"you have such a pretty face"
Replies
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I have never been bothered by this...I get it lots. The older I get the more I like to hear it! As others have said, take it as a compliment and have a wonderful day!
Maybe they genuinely think you have a lovely face.0 -
People say dumb stuff in an effort to be consoling. Ignore.
You could always whip around and say to the offender, "Pretty is only skin deep, but stupid and mean go to the bone."
Or you could be the stupid and mean one saying that to someone giving a genuine compliment.
As you will. But I think what the OP was getting at was the unspoken BUT that tends to follow "You have such a pretty face."
I think anyone who believes that is being overly sensitive. I looked at the OP's photos and she does have a pretty face. Why make it more than it is?
Don't think I am. The OP seemed to be bothered by it; that's why she posted. *shrug*
Well, I mean, you suggested giving an insult in return for a compliment, so yeah that does seem kind of overly-sensitive as far as that goes.
It sounded like she took it as an insult. Again, I shrug. I am not particularly sensitive, so stuff like that comment wouldn't bother me much. But is sounds like the OP was hurt by it. And I've heard a lot of people say they are bothered by a comment like that. Who knows if the person who said it was giving an actual compliment or being condescending? Do you really care what I think?
It's not a matter of caring what you personally think. It's the matter of an epidemic of sensitivity, insecurity, and/or projection taking over for manners. Instead of, "Thank you!" for a compliment, we now get "Tell them that they can't change their meanness!"0 -
I'd be pretty happy to have someone say something so nice to me. Not enough compliments going around the world these days. (Plus you do have a pretty face. What's wrong with that? Parade it around!)
Hey, you have a pretty face:flowerforyou:0 -
OMG you are freaking tall!
yeah I think I'd rather hear
"you have a pretty face"
the former: you're a freak
the latter: you are beautiful
hmmmm.....0 -
This unspoken "but" that people keep mentioning is just a projection of your own lack of self-confidence on what is otherwise a lovely compliment. The person didn't have to say anything, but they found you SO beautiful that they felt compelled to tell you. That's pretty cool.
People tell me all the time I have really nice eyebrows. I don't assume it's because that's the ONLY redeeming quality they can find on my face. I know it's because I kick *kitten* at tweezing.0 -
I never got that compliment. Nor others.
I think you should accept it to mean someone thinks you look pretty. Faces are what people are generally drawn to.
And you have a pretty face too :flowerforyou:0 -
at least it's not "oh, you're actually quite pretty, aren't you?"
now THAT's a knife to the chest.0 -
This unspoken "but" that people keep mentioning is just a projection of your own lack of self-confidence on what is otherwise a lovely compliment. The person didn't have to say anything, but they found you SO beautiful that they felt compelled to tell you. That's pretty cool.
People tell me all the time I have really nice eyebrows. I don't assume it's because that's the ONLY redeeming quality they can find on my face. I know it's because I kick *kitten* at tweezing.
Agree100%
Well said.0 -
It's not a matter of caring what you personally think. It's the matter of an epidemic of sensitivity, insecurity, and/or projection taking over for manners. Instead of, "Thank you!" for a compliment, we now get "Tell them that they can't change their meanness!"
The OP referred to this comment as a knife to the chest. Whether she was being overly sensitive or not, I cannot say. But it clearly bothered her, for whatever reason.
Do I think we should respond with snark to all compliments? No, I don't. But I know I am not the only one who, if given a what I perceived as a backhanded compliment, would respond with snark. And my reading of the OP's comments was that she was hurt and offended and detected condescension, ie she interepreted the comment as her pretty face was her only redeeming value. I responded with a smart *kitten* comment. Because smart assery does sometimes work in those situations. Sometimes it backfires. But again, to each her own.
Notice I never said I took it as an insult.0 -
People tell me all the time I have really nice eyebrows. I don't assume it's because that's the ONLY redeeming quality they can find on my face. I know it's because I kick *kitten* at tweezing.
And I kick *kitten* at applying Chanel Perfect Brow! (Sometimes. Unless there were too many cocktails consumed. Then...not so much.)0 -
Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
The problem is its condescending. - Im sure you get this all the time- After all the effort you put in- If someone said "oh you have such a pretty face" Sort of like someone saying "you have a butter face- everything hawt but her face"
Now they said you were hot! Take a freaking compliment!
or should I say you should take what you can get? Because thats something else im hearing- I dont like that either.
Ive gotten this before- but I shut them down right away. Im like nah man- its all hot the face just puts a bow on it. Or I work hard to look this good- you best acknowledge the rest of it. Unless it's elderly people- I just am like- Oh thank you. So if you're old you get an exception to my shut down.
and for the people who say- should they say nothing at all- YES they should say nothing at all. Believe it or not- It is completely optional that you approve of my face. I want it all or I want nothing
Maybe Im ungrateful and greedy- but I wouldnt be investing this much time in self reconstruction if I wasn't. Im not grateful to "take what I can get" Im not grateful with the body I was given. Im not grateful for your pity compliments. 9x out of 10 it means you want to do a good deed for the day. And I am NOT grateful to be your good deed for the day.0 -
Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
Yes, this! I'm thin and would love to be told I have a pretty face. Never happens.0 -
How about this one:
"Oh, but you could be so pretty if you lost weight!"
gee... thanks...
