Why are people so mean?!
Replies
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i watched flight last night...it was pretty good.....denzels awesome0
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I'M NOT YELLING! I'M GREEK! THIS IS HOW WE TALK!
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!
*flings hands violently through the air*
WE ARE JUST HAVING A CONVERSAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.
Didn't know that was an option. Thanks for the info.0 -
I agree, OP. People on here can be really nasty. I was surprised and dissapointed by this when I first joined. I don't even bother asking questions outside of my friend feed.
My opinion has always been that people tend to speak to others the way they speak to themselves.
Snark is one thing. But the downright venom I've seen is quite another. It's pathetic.0 -
People are mean because Americans have been brainwashed by the media for the last 50 years to believe that if you're mean, you're strong and will endure. Not true you silly Americans. Your patriotism lacks humanity.
STRAWMAN! Our patriotism never had no sissy humanity Frenchie!
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I didn't even know it was there! Good tip! Thanks! Ignoring you in 5, 4, 3, ... :bigsmile:I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.
yup yup!!! Gonna hit this thing everytime some snarky, thinks they're Kevin Hart, wanna be down grades a post!!!0 -
I like these threads. I can add to "ignore" all the people in them who somehow have managed to get through life without learning to deal with other human beings.
Seriously, how do you navigate life if this is something that bothers you? It's an internet forum full of strangers. The font is 10 Arial. It's not scary at all.0 -
I try never to come off as "mean" to newbies. But if I've seen the same person posting the same bad/dangerous info every day for 6 months, there's a good chance that my politeness is going to start to slip. My responses are going to get shorter and more to the point for starters, which is sometimes perceived as "mean" here.
What *does* often happen to newbies is that they come in, guns a'blazin', with a bunch of incorrect info that they have heard somewhere, and with which they're going to enlighten us. Most of the members who have been around awhile respond by saying that the info is incorrect, and the newbie feels ganged up on because of the sheer volume of responses. It's not that any one poster would have come off as mean, it's just that they're overwhelmed by how many people refuted their information.
What you described isn't being mean, in my opinion. I'm referring to those that snap at people just for asking a question they've heard before... or that just throw out an out of context response like "just lose more weight" without providing any helpful information... like explaining spot training isn't effective. I'm also not referring to folks that simply don't agree - that can be stated and your opinion shared without calling people names or belittling their efforts. And humor is just too easy to misconstrue in text... so sometimes legimitimate attempts at a funny response come across as very rude to the person that raised the question. But, boy, it sure is *fun* to call someone with their own perceived concern *whiny*... I'm sure it's very helpful to many. <---- because it's sarcasm, did that make that sound nicer?
But - this was a good read to distract me from work for a bit. I'm now going to take my whiny, over-sensitive, apparently incapable of being a useful member of society because I empathize with others-self back to work.0 -
People on the internet are always crying out about how people would NEVER act this way in real life.
Which leads me to wonder, are those same people going around asking every mean person they meet face-to-face "Why are you so mean?!" Are these people acting the same way irl as they do here, continually upset and getting angry at the mean people they meet randomly on the street?
It's such a bizarre thought to entertain.
That would make a hilarious Youtube video!0 -
I always like to half-read these threads and look at the post counts of people that think that everyone here is mean, vs. the posts of people that are like "eh..."
And just so we're all clear, "bullying" on MFP = disagreeing and/or fact checking someone, even if it is based on your own personal experience.
^^ Yup. It is more or less true that all the people agreeing here are low post count people who don't visit the forums often or only do so to spread misinformation. The people who are on the forums a lot and try to post helpful information brush off the negative comments because they know better and/or know the difference between a negative comment and correcting misinformation.
Just about every "people are mean!" post in these forums really means "people disagreed with me!" This one is no exception.0 -
Wow...
Ok...I knew the ignore button was there, but I don't use it, because I haven't witnessed where has really anyone ever said anything so hateful that it would warrant an ignore.
That said, I have seen matter of fact answers that state facts that may or may not be construed as rude (it's so freaking hard to emote through text, and if you're like me, not using the smilies probably doesn't help, but whatever).
