WOMEN and cooking.
Replies
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i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.
I have been dating recently. A lot. And I guess for the last 4 years, I will say that the answer is NOT much. lol. I know I am being very general but this is my experience and I can only talk about the things I find over and over. I noticed that most single women I meet don't cook at all. Don't know how they survive. I cook a lot so it has never been a problem. I also clean. I was raised by a military father so yeah no mess in my house.
Anyway, I don't know what has happened in the last 10 years but I find that men are doing most of the cooking nowadays. I asked my married friends if their wives cook and the answer is always: "HELL NO." I remember dating this girl a few years ago and coming over to say hi around dinner. She was eating some peanuts and I asked if she was gonna have dinner. She looked at me and said that was dinner. I said, cool and left.
I remember growing up and loving my Mom's food. That is gone for this generation. I find that most men and women don't bother to learn the cooking and those traditions are lost. If I ever have kids, I know my kids are not going to say: "I love my mom's cooking...." Different times I suppose.
Now, I am sure this is not always the case, but that has been my experience for the last 4-5 years. When I really want a girl to cook for me(it is nice when someone does it for you every now and then), I can always count on some of my Spanish girl friends. Most of them cook.0 -
In 2013,people do what works for them. My ex would never be the bread winner of the family. I make far more money than he did. I love to cook, but he had a few recipes until his belt he could whip up, so he cooked some nights. But, he was an absolute slob, and that royally ticked me off. I worked as hard as he did at my job, came home and cooked, and his lazy *kitten* would just sit in front of the tube and make a mess around himself. Clean up your *kitten*! I'm not your mommy.
Finally dumped his lazy *kitten*. My house looks better for it, and I couldn't be happier. I think men have an unrealistic expectation of women. It used to be that women did all the dometic work, and men were out there working or hunting bears.
Now that women work, men STILL expect every aspect of life to be handled by a woman. We cook, clean, work at our professions, and raise the children, be the bread winners....no thank you. If a man can't "be a man" by being a responsible adult in my house, there's no way in hell I'm going to be both a wife and mommy to him.0 -
Sometimes.
My husband has a gluten intolerance and a dairy allergy. We have both agreed I should not have to give up gluten and dairy. So.....sometimes I cook things we can both eat. Sometimes we make our own meals. (And usually when he cooks I don't eat it - it's yummy food, but he reverts to a lot of staples like rice and sweet potatoes, which are high in carbs....and I'm type 1 diabetic so I try to limit carbs somewhat).0 -
in that case teach women how to choose :PI like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:
The important thing is that it is your choice and you're not just doing it because that's what's expected! Making choices = good!
I... don't even know how to respond to such blatant sexism.0 -
TRUTH be told finally , women dont give a shyt anymore (our generation) , its ALL about the man spoiling the woman. Women just want want want and think they can give us sex and we satisfied? not me , the reason u in a relationships is because u care and love one another . SHOW IT .
i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.
I have been dating recently. A lot. And I guess for the last 4 years, I will say that the answer is NOT much. lol. I know I am being very general but this is my experience and I can only talk about the things I find over and over. I noticed that most single women I meet don't cook at all. Don't know how they survive. I cook a lot so it has never been a problem. I also clean. I was raised by a military father so yeah no mess in my house.
Anyway, I don't know what has happened in the last 10 years but I find that men are doing most of the cooking nowadays. I asked my married friends if their wives cook and the answer is always: "HELL NO." I remember dating this girl a few years ago and coming over to say hi around dinner. She was eating some peanuts and I asked if she was gonna have dinner. She looked at me and said that was dinner. I said, cool and left.
I remember growing up and loving my Mom's food. That is gone for this generation. I find that most men and women don't bother to learn the cooking and those traditions are lost. If I ever have kids, I know my kids are not going to say: "I love my mom's cooking...." Different times I suppose.
well said0 -
I do 99% of the cooking in our house.
