Do your partners/family give you support or not?

KodAkuraMacKyen

My husband and most of my family have been incredibly supportive. My husband doing some grocery shopping when at the last minute I need something to round out my macros and BBQing on the grill outside all winter long, working out with me for a while and supporting all the money I've spent on eating healthier and buying weight stuff so I can do my workouts at home where I prefer. I'm a very lucky girl.

glahlstedt

my hubbs says, "nothing!!!" it really hurts my feelings!!!!!!!!!!! however, my sister Debbie keeps telling me how beautiful I am. I swear its the ones we love most that don't support us. Although, I like what someone else said on one of the comments. This has to be our journey, and we should, "own it!" I am very sad about my hubbs though. I really wish he would at least compliment me once in a while. Furthermore, he never complimented me when I was 140lbs, so i guess it's not in his nature. i do remember one time when i was 120lbs he said i was sexy. seriously? is that what it takes?!!!! that is not reality. that was 14 years ago, when i was 26 years old. well, friend me if you would like. we can talk via messages....

raisingemilyjune

my fiance is super super supportive. we work out together, we have both changed our outlook on food and having him working hard along side me has really made me a more determined person.

mychellelynne

I have an amazing support system. My husband is on MFP as well as most of my in-laws. My immediate family is also very supportive.

Even if you don't have direct support you have the people here. Find a group or people who will be willing to ask about your day and give advice. It is not easy, and if everyone is struggling why not struggle together.

StefieLou

he trys but he doesnt get the whole if you have leftover cals..who says i cant have ice cream he automatically thinks im cheating or something! drives me crazy...i also try n cook most meals because he looks to add olive oil to eevvvvvveeeerrryyyy thing!

LOL. My husband does the SAME thing!!!! I measure out everything, and pain-stakingly enter my dinners into recipes. When my husband is trying to be nice and offers to cook, I often say thanks but no thanks.
I want to know exactly what I am eating! =+)

bermudamel

my hubby is super supportive and goes to the gym with me and has cut a lot of junk food out himself. He supports me every step of the way. He also never says things like "I want you to be thin", instead will say "I want you to be healthy".

my mom on the other hand, always has something to say about weight loss (as if I don't know I need to lose weight) and is the first to complain when I don't have 3 helpings of food when i go to her house!

Kristi858

I have the same problem! I get so proud of myself for the miles that I'm running, and my friends/family act like its no big deal. They try to make me cheat on my diet but then make me feel bad when I do. It sucks! Vent here all you like. We'll listen.

Keep up the great work! You are doing an amazing job!

sweebum

Well, mine is usually supportive. But even if he wasn't, it's my goal, not his. Frankly, I don't care what he thinks of it or whether he supports me. It's something I do for me.

hap2010

I am taking on this journey with my husband. We found out that together we can accomplish anything. In addition, it makes cooking much simpler. Our three teenagers that live at home are also on this journey with us because I refuse to cook for them separately. I figure they will pick up healthy habits that way too.

ReneeElizabeth26

Mine brings me double stuffed cookies and candies all the time...
He is the LAZIEST man I have ever met and REFUSES to work out or even walk and when I do get him out the door its..."Youre walking too fast, Im tired, Im hungry, weve been gone to long"...This is on a 20 minute walk. RIDICULOUS!!! Its effecting our sex life..He NEVER wants in and I ALWAYS DO!!! Im finally feeling good about my self and have no one to share it with. I am at my witts end..All he does is play video games for hours on end. HE IS 38 YEARS OLD...God help me before I punch him in the nose~

AQ3107

He is my running partner. All those little things we never get time to talk about, we do it whilst running. We both work full time and are have a very busy lifestyle so that's our "together" time.
He is not just supportive in regards of my health and fitness but for everything else in my life.
For instance I hate shopping for clothes so he buys all my clothes and shoes. A lot of people find that strange but he does have better taste than me. I am hopeless.Sometimes I tease him and tell me that he is my mother. He has a very nurturing nature.

