UNFAIR!! I'l probably get slated for this but here goes!

Options
24

Replies

  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    Options
    To tell you the truth, it really bothers me when people only say "Good job" or "WTG"... I'd like to be called out on any issues I would have in my food diary and for people to actually offer advice when I ask about weight lifting issues. Sure it is nice to say nice little comments here and there, but it is overall not very helpful.

    Everyone's different on that end I think. Some get really really irritated when an issue gets pointed out. Some love the feedback. But you don't know until you try that's for sure!
  • fataalic
    fataalic Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    I often go and comment on the statuses of those people that don't get any comments, and I am more likely to comment on those, than the ones that get a lot of comments.
    Some of my friends get like 17 comments on each post, and my first thought is, OK this person has enough encouragement and support, let's find someone who did not get any comments.
    Am I bad for thinking this way?
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    Options
    I try my best NOT to add too many friends. I'm happy to say I only have 52, and all of them post something. I do respond back as often as I can, particularly for weight loss and days logged in. :smile:
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Options
    That can be rough.

    Lately I've been having to force myself to get onto MFP and be supportive - even posting in the forums is difficult right now. There's a host of external reasons, but the truth is that I need to be there for my friends, too.

    Good to be reminded of that. Thank you.

    You're a great friend. Everyone is allowed a break from being supportive. I can't speak for the rest of your friends' list but I just want you to get to feeling better. And here's a pug to make you smile:

    49750-screen-licker-pug_zpsc0410c10.gif


    I'm pretty sure the OP is talking about friend collectors, not people who just need to sit things out for awhile for personal reasons.

    Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.
  • karakreature
    karakreature Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    I've experienced this myself. There are about 6-10 people that comment on my post out of almost 40. Probably 3-6 on a regular basis. I comment on every single one of my friends posts. I go back to the last post I commented on and work my way up. It frustrates me that I don't get the same thing back from some people. It literally takes me about 5 mins or so to do this. But I look at it like this, being positive towards someone else makes my day better. It helps me stay positive. So, while I wish others would comment more, if I can make someone's day a little brighter, great. Feel free to add me if any of you would like. :happy:
  • jwhitch
    jwhitch Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    I agree with you. If you have friends because you want encouragement and support then you need to be prepared to give it back. I keep my friends list small and I try to comment on each & every one every day. If I don't receive any feedback after a certain period of time then I delete them. I also delete people that haven't been on the site logging in, but I don't usually do that until after I've sent them a message to see how they are doing. No response, then I remove them. It takes time & commitment to lose weight and it takes time & commitment to provide support. There are a lot of wonderful people here and I've got a great group of friends that proves it.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.

    True-- I have to smirk a bit every time someone says "we're all here for the same reason" because we clearly aren't.

    I guess the take away is that there are enough people here for everyone to be able to find the kind of friends they want. I have a mixture and I'm fine with that. Different friends offer support in different ways.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Options
    Thanks for reminding me, I have been busy the past few days and need to start up again. :flowerforyou:
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Options
    I frequently comment on milestones, but more often respond to specific concerns people in my FL express.

    I try to be supportive in all things, but personally, I don't get much out of the "yay you!" sort of comment. Yea, I had a great workout this morning. I have one pretty much every morning. There's no need to congratulate me on something I consider to be a basic requirement for my goals.

    In any case, your best bet is to delete people and add people. Eventually, you'll end up with a FL of compatible folks.
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
    Options
    you are right! my problem is i added too many friends! so sometimes its hard to go through every post for the day. i stopped commenting on the exercise posts and the completed diaries. but if they are posting self written comments, i do try. and if they post any weight loss i try to comment.

    This is me.
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    Options
    I have to say, I find myself commenting most of the posts / updates of people who remark on mine the most. So it's a two way street...... give and you shall receive :) At the start I always give people the benefit of the doubt and write comments anyway :)
  • trb85
    trb85 Posts: 81 Member
    Options
    Eh.

    I'm not here to get atta girls from internet strangers. That being said, only 1/3 of my friends fit that bill. The other 2/3 are people that I speak with on a semi-/regular basis in real life.

    And like someone else mentioned, I'd rather get some real feedback instead of a blind "good job." I see that and wonder if they even bothered to look at my diary. I ate 700 calories below goal and it was all craptastic food. How is that a "good job"?

    That's just you posting something so you can feel better about yourself. "I'm such a good friend; I comment on everyone's stuff!"
  • x_ZEST_x
    x_ZEST_x Posts: 27
    Options
    I take on board everything you all say. Not sure how to individually post...lol Still learning.

    Its not easy to get on when we are so busy, I know. I had to post "super busy but, have a great day" when I'm out doing things.

    I'm not having a jab at people that have busy lives, I just thought it was so unfair for them to say so much about themselves (they were already on mfp) and said nothing to my friend when they had done such a good job for the week.

    I have some really lovely friends on here and I guess I'm lucky. I wish you ALL good luck in your goals. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Forget who said that but like it. :)
  • Amberamazes
    Amberamazes Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    I've noticed this too. It kind of makes me want to stop commenting of any sort because I feel like I'm talking to myself. It also makes coming on here for me redundant, sure the calorie counter is nice, but if there's no support I'm not doing anything here different that I can't do privately in my food journal.
  • Pinkigloopyxie
    Pinkigloopyxie Posts: 231
    Options
    Sometimes those short sentences on statuses feel insincere when i post them.. that bothers me but I feel obligated to post back.

    I prefer talking on the forums and maybe helping people that way.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Options
    It's true that just a couple words here and there can make a difference in someone's day. I've had some personal things to deal with the past few days, and my being down on myself has kind of kept me from entering and releasing food because it makes me angry that trying to do what I need to do hasn't worked for a couple of weeks. But I know it's just a couple of weeks and things will get back on track, so I just have to stick to it. Having friends get on and say "you got this" or "baby, just do it today" has helped me when I get low.

    I want to make my friends feel as good as they make me feel. I hope that I am.

    Okay....whew....I feel better. Happy Monday All.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Options
    Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.

    True-- I have to smirk a bit every time someone says "we're all here for the same reason" because we clearly aren't.

    I guess the take away is that there are enough people here for everyone to be able to find the kind of friends they want. I have a mixture and I'm fine with that. Different friends offer support in different ways.

    Yes!! I have a good mix of personality types, many of whom I'm sure would hate me IRL, particularly after a couple of drinks,but I like their perspectives on things.
  • North44
    North44 Posts: 359 Member
    Options
    I always give at least one comment to each of my friends per day. I only have 4 friends though, and I'm very happy with them. They are pretty responsive to me too, so it's a win- win.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Options
    The people in my friends list don't need me to say "good job" every time they do something they should be doing.

    Just like I don't need them to say it to me.

    I can be pretty fake sometimes, when my diary was public, I left it blank for day and closed it out. I had 6 comments that said "looking good!" or "way to go!" There was NOTHING in it!!!
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    Options
    I often go and comment on the statuses of those people that don't get any comments, and I am more likely to comment on those, than the ones that get a lot of comments.
    Some of my friends get like 17 comments on each post, and my first thought is, OK this person has enough encouragement and support, let's find someone who did not get any comments.
    Am I bad for thinking this way?

    No, I do the same thing. Some of my friends can post one or two word statuses and immediately get 15 comments about it. Others don't. (I'm in the latter category, myself.) I usually go for the ones that tend to be supportive of me too.

Categories