Food Police And Nasty Hurtful Comments

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  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
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    I've had issues with my mom doing the same thing for years - sadly, that's part of the reason I'm as big as I am. I really think if she hadn't said anything I wouldn't have eaten so much and so many bad things. Now, I realize ultimately I did it to myself but it was because I didn't want her knowing what I ate that I would eat out or sneak food or hide food.

    I try not to listen to anyone anymore (not even her) - I realize she's not going to change because she truly believes she knows what I'm going through and thinks she struggled with weight (she was a chubby child who then grew taller and didn't so much lose weight as evened out and has been a size 4 since my childhood).

    I know what I'm doing, so I don't listen to anyone's opinion - even if they're trying to help like "Oh, don't eat carbs after whenever time..." - I know what works for me and that's what I'll stick with.
  • ladyrider55
    ladyrider55 Posts: 316 Member
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    Get mouthy and swear at them, hopefully that will shut them up!! Or just say "you don't see me telling you what you should be eating or not eating do you?? It's a cruel world we're living in. The only way to survive is to defend yourself from the rude people out there.
    Good Luck. :flowerforyou:
  • keltee15
    keltee15 Posts: 30 Member
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    You know a lot of people struggle with weight problems, being over weight or under weight, Most of the time when ppl are rude that way, it usually hurts ppl enough to make them go way over board and eat more or eat less. Usually the ppl making the comments are the one with the eating problems, They are usually the ones that do the quick fixes. When i use to get snacks out of the vending machine at work, one guy would always comment, " you dont really want that its bad for you" I would answer, I am only going to live once, going to eat everything i want now. He didnt know, maybe i hadnt had a thing to eat all day because i had no time. Of course I am always a smart *kitten* when it comes to ppl like that. I wouldnt worry about the ppl that say things that hurt, because usually those ppl have problems way deeper.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
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    Are you sure there isn't something in the water where you live? That is some crazy behavior.

    This....I cant believe these stories are real.

    It doesn't sound that outlandish to me. That's exactly how people act when they are in junior high. It sounds like these people never matured beyond that. I'm sure there are lots of people like that in this world.
  • cphorton28
    cphorton28 Posts: 21 Member
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    Those people will reap what they sow. I know for myself I remember all the hurtful things that people have said even how they look. Those looks like you're hopeless and will always be obese. But since I have discovered that loosing weight is half the battle it's your spirit that matters most. Although it still hurts the upperhand we have on this site is that with support and understanding we can achieve our goals and when we do, we don't even have to rub it in anyone's face because we'll be fabulous in their face and happier then they'll ever be and better people inside out, not outside in. Be encouraged and don't react or even respond they are not worth your breath. God bless Big hugs!

    My Worst: Oh what's the news are you pregnant...... Oh what happened to your college body,/You never had a college body...... Hey what happened to you, how come you gained so much weight........

    To God be the Glory Anyhow when you make your milestones those comments will hurt less.....
  • juliec33
    juliec33 Posts: 238 Member
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    When someone pulls that crap with me, I look at them, smile, and say all wide-eyed, "Gosh, I bet it's exhausting being 100% perfect all the time. I feel bad for you." Then I turn around and ignore them while they sputter and freak out.

    Love this!!!! Mind if I use it sometime?
  • hrubyk1804
    hrubyk1804 Posts: 51
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    WTH?! What is WRONG with people??
    I'm so sorry you've had to put up with jerks like that...It truly makes me sad that people act that way.
    What ever happened to "if you don't have anything nice to say...don't say anything at all" ??
  • macaya5
    macaya5 Posts: 75
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    Story time!

    When I was a teenager, after school I would go down this hugemongous hill to my uncle's house to pick my little sister up. Her school was nearby. so this one time, I walk in and my aunt and cousin fall on me like wha? and start berating me for being fat, what am I eating blah blah blah...when they finally stopped, I was like whelp! off to take the little one home! homework and all.

    and do you know what they did?

    they insisted that I have a snack first. a donut! or some cookies!

    I was like srsly (o.O) no.

    I don't think people even realize they do this stuff.
  • laluna6
    laluna6 Posts: 7
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    Wow, as I was reading your post my jaw fell open. I would be absolutely horrified if someone said that to me. How dare they?
    If I were you I would slap these "people" (sorry but in my mind you have to be a monster to say such things) right in their ugly faces.

    I send you all my patience and support! Dont give up because of them. You are beautiful, strong and couragious!
  • ashleen7
    ashleen7 Posts: 258 Member
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    Yeah I find a swift kick in the shin usually makes these people think twice about passing anither comment to other overweight people after they've said something derogatory to me.
    It's my own form of charity work, curing the world of douchenozzles! :drinker:
  • hrubyk1804
    hrubyk1804 Posts: 51
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    When I was younger....comments like that would have bothered me, but now....I know just how flippin' fantastic I am no matter what the scale says.

    If someone moo'ed at me....I sit there looking puzzled...and then say, "hmm, I'd make a noise back...but I don't know what noise an a-hole makes..." and then walk away.

    If someone said I didn't need that cupcake...I'd turn and face them...and shove the whole cupcake in my mouth...and then go "mmm....so good" while chewing it.

    I find that if you don't let bullies get to you....you take away their power. There will always be jerks in the world....however, I won't let any of them occupy space in my head or effect how I see myself.


    ^^^Love this!
  • MissJJ74
    MissJJ74 Posts: 111 Member
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    I live in New York City.

