The difference between being mean and having an opinion
SwimFan1981
Posts: 1,430 Member
in Chit-Chat
I woke up this morning to a lovely private message in my inbox, this message was entitled "limitations" and the content was "if you can't say something nice.....".
Although I normally find it entertaining to watch a seemingly innocent thread develop in to a "cyber space slanging match", lately the MFP forums have been awash with moaning, whining and an underlying defensiveness against people who have a different view or opinion. I often wonder how these people manage to exist in real life situations when faced with people who don't agree with them.
When did having an opposing view equate to "being mean"?
I don't know about you, but I love difference, different views, expressions and beliefs. It's what sets us apart and makes us interesting.
I replied with a typically British "piss off" and I hope the "lady" will learn to move on and not let opinions on an Internet forum wind her up so obviously that she feels the need to send a self-righteous, childish message.
Furthermore, why take everything to heart? Surely there are more interesting things to be occupying your time with than getting yourself upset over people you don't know and are unlikely to ever know on a WEBSITE!! Look how ridiculous it is, really....
Happy Friday!!!
:bigsmile:
Although I normally find it entertaining to watch a seemingly innocent thread develop in to a "cyber space slanging match", lately the MFP forums have been awash with moaning, whining and an underlying defensiveness against people who have a different view or opinion. I often wonder how these people manage to exist in real life situations when faced with people who don't agree with them.
When did having an opposing view equate to "being mean"?
I don't know about you, but I love difference, different views, expressions and beliefs. It's what sets us apart and makes us interesting.
I replied with a typically British "piss off" and I hope the "lady" will learn to move on and not let opinions on an Internet forum wind her up so obviously that she feels the need to send a self-righteous, childish message.
Furthermore, why take everything to heart? Surely there are more interesting things to be occupying your time with than getting yourself upset over people you don't know and are unlikely to ever know on a WEBSITE!! Look how ridiculous it is, really....
Happy Friday!!!
:bigsmile:
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Replies
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What? You're British? No way. Only Americans act 'mean' on the internet. You give me my stereotype back right now!
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It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.0
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What? You're British? No way. Only Americans act 'mean' on the internet. You give me my stereotype back right now!
:laugh: no way! It's mine, all mine!! Muhahahaha :mad:0 -
It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.
You could be as kind as humanly possibly and still manage upset someone....0 -
What? You're British? No way. Only Americans act 'mean' on the internet. You give me my stereotype back right now!
*snicker*0 -
I don't know, this site is full of whiners. I honestly don't know how these people exist. It's like trying to have a serious discussion with a bunch of cranky 6 year olds who have missed their nap time. Except most 6 year olds have a higher calorie goal and are generally cooler to hang out with.0
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I don't know, this site is full of whiners. I honestly don't know how these people exist. It's like trying to have a serious discussion with a bunch of cranky 6 year olds who have missed their nap time. Except most 6 year olds have a higher calorie goal and are generally cooler to hang out with.
This!0 -
People get narked when you point out the search function to answer the question that they and 50 other people have posted. AAAWWWWWWW you're so mean pointing out an easier way to answer a simple question.
You can sugar-coat an answer all you like but if you disagree esp on some of the more controversial topics you're mean - and often a bully. :grumble:
Some people just want to be offend.0 -
It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.
You could be as kind as humanly possibly and still manage upset someone....
You are right but there are some here who will intentually act mean for the fun of it. They seem to enjoy this at other's expenses.0 -
It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.
You could be as kind as humanly possibly and still manage upset someone....
This is VERY true. I have seen even the best though out counters get turned into back and forth accusations. Some people just can't stand being told that everything they were brought up believing is completely ****ing wrong and their parents should be hit over the head with a sledgehammer...even if that last part isn't really said.0 -
I don't know, this site is full of whiners. I honestly don't know how these people exist. It's like trying to have a serious discussion with a bunch of cranky 6 year olds who have missed their nap time. Except most 6 year olds have a higher calorie goal and are generally cooler to hang out with.
:laugh: Love it !!!0 -
It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.
You could be as kind as humanly possibly and still manage upset someone....
You are right but there are some here who will intentually act mean for the fun of it. They seem to enjoy this at other's expenses.
I have left a snarky comment here and there and I have been on the receiving end of a snarky comment or two, I just don't let it get to me, I just think "what a ****" and move on :laugh:0 -
I don't know, this site is full of whiners. I honestly don't know how these people exist. It's like trying to have a serious discussion with a bunch of cranky 6 year olds who have missed their nap time. Except most 6 year olds have a higher calorie goal and are generally cooler to hang out with.
This!
Oh yes. Gold star.0 -
Hi Swim Fan, I'd like to add you to my friend list, I like the way you think.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but should expressit in a way as to not try to impose it on everyone else. It should merely give others another way to look at things. We ALL feel our way is the best way and it is maybe, for US, not necessarilly for everyone else!!
But we hurt ourselves if we don't at least keep an open mind .
Basil0 -
It certainly is possible to have a different opinion and to express it in a kind way. But, it seems that most people here do not have the ability to do that. Snide remarks are all they are capable of. I feel it is a good idea to read over my responses before hitting "reply" and try to imagine how it sounds.
You could be as kind as humanly possibly and still manage upset someone....
This is VERY true. I have seen even the best though out counters get turned into back and forth accusations. Some people just can't stand being told that everything they were brought up believing is completely ****ing wrong and their parents should be hit over the head with a sledgehammer...even if that last part isn't really said.
I have absolutely nothing against being passionate, I'm a vegan and often find myself involved in never ending debates about it :laugh: there will ALWAYS be people for and against your opinion, it's just human nature...this is why I don't understand the need for constant whining...it happens in real life as it does here (probably a little more aggressive on here due to anonymity) but it is just a fact of life.0 -
1 - Any website / social network / whatever will always have it's fair share of trolls / keyboard warriors etc - you know morons. So it's a safe bet that we've all come up against them.
