If u owned a gym what totalitarian policies would u enforce?

suv_hater

Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

Here would be some of mine:

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

2. No striped tank tops, guys.

3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

@#mn gym.

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

7. Coconut water water fountains.

That is all.

JacksMom12

I only do 12 mins of cardio. Guess I'm banned.


P.S. your profile pic totally looks like a gym selfie.

robbienjill

this!!! Lol. My rule would be that EVERYONE MUST TAKE A SELFIE! YouTube it afterwards!

ThePinkPenguin

No cell phone use on the machines. If you HAVE to use it, get off your machine (which also means it is not reserved and someone else can use it while you're talking on the phone) or get out of the gym.

Don't bother coming if you're going to only put in a half-*kitten* effort (standing around and barely moving in group classes, using a machine at a slow pace for over an hour, etc.).

I would definitely have a dress code of some sort and require deodorant and/or showering before you came.

Lateness for group classes would not be tolerated. If you are more than five minutes late for a class, you wouldn't be allowed in the room.

RainHoward

one and only rule: Don't be a douche.

Probably not the best business plan for a gym since that is the client base they tend to attract.

suv_hater

I only do 12 mins of cardio. Guess I'm banned.


P.S. your profile pic totally looks like a gym selfie.

That's only my apartment complex gym though. No one is ever in there.

lithezebra

It's definitely okay to wear makeup, booty shorts or have perfect hair, or not, at my gym.

meshashesha2012

- guys with abs like OP MUST walk around shirtless, but wipe off the machines.

- anyone refilling a large bottle of water when there is a clearly a line of people behind who just want sips will be banned

- any dudes wearing daisy duke shorts and going commando and insisting on doing all exercises spread eagle so that anyone and everyone can see their nutsack BANNED

DavPul

That's only my apartment complex gym though. No one is ever in there.

jayche

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

Aren't you taking a selfie in the gym in your profile pic? With your shirt off too

leighann881

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

Dude, your profile pic is a gym selfie.. lmfao

matt2442

leighann881

no sitting down unless you are holding something heavy and preferably moving it through the air.

leighann881

It's definitely okay to wear makeup, booty shorts or have perfect hair, or not, at my gym.

I work out on my lunch break... I straight up walk into the weight room with crazy makeup and pretty hair. I don't, however, walk out looking that way...lol.

AllTehBeers

This depends. To I want to make money and keep my regulars or just be a douche?

1 rule: be safe.

vinchass9

curling in the squat rack gets you tarred and feathered

AnabolicKyle

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

uwotm8???

dixiewhiskey

No holding on to the treadmills or any backwards crab walk sh--.

All men must walk around topless

Makeup and beautiful hair is welcome, jealous folks not welcome.

redheaddee

no throwing weights. Dropping is different, but purposely throwing is a no no. and also the don't be a douche rule. And for frak sake no cell phones other than for Pandora.

Pimpmonkey

Stupid question...what's a selfie?!

Lyadeia

Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

Here would be some of mine:

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

2. No striped tank tops, guys.

3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

@#mn gym.

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

7. Coconut water water fountains.

That is all.

I guess I'd be banned after getting high rates because I warm-up for 5 minutes on cardio machines prior to lifting...and it took 3 months of concentrated work for me to be able to do 1 pull-up, let alone 5...

adenium11

My rules would include:

If someones set up a machine to use it for what its meant for.. do not remove their weights and use it for a different exercise that has its own machines.. all of which are open.

If you have to throw a weight on the floor.. grow up and stop lifting what you can't put away safely.

I would also hire a physiotherapist to make sure people squat right etc.

Lyadeia

no throwing weights. Dropping is different, but purposely throwing is a no no. and also the don't be a douche rule. And for frak sake no cell phones other than for Pandora.

I guess I'd be banned from your gym too since I use the Jefit app on my phone to track my lifting progress, time my rest periods between sets, etc. I also use Endomondo on my phone connected through bluetooth to my HRM to accurately track calories burned while I am doing cardio. Hmmm...

Lyadeia

no sitting down unless you are holding something heavy and preferably moving it through the air.

I guess your gym doesn't have spinning classes, stationary bikes, or rowing machines. Bummer. I get tired of treadmills.

grantdumas7

curling in the squat rack gets you tarred and feathered

Came to post this. Left satisfied.

grantdumas7

Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

Here would be some of mine:

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

2. No striped tank tops, guys.

3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

@#mn gym.

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

7. Coconut water water fountains.

That is all.

#3 has to go. What if someone is doing HIIT? What if they want to do 10 min elliptical and 15 min on the stairstepper?

dixiewhiskey

Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

Here would be some of mine:

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

2. No striped tank tops, guys.

3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

@#mn gym.

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

7. Coconut water water fountains.

That is all.

#3 has to go. What if someone is doing HIIT?

Guess we'll just have to push for another 5 minutes on the treadmill

nz_deevaa

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

That is all.

I've been doing strength training for a year now, and I still can't do a pull-up.

However I can squat 100kgs, so I'd like to suggest, that if you can do something equally impressive, but not pull-ups you can get the membership rebate. *nod*

grantdumas7

Here are two other pet peeves at the gym:
1) Not stacking the plates properly e.g. placing 45LB plates on top of 10LB plates.
2) Doing exercises right in front of the dumbbell rack. I swear I want to throw a dumbbell at these people.

JUDDDing

All men must walk around topless

I can almost guarantee that you are not going to enjoy this...

LiftAllThePizzas

One rule: everybody out. Now. :happy: