Folks with daughters....

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  • grdnr03
    grdnr03 Posts: 547 Member
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    Thanks for speaking up!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know, I know you are trying to do the right thing here, and hindsight is 20/20... but there were lots of other things you should have done other than post this experience on the internet.

    Personally, I would have laid his *kitten* out when he grabbed the girl by the wrist. I would have at least followed him out of there and made sure I brought him to the attention of security.

    I hope, at the very least, that you reported the incident to management so that they could keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously. Odds are, he is there often.
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    wow that is creepy
  • KWake1
    KWake1 Posts: 154 Member
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    As somebody's daughter, and a mother of one, THANK YOU!

    You did two things there. 1: Got a young impressionable girl away from a creep (biggest yay!) 2: Helped that girl learn that ditching your friends for a guy is NOT a grown up thing to do. I know 2 is completely besides the point, but I just felt that needed pointing out as well. This creep's desire to tell her, "being a grown up means talking to guys", completely negates the whole, "being a strong woman who has solid friendships" thing.

    Back to #1 though. What you did there? Just awesome :)
  • irishguns
    irishguns Posts: 53 Member
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    Thank you for standing up for them and helping her exit the situation when she should have. My daughter is only 6 but I get comments like "you're going to have to keep a gun around" and it bothers me because I think of situations like this.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    It is a really messed up world out there.
    My niece was raped from age 2 to 7 by the guy my sister paid to watch her.
    My best friend's niece was raped and murdered, and left in the woods to rot (RIP Amanda Lankey)
    One of my former co-workers is in prison... a repeat offender. He had three years worth of video tapes of him raping is granddaughter, from infancy to three years old.

    This stuff has hit me so close to home, so many times, my daughter does not leave my sight unless she is with my mother or her day care lady (whom I have a very close relationship with- I know she's safe there). My father-in-law gives me crap about being over-protective... too freaking bad.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    Would NEVER let my girls in a mixed situation like this, to begin with.
    And for a woman, (and especially a naiive girl), for a man to show interest in her is a TEMPTATION. Sorta parallel temptation as for a man to see/look at a woman.
    In age-appropriate terms, I have already begun such topics with my girls. I want my girls to be able to interact with the opposite sex in an appropriate and respectful way, and to know when something is not right/okay.
  • vb4evr
    vb4evr Posts: 615 Member
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    I applaud you sir for stepping in, my daughter is only 3 but I already worry about things like this and it does make me feel good that there are people that would step in from bottom feeders like this. I am not sure if I could have restrained myself to talk in your shoes though.....
  • lu136mickey
    lu136mickey Posts: 202
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    good job for stepping up, and letting that creeper know you were on to him
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I will say that you did a good job.


    I will be leaving this thread now, because I know it's going to turn ugly.
  • for2day
    for2day Posts: 209 Member
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    I thank you for being there!!! It's so scary to think that this stuff happens, but it does and it is rare to hear of someone stepping in, like you did. There needs to be more people out there like you - again THANK YOU!!!!
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I would never allow my scantily dressed young teen daughter to sit in a steam room with strangers!

    I'm not so sure their parents even knew. Our Y has a lot of great activities for kids. There are many kids who come straight from school and hang out. They swim, workout, play with the XBox kinect, play pingpong or pool. Today was a holiday and there was no school. These girls could have just said they were going swimming, or their parents may have been at work.

    I don't think it's what's allowed or forbidden as teens will do what they feel is appropriate despite the rules, sometimes. They need someone to talk with them about the signs of predatory behavior and how to deal with it when they see it.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    As somebody's daughter, and a mother of one, THANK YOU!

    You did two things there. 1: Got a young impressionable girl away from a creep (biggest yay!) 2: Helped that girl learn that ditching your friends for a guy is NOT a grown up thing to do. I know 2 is completely besides the point, but I just felt that needed pointing out as well. This creep's desire to tell her, "being a grown up means talking to guys", completely negates the whole, "being a strong woman who has solid friendships" thing.