My hubby has very basic skills that means id get pasta or something can can be shoved in the oven.0 -
My ex liked to cook - but it all tasted the same, a Garlic version of whatever
His workmates prefered when I cooked
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I cook every night for my fiance...I don't see a problem with it. I'd stay at home, make the babies, do the laundry, cook and clean, and have fresh baked pies waiting if I could lol...
I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:
In an ideal world I want to be a 1950s housewife (without the kids) and spend my day cooking, making house and knitting. Will never happen mind you!
Me and my boyfriend live separately at the mo, but share cooking when we're at each others houses, he cooks for me quite a lot. I'd expect a sharing when we live together too!!0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Right or wrong, there are many places, and many couples, where this is simply not feasible - both incomes are needed just to get by, to pay for necessities, rather than the luxuries you decry.
Also, what about situations where both partners have careers they enjoy, and have worked hard to achieve? By your logic, one of them should give up that part of themselves to be at home with the children (assuming they have any). As someone raised by two loving, working parents, with the assistance of various nannies etc over the years, I can informedly say that it is far better for children to have two happy, fulfilled parents, working at careers they enjoy and which contribute to their identity, and the energy and interest of other adults who enjoy spending time with children, than to be cared for by someone who is miserable, bored and resentful of the sacrifice (of their career, their time, their energy, their ambitions) made to fulfill an 'ideal' of a home-making parent - which is not to suggest that all homemaking parents feel this way, but rather that many career-oriented adults would feel that way should they feel compelled to stay at home because of an ideal, rather than a vocation.0 -
I cooked for my (now ex) bf until he complained that it was too healthy & he didn't want to eat this way, that he wasn't used to it, etc.
Then I let him fend for himself. Since every week, I'd ask him what he'd want so I wouldn't bored him with the same meals (I can do repeat meals easily - I don't get sick of it lol). Never gave me ideas/suggestions.0 -
Do you cook for your man? whats your views on it? im not against women, honestly couldnt live without them but ill face the facts and admit im a SHOCKING cook and can barely stomach my own food . Not like i have a Choice
For my former betrothed (arranged marriage) - throughout my teenagehood: I'd cooked, I'd served and I'd crawled.
For my former fiance (cross-cultural) - in my young 20s: I'd cooked, I'd hosted soirees and the like for him and his, I'd accommodated much of how and what he'd wanted, ... Then(x)ed >> Exited.
As a mature woman, I'd have to say that it's entirely preferential-based/motivated - from a personal vantage point, to the woman. Some of us just do - habitually/culturally-influenced.
Edited to add: Cooking for me - is therapeutic. Loved it, when I'd started with my late Dad (gourmet style); Homestyle comfort flaired cooking with my Mum; Colonial-esque - French/Dutch/British cooking with my late maternal grandmother and without a doubt, outdoor wild vegetables and fresh kills cooking with my late maternal grandfather - my introductions to the joys of cooking ... For certain, It has been a life-lifting adventure for me with my sister, having absorbed entirely "alien" cultures as our very own, added to our introductory cooking repertoire.0 -
We all eat separate meals in my house because I don't eat meat except for fish and eggs and hubby hates rice. I cook for the kids when he isn't home and he eats my food if there isn't anything else and he is hungry. My food is much healthier than his. He has been baking bread for the kids and making homemade pizza for them. I do not eat gluten or processed cheese since it isn't vegetarian so that leaves me out. I don't mind cooking. I prefer to cook my own food because I am so particular on what I can eat and how I like it. The kids like what I make them most of the time. I love my fruits and veggies. It doesn't take much to prepare them.0
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I love cooking, and especially cooking for people.0
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I do the cooking, and I quite enjoy it. I love getting compliments on my meals.0
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Cooking can be a two way street. Both people in the relationship can cook!! I love to cook. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach! :P0
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tisk hes taking advantage , wish i would get asked what i wantI cooked for my (now ex) bf until he complained that it was too healthy & he didn't want to eat this way, that he wasn't used to it, etc.
Then I let him fend for himself. Since every week, I'd ask him what he'd want so I wouldn't bored him with the same meals (I can do repeat meals easily - I don't get sick of it lol). Never gave me ideas/suggestions.0 -
exactly i mentioned this earlierCooking can be a two way street. Both people in the relationship can cook!! I love to cook. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach! :P spot on 0 -
i think its still safe to say that women care about men in that aspect , u know what they say " The way to a mans heart is through his tummy"
Nope...it's definitely faster to saw through the breastbone.0 -
^ nope not for a woman , she must cook its easier0
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Cooking for your man/woman and family is the most loving gesture. I am a very accomplished cook and enjoyed the reactions of my family and especially my husband after an amazing meal. My husband always proposed to me when I hit one out of the park. He say--Hey are you married, I would love it if you would be mine forever. And I am his forever....
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very romantic!Cooking for your man/woman and family is the most loving gesture. I am a very accomplished cook and enjoyed the reactions of my family and especially my husband after an amazing meal. My husband always proposed to me when I hit one out of the park. He say--Hey are you married, I would love it if you would be mine forever. And I am his forever....0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Right or wrong, there are many places, and many couples, where this is simply not feasible - both incomes are needed just to get by, to pay for necessities, rather than the luxuries you decry.
Also, what about situations where both partners have careers they enjoy, and have worked hard to achieve? By your logic, one of them should give up that part of themselves to be at home with the children (assuming they have any). As someone raised by two loving, working parents, with the assistance of various nannies etc over the years, I can informedly say that it is far better for children to have two happy, fulfilled parents, working at careers they enjoy and which contribute to their identity, and the energy and interest of other adults who enjoy spending time with children, than to be cared for by someone who is miserable, bored and resentful of the sacrifice (of their career, their time, their energy, their ambitions) made to fulfill an 'ideal' of a home-making parent - which is not to suggest that all homemaking parents feel this way, but rather that many career-oriented adults would feel that way should they feel compelled to stay at home because of an ideal, rather than a vocation.
My point was directed toward those that choose to live lavishly, not the couples in situations that require double incomes or in single parent homes.
That being said a couple that chooses to love their vocation more than their children should not have had children. There is no other way to say it. If an individual needs to work to feel a sense of self-worth then they are not putting their children first. In the example you gave of your own childhood i would point out to you that your parents should have been the ones giving you the love and affection that you received from a caretaker. Of course there are situations where this may be the best option considering the circumstances but it should not be what a couple actually tries to do. It sounds shameful to think that a parent would send their child to be essentially raised by someone else just so they can live a life that is self-centered and/or materially focused instead of understanding the value and self-worth that could come from being a good parent.0 -
A woman should cater to their man and in return the man should treat her like a queen!!!0
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best answer yetI'm a man. She cooks for me very well. And I her. Not something either of us see's as a job for the other - we enjoy looking after each other.
Agreed. My job is to provide for the family. My wife's job is to take care of the family. It works well. That said, i do some of the cooking because I enjoy it, particularly making pancakes on the weekends. Honestly, I think one of the biggest problems I see in marriages is a lack of a genuine desire to take care of each other and too much worry about what someone's "proper" roll is, be it a feminist or traditional ideology. The family relationship is about love not ideology or agendas.0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.0
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Do you cook for your man? whats your views on it? im not against women, honestly couldnt live without them but ill face the facts and admit im a SHOCKING cook and can barely stomach my own food . Not like i have a Choice
I cook and bake for my hubby and take great pride in that. Always trying new recipes of my own or from cookbooks/websites. I send treats to his work all the time.
Sadly, finding women that love to cook is not as common as it used to be. I take pride in my domestic skills0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.0 -
Another "look at me I'm single thread"
:yawn:0 -
I love to cook and do so 6 nights out of 7. He can cook but I am so OCD that if I started something I get irked when he tries to come in and touch it!! lol
On his days off he will get dinner started for me which I do love but I honeslty dont mind cooking for him or the kids :smooched:0
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