"you have such a pretty face"
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OMG you are freaking tall!
yeah I think I'd rather hear
"you have a pretty face"
the former: you're a freak
the latter: you are beautiful
hmmmm.....
Haha! This! I live in Japan and as a 5'10" female, I get this ALL. THE. TIME.
But for the OP, I understand if you have problems taking compliments. But I feel that (most) people wouldn't go out of their way to say it if they meant it as an insult. Just like when I hear "Wow you are so tall" or "You have such pretty hair", I don't think it detracts from my overall looks. I just say thank you and go about my tall, pretty-haired day
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some people got a little fired up over this... didn't expect that.
it is the unspoken "BUT...." that bothers me. And when "you have such a pretty face" comes from a guy that you've just started talking to (and like), yah, i heard a "BUT"..... i don't think i'm overly sensitive for being a little bothered by this. i'm not sitting here crying about it, it bothered me and i posted. i was using it as an example of something that motivates me to keep going, working toward my goal. and yes, i suppose my self esteem could use some improvement, but i also tend to think i'm more realistic, not just down on myself. i realize my shortcomings. i don't necessarily find that as negative. but, valid point...
anyway, i don't necessarily think it was said with malice, but it did hurt. it always hurts.
on another note-- i would like to say thank you for all the wonderful things people said tho- they were so wonderful to hear and i'm truly appreciative!
It's not realistic to think there's always an "unspoken but" though. That's the thing; you said you weren't even sure the compliment was told with malice, but it still hurt.
That sounds like you know they intended it as a positive compliment, but added on the "but" internally.
If it "always hurts," that's a signal that you might be viewing more shortcomings of yourself then there are. I used to be the, "I'm just being real; I'm bla bla bla," but I *wasn't*. I had a skewed perspective of myself, I perceived things around me incorrectly, etc.0 -
Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
Never looked at it that way...Agreed.0 -
I got told that a lot when I was very heavy. It didn't really irritate me or hurt my feelings, but those were times when I was pretty numb. (During my second marriage.)
Once my ex's uncle, who is long since deceased, told me that it was a shame I was so fat, because I had a pretty face and would be good looking if I were thinner. I said, "yeah? Well. I can lose weight, but you're ugly and mean, and there's no fixing that."
He told on me. My mother-in-law and husband were up in arms that I was so rude her brother. But hey. Whatever.0 -
I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)0
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knife.to.the.chest.
just got told this and reminded why i keep going to the gym. this is what keeps me going. i NEVER want to hear that again.
Heard this 1 billion times. Not as bad as "you'd be as pretty as your sister if you lost weight"0 -
I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)
You have a pretty face!0 -
LOL at least you got a compliment a stupid one I agree. I guess my ugly fat face matches my ugly fat body.0
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amen!0
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I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)
You have a very pretty face 0 -
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thirded...... or it least its very hard and painful and expensive to change your face lol
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hahahaha love this0 -
We are so in the same boat!0
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OMG; it happened!
Thanks. haha0 -
Looked through your picture, I believe you are Gorgeous from headddd to toee! 0
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For God's sake take it as a compliment. I don't get what's bad about it?!0
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You need to learn to take a compliment. The only appropriate response, even if the person is actually being nasty, is "thank you." Anything else makes you look like the jack***, not the person giving the compliment. And don't let a self esteem issue destroy potential relationships (romantic, friendships, even professional) upon a first meeting. Say "thank you" and move on. Heck, maybe even return a compliment.
And, while we're on the subject, you're going to start getting loads of compliments as you lose weight so focus on this now. It's just life. People, for the most part, enjoy being nice.0 -
I understand what you're saying. I've heard many attractive,overweight women say they've received the compliment and feel the same way. Just try to take it as a positive and think how smokin' hot you'll be when you feel more confident with your body.
It can be hard to take a compliment when you don't feel confident. Someone can say "You have nice hair" and all you hear is "But everything else about you sucks!!!!!"