I am his best friend. But he isn't mine.
But he is my support system. I guess the key to a happy healthy relationship is to have the right balance of communication.
I don't know but it works with us.

laurenc42

I know this is a lot easier when my mother is doing it too.

kperez79

I have NO support at all!!!! My hubby does not help me with dieting and he likes to help me eat snacks at night...makes my a HUGE bowl of ice cream or cereal. I need to learn how to tell him NO

RobfromLakewood

In first response, my wife couldn't be more supportive. I started on MFP a couple of weeks before her, but both of us needed to lose weight we had gained in our time together. Since July 2012, we've lost a combined 90 pounds. I'm sure we've lost more fat weight as our muscle tone has developed and she has really transformed her body. The increased glances she gets will cause a second or two of annoyance, almost jealousy. But then just being honest with myself that I felt it seems to be enough to make me see how silly I am about it. Not really the jealous type, I can see how this momentary annoyance I can understand how it could be much more of a problem for someone more jealous.

It could also be a case of someone who doesn't want to see another person's progress. Seeing you make healthier choices might be causing him to confront his only health issues and it is something he doesn't want to do. It reminds me of the quote, "Any *kitten* can break down a barn, it takes a good person to build one." Remember you are building a barn, y7ou're doing the work and while your husband is probably a great guy, right now he's being a jack *kitten*. Don't let that stop your progress.

I think you need to develop a support network and realize home is not part of it...for now. Remember, your success may stop being intimidating and instead become a place of inspiration.

MartinaNYC

Not really- my BF always annoys me saying I eat too little (I'm on a 1240cal per day and feel great) or I over-think my food options too much...

Mimisam45

I have to "weigh" in here. . . . get it???

Seriously, my hubby doesn't get it at all! In the past he was like the food police and had a comment or a "look" for everything I ate, even healthy stuff that he didn't understand. . . like avacodo. It was very frustrating, he knew I did a LOT of research, etc., but was still very critical.

This time it is about me. . . I don't care what he thinks. This time he is overweight!!! He no longer is in construction and the weight has really piled on and he has a different outlook. He has even gone downstairs and gotten on the tread a few times and is paying attention to what he eats, he still eats everything he shouldn't but he is paying attention!!

I had a significant NSV on Saturday and was so excited to show him. . . his response was 'okay". Okay? Are you kidding? I don't think he was being unkind, he just doesn't get it! He later (several hours) gave me a hug and said that he knows how hard I am working and was proud. . . . but I still felt slighted for a bit about his initial response.

This time, it doesn't bother me when he is either supportive or critical, I know that what I am doing is "right" and it is for life. He will have to catch up someday!!! :bigsmile:

Do this for you, don't let the naysayers convince you that you can't do this, take each day and make it work for you!!! :glasses:

_Witsy_

Well, mine is usually supportive. But even if he wasn't, it's my goal, not his. Frankly, I don't care what he thinks of it or whether he supports me. It's something I do for me.

I agree mostly with this.

joleenl

I do all the cooking and most of the shopping. My spouse whined at first, but his choices were eat it or cook something else. He's learned to eat it and enjoy it. Mine spouse says he loves me either way. He doesn't compliment me as a rule of thumb but occasionally he comments on all my hard work. He sometimes brings junk food in the house but I'm pretty good at distracting myself. He is finding that junk food is now making him sick because he's not used to it. It's getting easier with him everyday. He is even starting to lose weight too. Every weekend I ask him to exercise, he used to say no, but now he says he's buying runners...yay.

oregonzoo

Not really, but I don't require it.
This is my thing. Nobody elses.

olDave

It's like anything in life...we have a choice to let other people's actions bother us or not. If we are upset it's only US that's causing ourselves to feel that way.

I hope this resonates with you.

Good luck.

ze_hombre

Not at first. My wife was great through most of it (although there was some eye rolling and questioning looks). My friends were supportive in that they didn't give me grief or make fun of me, but I had to remind them that I wasn't eating carbs or that I needed to skip a double quarter pounder because I was close or over calories for the day. Then around the 30 pounds lost mark, it all kinda snapped into place for everyone. From that point, everyone was commenting how much I lost, and asking how I did it, and not offering me carby food. Many even started joining in or starting their own regimen.

