Are you "unfiltered"?

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  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. I can be blunt, but I'm not completely unfiltered.

    If I said aloud every thought that went through my head I would have no friends and a broken nose. Not even because what I think is so horrible, though sometimes it is, but because my brain never stops and I'd never shut up.

    My husband thinks I already do that, but he loves me anyway. Or maybe because of it.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    My favorite quote that I saw recently is, "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." I've had friends who love me very much tell me painful truths for my own good, and I've had people who wanted to hurt me use the truth to do so. It's possible to be truthful in all things, but brutality is never necessary.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I remember when I was younger, being treated poorly by the people my mother brought into my life. So, I went to my mother, mistakenly thinking that possibly there was a chance our relationship could be repaired. I told her what was going on and how I felt about it and asked her to speak to her friend (since it was her friend and I did not actually choose to be friends with her). Now, in this particular experience the friend was bringing up my past trauma and speaking to me about it rudely and she was also calling me fat (I weighed 100 pounds and had six pack abs). So, my mother went to her and said, "You just go right ahead and continue being yourself. Ignore my daughter's oversensitivity". Then I asked her if she had talked to her friend and she said, "Yes, I did" and told me what she had told her. Her friend felt that she was "not a *****, but just an open, honest person that tells it like it is". The problem is that sometimes people have serious personal issues, and they are wrong, and they take their issues out on other people, but they are completely unaware of it and they view all opposition as meaning that people can't take their honesty. Because in their world they are always right and can never be wrong because they are the best and most awesomest. So, I learned a lot from that experience, and I do understand where you are coming from. It's kind of like when you meet a guy and he's a total jerk and people say that he just makes a bad first impression, but eventually you will see that deep down inside he is an ok guy. But, what they really mean is that he's a d!ck and eventually you learn to tolerate it. It's narcissism.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Yeah, that "I have no filter!" or "I'm brutally honest!" stuff is code for "I'm a prick".
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"
    I am heavily filtered. Heavily.

    Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of insensitivity of some of the thoughts that pass through my brain. I'm glad I have enough sense to keep them there.

    That's not to say I am not truthful. I don't think honesty and filtered are mutually exclusive.
    This is what I was thinking when I read this post. If I was as unfiltered as my thoughts I'd be jobless, friendless, and my kids would hate me. Also many of the thoughts I may have initially I find are not what I'd consider my best thoughts, because anger, sleep deprivation, annoyance, etc it all plays into your emotions and how you think... But I agree that some people deserve brutal honesty.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Yep, "unfiltred". I call it as I see it. While I try to be tactful, sometimes I'm not. I have no use for political correctness. PC has gotten way out of hand. The good thing is that when it comes to people, ya know where you stand with me. The bad is...........see previous sentence.

    So.... do you have many friends?

    Some people appreciate honesty.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"

    "Some say beer will make you dumb... it are go good with pizza!"
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    Beer?
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"
    I am heavily filtered. Heavily.

    Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of insensitivity of some of the thoughts that pass through my brain. I'm glad I have enough sense to keep them there.

    That's not to say I am not truthful. I don't think honesty and filtered are mutually exclusive.
    This is what I was thinking when I read this post. If I was as unfiltered as my thoughts I'd be jobless, friendless, and my kids would hate me. Also many of the thoughts I may have initially I find are not what I'd consider my best thoughts, because anger, sleep deprivation, annoyance, etc it all plays into your emotions and how you think... But I agree that some people deserve brutal honesty.

    Some people do deserve it, but how does one know that it is their place to give it?
    Now, I won't lie, I wish I could have a little less of a filter sometimes, I worry about other peoples feelings to a fault, actually stayed in my marriage about 4 years too long because I'm a big 'ol coward and afraid to hurt other peoples feelings. Maybe that's why I just can not understand the people who have no consideration for whether or not they are hurting someone else.
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
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    Reminds me of when someone says "at least s/he's honest" as if that's some big accomplishment. Honesty is expected. It should be a given. You don't get special points for being honest.

    An honest a$$hat is still an a$$hat.