The thing is, there are other people who don't accept a generic "You're so pretty" compliment and want specifics. So everyone is just screwed no matter WHAT they say! :laugh:0 -
some people got a little fired up over this... didn't expect that.
it is the unspoken "BUT...." that bothers me. And when "you have such a pretty face" comes from a guy that you've just started talking to (and like), yah, i heard a "BUT"..... i don't think i'm overly sensitive for being a little bothered by this. i'm not sitting here crying about it, it bothered me and i posted. i was using it as an example of something that motivates me to keep going, working toward my goal. and yes, i suppose my self esteem could use some improvement, but i also tend to think i'm more realistic, not just down on myself. i realize my shortcomings. i don't necessarily find that as negative. but, valid point...
anyway, i don't necessarily think it was said with malice, but it did hurt. it always hurts.
on another note-- i would like to say thank you for all the wonderful things people said tho- they were so wonderful to hear and i'm truly appreciative!
It's not realistic to think there's always an "unspoken but" though. That's the thing; you said you weren't even sure the compliment was told with malice, but it still hurt.
That sounds like you know they intended it as a positive compliment, but added on the "but" internally.
If it "always hurts," that's a signal that you might be viewing more shortcomings of yourself then there are. I used to be the, "I'm just being real; I'm bla bla bla," but I *wasn't*. I had a skewed perspective of myself, I perceived things around me incorrectly, etc.
^This.
You like a guy who likes looking at your face. I'd say that's off to a pretty good start. :flowerforyou:0 -
You like a guy who likes looking at your face. I'd say that's off to a pretty good start.
Really we should end the discussion with that brilliant observation. (Meant sincerely. No sarcasm.)0 -
, lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!
No. Let's not go there, k? Body shaming is body shaming, regardless if you're talking about a skinny, fit, or fat person.
I wasn't 'body shaming' anyone. It was in quotes because it has been said to me when I was a lot younger. Along with ''nice body, shame about the face'' Yeah, people actually say things like that to you.
What about all the posts saying '' You can fix fat, you can't fix ugly' . That sure made me feel good about myself. ( That was sarcasm btw)
Thanks for understanding.0 -
Better than what I got "when are you due"......that's hard to take as a compliment.....it's just a sock in the gut!0
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Take it as a compliment.
You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.
The problem is its condescending. - Im sure you get this all the time- After all the effort you put in- If someone said "oh you have such a pretty face" Sort of like someone saying "you have a butter face- everything hawt but her face"
Now they said you were hot! Take a freaking compliment!
or should I say you should take what you can get? Because thats something else im hearing- I dont like that either.
Ive gotten this before- but I shut them down right away. Im like nah man- its all hot the face just puts a bow on it. Or I work hard to look this good- you best acknowledge the rest of it. Unless it's elderly people- I just am like- Oh thank you. So if you're old you get an exception to my shut down.
and for the people who say- should they say nothing at all- YES they should say nothing at all. Believe it or not- It is completely optional that you approve of my face. I want it all or I want nothing
Maybe Im ungrateful and greedy- but I wouldnt be investing this much time in self reconstruction if I wasn't. Im not grateful to "take what I can get" Im not grateful with the body I was given. Im not grateful for your pity compliments. 9x out of 10 it means you want to do a good deed for the day. And I am NOT grateful to be your good deed for the day.
Wow.
I guess a compliment isn't just a compliment anymore.0 -
never mind...0
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Maybe Im ungrateful and greedy- but I wouldnt be investing this much time in self reconstruction if I wasn't. Im not grateful to "take what I can get" Im not grateful with the body I was given. Im not grateful for your pity compliments. 9x out of 10 it means you want to do a good deed for the day. And I am NOT grateful to be your good deed for the day.
Wow.
I guess a compliment isn't just a compliment anymore.
Im glad you got the core message of what I was saying... >.>
A compliment is great- but it's pretty obvious when someone is saying it because you're fat.0 -
Agreed0
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