2 - A lot of the users on here are beginners. Their knowledge and experience in terms of nutrition and exercise is fairly limited and while they're asking a question some may have answered for the 50th time, to them it's the first time asking.
A lot are over weight ( myself included - obviously ), trying to make a change and using this site primarily as a support tool, as such, maybe a little sensitive to what they perceive to be brusque responses.
3 - Lack of context. While you might think you're being brief or direct or even a tad jokish, without face to face or voice communication often times the context or inflection of what you're saying can be mistinterpereted when it's read.
4 - Cultural or even language differences.
5 - Maybe they need to develop a thicker skin
6 - Maybe you're a ****
( see, I was joking there, but you might not have realised that if I hadn't pointed it out )0 -
Yeah have never got the whole getting annoyed at a post to the point of sending a private message or complaining about a post, its the same as tv programmes, bands, films etc. If you don't like it don't watch/read/listen to it.
Only pm i have sent as a response to someone in relation to argument on a thread was when they apologised in the thread in case had offended me, so I pm'd to say hadn't offended me, just had clearly differing opinions on the situation.
The one i don't get is when people post saying please look at my diary and tell me your opinion, then get annoyed at what peoples opinions are. Don't ask if you won't like the answer.0 -
No matter how you phrase something, someone will be offended, or even more annoying... someone will think of a way someone, somewhere in some far-fetched, highly implausible situation, could possibly be offended by it.
I once joked about a guy at a buffet who was wearing a fannypack (you don't see them very often these days), despite the fact he was wearing cargo shorts and a shirt with pockets and a jacket with pockets... I wondered what he could possibly need to carry that required so much storage space.
Most people played along just fine, suggesting he might be Inspector Gaget. But then, suddenly, I'm a heartless b-word who's mocking someone very ill in need of an organ transplant.0 -
Wow. People seriously PM others to scold them for their posts? People get WAY too invested in their butthurt. At the end of a thread that's pissed me off, I move on with my life...I can't imagine getting so hung up on a stupid MFP topic that I need to stalk and harass posters I disagree with. Too much drama!
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1 - Any website / social network / whatever will always have it's fair share of trolls / keyboard warriors etc - you know morons. So it's a safe bet that we've all come up against them.
2 - A lot of the users on here are beginners. Their knowledge and experience in terms of nutrition and exercise is fairly limited and while they're asking a question some may have answered for the 50th time, to them it's the first time asking.
A lot are over weight ( myself included - obviously ), trying to make a change and using this site primarily as a support tool, as such, maybe a little sensitive to what they perceive to be brusque responses.
3 - Lack of context. While you might think you're being brief or direct or even a tad jokish, without face to face or voice communication often times the context or inflection of what you're saying can be mistinterpereted when it's read.
4 - Cultural or even language differences.
5 - Maybe they need to develop a thicker skin
6 - Maybe you're a ****
( see, I was joking there, but you might not have realised that if I hadn't pointed it out )
Great response !!!!0 -
While I agree with your general sentiment, are you not also wound up yourself, as demonstrated by your posting this? I've received my share of hate mail so I'm not judging, but we all find offense in something. Perhaps a clarification is in order? Or you can just write if off and flame her in the threads. Oh wait . . .0
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Happy Friday! Unhappy people will always reveal themselvess.0
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1 - Any website / social network / whatever will always have it's fair share of trolls / keyboard warriors etc - you know morons. So it's a safe bet that we've all come up against them.
2 - A lot of the users on here are beginners. Their knowledge and experience in terms of nutrition and exercise is fairly limited and while they're asking a question some may have answered for the 50th time, to them it's the first time asking.
A lot are over weight ( myself included - obviously ), trying to make a change and using this site primarily as a support tool, as such, maybe a little sensitive to what they perceive to be brusque responses.
3 - Lack of context. While you might think you're being brief or direct or even a tad jokish, without face to face or voice communication often times the context or inflection of what you're saying can be mistinterpereted when it's read.
4 - Cultural or even language differences.
5 - Maybe they need to develop a thicker skin
6 - Maybe you're a ****
( see, I was joking there, but you might not have realised that if I hadn't pointed it out )
5 and 6 for sure :smokin:0 -
That made my day... its either whiners or the self deluded, superior "I am on a calorie counting website but do not count calories" *yawn*0
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Was this person Ramberta, by any chance? :laugh:0
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Was this person Ramberta, by any chance? :laugh:
Are you asking me? if so... no just a guy posting a massive long post about why he does not calorie count
what ever works for yoooh! 0 -
Was this person Ramberta, by any chance? :laugh:
Are you asking me? if so... no just a guy posting a massive long post about why he does not calorie count what ever works for yoooh!
No asking the OP, but I may have an idea who you are talking about as well!0 -
There is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a candy coated world where people ride unicorns and griffins and eat rainbows and poop glitter and butterflies. Oooh OP why you gotta be so meeean?? Bwah hahahahahahaa0
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While I agree with your general sentiment, are you not also wound up yourself, as demonstrated by your posting this? I've received my share of hate mail so I'm not judging, but we all find offense in something. Perhaps a clarification is in order? Or you can just write if off and flame her in the threads. Oh wait . . .
It takes a lot more than this to wind me up, I'm merely Interested in the logic and thought behind the reactions.
Edit - if I wanted to flame I'd use her name...I'm a poet 0 -
Now people are speculating about who this person might be.
If you tell them, you've done the wrong thing.
If you don't tell them, they'll be convinced they know who it is and be miffed at people for no reason.
The only solution is for you not to start this thread. Oh...0
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