WOMEN and cooking.
Replies
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"look another attention seeker"Another "look at me I'm single thread"
:yawn:0 -
He literally has two recipes that he makes.
1.) "crack" pasta (basically pasta salad)
2.) no-bake cookies.
This is not a joke. I don't know how he survived as a bachelor except for ready-made foods and pizza0 -
i have only had one woman to cook for me. I for some reason dated either those too busy career women or women who cant cook. It sucked cause the one woman who cooked for me was not a good cook
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great stuff! keep the fam happyI love to cook and do so 6 nights out of 7. He can cook but I am so OCD that if I started something I get irked when he tries to come in and touch it!! lol
On his days off he will get dinner started for me which I do love but I honeslty dont mind cooking for him or the kids :smooched:0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.0 -
My husband and I both have full time jobs, so we split the responsibilities. He cooks pretty much every night, I only do some of the time. I do most of the cleaning. He will put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher, but that is about the extent of his cleaning. Without him, I would probably starve haha.0
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My girfriend does most of the cooking and cleaning and I make the money. I can cook, and do when I'm not working but other wise , she takes care of the house. I guess you could say we fill conventional roles a bit unconventionally.0
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He works from 230 PM to 830 PM so I do all the cooking in my house. Honestly, though, I do most of it on the weekend and through the week we reheat. I'm a pretty damn good cook.
Now, as soon as it's warm enough out for grilling and beer, he'll do that quite a bit.
This works for me unless I'm doing all the cleaning too. I like cooking, but if I'm going to spend hours slaving over the stove I expect to sit on my *kitten* and watch someone clean up the mess.0 -
My husband and i both cook. We both enjoy it. We kind of switch off cooking right now because we are both very busy and the person who gets home first usually cooks. Sometimes our 16 yr old daughter will even get dinner started if I ask nicely lol. Personally I think learning to cook is a skill everyone should know, and my kids will all know how to cook pretty decent before they move out.0
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Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.
You have no right to judge what other people do in their own homes and their with their own, legitimate, choices. I have plenty of friends where both spouses work at professional, high paying and demanding jobs. Their children are very well taken care of by nannies who the parents hire and make sure are plenty qualified to do their jobs. It is not our choice to live this way, but I have friends who do this, and know plenty of people who were raised this way, and they're fine human beings and incredibly well educated.0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.
Please go back and read the forum rules and learn to debate in a courteous manner. You are being rude and it's unnecessary.0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.
Your point of view is exceedingly subjective and judgemental. It is not a choice between being a "good parent" and both parents working . . . my house hold has 2 great parents and both my husband and I work outside the home. Home management is a very rewarding job, I wish I could do it, but I'm the primary bread winner in my home. My husband and I discussed if he wanted to do it and he doesn't. We choose to pay about $1000 per month for our son to have half day child care because my husband is not a early development educator and doesn't want to be. We manage to have a son who is exceedingly happy, well socialized, well mannered, smart, loving, adventurous, respectful, and just the right mixture of independent while still relying on us . . . if the goal is something different I'd be surprised. So you can keep your judgy mcjudgerson attitude and stick it where the sun don't shine.0 -
I'm single right now but when I have a boyfriend I tend to spoil him with food. I cook every night for my kids and make sure to make extra to bring to my partner. Not to brag, but I'm a pretty awesome cook. It's partly why I got so chubby. :P0
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I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.
You have no right to judge what other people do in their own homes and their with their own, legitimate, choices. I have plenty of friends where both spouses work at professional, high paying and demanding jobs. Their children are very well taken care of by nannies who the parents hire and make sure are plenty qualified to do their jobs. It is not our choice to live this way, but I have friends who do this, and know plenty of people who were raised this way, and they're fine human beings and incredibly well educated.
I never said kids could not be raised well be other cartakers. That is insane. My point is that parents should be the ones doing it. Paying someone to raise your kids is not parenting, it's paying a bill.
And forum rules are not relevent. Hotmail gives free email address out so it does not matter.
Oooo tough guy on the internetz . . . lol0 -
Sorry I'm married to a chef (retired now) but why would I cook? I cook for him on special occasions (I CAN cook) but he's retired and I am NOT....so he usually cooks. Again, I CAN and DO....just not often (hey maybe I will today, it's his birthday); I did the dishes for him :bigsmile: He was very happy.0
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Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.0 -
He mostly cooks for the kids on the days I work in London otherwise we would not be eating till 8pm at night.
I adore cooking so always do when we are entertaining. Hate cooking for my own children as can spend hours cooking and then get this when we sit down at the table 'don't like that' [sigh] my response is 'if you don't like it don't eat it there is nothing else to eat'
Prefer cooking for a more appreciative audience.
So in summary we share the cooking.0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.
lol........now that's funny. : )0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.
