Folks with daughters....

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  • Fat_Jimi
    Fat_Jimi Posts: 81
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    Mate you definatly did your good deed for the day

    what a tool that guy was
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    It is ironic that you posted this a week after another MFP user asked if she overreacted at the gym when she was in a similar situation.

    The thread link does not appear to work but here is part of the OP's post:

    "I went to a new gym for the first time today and was swimming and sharing a lane with a girl of about 14 or 15 and we chatted a bit. She was obviously in training and her coach was there. When she got out her coach sent her to the hot tub which is in a separate room with a closed door and she was going to be alone with 2 older men."

    Some people told the OP she was overreacting by sitting in the hot tub and talking to the girl, and a few men were offended:

    "Ok, so it is wrong for us men to feel slighted for being perceived as sexual predators, but perfectly ok for a woman to feel uncomfortable when choosing to go sit in a hot tub that was already being occupied by two men. Logic."

    Hindsight bias makes it clear in the OP's situation (in this current thread) it was the right thing to do to intervene. OP, thank you for posting this to show people that there IS a reason to be wary. No, not everyone is a sexual predator. But with 1 in 4 women being raped, it can't hurt to be cautious.

    I don't see the irony at all. In this situation there was a creeper. In that situation there were two regular men who were simply existing (frankly much like the OP was in the same room as the girls here). I hope you are able to distinguish the two.

    And way to go on attempting to hijack a good thread where the OP demonstrated sound judgment.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Personally, I would have laid his *kitten* out when he grabbed the girl by the wrist. I would have at least followed him out of there and made sure I brought him to the attention of security.

    I hope, at the very least, that you reported the incident to management so that they could keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously. Odds are, he is there often.

    I did tell the front desk. There is no security per se. They hire a bunch of high school and college aged folks to run this place. I gave a description, but don't know how well he would be recognized in the future. I'll be looking for him though.

    I misread your initial post. I thought you were telling the story as a more passive observer. I'm sorry if I seemed a little harsh. Thank you for looking out, and definitely stay on that. Predators are everywhere.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    what the hell? what a creep!

    i have a lot of experience with this. i worked at a destination resort from the time i was 15 until i went off to college (18). i encountered a LOT of creepers and at first, i didn't know how to deal with them. i don't know why some men think it's "okay," to talk to young girls in that manner, but it's really not! i've had men try to buy me alcoholic drinks when i was 15, try to get me to come to their hotel room, ask me to go on overnight cruises, etc when they KNEW how old i was. one guy even offered to lie to my dad (who was picking me up from work) and say that i was being offered an internship with his company so that i would start sleeping with him on the weekends. blah! it's really sick and inappropriate. i hope young women have enough common sense and self respect to avoid getting themselves into compromising situations.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,179 Member
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    It is ironic that you posted this a week after another MFP user asked if she overreacted at the gym when she was in a similar situation.

    The thread link does not appear to work but here is part of the OP's post:

    "I went to a new gym for the first time today and was swimming and sharing a lane with a girl of about 14 or 15 and we chatted a bit. She was obviously in training and her coach was there. When she got out her coach sent her to the hot tub which is in a separate room with a closed door and she was going to be alone with 2 older men."

    Some people told the OP she was overreacting by sitting in the hot tub and talking to the girl, and a few men were offended:

    "Ok, so it is wrong for us men to feel slighted for being perceived as sexual predators, but perfectly ok for a woman to feel uncomfortable when choosing to go sit in a hot tub that was already being occupied by two men. Logic."

    Hindsight bias makes it clear in the OP's situation (in this current thread) it was the right thing to do to intervene. OP, thank you for posting this to show people that there IS a reason to be wary. No, not everyone is a sexual predator. But with 1 in 4 women being raped, it can't hurt to be cautious.

    I don't see the irony at all. In this situation there was a creeper. In that situation there were two regular men who were simply existing (frankly much like the OP was in the same room as the girls here). I hope you are able to distinguish the two.

    And way to go on attempting to hijack a good thread where the OP demonstrated sound judgment.



    Was going to respond with almost the exact wording.



    To the O.P. great job. we need more people that will step in when they see this type of behavior.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    All I have to say is that in this situation, I am very glad you were there. I am glad there are more men like you in this world than men like him. But you are right. Teaching daughters (and even sons) to be wary of predators is very important.

    Thank you for being there.


    This^^ i agree you're great :)
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
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    It is ironic that you posted this a week after another MFP user asked if she overreacted at the gym when she was in a similar situation.

    The thread link does not appear to work but here is part of the OP's post:

    "I went to a new gym for the first time today and was swimming and sharing a lane with a girl of about 14 or 15 and we chatted a bit. She was obviously in training and her coach was there. When she got out her coach sent her to the hot tub which is in a separate room with a closed door and she was going to be alone with 2 older men."

    Some people told the OP she was overreacting by sitting in the hot tub and talking to the girl, and a few men were offended:

    "Ok, so it is wrong for us men to feel slighted for being perceived as sexual predators, but perfectly ok for a woman to feel uncomfortable when choosing to go sit in a hot tub that was already being occupied by two men. Logic."

