Husband doesn't like my body?

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  • teamdj1
    teamdj1 Posts: 265 Member
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    Become fit and healthy for YOU. Doing it for someone else is a recipe for failure.

    Also, stop trying to read your husband's mind. Just because a man is strongly attracted to a certain body type doesn't mean he is automatically repulsed by all others. Give the guy a little credit, and give you both a break! You're imagining all sorts of scenarios that most likely exist no where but within the distorted funhouse mirror that is your own low self-esteem.

    Just breathe. Focus on why you want to be healthy. Move forward, step by step. Let everything else fall into place.

    ^^^^^^^^This. It is how you feel. Don't let others stop you. Yes he is your husband but you have to make yourself happy first. Stay strong. We like what your doing. :happy:
  • Briko3
    Briko3 Posts: 266 Member
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    Even if you had the body type you 'think' he wants, do you think you would still have it in 20 years? People don't marry eachother because of some ideal body type. The ones that do don't stay married for long.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
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    That is just silly.... I guess if I designed my perfect man physically he would be about 6'4, 250lbs, dark brown hair, Blue eyes, slightly olive skin, muscular but still soft around the edges...............

    but am currently dating a hard bodied muscular 5'9 , a 6'1 swimmers body , and an artistic/naturally athletic 6'0 .......and find them ALL attractive.

    You can have a type but true attraction comes from personality/chemistry/energy.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
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    just break up !
  • 3RachaelFaith3
    3RachaelFaith3 Posts: 283 Member
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    Why would you think that first of all? And if he is married and loves you and is faithful to you, he loves EVERYTHING about you. Small or big, short or tall. Would like more information to help if I can >.<

    I was thinking the same thing.... Why do you think that? Some info is missing here.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    tumblr_matqk0C7iN1r4ev56_zps93b2c219.gif
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Well, you can't change your body type. So, hopefully your marriage is based on more than body type.
  • moustache_flavored_lube
    moustache_flavored_lube Posts: 849 Member
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
    Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

    :laugh: I'm sure he never looks at other girls. This why secrets are kept that lead to much bigger issues.
  • Smoni2008
    Smoni2008 Posts: 30 Member
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    For bettor or worse..Huh..Sounds like he has forgotten that promise. Transform your body for you Hun not your husband. Misery loves company. I am married and my husband and I work out and motivate each other. That's how it should be in my opinion. Ijs
  • nikki1704
    nikki1704 Posts: 4
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    listen you are the one hes with. I know the feeling my x did that and i didnt like it because these girls are skinny as hell with this big boobs and big butts, i only have big boobs because of my weight and my butt is not where it use to be. remember that this is for you and he can look but he cant touch! Talk to him maybe that would help you in the long run, voice your concerns with him maybe he can help clear things us! i hope that somewhat helps!
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
    Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.


    Your finance has NO female friends and doesn't look at other women, ever.........What does he do at work? Ignore them all?? Hells teeth! What a trust filled relationship you have.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    If he compliments you, believe him.

    Flaunt yourself for him every chance you get. Wear pretty things and flirt with him throughout the day. If you act like you believe you're attractive, you'll believe it eventually. I moped and complained about my body, but how attractive is that attitude? Now that I'm doing something to improve my body, I feel more confident, and that attitude seeps into the rest of my life. The flaws are still there, but they don't negate what my body is capable of, and they certainly don't set restrictions on my husband's love and attraction to me.
  • MissySchwab
    MissySchwab Posts: 529 Member
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    great info and advice!
  • moustache_flavored_lube
    moustache_flavored_lube Posts: 849 Member
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    my_body_is_a_wonderland_t_shirts-rbc460ab9b8df4753af2466041a90051d_804gs_512.jpg
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

    Here's what I was going to say...my husband comes in the room all the time as I'm getting dressed. It's hilarious because I run and lock the door quick like a bunny on *****cat feet & secretly giggle like an *kitten* when he stops dead almost smacking his nose on the door when he realizes it's locked :laugh: omg! and then the meek knock on the door asking to come in :flowerforyou: I'm terribly mean to him cause if I were a little girl on the playground, he'd put gum in my hair every time he saw me :love: his words, not mine :smooched:

    The truth is, I don't let him see allllll the time, but I do let him catch me even though I feel like a baby beluga & likely look like one too :blushing: I can't tell you how funny this is to me:laugh: The beauty of not icing him out every time is he never knows when it's coming :bigsmile:

    You hide your body from your husband? That sounds more sad than hilarious to me. If you can't feel beautiful and secure in front of your spouse, where could you?
  • Change_is_Good_
    Change_is_Good_ Posts: 272 Member
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    tumblr_matqk0C7iN1r4ev56_zps93b2c219.gif

    *swoon*

    Sorry completely un-related
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    "he majority of men you'll meet will have some lady friends within their social network. It doesn't mean he wants or fantasizes or thinks about these women. "

    that reminds me of Harry Met Sally.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJz1f8hPRGc

    OP: Take it from me, start to love your body cause the world already beat you to it. And, that means you have to love it for all its flaws & wonders.
  • lawandfitness
    lawandfitness Posts: 1,257 Member
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
    Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

    Wow. You sound extremely controlling.

    There are always going to be other women out there, some of these women may work with your fiance, some may want to be friends with your fiance (assuming he is a person worth being friends with). There will always be women who are more beautiful, have better hair/skin/eyes, are thinner and more attractive than you. Unless you are Charlize Theron, somebody will be more beautiful than you.

    My partner works around women that are absolutely beautiful. He is friends with some women who are so stunningly goregeous it almost hurts to look at them. On top of that a few of them are the most sweet, kind, and just plain freaking nicest people. One in particular is also a FANTASTIC cook. I am not bothered one bit by his friendships with them.

    Why? Because he made a choice to be with me. Out of all the women he knows and is friends with, he knows or has met, he chose me to be with. Could it be my super curly hair and death-pale skin? Or my boring grey eyes? Could it be my personality and sense of humor? I have no idea. I'm not going to question it.

    He knows the rules - one strike and you are out. If I ever find out he cheated on me, I will leave him in two seconds. I am not afraid of being alone, and that is the price he would have to pay if he violated my trust. This will never happen. I trust him entirely. He is an adult an I am not going to police his actions and mandate who he can and cannot be friends with.

    Grow up. I bet you go through his phone too. That sort of behavior is wrong and extremely unnatractive.

    Agree with this statement..... you can't trust your fiancé to be friends with/talk to other women so he is probably lying to you and doing it behind your back. (and I mean with co-workers at work, not having an affair) To me what you wrote is that you are too insecure for your partner to have friends that are the opposite sex.... this is sad and it speaks volumes about YOU! If you really think that he doesn’t look at other women, you are sadly mistaken.... if you say you don't notice attractive men while you are out, YOU ARE LYING! Maybe honesty with your partner will help you get rid of the insecurities you have.... Remember at the end of the day he put a ring on YOUR finger and wants to marry YOU, so why would his friendships with other women make you “pissed off and broken” …. Seriously, you need more confidence…
  • redhed91
    redhed91 Posts: 3
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    As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

    Spot on. I couldn't have said it better myself.
  • learnerdriver
    learnerdriver Posts: 298 Member
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    old post bump for self-esteem

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