My husband thinks I have gotten too muscular

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  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
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    I didn't read all the comments because apparently MFP is overrun by immature, sarcastic and hangry people.

    I would simply tell your husband that the same way it is hurtful to comment about how out of shape someone's body is, it's no less hurtful when someone you love makes it seem as though your appearance is turning him off, no matter what is more socially acceptable.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I looked like shrek... when my BFF was pregnant I always commented on how tiny she was and how she was barely showing! I thought i was paying her a compliment but it turns out she was really self conscious of it! Could that be his way of letting you know he notices your body changing?

    In any case, best of luck. I know I would love my husband if he was 400# if it meant he would be around longer for me and the kids. XXX
  • keepongoingnmw
    keepongoingnmw Posts: 371 Member
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    I think you should give him a pass for the comment if it was the first time he said something like that. If he keeps making the comment just flat out ask him why he is not being supportive. My husband gives me a hard time about going to 5:30 am classes, then caught himself and said later that its a good thing I am doing, he just doesn't like that its inconvenient for him.

    I think its best to give people the benefit of a doubt. If he keeps it up say something. Maybe he was in a bad mood.

    I think the best response was the Dutch Oven BTW.
  • Liftnlove
    Liftnlove Posts: 235
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    hmmm, how about this.... Tell him...

    "Newsflash, buddy. I'm building my body like this for ME, not for you. If you don't like it, feel free to sleep on the couch, where you can criticize my muscles ALONE."
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
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    Beat his *kitten*!
  • syntaxxor
    syntaxxor Posts: 86
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    Remind him: "Happy wife, happy life"
  • KickyLegs
    KickyLegs Posts: 53
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    I'd be pissed. I'd probably be passive aggressive and say that someone I work with said I look great (to make him jealous).

    This is not good advice though.

    Communicate. Maybe you took it the wrong way? Or maybe he didn't realize that comment would hurt/annoy you.
  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
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    Tell him you're very happy with your body and how it looks. Your happiness should be very important to your husband. Ask him that... "how important is my happiness to you"? Most likely he's jealous and insecure. Reassure him. Men's egos are very fragile.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Punch him in the balls.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Remind him: "Happy wife, happy life"

    ow this guy^ is a smart man. Genious.

    I say his self esteem is a little hurt by your progress. men have a funny way of showing thier insecurities. My husband was the SAME WAY at first. then he decided to jump on board about 4 months later. Now he gets more compliments than I do and Im invisible...lol. I woudnt get to worried about it, i would just joke around and say- the next time he comments" honey are my arms bigger than yours, lets see flex for me" lol. Dont take it to the heart.
  • supermodelchic
    supermodelchic Posts: 550 Member
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    Nice soild muscle on females is sexy, maybe he is just worried that you uped your hotness factor !!!:heart:
  • tatd_820
    tatd_820 Posts: 573 Member
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    Not a good feeling. I know. Mine has made several comments that I haven't liked. When I want to do the gym in the evenings because I missed the morning it's like he has a problem with it. The other day he told me that people ar going to think I'm arrogant because I take pictures of myself! Really? I finally feel GOOD and you tell me I am arrogant! Awesome support right there, buddy. He does give me good compliments too. So I try to ignore the ugly ones and appreciate the good one. If it gets too much for you, a long talk should be had so you can discuss what is bothering you and him! Best wishes!
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    I agree that communication is important, but I can't get over that headlock and a noogie comment. That was freaking hilarious!
  • jez4ever
    jez4ever Posts: 190 Member
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    0_zps31263159.jpg


    Do what IVANA would do...
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    My husband has started commenting on how muscular I have gotten. I really like my new body. My body fat percentage is in the high ideal range and I still have at least 5 lbs to lose to get to my BMI. I have always been on the muscular side for a female and when we got married I was thin and muscular. How should I respond to his criticism?

    What exactly is he commenting?

    Too often my wife will take something I say as criticism when it's nothing more than just a blanket observation.
  • B_Town154
    B_Town154 Posts: 13 Member
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    My husband has started commenting on how muscular I have gotten. I really like my new body. My body fat percentage is in the high ideal range and I still have at least 5 lbs to lose to get to my BMI. I have always been on the muscular side for a female and when we got married I was thin and muscular. How should I respond to his criticism?

    Take him to a WWE event. Tell him your applying afterwards.

    Just kidding!
  • BoiNeezy
    BoiNeezy Posts: 227 Member
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    Sometimes us men get jealous when the wife looking 2 good
  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 437 Member
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    Communication, communication, communication. I think you two need to sit down sometime when there are no other distractions (kids, ringing phone, job stress, etc) and simply talk. Ask him what his comments on your muscles mean to him, why he feels the need to comment so frequently, if he finds it unattractive, whatever. Maybe he is simply having a hard time wrapping his mind around the changes in your body, not necessarily that he dislikes it but you're not the wife (physically) that he's grown used to. Maybe its more. He may not even be aware of how his comments sound to you or that they make you feel attacked, defensive, put down, or whatever your feeling. Share with him why you've lost weight/gained muscle (health, more self confidence, what-have-you) and why its important to you. Also, stress to him how much his support and admiration and love mean to you.

    I know that it can be hard if your SO isn't as into you changing as you are. My BF is attracted to "fluffy" women. That's what he got with me 5 years ago, and now I'm changing things up on him. Thankfully, he wants me to be around and us to be together for a long, long time and knows that its more likely if I lose weight and get healthier so he's being very supportive. I was somewhat concerned about his feelings so I simply asked, and what he told me is, "you're still you, and I love you." I'm sure your hubby feels the same way. He probably just doesn't know to express it.

    Good luck. And great job on your weight lose so far.

    My first impulse was to react more snarkily, but this is pretty great. FInding out what the core concern is is best, and, in terms of long-term health of your relationship, a great hallmark of responding-not-reacting. Good luck!
  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 437 Member
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  • doc800
    doc800 Posts: 148
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    Well, just smack him around and tell him now he gets no allowance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • sechadyl
    sechadyl Posts: 28 Member
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    He could be insecure, he realizes you look much better and if HE notices, he knows other men do too.

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