If u owned a gym what totalitarian policies would u enforce?

Hbazzell

That awkward hip ad/abductor machine will not be facing the cardio machines.

MSeel1984

HAHAHA! The one that makes you feel like you're at the gynecologist? Yeah...awkward.

Hbazzell

Indeed! That machine must face the wall at all times

TheRealParisLove

If I owned a gym, I would insist members sign up for a minimum of 6 months. They don't have to pay a membership fee if they come in everyday. It would be totally free for daily users!

However, if they miss a day, they get charged $5. The more days they miss, the more they pay.

I guess I'd have to offer stretching and meditation classes for people who are on their rest days. Oh, and a really good smoothie bar.

DavPul

This entire thread is why I would NEVER go to a gym. You people are @$$holes. Seriously.

I don't even know what the heck half this stuff is and if you DON'T know, apparently, you should be punched in the face. Thanks for helping a newbie out.

Hence, why I exercise at home, thanks.

If you joined a gym, you'd probably learn what half of this stuff is. Just sayin

ahamm002

In my gym, skinny people with legs the size of my arms who think doing pullups is badass have to load and rack the 100lb plates for the squatters and deadlifters.

I don't get it, are pull-ups not badass or something? I always thought they were

I thought they were too. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go on a 2 year bulk cycle until I can only do 1 pull up, but my quads are so thick I can't walk normally.

taunto

In my gym, skinny people with legs the size of my arms who think doing pullups is badass have to load and rack the 100lb plates for the squatters and deadlifters.

I don't get it, are pull-ups not badass or something? I always thought they were

I thought they were too. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go on a 2 year bulk cycle until I can only do 1 pull up, but my quads are so thick I can't walk normally.

It would be a HUUUUGE milestone of mine to do ONE pullup. And I would love to be able to do them and think of myself as a badass after I do one

ahamm002

In my gym, skinny people with legs the size of my arms who think doing pullups is badass have to load and rack the 100lb plates for the squatters and deadlifters.

I don't get it, are pull-ups not badass or something? I always thought they were

I thought they were too. Oh well, I guess I'll have to go on a 2 year bulk cycle until I can only do 1 pull up, but my quads are so thick I can't walk normally.

It would be a HUUUUGE milestone of mine to do ONE pullup. And I would love to be able to do them and think of myself as a badass after I do one

Training to do that first pull-up really isn't all that bad as long as you aren't super obese. With only 41 more pounds to lose, you could definitely do at least one if not more if you set your mind to it. Just start with negatives, and make sure to rack up as much "time under tension" as you can during the negatives. It's all about volume initially. Pretty soon you'll be able to do a real chin-up / pull-up.

danimalkeys

Honestly I'm more impressed by someone squatting big weight than doing pullups. Tons of people can do pullups. I could do 8 of them at 250lbs bodyweight a few years ago, and I was squatting over 600 at the time. A 6-7 plate a side squat is pretty badass, no matter how big the person is doing it. Ironically, many of the people who can squat that much can also do a fair amount of pullups, can walk normally, and are not obese.

I'd be impressed with a 150lb person strapping 100lbs of weight to them an then cranking out 10-15 pullups. That would be pretty badass. As are the guys who can crank out a true 1 handed pullup, hanging from the bar with 1 arm and the other arm not holding anything.

My original point was a sarcastic remark towards the guys who do nothing but upper body and think that pecs, biceps and abs is all there is- the "mirror" muscles. They have the toothpick legs and think "I don't need to work my legs because I run". Like the pic that someone posted about every day being arm day.

ekaustin7

I'd tell that freakishly skinny chick that goes to my gym that she needs to go home, she's done already.

MeeshyBW

Anyone who spends more than 30 minutes in the changing rooms. My pet hate is women I don't know about Men so can't say) who seem to use the changing room facilities and spend longer in there getting showered and faffing about that they do working out!

Guys who lift weights who wear light grey/white jogging bottoms and no underwear. I do not want to see your junk swinging about thanks.

Guys who wear DENIM in the gym - Why?!!!!

Women who power walk on the treadmills for 40 minutes whilst having a full TMI conversation with their friend. No one needs to power walk for 40 minutes and I don;t care about Tracy who slept with Bob and now has and STI.

Powerplates. Pointless. None of these in my gym whatsoever.

Skinny women who clearly have some sort of ED who are in the gym all the time. If your BMI is classed as underweight you shouldn't be allowed in a gym.

Loftearmen

If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

Like the other stuff but this one's a little harsh. There are ALOT of people who can't even do one pull up even though they're in pretty good shape.

Let's keep the bar a little higher than that dude lol. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that if you can't do 1 pull up/chin up you're not in pretty good shape.

kristy_n0831

one and only rule: Don't be a douche.

Probably not the best business plan for a gym since that is the client base they tend to attract.

^This.

EmGetsFit

Post-workout wine bar.

Also, if you don't wipe your sweat off of a bench/machine after using it, you're given a warning. Second time you fail to de-sweat your machine, you're done. NO GYM FOR YOU!

SassJess81

one and only rule: Don't be a douche.

Probably not the best business plan for a gym since that is the client base they tend to attract.

Keeping with this theme...pre-gym you must bathe with soap and water, not cologne.
No wife beaters.
No standing around in groups, leaning on the equipment and talking about your awesome weekend.

LoosingMyLast15

no talking on your cell phone while on any machine period
if you don't sweat your make up off then you're not working hard enough and you must leave
you are not allowed to use the equipment as a seat so you can chit chat and gossip. go to the locker room for this
Strolling on the treadmill is not allowed - if you want to go for a stroll go outside and stroll all day long in fact you can chit chat on your cell phone while on your stroll OUTSIDE.

sneakers are the only form of shoes allowed in my gym.

gmallan

Skinny women who clearly have some sort of ED who are in the gym all the time. If your BMI is classed as underweight you shouldn't be allowed in a gym.

Wow, that's harsh. You won't even let them lift weights? I would say a cardio ban unless training for a specific event/sport would be more appropriate.

I would like to see HRM on the cardio machines and flashing lights and alarms if a person isn't working at a high enough intensity

LiftAllThePizzas

If you can't do at least 5 pullups after your first month of membership, your membership dues increase 30%.

If you can do 5 pullups, you're already done and don't need to be going to a gym.

With love,
Jack Handey

lesriens

In my gym, skinny people with legs the size of my arms who think doing pullups is badass have to load and rack the 100lb plates for the squatters and deadlifters.

In my gym, caveman-like big brutes that express themselves through grunts and cannot do at least 10 pullups to save their life have a huge discount to their membership because they are still an interesting sideshow.