Along the same lines- I hate when people say that as well. I ask to borrow their glass ball- for powerball numbers.0 -
OMG you are freaking tall!
yeah I think I'd rather hear
"you have a pretty face"
the former: you're a freak
the latter: you are beautiful
hmmmm.....
One of my best friends is 6'5 and she'd get told she was "freaking huge" - which she wasn't - all the time. When we were drunk we'd tell them they were ugly. When we were sober we'd just tell them they were rude.
I've always been told that I have an amazing smile. From my husband, to a random old man at a fast food join, to the UPS guy, to the poor cop that showed up at my door for a loud noise complaint one time. I never took it as anything other than my having a striking smile. Does it mean that the rest of me isn't pretty? I don't think so, but then thanks to taking compliment as compliments I actually have pretty good self esteem.0 -
People tell me all the time I have really nice eyebrows. I don't assume it's because that's the ONLY redeeming quality they can find on my face. I know it's because I kick *kitten* at tweezing.
And I kick *kitten* at applying Chanel Perfect Brow! (Sometimes. Unless there were too many cocktails consumed. Then...not so much.)
Ha ha, I had someone tell me that my eyebrows looked great! It was an odd but nice thing to say.
I was also told that I looked like a retired model, I also took that as a compliment! I could have picked it apart and tried to figure out if there was a hidden meaning but I CHOSE to see the POSITIVE. Thinking this way makes life a lot easier.0 -
OMG you are freaking tall!
yeah I think I'd rather hear
"you have a pretty face"
the former: you're a freak
the latter: you are beautiful
hmmmm.....
As a woman who is ~ahem~ vertically challenged, I am totally guilty of saying stupid things like "Wow are you tall!!" And I always (ALWAYS!) mean it with total reverence. I would love to be like 5'10". Seriously.0 -
Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
The problem is its condescending. - Im sure you get this all the time- After all the effort you put in- If someone said "oh you have such a pretty face" Sort of like someone saying "you have a butter face- everything hawt but her face"
Now they said you were hot! Take a freaking compliment!
A guy told me I have pretty eyelashes one time, back when I was overweight. I took it as a compliment, but now looking back, was he calling me fat??0 -
It all depends on how the phrase is spoken.
When i was younger we had a neighbor who was just all sugar and venom. She is the kind of cruel person who would look at another woman and say "Oh, you have such a pretty face" with such a pitying expression and nasty little smile it was absolutely clear she thought it was a shame "such a pretty face" was wasted on such a fat slob of an ugly body. Sure, you could blame the recipient of those statements for hearing the innuendo and being hurt by it, but hey. Some people can be just mean, and a lot of mean people like to play passive aggressive little games to make them feel powerful and to rip other people down.
And then my grandmother, bless her, was the kind of woman who would look at an awkward teenager or a young woman who was looking a little insecure and she would smile and say "Oh, you have such a pretty face" and she would mean it just as spoken.
It's all in the tone.
OP, i'm sorry if someone said something dumb to you - whether they meant it to be hurtful or if they just accidentally pushed a button trying to be kind. Whatever your motivation, Go you with the keeping up on the gym and everything else you're doing!0 -
soon you will have a pretty face with a killer bod
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A guy told me I have pretty eyelashes one time, back when I was overweight. I took it as a compliment, but now looking back, was he calling me fat??
Or maybe you have pretty eyelashes. 0 -
How about this one:
"Oh, but you could be so pretty if you lost weight!" gee... thanks...
YES- *exactly* how i feel when i hear this. i hate it 0 -
Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
Yes, this! I'm thin and would love to be told I have a pretty face. Never happens.
Well it has now ... You have a pretty face 0 -
I love hearing this because when I get to goal I will have a pretty face and a hot body. Score. 0
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I've pretty much stopped giving compliments to women. Because they have been twisted around too many damn times that I might as just well insult them.
I think you're pretty.... No you don't you think I'm fat.
WTF0 -
some people got a little fired up over this... didn't expect that.
it is the unspoken "BUT...." that bothers me. And when "you have such a pretty face" comes from a guy that you've just started talking to (and like), yah, i heard a "BUT"..... i don't think i'm overly sensitive for being a little bothered by this. i'm not sitting here crying about it, it bothered me and i posted. i was using it as an example of something that motivates me to keep going, working toward my goal. and yes, i suppose my self esteem could use some improvement, but i also tend to think i'm more realistic, not just down on myself. i realize my shortcomings. i don't necessarily find that as negative. but, valid point...
anyway, i don't necessarily think it was said with malice, but it did hurt. it always hurts.
on another note-- i would like to say thank you for all the wonderful things people said tho- they were so wonderful to hear and i'm truly appreciative!0 -
if someone told me i had a pretty face i would take it as a compliment...0
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I used to be very thin and I was always told ''You have a great *kitten*'Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
Yes, this! I'm thin and would love to be told I have a pretty face. Never happens.
What? Is that supposed to make me feel good?!
Even on my wedding day the best I got was, ''Your dress looks lovely'' My husband said 'Your nails look nice'!!
Just accept it as a complement, lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!0 -
I hated that or guys who try to talk to you and start out with Big Sexy or you're pretty to be a big girl. However it is a compliment like someone said u can lose weight but u cannot lose an ugly grill.0
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, lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!
No. Let's not go there, k? Body shaming is body shaming, regardless if you're talking about a skinny, fit, or fat person.0 -
, lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!
No. Let's not go there, k? Body shaming is body shaming, regardless if you're talking about a skinny, fit, or fat person.
True.0
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