    Back to #1 though. What you did there? Just awesome :)

    actually 2 is not besides the point because today it's gym's and older members, tomorrow it will be nightclubs/parties/college nights and guys they meet there. Couple of times i had to insist that a new "friend" not leave me at a club alone cause she wanted to go home with a guy she just met. To me it was like yeah i like this guy too but I'm just gonna exchange numbers and take it from there, no need to separate? (and endanger ourselves). Girls need to have some hard and fast rules as they get older and start venturing out. I think you told her something she needed to know and I hope she took it to heart.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    holyyy craaaap some freaking people out there...
  • Mumbles83
    Mumbles83 Posts: 626 Member
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    i would have put my foot in his face !
  • JAGgirl47
    JAGgirl47 Posts: 70 Member
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    Scary. The guys sounds like a serious predator - especially alarming that he went so far as to try to get the other girl to stay. I hope your fitness center keeps an eye open for him
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    It is a really messed up world out there.
    My niece was raped from age 2 to 7 by the guy my sister paid to watch her.
    My best friend's niece was raped and murdered, and left in the woods to rot (RIP Amanda Lankey)
    One of my former co-workers is in prison... a repeat offender. He had three years worth of video tapes of him raping is granddaughter, from infancy to three years old.

    This stuff has hit me so close to home, so many times, my daughter does not leave my sight unless she is with my mother or her day care lady (whom I have a very close relationship with- I know she's safe there). My father-in-law gives me crap about being over-protective... too freaking bad.

    That's one of the reasons I intervened. I had a niece who was molested by her stepfather and her step uncle. Her mother knew they were both convicted offenders, and still let them babysit her. Heck, she let them throw a birthday party for her with a bunch of her friends, and showed them porno flicks. My brother didn't find out about it until years later, and he sued for and got custody. It was too late though and the damage was done.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    This is serious. I hope you reported the guy to the management as people like that should have their membership revoked. This happened to me at a Gold's gym when I was about 16. Same thing. I was with a friend and we were working out, in the steamroom where there was a creepy older guy (probably 40's or 50's but not a good judge of age at that time). He kept flirting and invited us to go have a drink with him in his hotel room nearby. We got up and left.

    I belong to the Y, along with my 12 yr old daughter. We were told when signing up that she can go pretty much anywhere she wants on her own because it's safe and there are staff everywhere. I tend to be a more protective type of parent and I don't just accept that kind of statement blindly and use my common sense. But the fact is that the Y promotes a "safe" atmosphere and I'm sure many parents will let down their guard accordingly. Things like that should be reported immediately, and I actually hope the Y cautions parents to watch their kids. These days it seems predators are more balsy and plentiful.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Personally, I would have laid his *kitten* out when he grabbed the girl by the wrist. I would have at least followed him out of there and made sure I brought him to the attention of security.

    I hope, at the very least, that you reported the incident to management so that they could keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously. Odds are, he is there often.

    I did tell the front desk. There is no security per se. They hire a bunch of high school and college aged folks to run this place. I gave a description, but don't know how well he would be recognized in the future. I'll be looking for him though.
  • brendddda
    brendddda Posts: 33
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    It is ironic that you posted this a week after another MFP user asked if she overreacted at the gym when she was in a similar situation.

    The thread link does not appear to work but here is part of the OP's post:

    "I went to a new gym for the first time today and was swimming and sharing a lane with a girl of about 14 or 15 and we chatted a bit. She was obviously in training and her coach was there. When she got out her coach sent her to the hot tub which is in a separate room with a closed door and she was going to be alone with 2 older men."

    Some people told the OP she was overreacting by sitting in the hot tub and talking to the girl, and a few men were offended:

    "Ok, so it is wrong for us men to feel slighted for being perceived as sexual predators, but perfectly ok for a woman to feel uncomfortable when choosing to go sit in a hot tub that was already being occupied by two men. Logic."

    Hindsight bias makes it clear in the OP's situation (in this current thread) it was the right thing to do to intervene. OP, thank you for posting this to show people that there IS a reason to be wary. No, not everyone is a sexual predator. But with 1 in 4 women being raped, it can't hurt to be cautious.

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