But I didn't do any of this for them. I did it for me. I was tired of looking like a blob. I was tired of looking like an easter egg if I wore pastel shirts. I was tired of always being tired. You should never let other's views or beliefs have direct impact on your own personal view points.

norcal_yogi

No, mine likes "more cushin' for the pushin"...and has been very vocal about that.

yeah my husband prefers this as well..... lol.

brittaney10811

My husband is my biggest supporter. It helps so much that we are doing this together!! We will grocery shop together, sit down and plan out our meals for the week, i'll cook and he'll "help" haha.... i.e. measure out seasonings and anything that doesn't involve the actual "cooking" part of the meal, haha... but he'll stay in the kitchen and keep me company, as well as do the dishes with me after the meal. He asks what i had to eat for the day, and i'll ask him. we work out together in the mornings at crossfit and really root one another on and push each other to be better. He's fully my partner in all of this, and i'm very aware how lucky i am :smooched:

mgpage

I have to say that my husband and daughters have been very supportive. I am the only one in the house that is trying to lose weight, but my husband does most of the grocery shopping and he will call me and say "I got you a new healthy snack to try, man eating healthy cost a lot." My oldest daughter told me she loves it when I lose weight because I cook more, and I like your meals. My daughters also walk with me and I use that time to talk to them about whatever they want to talk about.

Danieboo757

I've been blessed to have a very supportive BF he works out with me and when we go out he makes sure whatever I order is something I'll feel good about later even if its a burger he'll simply ask are u sure u want tht and ur not gonna cry about it later? I love that he helps me with this but with that said the bottom line is he's always been supportive but I just started doing the "right thing". I had to make that choice for myself and stick with it. YES it makes it easier to have support but its not NEEDED...u can do this with or without any body else and when you do it and get it done don't forget to flaunt it and be PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yo_andi

Yes, but I don't rely on it. Never have, never will. This is not anyone else's mission. Just mine.

shrinkingbrian

At first, things were hard with my wife but over time, she has been more supportive. We don't spend as much time together because I am exercising a lot (up to 2-3 hours a day) but I still try to spend some time with my wife. I was over 400 pounds and didn't want to make my wife and young widow so a little time away each day means that I will hopefully live longer with her. I still try to go out to eat once a week with my wife for lunch or breakfast while our kids are in school on a date. I have also offered to go on walks with my wife so we can exercise together. Sometimes, she makes desserts and has sweets around but I just try to resist. It takes a lot of will power though with lots of sweets around the house. My wife is very supportive of buying lots of fruits and vegetables at the store and helps cut up fresh vegetables (carrots, green peppers, broccoli) for me for dinner which I really appreciate. As a whole, our meals have more healthy and I also appreciate that.

carrieous

whatever, i dont care, I do it anyway because i eat right and work out for myself and no one else.

every once in awhile he will get on a kick and say he is going to be healthier. He asked for a yoga mat and videos for xmas. I bought them for him. He has not used them once and its march. (!)

MinnieInMaine

My husband is pretty supportive. At first he didn't get it...he'd say things like "you're not supposed to eat peanut butter" or "can you have that?" and so I had some good conversations with him about how starving yourself isn't the right way to lose weight and yes I can eat what I like as long as I don't overindulge. He'll still ask questions once in a while but I don't take it as an accusation, I take it as an opportunity to share my knowledge and help him get healthier as well. And obviously at this point I've made it clear that I know what I'm talking about because I've been able to stick with it for the first time ever and weigh less than him for the first time in our 15 years together.

He also is great about my fitness goals. I'll be lazing around the house and say something like "I was thinking about going for a walk (or run) but it's kind of cold out (or I'm tired)" and he'll be like "come on, don't be a woosy, get out there!". And he pays more attention to my activity than I realize For a while I was going to the gym after work and would just shower when I got home. Then I changed my routine to going mid-morning and he thought I stopped going! LOL - it's good to know he's looking out for me!

MichelleZB

I'm living with my mom right now who refuses to cook anything healthy. She bakes cookies constantly. And when I work out in front of her all she can say is "Michelle, you are working too hard... you need to stop." I just want to yell at her NO I need to work HARDER. Push myself so I can become healthy. Grrrr. So frustrating.