I have seen some differences in belief that were conveyed respectfully.
I have seen some comments that are totally off topic and full of snark.
That said? It's the interwebz. I know ONE person on my friends list personally from real life, so it's not like I'm going to get all butt hurt if someone says something that isn't all sugar coated to me. Then again, sarcasm is my second language, so I don't offend easily.
It's a forum. It's NOT personal. Yeah, it'd be really cool if it was hearts and flowers all the time, but I think this place is a piece of cake compared to some forums I have belonged to in the past.
I chalk a lot of it up to a) real life; b) new routines; and c) being hungry enough to want to eat half your desk.
It is what it is...but what it ISN'T is personal.
Just my $0.02.
ETA :
:happy: 
:bigsmile: :flowerforyou: (just, you know, to be on the safe side.) 0 -
This is the internet. Meanies are gonna Mean . Surround yourself with those who care about your progress and....
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In my opinion it is because of one of these reasons or combination -
1) people can say whatever without being identified and don't feel fully responsible like they would if they would be facing you,
2) putting someone else down makes person feel better about themselves,
3) Some people are plain narrow minded, and just don't know better.
Best approach ... keep on rolling.
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I agree. The annonimity of the inter-webz gives people way bigger ballz than they'd have in real life. ignore those people, when you're miserable on the inside you're miserable to others on the outside.0
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some people are cruel. I can say if someone asks me to give them my opinion I am one to be honest. I would never intentionally insult someone or attack them but if they ask me to look at their food and exercise because they are having a hard time losing I am not one to not say hey I see your listing housework as exercise and in my book if your doing housework you would normally do it so one should not list it as extra calories burned. I mean if your moving your parents who have lived in the same house forever and packing and moving boxes for several hours now that would be considered extra exercise in my book. That is just my opinion not that it matters at all.
Have a great day try and be nice to people.
susan0 -
There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.
A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.
Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.
Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?
I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.
I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.
To provide her with exercises would be to lie to her, insinuating that a particular exercise wil cause her to lose weight. And if she has already successfully been losing weight, it sounds like she didn't need generic nutrition tips.0 -
Some people are so insecure about themselves that they find someone sweet and naive to rip into, thus alleviating some of the emotional pain. Then again, some people are born without any compassion and thrive on making other people's lives a living hell. The latter will probably never change, whereas all the misunderstood people just need someone to be a friend and a confidant, and their attitude will probably improve over time.
Because a little thing in their brain tells them to be mean or maybe they have a mental problem or they have a hard home life or are very sensitive so that causes them to be mean or have bad social skills so if someone is mean to you try to understand and just ingore them
Because they don't care about other people's feelings.
they have a little ding ding
becuz there usually jealous0 -
Just read through this thread in another few minutes - it's filling up with lots of great examples.
I actually do find people behave differently online. It's rare for me to see someone shout in someone's face irl, "You're a fat, lazy, stupid pig and I know everything and you know nothing." But I've seen it here - that's practically a quote from a thread. So as much as people are mean and rude irl, I think it's easier for people to do it here.
If your an avid poster, you've seen the same questions posted and reposted and may lose patience when someone not as seasoned asks again. Or doesn't use search. They may not even know search exists or how to use it. Tolerance could go a long way, both on and offline.I guess I am lucky (or naive) because I have not seen the mean comments yet. You are right - we are all here for the same reasons - to get healthy, lose weight and find some encouragement. The mean people I have encountered have been outside o MFP so far. Last week, someone looked at me and said "I guess it is true - you have lost a little bit of weight". She followed that with "but it looks like you still have a really long way to go". Just plain cruel!
How about posting a link to that thread?0 -
You mean human nature is not basically good, loving and kind??
Well now ...
:sad:0 -
To the OP, I absolutely know what you mean. These forums are a train wreck most days, full of snarky/trying-to-be-funny comments. It's gets so old! I feel horrible when I see a new member ask a question... it never fails, they get BLASTED.
