Everything I didn't want to know and/or be
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Right now, I'm so glad I made the decision to stop dating for awhile.
I second this.0 -
I'd tell him you went through his phone and ask who those women were. I once went through a guy I was dating's email and found out he was cheating. All he could say was "YOU WENT THROUGH MY EMAIL!?" Apparently where his penis had been was not an issue even though he was living with me and using my money while he was jobless.... My point is, maybe you shouldn't have went through his phone, but that doesn't excuse what you found.0
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He's just not that into you anymore. When I realized I wasn't in love with my ex anymore I acted the same way, it was like even him breathing near me made me incredibly mad. And those pictures on his phone...c'mon. You know exactly what you should do0
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R U N... and don't look back.0
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Umm...I think you should read this. Read it aloud and record it. Then listen to the recording and transcribe it. Now read it again but imagine the girl in the story is some one you love dearly. Now what would you tell her?
This ^^^ but then you kinda knew that before you wrote this I'm guessing? An accidental fart from someone with ibs is nothing. Its not like you pulled covers over his head. You were embarressed and he wasn't sensitive. He was a jerk. There are genuinely nice men out there ..... ( if you go for that, a lot of women don't)0 -
I don't fart...the floorboards creak :happy:0
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I think he called you disgusting.. because he is feeling disgusted about something he did or himself.. ever notice people call people what they are or what they are doing? yea.. look through the phone.. in some ways I understand the farting thing to be annoying cus my man farts all the time.. But-- u have a condition.. does he know that? if so I would just let him know it wont work out.. that you need to find someone who loves you no matter what just like u would them.. and someone who does not call you names but sits down like an adult to talk when things are bothering them. The naked pix thing seems a bit odd...0
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You were in trouble for using a toilet in your own house?
Your stupid and disgusting?
You can be in trouble for finding pics of girls on his phone?
You sound crazy if you stay in my opinion!
If he truly loved you he would accept you for who you are and having IBS and wouldn't care if you farted around him so long as you felt comfortable. He wouldn't be calling you stupid or disgusting, and he definitely wouldn't be deleting pics of you and keeping pics of other girls on his phone.0 -
Seriously though...I wouldn't be able to stay in that kind of relationship and I hope everything works out for you. :flowerforyou:0
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He's just not that into you anymore. When I realized I wasn't in love with my ex anymore I acted the same way, it was like even him breathing near me made me incredibly mad. And those pictures on his phone...c'mon. You know exactly what you should do
THIS. I've been in this place and in yours. (two different relationships)
Took me a while to figure out that people aren't supposed to act like that, but I leanred.
Your turn!
Good luck0 -
I've gone through a lot of replies and I took the advice and went back and read what I wrote, took a break, read it again and I'm back. What I wrote does not display the whole relationship, obviously, I'd have to go on all day. I don't believe in the 'book it and run', I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen. We've been through ups and downs - a lot worse - and have come out stronger.
From what I asked, no men gave me an answer as to what they would do if they noticed, however, one man said I should ask him about it and see what he says. I was just on the phone with him, he obviously hasn't noticed, he hasn't said anything. I do want to make it very clear, he's not controling, he was brought up in a strict household and his parents are very respectful people. He doesn't get the whole burping and farting thing, it's not polite, but I have a problem and he's aware of it. SO, I told him flat out "It's too bad, it's going to happen sometimes. I'm sorry it lingered! Geez!"
Anyway, I do trust him. These weren't pics of just "some chick" they were pics of some fitness model probably from some magazine/website. The women in the other pics, I'm almost positive are friends of his, and yes they were clothed.
I don't believe in throwing away a relationship because you argue once... we don't argue much. This weekend in particular he was really frustrated because my roommate and her boyfriend are lazy as hell and didn't shovel the driveway and he had to do it so he can fit his car in... I don't blame him. He then brought me grocery shopping and when he wanted to workout Sunday I said "unless we leave now we aren't going." ... he got a bit annoyed with me.
He generally is an amazing man and treats me very well and does get along with all of my family and friends. I do love him very much... he's trying to work around his schedule to see me for valentine's day because he knows it's important to me. Originally he was going to go play footie (soccer) and see me Friday until I spoke up.
My issue with this is confronting him basically tells him "I went in you phone when you weren't around. I was snooping on you." Which is something I never ever wanted to do! I just wanted to see if my pics where there... technically snooping. BtW, my pics - all clothed and my face was not attached... I do not send naked pics! The most he gets is me covered in a thong and a bra... so kinda like wearing a bikini. If those pics got around, I'd be like "yeah, that's me" I've had boudoir shoots with the pics on FB, it doesn't phase me.
