If u owned a gym what totalitarian policies would u enforce?

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Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

Here would be some of mine:

1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

2. No striped tank tops, guys.

3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

@#mn gym. :)

6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

7. Coconut water water fountains.

That is all.
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Replies

  • JacksMom12
    JacksMom12 Posts: 1,044 Member
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    I only do 12 mins of cardio. Guess I'm banned.


    P.S. your profile pic totally looks like a gym selfie.
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
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    <3 this!!! Lol. My rule would be that EVERYONE MUST TAKE A SELFIE! YouTube it afterwards!
  • ThePinkPenguin
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    No cell phone use on the machines. If you HAVE to use it, get off your machine (which also means it is not reserved and someone else can use it while you're talking on the phone) or get out of the gym.

    Don't bother coming if you're going to only put in a half-*kitten* effort (standing around and barely moving in group classes, using a machine at a slow pace for over an hour, etc.).

    I would definitely have a dress code of some sort and require deodorant and/or showering before you came.

    Lateness for group classes would not be tolerated. If you are more than five minutes late for a class, you wouldn't be allowed in the room.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    one and only rule: Don't be a douche.

    Probably not the best business plan for a gym since that is the client base they tend to attract.
  • suv_hater
    suv_hater Posts: 374 Member
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    I only do 12 mins of cardio. Guess I'm banned.


    P.S. your profile pic totally looks like a gym selfie.
    That's only my apartment complex gym though. No one is ever in there.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    It's definitely okay to wear makeup, booty shorts or have perfect hair, or not, at my gym.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    - guys with abs like OP MUST walk around shirtless, but wipe off the machines.

    - anyone refilling a large bottle of water when there is a clearly a line of people behind who just want sips will be banned

    - any dudes wearing daisy duke shorts and going commando and insisting on doing all exercises spread eagle so that anyone and everyone can see their nutsack BANNED
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    That's only my apartment complex gym though. No one is ever in there.

    522713_175619882584104_1163384479_n_zpsa52680dc.jpg
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
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    1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.
    Aren't you taking a selfie in the gym in your profile pic? With your shirt off too
  • leighann881
    leighann881 Posts: 371
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    1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

    Dude, your profile pic is a gym selfie.. lmfao
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    s6rXbvn.gif
  • leighann881
    leighann881 Posts: 371
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    no sitting down unless you are holding something heavy and preferably moving it through the air.
  • leighann881
    leighann881 Posts: 371
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    It's definitely okay to wear makeup, booty shorts or have perfect hair, or not, at my gym.

    I work out on my lunch break... I straight up walk into the weight room with crazy makeup and pretty hair. I don't, however, walk out looking that way...lol.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    This depends. To I want to make money and keep my regulars or just be a douche?

    1 rule: be safe.
  • vinchass9
    vinchass9 Posts: 36
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    curling in the squat rack gets you tarred and feathered
  • AnabolicKyle
    AnabolicKyle Posts: 489 Member
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    1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

    uwotm8???

    30786840_1935.jpg
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    No holding on to the treadmills or any backwards crab walk sh--.

    All men must walk around topless

    Makeup and beautiful hair is welcome, jealous folks not welcome.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    no throwing weights. Dropping is different, but purposely throwing is a no no. and also the don't be a douche rule. And for frak sake no cell phones other than for Pandora.
  • Pimpmonkey
    Pimpmonkey Posts: 566
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    Stupid question...what's a selfie?!
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    Forget the cell phones and re-racking stuff..... it's your gym so what would you REALLY enforce because YOU CAN?

    Here would be some of mine:

    1. Any member caught taking a selfie is banned for two weeks. Second violation is permabanned.

    2. No striped tank tops, guys.

    3. All cardio equipment must be used for AT LEAST 25 min. No quickies here, folks. Any violation sets off a siren alarm in the machine and violating members will be banned for one week.

    4. Only sports-related programming on the TVs.

    @#mn gym. :)

    6. If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

    7. Coconut water water fountains.

    That is all.

    I guess I'd be banned after getting high rates because I warm-up for 5 minutes on cardio machines prior to lifting...and it took 3 months of concentrated work for me to be able to do 1 pull-up, let alone 5...