Stick with journaling your food and exercise and get away from these forums! 0 -
Some of the snarkiest people on MFP are the smartest. I have gleaned some amazing information about losing fat and lifting weights from smart a$$e$. I don't take things to heart - I listen to learn. I don't always have great days - but I am not a whiner. I don't want to read any more threads about people who just "can't do it anymore", who "need motivation", who get advice but continue to do what they want to do and then 3 weeks later they're back whining that things aren't working. I am tired of hearing from people who want something to be a quick fix and are only looking for someone to pat them on the back and tell them they will be at goal weight in 2 months.
The forum is the playground of MFP. Pick your friends. Ignore the people who you feel are bullies. Don't come on the playground if you can't stand getting honesty. Listen and learn.0 -
I swear this topic is re-posted every week...:/0
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There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.
A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.
Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.
Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?
I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.
I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.
To provide her with exercises would be to lie to her, insinuating that a particular exercise wil cause her to lose weight. And if she has already successfully been losing weight, it sounds like she didn't need generic nutrition tips.
Exactly. These tips and tricks are bogus. It's what the diet industry uses to sell you crap. The principles of fat loss are simple. That's why there is no end to people looking for "tricks" or quick fixes, followed by people quickly trying to squelch the thread.0 -
It's easy to be mean or rude to someone when you don't have to face them...0
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Isn't the whole idea behind this not only to get support from people, but to also get input from other people. If you are asking if your 1000 calorie diet with working out 8 hours a week and not eating back any calories is a good idea, you should be prepared for a lot of big fat "NOs". If you can't handle brutal honesty, then why even come into the forums?0
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that is so weird because i feel like i am way meaner in real life than on the internet.
i do agree that it is not cool for people to try and bring others down here- where it is supposed to be about motivation and support. we should always try to be and stay positive. too much negativity these days.0 -
Case and point, here is some bad advice that OP posted today to the forums, and I'm guessing people explained that it was incorrect, so she got butt hurt.I am afraid of bulking up muscles, so I am focusing on cardio over weights for the time being. Strength training is a huge part of it, but I want to lose some of the fat before I begin toning. I would ease up on the weights and keep up the good cario! Sounds like you're doing awesome!Eat when your body tells you too. If your tummy is rumbling, it's not good to let it go like that for too long or you might over eat or your body might store too much of what you eat, bc it's afraid your not going to feed it again. I stay under my calorie goal by quite a bit eat day, but I feel like I am constantly eating. It works for my metabolism. Each person is different. I just recommend not eating too too close to bed time. I've read that your tum should rest for a bit and have a chance to digest before sleeping. Then shock your system awake the next morning with a big glass of water. Water first thing in the morning is awesome!0
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YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I have quit MFP twice because people can be so rude, but those who are rude also have HUGE (I can't emphasize that enough) egos.
Okay, not trying to be mean here, but if someone is rude to you in real life, do you quit real life? If you're at a store and someone cuts in front of you in line, do you just walk out? I don't understand this at all.
A better example, perhaps; you're in a store, and you shout randomly "Does anyone know how many calories is in this box of food?" and someone comes up, rolls their eyes, and points to the front of the box, and says "It's right there, on the front of the box, under the word 'calories'" are you outraged that they weren't polite enough when they helped you? Do you throw a tantrum?
If a person is rude to me or gets in my face, I will be a *****, get nasty with them, and cut them off in a snap. There is no space in my life for rude people, because most of them are hypocrites and/or extremely self-centered.
And if someone is pointing out the obviously to me, I must be blind therefore needing assistance.
So yes, I guess that makes me out to be a *****, but because of it, I live a very happy life.
Have a nice day! :drinker:0 -
that is so weird because i feel like i am way meaner in real life than on the internet.
Me too. Here I have the chance to offer on-topic, helpful advice and the opportunity to toss in some solidarity to others. I'm not a *kitten* IRL and rarely interact long enough with strangers long enough to do anything that could be construed as mean. But "nice" is not generally a word my friends would use to describe me. Compassionate, yes. In it for the long haul with my friends, yes.
But I'm far too snarky and impatient with the world in general to be called "nice."0 -
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