    These things don't happen daily, they have happened over the years. Each time a new comment comes up, I think of the others - but I don't dwell. I had a friend telling me yesterday about something obnoxious that was said about her weight and these stories of mine come flooding back. I have a friend in California who got "oinked" at one day AT WORK!

    You can't fix stupid, but these comments do hurt.

    I don't work in that same office anymore (the fat *kitten* story), but when I was there I knew other people who were "food policed" and I would hear people gossip about others.

    My highest weight I have been a size 14/16. Certainly not skinny but also not so obese where I can't fit onto a subway or bus seat.

    Maybe I'm not as strong as so many of you on here, but I do find these food police comments and snickering (not from MFP) hurtful.

    The pretzel neighbor - she lost over 150 pounds at least five years ago and has kept it off. Of all people SHE should know not to food police other people!

    To those of you who have never had a comment made to or at them, I am happy for you and I hope it never happens!

    I don't doubt this for a second, because I'm from NYC also. I've had my share of comments as well, but mine have mainly been from my family getting on my case about why am I not as thin as I was 20 years ago! I had to calmly tell my family "Look, I appreciate your concern. However if you think for one second I don't realize what size I am or that I gained weight, you are sadly mistaken. I've beaten myself up enough about this, I don't need to hear it from you guys too, so please back off". My brothers stopped bugging me, but my parents persist. :frown:

    If you need a backup person to take these people down a notch, let me know. I'm usually good with snappy comebacks. I'll be more than happy to put some jerk on the A train in their place. I think my best comeback was "Wow, did your mother teach you to say things like that? Please let her know she failed in raising you, I can only pity what your childhood was like". The look on the guy's face was priceless.

    Don't let these people get to you. They're rude and obnoxious, and people like that don't even deserve a second thought.
  • JenniferNoll
    JenniferNoll Posts: 367 Member
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    I've had something similar happen to me. I was at a restaurant having lunch with a friend. I was eating a SALAD, and the person who was sitting at the table next to ours was audibly talking to her friend about how much salad dressing I was using, cheese, croutons, etc. After a few minutes of comments like "No wonder that girl is so fat," I totally lost it.

    I stood up and looked directly at the person who was doing the talking. Loud enough for everyone in the small restaurant to hear, I started talking:

    Who the hell are you? Do you know me? I'm a fatty because my salad has cheese on it? Are you aware that people can be overweight for reasons other than overeating? I gained weight because of a health condition, but you don't know that do you? Instead you sit there all sanctimonious making comments about my meal. Once again, who the hell to you think you are?

    The girl just kind of stuttered an "I'm sorry," called for her check and left.

    I'm also a big believer in Karma. What goes around comes around. Sometimes you're the one who gets hurt, but also, sometimes you're the thing thats coming around. Stay strong.
  • oneblumsy
    oneblumsy Posts: 16 Member
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    Love that response!!!!
  • abrahamsitososa
    abrahamsitososa Posts: 716 Member
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    They're just a bunch of freaking bitter idiots. Just ignore them.
  • 366to266
    366to266 Posts: 473 Member
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    You need to arm yourself with a bunch of Fat Retorts!

    I wrote a website of that name once!
  • 366to266
    366to266 Posts: 473 Member
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    Who the hell are you? Do you know me? I'm a fatty because my salad has cheese on it? Are you aware that people can be overweight for reasons other than overeating? I gained weight because of a health condition, but you don't know that do you? Instead you sit there all sanctimonious making comments about my meal. Once again, who the hell to you think you are?

    GOOD FOR YOU!

    The OP must learn to stop being a victim and rehearse telling these jerks where to stick their rude comments!

    I am 348lb and a dress size 34 (UK) and if any stranger makes rude comments about my weight I lay into them with lines such as

    "So - you think you are a perfect specimen of humanity, do you?"

    "Since when is my size YOUR business?"

    "So, are you an endocrinologist? No? Well then you know NOTHING about my condition, so shut the fvck up."

    "Better a wide body than a narrow mind."

    "I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

    "That was extremely unkind of you. I guess that you said it
    to make yourself feel better. Did it work?"

    "I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid."
  • Raybug0903
    Raybug0903 Posts: 86 Member
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    Oh my, those are some harsh criticisms. For the most part, I've never had complete strangers make derogatory comments like that toward me, but the ones from my family hurt the worst.

    The other day I was mentioning to my mother that I'd like to grow my hair long again, and she replied, "Oh good! Hopefully you'll be skinny by then and THEN you will look pretty." Gee, thanks Mom. And she has absolutely NO room to talk. The worst part is that I forgive her way too easily.

    My brother used to pick on me as a child because I was always chubby. I thought he had outgrown that phase (I am 23 and he is 26) but apparently not. A few years ago my family and I were riding home together from my grandmother's funeral and I made a comment out of the blue about being tired or something, and he said, "Maybe if you'd lose weight it wouldn't be a problem." I was SO enraged that I didn't speak to him for weeks. Ever since then things have been tense between us and we aren't close at all. I truly thinks he dislikes me because I am overweight. He is extremely judgmental and thinks all overweight people are scum. I just try not to let it get to me but easier said than done.
  • LdyPsych
    LdyPsych Posts: 79 Member
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    That's absolutely disgusting... I admire your courage for not flooring these people and calling them up on something they may feel insecure about. They aren't food police, they're a55holes.

    I wanted to say something wise and supportive, but I couldn't come up with anything better than this last sentence.

    What they said ..... and next time call me and I will show up and say nasty stuff that will hurt their feelings! Seriously, I would enjoy it and you would be guilt free. I don't keep my mouth shut well in the face of ignorance and cruelty.

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