A personal rant

swilki84

In response to the community, as a professional I apologize if some felt offended by the rant. I spoke from emotion last night because I'm human. I was angry and sad about my friend's situation and just had to let off some steam since I really do care about her and her family.
This DOESN'T mean that other people's hardships aren't valid. That weight loss isn't important. It is a weight loss and fitness site and people have EVERY RIGHT to speak about their troubles or hardships with it. And it really is my intention to help. So have a good day and make it count!

Thanks for listening.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Thanks for apologising but I have to say that as a leukaemia survivor I was appalled by your original post.

I developed leukaemia when I was 16. I underwent a year of chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment culminating in a bone marrow stem cell transplant from my sister. Through all that time and the recovery time afterwards I could have sat around beating my breast and wailing "poor me" but it wouldn't have been fair.
Three points:
1: A girl named Lauren went through treatment at the same time I did. She died.
Does that mean I had no right to complain about my troubles because she had it worse? Of course not.
Do you have a right to attack other people's complaints because someone else has it worse? No you bloody don't.

2: When I was ill, there was nothing that made me feel so frustrated and alienated as those friends who wanted to shield me from their lives. I know why they did it, and it was exactly the same reason you complained last night - because they felt that their problems weren't anything compared to mine.
On the other hand one friend of mine would phone me every night, complain about her boyfriend, whine about school and how her haircut was awful - all that trivial stuff. But without that I think I would have gone insane. I cared about her problems because they were her problems, and more than that, she actually made me feel normal by treating me like a human being instead of a poster child for a cancer campaign.

3: I can't speak for how your friend would feel, but if one of my friends had gone spouting off about how my problems are so much greater than everyone else's, I would have been utterly furious. However unconsciously, you're putting those words in her mouth, turning her into an object of pity for a billion strangers and even thinking about that secondhand makes me angry.

One last thing - as part of my treatment I had to take steroids for a couple of months. They made me swell up like nobody's business. That actually really bothered me despite everything else that was going on. How you feel in yourself, how you feel you look DOES matter. It makes you feel confident, makes you feel happy about yourself and gives you self esteem. As a professional, you should know that.

Sorry if this comes off harsh but I really think it's important to say because it's not just the unfairness, (other people have covered that) it's the inappropriateness of the post
While I understand a moment of rage and frustration, frankly, by having a private rant on a public forum, you're making her illness about you - if you wouldn't stand in the street and say it, it doesn't belong on here.

penrbrown

2: When I was ill, there was nothing that made me feel so frustrated and alienated as those friends who wanted to shield me from their lives. I know why they did it, and it was exactly the same reason you complained last night - because they felt that their problems weren't anything compared to mine.
On the other hand one friend of mine would phone me every night, complain about her boyfriend, whine about school and how her haircut was awful - all that trivial stuff. But without that I think I would have gone insane. I cared about her problems because they were her problems, and more than that, she actually made me feel normal by treating me like a human being instead of a poster child for a cancer campaign.

Bless you. I actually needed to hear this. I have a friend who is dealing with some very tough stuff right now and I've been very careful not to complain to him about my problems because I figure I have no right to complain when I compare my troubles to his... but now I think I'll rely on him a little. Maybe it's what he needs.

stumblinthrulife

My mother passed last year of cancer. She was strong and positive right to the end. She is one of my inspirations for getting back into shape, made me realize that it was an insult to her memory to waste my life as a blob on the couch after all she did for me.

ttlmallen

At the gym that I go to, there are several members who are in wheel chairs, very elderly, or have health problems aside from weight issues. I love seeing them there trying to make their lives better. They are my daily inspiration to keep going and not stop and complain about my situation. Let's face it, I got here on my own; most of them did not have a choice in their health problems. If they can do this daily, then I can certainly do it without complaining. Besides, no matter how I may feel when I walk into the gym, I ALWAYS feel better when I walk out. Plus, I see my efforts as setting a good example for my family. I think that you are absolutely right in what you say. I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for always being there and helping all of us to make good decisions/choices.

jball1954

Everyone has the "right" to complain all you want about anything. People also have the right to get annoyed at those who overdo it. So it's really not about telling people they can't whine or complain about any little thing, it's just whether or not anyone will listen or care. It's like the boy who whined wolf. Also, everyone's different so some people will respond sympathetically and others won't at all. We should all practice strategic whining.