    Hindsight bias makes it clear in the OP's situation (in this current thread) it was the right thing to do to intervene. OP, thank you for posting this to show people that there IS a reason to be wary. No, not everyone is a sexual predator. But with 1 in 4 women being raped, it can't hurt to be cautious.

    I don't see the irony at all. In this situation there was a creeper. In that situation there were two regular men who were simply existing (frankly much like the OP was in the same room as the girls here). I hope you are able to distinguish the two.

    And way to go on attempting to hijack a good thread where the OP demonstrated sound judgment.

    Exactly - in his case, the op reacted appropriatley because something happened. In the older thread, the OP thought something might happen simply because there were men present.....

    In fact if the man in this thread hadn't ben present, it could have been a lot worse...
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
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    Just make sure that your kids know that there are some creepy predators out there, and teach them how to resist. It really irked me that this guy appealed to the girls desire to be grown up, and used that as a tool to try and get friendly with this girl.

    grrrrrrr.

    Thanks for relaying that incident. There are indeed some very creepy predators out there.
    You should be congratulated for saving that girl from an awful experience.
  • Lucendiluna
    Lucendiluna Posts: 21 Member
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    As the others have said, thank you for noticing this situation and stepping in.
    I was in a lot of creepy/similar situations when i was that age (not THAT long ago!) and even though my parents told me how to react and I always defended myself, I still to this day feel creeped out when thinking about it. Having an adult nearby reacting as you did is an instant assurance for the girls that their gut feeling is right, that they should indeed get the hell out, and it feels good for them to realize they reacted as an adult would have :)
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I have three daughters. I would have stood up as soon as the other man got inappropriate and asked him leave the sauna room. If he didn't, I would help him to the door. Then, once the girls were safe, I would have reported him.

    I realize that such actions may be cause for legal action, but, I would do it for my daughters, for your daughters or or any person that was uncomfortable in a similar situation. And, if someone stepped in and came to the aid of my daughter and faced legal action, I would post his bail and pay for his attorney.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Thanks for the post: I have 3 grown up daughters and an empty nest. Even then I worry about them. World stats state than 1 in 3 women will be sexual abused. That is horrifying .....
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    i was gonna send you a link to the topic "did i overreact at the gym today" but it won't come up. unsure if that means it's deleted.

    but here is this one

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864976-father-brings-his-daughter-into-the-men-s-locker-room?hl=4+year+old+in+men's+locker&page=14#posts-13030644

    clearly gym's need to rethink the amenities they provide and whether they are coed or not and age limits. the whole thing seems to be making people uncomfortable in many ways.

    Please. There is a huge difference between taking YOUR very young child into a locker room with you and a grown man being inappropriate with two teen girls. Not even close!
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    As a former teenage girl I'm fully aware of all the creeps in the world and have pretty much seen it all. I wish my mother would have discussed this more with me though so I could have better handled situations like this.

    If it were me, I would have spoken up on behalf of the girls and also reported the creep.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,691 Member
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    WOW. I would have reported him anyways and I don't think I could have sat there while he grabbed her. You just do not do things like that.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
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    That's some messed up stuff. Way to be quick on your feet Kevin!
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    In the south we would of stomped a mudhole in em and walked it dry. Just sayin....

    Because I'm a single full time dad and had a guy follow my daughter back to me in a mall one day and she was 10 at the time. I wasn't but a few aisles over but I scared the crap outta that guy.

    Way to do the right thing brotha.


    Z, the protective daddy
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    I have a 9-year old daughter and *kitten* like this is my nightmare.

    Good for you for saying something.
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
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    i was gonna send you a link to the topic "did i overreact at the gym today" but it won't come up. unsure if that means it's deleted.

    but here is this one

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864976-father-brings-his-daughter-into-the-men-s-locker-room?hl=4+year+old+in+men's+locker&page=14#posts-13030644

    clearly gym's need to rethink the amenities they provide and whether they are coed or not and age limits. the whole thing seems to be making people uncomfortable in many ways.

    Please. There is a huge difference between taking YOUR very young child into a locker room with you and a grown man being inappropriate with two teen girls. Not even close!

    The "did I over react" thread was about a coach who sent a girl in to a hot tub with two adult men and didn't supervise her. The OP was concerned and watched out for the girl and then got attacked on the forum for it. I can never state loudly or clearly enough. Never trust any one with your child. If you want to know why I feel this way pm me, or just take my word for it. OP THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! If I could hug you I would.:flowerforyou:
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
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    as a dad with a daughter , well done sir
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
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    I have three daughters. I would have stood up as soon as the other man got inappropriate and asked him leave the sauna room. If he didn't, I would help him to the door. Then, once the girls were safe, I would have reported him.

    I realize that such actions may be cause for legal action, but, I would do it for my daughters, for your daughters or or any person that was uncomfortable in a similar situation. And, if someone stepped in and came to the aid of my daughter and faced legal action, I would post his bail and pay for his attorney.

    THIS!!!!!!!!

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