Why are people so mean?!

msaestein1

There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.

A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.

Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.

Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?

I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.

I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.

Ah but see that is the only legitimate response. You can't reduce body fat in a specific area. You can work specific muscles, but abs are made in the kitchen not the gym. Telling someone that doing 37 crunches per second will not make their abs any more visible. It might be seen as mean, but that is the truth.

You can't lose more weight just in your abs. Recommending specific exercises is misleading, but the others are seen as mean?

Its not what you say, its how you say it. You just offered an explanation for why she needs to lose more weight. They just said "lose more weight". She was dieting and exercising and had already lost weight. She wanted to start focusing on how to get abs. Losing weight helps you do that of course. Ab exercises and machines were made for a reason. Every workout video I have ever bought has a section on ab training. Recommending a few would not have hurt them. To not do that is what is 'mean' to me.

Hbazzell

Because we evolved on a planet where everything wants to eat us.

hmmmm, but I want to eat EVERYTHING!

ndj1979

people are mean in real life and the internet that is life, get used to it...

I like to encourage people ...but if I see someone post some BS like "skipping breakfast will make you go into starvation mode" then I will call them on it ...is that "mean" I guess it depends on what your definition of mean is...

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.

A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.

Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.

Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?

I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.

I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.

But the correct responses are the ones you thought were mean. The ones for workout videos and such will help with core strength but will not reduce belly fat.

ETA: I see you responded above. But you still seem to think that we should be giving wrong advice because it's more helpful. Sure, they should explain that spot reduction isn't possible, and I'll bet there were people who did. I would consider your examples short and to the point, and possibly not completely clear to the OP, but I would not call them mean.

DopeItUp

People are mean because threads like the following get made on a daily basis:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/891455-why-are-people-so-mean

LoraF83

There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.

A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.

Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.

Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?

I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.

I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.

But the correct responses are the ones you thought were mean. The ones for workout videos and such will help with core strength but will not reduce belly fat.

And just because a point blank answer isn't useful to YOU, doesn't mean it isn't helpful to someone else. Shouldn't you be respectful of the people who just have plain, point blank personalities?

WendyTerry420

Your example is a good example of how to "argue" a point. I am talking about the people that call each other names and saw awful things, in a place that is supposed to harness positivity and encouragement. There is a very easy way to disagree, but some people are plain mean about it.

If you saw people calling each other names, then you probably saw two friends being facetious.

toaster6

Well what do you consider mean? It's usually hard to figure out what someone means online when you can't go off of tone and inflection-- I often see comments construed as mean when the reader just read it as being mean or when the commenter is just being blunt or straight-forward. I don't really see being blunt as necessarily being mean/rude, personally. I basically just give people the benefit of the doubt when reading their comments.

k8blujay2

The question isn't, "why are people so mean?" around here as much as "why are people so whiny?"

Seriously, I am on the threads quite a bit and I haven't seen near the number of "mean posts" that is apparently around here... especially compared to the number of threads exactly like this one... and trust me, you haven't seen mean until you have been in a mommy forum or a political/current events forum (both of which I have been a part of at one time or another)...

But then I have the ability to read the sarcasm font... which apparently is a gift from God since it is becoming more and more obvious not everyone has that ability.

MyChocolateDiet

I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.

I just found that button by accident a week ago or so and got rid of a bunch of zombie profile pic's that way. I just wish people would use it to block booty pictures since those are a big motivation for me lol, and i can't post them cause they are against the rules, lol.

ILoveTheBrowns

i watched flight last night...it was pretty good.....denzels awesome

CorvusCorax77

I'M NOT YELLING! I'M GREEK! THIS IS HOW WE TALK!

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!

*flings hands violently through the air*

WE ARE JUST HAVING A CONVERSAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VanessaGS

I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.

Didn't know that was an option. Thanks for the info.

rosiereally2

I agree, OP. People on here can be really nasty. I was surprised and dissapointed by this when I first joined. I don't even bother asking questions outside of my friend feed.

My opinion has always been that people tend to speak to others the way they speak to themselves.

Snark is one thing. But the downright venom I've seen is quite another. It's pathetic.

Admiral_Derp

People are mean because Americans have been brainwashed by the media for the last 50 years to believe that if you're mean, you're strong and will endure. Not true you silly Americans. Your patriotism lacks humanity.

STRAWMAN! Our patriotism never had no sissy humanity Frenchie!

lorib75

I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.

I didn't even know it was there! Good tip! Thanks! Ignoring you in 5, 4, 3, ... :bigsmile:

yup yup!!! Gonna hit this thing everytime some snarky, thinks they're Kevin Hart, wanna be down grades a post!!!

cmriverside

I like these threads. I can add to "ignore" all the people in them who somehow have managed to get through life without learning to deal with other human beings.

Seriously, how do you navigate life if this is something that bothers you? It's an internet forum full of strangers. The font is 10 Arial. It's not scary at all.

MochaMixAZ

I try never to come off as "mean" to newbies. But if I've seen the same person posting the same bad/dangerous info every day for 6 months, there's a good chance that my politeness is going to start to slip. My responses are going to get shorter and more to the point for starters, which is sometimes perceived as "mean" here.

What *does* often happen to newbies is that they come in, guns a'blazin', with a bunch of incorrect info that they have heard somewhere, and with which they're going to enlighten us. Most of the members who have been around awhile respond by saying that the info is incorrect, and the newbie feels ganged up on because of the sheer volume of responses. It's not that any one poster would have come off as mean, it's just that they're overwhelmed by how many people refuted their information.

What you described isn't being mean, in my opinion. I'm referring to those that snap at people just for asking a question they've heard before... or that just throw out an out of context response like "just lose more weight" without providing any helpful information... like explaining spot training isn't effective. I'm also not referring to folks that simply don't agree - that can be stated and your opinion shared without calling people names or belittling their efforts. And humor is just too easy to misconstrue in text... so sometimes legimitimate attempts at a funny response come across as very rude to the person that raised the question. But, boy, it sure is *fun* to call someone with their own perceived concern *whiny*... I'm sure it's very helpful to many. <---- because it's sarcasm, did that make that sound nicer?

But - this was a good read to distract me from work for a bit. I'm now going to take my whiny, over-sensitive, apparently incapable of being a useful member of society because I empathize with others-self back to work.

WendyTerry420

People on the internet are always crying out about how people would NEVER act this way in real life.

Which leads me to wonder, are those same people going around asking every mean person they meet face-to-face "Why are you so mean?!" Are these people acting the same way irl as they do here, continually upset and getting angry at the mean people they meet randomly on the street?

It's such a bizarre thought to entertain.

That would make a hilarious Youtube video!

eyeshuh

I always like to half-read these threads and look at the post counts of people that think that everyone here is mean, vs. the posts of people that are like "eh..."

And just so we're all clear, "bullying" on MFP = disagreeing and/or fact checking someone, even if it is based on your own personal experience.

^^ Yup. It is more or less true that all the people agreeing here are low post count people who don't visit the forums often or only do so to spread misinformation. The people who are on the forums a lot and try to post helpful information brush off the negative comments because they know better and/or know the difference between a negative comment and correcting misinformation.

Just about every "people are mean!" post in these forums really means "people disagreed with me!" This one is no exception.