Dating & dieting?

redraidergirl2009

Because I am a social person and I go out with my friends for "drinks" all the time - they drink, I don't. Why are you getting on my case?

No one is getting on your case, but be honest with someone. Sheesh. That's like if someone asked me to a club, I don't like clubs. Would I agree? No. I'd say I don't like clubs, can we do something else?

1ConcreteGirl

Nobody is "getting on your case." They're asking logical questions.

I agree that it would be odd to agree to go to drinks with someone and not tell them you don't plan to drink. When you were invited, you might have been more comfortable saying, "I'm not a big drinker, what about coffee?" Saves you this whole thread.

I am a social person and I go out with my friends for "drinks" all the time - they drink, I don't. Its not a big deal, I'd rather hang out at a bar than a coffeeshop, especially on a Saturday night. Have I explained myself to your satisfaction?

Honey, you are the one who started this thread, asking how you should deal with this issue, asking if people thought it might be awkward.

Please don't be offended when you receive opinions when you ask for them. That's both juvenile and unnecessary.

UrbanLotus

Because I am a social person and I go out with my friends for "drinks" all the time - they drink, I don't. Why are you getting on my case?

No one is getting on your case, but be honest with someone. Sheesh. That's like if someone asked me to a club, I don't like clubs. Would I agree? No. I'd say I don't like clubs, can we do something else?

BROKEN RECORD ALERT - I like going out for drinks. I do not know how to make this any more clear.

legnarevocrednu

Just try and eat less during the day to save up calories...and go to the gym in the morning. I have to get the hang of this as well!

UrbanLotus

Nobody is "getting on your case." They're asking logical questions.

I agree that it would be odd to agree to go to drinks with someone and not tell them you don't plan to drink. When you were invited, you might have been more comfortable saying, "I'm not a big drinker, what about coffee?" Saves you this whole thread.

I am a social person and I go out with my friends for "drinks" all the time - they drink, I don't. Its not a big deal, I'd rather hang out at a bar than a coffeeshop, especially on a Saturday night. Have I explained myself to your satisfaction?

Honey, you are the one who started this thread, asking how you should deal with this issue, asking if people thought it might be awkward.

Please don't be offended when you receive opinions when you ask for them. That's both juvenile and unnecessary.

I asked what I should say to him, didn't ask whether I should get in my time machine and change what I said to him initially. I also never said I didn't want to go there, or for judgments about my diet/lifestyle.

I'm not offended, I'm just having a hard time seeing why this is so hard to understand. I'm an adult, I don't need drinks to have fun, and I can go somewhere where everyone else is drinking and enjoy it - and I DO, often, out of choice.

redraidergirl2009

Nobody is "getting on your case." They're asking logical questions.

I agree that it would be odd to agree to go to drinks with someone and not tell them you don't plan to drink. When you were invited, you might have been more comfortable saying, "I'm not a big drinker, what about coffee?" Saves you this whole thread.

I am a social person and I go out with my friends for "drinks" all the time - they drink, I don't. Its not a big deal, I'd rather hang out at a bar than a coffeeshop, especially on a Saturday night. Have I explained myself to your satisfaction?

Honey, you are the one who started this thread, asking how you should deal with this issue, asking if people thought it might be awkward.

Please don't be offended when you receive opinions when you ask for them. That's both juvenile and unnecessary.

I asked what I should say to him, didn't ask whether I should get in my time machine and change what I said to him initially. I also never said I didn't want to go there, or for judgments about my diet/lifestyle.

I'm not offended, I'm just having a hard time seeing why this is so hard to understand. I'm an adult, I don't need drinks to have fun, and I can go somewhere where everyone else is drinking and enjoy it - and I DO, often, out of choice.

Then be honest with him.

strikerjb007

Newsflash: If dating and leading a healthy life is a problem, the problem is not the DATING. It's you. Saying you can't have both is just an excuse to get off the wagon.

Now go out there and have fun and stay within your goals.

Did I miss something here? I never said I can't have both, and I never said I wanted to get off the wagon nor was I looking for an excuse to get off.

Read my previous post. I know you want to do both. I was arguing that it is possible to do both and that one should not keep you from the other. Perhaps, I didn't explain myself.

Pkeenan1229

Get ice water as well. I read a tip where you should keep the wine on the side with the less dominant hand, and water in your dominant hand. (i'm right handed, so water in my right hand / on the right side of the table) I have a tough time with drinking too, and it DOES NOT get easier in a relationship when you're eating every meal with a guy who is unaffected by calories and has a supercharged metabolism!

another tip i like and when i do it is useful, is to eat an apple and drink 16oz of water before dinner or lunch. that way you're not ravenous to begin with! (fran drescher i think is who said that)

mmm vino Enjoy your date!

tallgirlshelley

I think upfront and honest with him is going to be best. I went on a first date this past weekend where I was on my second pint of beer and noticed, "this guy isn't drinking anything". I certainly didn't care, but he told me later that it's because he'd had a DUI recently. I don't hold that against him, but it would have just cleared the air if he had told me earlier, since we were meeting for "dinner and drinks".

As for the "get to your goal weight before dating" - at first I was a little peeved at this. But sometimes I wonder if it's really not the way to go! I've been on way too many first dates (even after explaining that I'm not a small girl) and then get that "meh. nevermind" reaction. I'm certainly not telling you to wait. I don't wait -still date whenever I can. I'm just pondering and wondering if maybe that wouldn't have saved me some heartbreak? lol Why do so many guys want a skinny Barbie type?

Aniwani1

OMG THIS!!!! Since I got out of a relationship where I was doing really well on my diet I find dating to be the biggest challenge sticking to my food plan... it's not just drinks, but really rich food, and dates always want to split deserts blahh Don't get me wrong makes for a good time but your pants do get tighter lol I feel like even when you try to not bring it up and eat light guys always comment on it somehow lol

araimond

Unfortunately I think it comes back to wanting to please the person you are out on a date with.

Do you have the same look of complete satisfaction and enjoyment when you put a forkful of romaine in your mouth or a decadent slice of chocolate cake?
I am not saying it right that guys equate food with happiness, but we are wired that way, our fat cells scream for joy when we eat sweet, salty & fatty food.
If the person you with can't respect your dietary goals though, then its time to move on because they are more interested in their needs than they are in yours...

Aniwani1

That's so hard though because it's a 1st impression scenario and who wants to honestly get into diet talk on a first day ...