Confronting him will may make him not trust me... I don't want that. However, seems like the only way I'm going to be able to ask him about wtheck those were doing on his phone is by confonting him... I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever go through other peoples things, the one time ONE TIME I'm curious
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Uhhhh... is this real life??0
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I'm all for working things out, but he's obviously guilty about something and is pushing his guilt on you. Break up with him. If he can't accept your uncontrollable issues... yeah, just step up and send him packing.
And don't for one moment think:
But... I'll be all alone!
But... no one else will ever love me!
But... I'll never find anyone better than him.
Because there is nothing wrong with being alone, there are plenty of men would' be willing to love every part of you, and they are all better than him. Heck, I know guys who would love to have a burping/tooting competition with you and they'd treat you like a queen.
They ARE out there, just step away from this mess and you'll find them.
Edited - just ready your reply post. What I say still goes.
If he has freedoms with your phone, you should by all rights be able to check his any time. The fact that they were there in the first place... well, he has a lot of s'plainin' to do.0 -
Sweetie, you sound like a typical verbally abused woman. Sorry you're having to deal with this.0
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I'm all for working things out, but he's obviously guilty about something and is pushing his guilt on you. Break up with him. If he can't accept your uncontrollable issues... yeah, just step up and send him packing.
agree with this 100%0 -
Leave him. Kick him out. Whatever. But get out of this relationship.
I've had some pretty awful relationships, and it's so easy to miss the signs that something is wrong when you're in the relationship. You usually don't see them until you're out of it, and then you wonder what the heck was wrong with your head that you let it go on as long as it did.
He's controlling, and he's hiding something. From the sound of your post, you live in fear of what he will say or do for any action you take. He's a guy, guys are fallible, I will give him that. But under no circumstances whatsoever is it okay for any [wo]man in a relationship with anyone to have naked pictures of anyone other than his/her significant other on their phone/computer/in their emails/etc. IT SHOULD NOT EVER HAPPEN!
You are a human being. Humans need to pee, burp, fart, poop. He does it too. Everyone else who says you should not do those things around him needs to grow the eff up. It happens. Do I think you should be intentional about it? No. That's just being respectful. But to be told you used the wrong bathroom, and you're disgusting for doing something that you naturally need to do to maintain the health of YOUR body?? **** that.
What boggles my mind is that you said he has free reign of YOUR phone, but you are afraid to touch his. He is hiding something if he will freak out about you touching his things. What exactly do you think he's doing with pictures of naked girls on his phone? Admiring the lighting??? Are you okay with him doing those things while he looks at anyone other than you?
The fact that you trust him "110%" in spite of the facts and his "new" attitude towards you.... Maybe you shouldn't be so trusting. Confront him, even if you're afraid of a confrontation and you know it will get ugly. He is not respecting you.
Best of luck with this relationship whether or not you heed the advice of the multitudes or stick it out. I do hope whatever your decision is, that it works for the best for you.0 -
First, let me tell you something: my husband and I have only been together for [almost] two years, married for nearly 1.5 years; we fart in front of one another (and then pick on the other one, of course!) and we go to the bathroom in front of one another. If you're in a long-term relationship with someone and you (or they) can't handle those things, then it's quite possible you're not a good fit. Bodily functions are a fact of life, there's no escaping them, and when you're living with someone day-in and day-out, you're going to encounter those things. In my opinion, it doesn't matter so much *how* he reacts about those things, it's that they're a big deal to him after two years together.
Second, the fact that he has pictures of other women on his phone (I'm assuming they were sent to him, not just generic model pictures for his "personal" man business) is a huge red flag. Some people don't consider it "cheating" as long as nothing physical actually happens with another person, so he may see nothing wrong with it. If you do, then there's another indicator that the two of you maybe aren't marriage material. Personally, I think the emotional/mental aspect of cheating is worse, because it goes hand in hand with desire. 'If you desire another; If I am not enough, then you're not for me' is how I feel about it.
Having said all that- if you really feel this may be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to address these issues. Being that you're both catholic, perhaps counseling with your parish priest might be a possibility? Sometimes insight and advice from an impartial, third party whom you both respect can be helpful.
Best of Luck0 -
A coworker of mine has IBS. It is tough on him, but it does add stress to the rest of us.
Make him talk about his feelings and be honest about how IBS will effect your future. Will it get better? Worse?
Good luck.0 -
I didn't think I would ever say this but seriously "Just Break Up"
It's not you.....it's not him.....it's the two of you together. It's toxic and it's not good for either of you.....You're both kind of nuts and putting it together just makes it exponentially worse.
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Ripping that shirt off certainly got my dang attention!
As for your fella, he's a dog. He has OTHER WOMEN on his phone. There's your big blue paw print. Unless he worships the ground you walk on, don't give him the time of day.0 -
Are you serious?
Forget the peeing & farts etc that should not even come into it for now.
I'd have one question for him why are there pictures of other women in your phone?
Go from there.
I can't believe you have not asked this. Is it deep down you know the truth?
Please don't let any one make a fool of you.
Good luck x0
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