Yea, quite a few of my ivy educated friends do this. It's funny that someone is complaining about it.0 -
Do you cook for your man? whats your views on it? im not against women, honestly couldnt live without them but ill face the facts and admit im a SHOCKING cook and can barely stomach my own food . Not like i have a Choice
And with comments like that you will never have a choice.0 -
Thanks for that Dr.phil
tool0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.
But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.
Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.
Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.
I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.
It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.
You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.
Edited to fix quotes.
You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.
I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.
I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.
Your point of view is exceedingly subjective and judgemental. It is not a choice between being a "good parent" and both parents working . . . my house hold has 2 great parents and both my husband and I work outside the home. Home management is a very rewarding job, I wish I could do it, but I'm the primary bread winner in my home. My husband and I discussed if he wanted to do it and he doesn't. We choose to pay about $1000 per month for our son to have half day child care because my husband is not a early development educator and doesn't want to be. We manage to have a son who is exceedingly happy, well socialized, well mannered, smart, loving, adventurous, respectful, and just the right mixture of independent while still relying on us . . . if the goal is something different I'd be surprised. So you can keep your judgy mcjudgerson attitude and stick it where the sun don't shine.
In the situation you mentioned i would have to say to things.
1.) your husband is choosing to work. At least i think that it what you said.
2.) I guess i was thinking more along the lines of full time caretakers, not those that utilize a half day kind of a system. A few hours is not the same thing as having someone else raise your kids for you. I guess i could have made that point more clear.0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.
Yea, quite a few of my ivy educated friends do this. It's funny that someone is complaining about it.
Just because someone is well educated does not make them a good parent.0 -
Cooking is a learned skill; it is not some gender-specific inborn ability. When two people work,they need to divide the home tasks equally. However they do it is irrelevant.0
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Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.
Yea, quite a few of my ivy educated friends do this. It's funny that someone is complaining about it.
Just because someone is well educated does not make them a good parent.
Neither does having strong and rudely expressed opinions make someone correct0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.
Yea, quite a few of my ivy educated friends do this. It's funny that someone is complaining about it.
Just because someone is well educated does not make them a good parent.
Neither does having strong and rudely expressed opinions make someone correct
Or incorrect0 -
I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
Seriously? Just....seriously? Your mind is obviously made up - as is your archaic judgement - but you obviously don't have even the slightest grip on what being a woman means and how it plays into their lives. Not to mention privileged, as is in your world, every woman with children can afford to stay home and are choosing friviously be terrible parents. (As if denying their children of basics such as food and shelter, through contributing to the household income, is such a positive thing to strive for.)
Logically, I knew people like you still existed. Intellectually, it absolutely floors me that someone could be so far into their denial of modern progression as to scorn others who have, quite happily, strode into the 21st century.
Also, the most important job for me, personally, is NOT to have children. I would be a terrible mother, though not for any of the reasons you so proclaimed. The idea that you would want me to achieve my "ultimate status" through doing what would be truly irresponsible is nothing short of insanity.0 -
In the situation you mentioned i would have to say to things.
1.) your husband is choosing to work. At least i think that it what you said.
2.) I guess i was thinking more along the lines of full time caretakers, not those that utilize a half day kind of a system. A few hours is not the same thing as having someone else raise your kids for you. I guess i could have made that point more clear.
I'm not certain what it is about you that makes you feel entitled to judging others for their parenting decisions, but I hazard you against this frame of mind. If there is one thing that I learned by having parents, being a parent, and debating with other parents it's this:
Parenting is a series of choices, what we're discussing here is just one decision in the way you run your household and just one parenting decision. You can go ahead and judge someone for their decision, but you make parenting decisions as well and not everyone is going to agree with the decisions you make. When you judge others you open yourself for judgment, I'd rather accept the non-detrimental decisions of others and have them accept mine because we all do things right and we all make mistakes. At the end of the day, no matter how the child is raised, they will become an adult and make their own decisions as to the person they are at the end of the day. You want to just make sure that they are given enough tools to have a positive impact on the society around them, as long as you do this then you're doing it right.
As far as my husband, he made a choice to be a great dad (which he finds rewarding) and continue to work with teenagers (which he finds rewarding). We are not exclusively parents, we are also adults who need to have our independent personalities and reward systems. He finds his job rewarding, I offered him the opportunity to do something different, but he finds this too rewarding. Last year when his brother died I was glad that he had made this decision because he would have just isolated himself, but having obligations outside of the home helped to keep him going. Someday our kids grow up and move out of our homes and at that time the two people left behind have to have enough of themselves to still be whole.0 -
My man does all the cooking.
He cooks, I do the dishes. The other chores get split evenly.
Works well for us.
I could burn water, so it's a good thing he can cook.0
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