    You can be polite and genuine at the same time. It's absolutely possible.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
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    More like Uncensored in my case :wink: :laugh:
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Oh, see? Here is where I screwed up...I used the word, "unfiltered," in my blog to basically say, "hey, y'all...there may be swear words in here." I didn't use it in the context that if you read my blog, prepare to be totally offended because I don't give a fat rat's @$$ whose feelings I hurt. That's not unfiltered. That's just rude, but I'm old fashioned. :smile:

    So to answer the original question? Am I unfiltered? No. But you will find swear words on my blog. :blushing:
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    i am me.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
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    My son who is autistic has no filter. He does not understand why you can't say the truth and what you're thinking to other people. He also lacks sensitivity and empathy and doesn't understand social norms.

    He's autistic.

    People who are just mean, rude, and brutally honest piss me off when they claim they're just "unfiltered". You can filter yourself. You choose not to.
  • susanmc31
    susanmc31 Posts: 287 Member
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    Filtration is akin to refinement.

    So when someone says they are unfiltered, they are essentially saying they are unrefined.

    They are unrefined and they know it. They could strive toward greater refinement but settle for crass vulgarity.

    It's a scandalous state of affairs and reflects rather poorly on our cultural as a whole, if you ask me.


    NOTE: This post has been edited to correct typographical errors and to add that I'm so fancy that I poop into a tophat.

    Very well said!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    doesn't that just mean your rude, disrespectful and don't think about anyone other than yourself?
    Semantics.
    Agreed. Generally, when people accuse someone else of being "unfiltered" what they mean is "that person doesn't filter the way I do."

    Those claiming the "unfiltered" label for themselves are likely just looking for a badge to justify being obnoxious or harsh - or possibly are afraid of how an honest, direct opinion might affect the opinion of someone they care about.

    We all filter to some degree, whether through manipulation/power/gain or a desire for love/acceptance/community. If we were 100% unfiltered, we'd have zero human relationships and probably be locked up in a room with no windows.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    Some people do deserve it, but how does one know that it is their place to give it?
    Now, I won't lie, I wish I could have a little less of a filter sometimes, I worry about other peoples feelings to a fault, actually stayed in my marriage about 4 years too long because I'm a big 'ol coward and afraid to hurt other peoples feelings. Maybe that's why I just can not understand the people who have no consideration for whether or not they are hurting someone else.
    People can argue whether or not a person can really make the decision to offer brutal honesty or not. In my experience when brutal honesty is offered up people who are your true friends, or those that YOU FEEL deserve it, the friends stay and you might get a round of applause from people for telling someone they needed to check themselves.

    Example, I was walking behind some guy into Rite Aid Pharmacy, I WAS RIGHT BEHIND HIM. He walked through the door, and was not on a cell phone or otherwise occupied completely coherent and functioning... I think, and let the door slam in my face. So I said,
    "Thanks for letting the door slam in my face."
    He didn't skip a beat and goes "Oh, just because you're female I'm suppose to hold the door for you?"
    My reply, "No, because I am a HUMAN BEING, you should have held the door for me." Now if I was really crass I'd have added in an " ***hole somewhere.

    Also you prove that being nice and filtering yourself doesn't mean good things, like you said you stayed with someone for four years because you were nice. Four years is a lot of your life to sacrifice to someone because you don't want to hurt their feelings. It's all perspective.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"

    "Some say beer will make you dumb... it are go good with pizza!"
    Did you know my car is a piece of CRAAAAP!!! ;)
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I try to be kind to people but I also have kind of a quirky personality that most people find weird, I used to filter some of that out so people would like me better but I found that unfulfilling. So I embrace my unfiltered weirdness and figure if someone doesn't like it they're not good for me anyway. :smokin:

    I think the people OP are talking about are just attention seeking, though.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I am an extremely honest person, but in my experience honesty also involves intelligence and taking time to really think about things, process them, think them through, determine if something is in fact true or not before just spouting it out, pass it through many filters of understanding and what you have learned over the course of your life before you can determine the truthfulness of what you are saying and where it is coming from. Honesty requires self reflection, not mindlessness (because it is impossible for a person's every single first thought to always be correct). Being "unfiltered" could just mean lazy. But, from reading this thread, I see that some people have a different definition of what this all means (it is not my intention to insult anyone. People are more filtered than they realize)

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