Is it rude to delete/decline friends with a private diary?

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Calliope610
Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How can I support you if I don't know what I'm supporting? How can I offer suggestions if I don't know what you are doing and what you're not doing?
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Replies

  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    mine is private, and i tell ya,,
    I have some of the best friends in the world,
    we are quite close and they mean the world to me!
    THANKS FRIENDS,
    YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,081 Member
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    Well, I don't even log food consistently, and I don't ask for help or support with my food choices.

    You are free to use this site as you see fit. I don't look at my "friends" food diary.
  • ncl1313
    ncl1313 Posts: 237 Member
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    Well, we are friends and my diary is private. You are welcome to unfriend me if you want, but I think there are more things than just a food diary to be supportive of. We can see each other's workouts, weight loss, forum posts, etc. The food diary is just one tool, one aspect of what this site has to offer.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
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    I have my friends list restricted to people who I have something in common with and who I interact with. Tbh I don't really worry too much if a friend chooses to have a closed diary I just do not comment on it when they post, as it would be pointless to comment on something I haven't seen. I respect my friends decisions to do this their way and concentrate on the things I have in common with them.
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
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    How can I support you if I don't know what I'm supporting? How can I offer suggestions if I don't know what you are doing and what you're not doing?

    In my opinion....if I ask for you help/suggestions then yes you should be able to see my diary. I posted a week or so ago asking for help..at that point mine was viewable by only my friends. I made the decision to make it public so that I could get feedback. If I ask and it is private it kinda defeats the purpose of even asking! But...to each his own!
  • DaniH826
    DaniH826 Posts: 1,335 Member
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    I'm friends with people, not diaries.

    Now, if they're griping and need help, then ok open that diary. Otherwise, who cares? What you eat and whether or not you log it is your business. I'm nobody's food police.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
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    I do not reply to closed diaries, or have friends with closed diaries. If I am asking for advise on this forum and expect honest answers to my question, personally my diary should be open for others to answer the question on the information that can be viewed. Whether I view those answers as negative or positive; I should be an adult to take the bad from good to help me.

    My goal is to lose at least 25-30 by July, if someone can push me in that direction by their advise, so be it.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    @ncl1313,

    We can see each other's workouts, weight loss, forum posts, etc. The food diary is just one tool, one aspect of what this site has to offer.

    You are right, maybe this is more about relatively inactive friends and those I simply have nothing in common with. You are a keeper. lol
  • monamecha
    monamecha Posts: 12
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    i didn't even realize my diary was set to private i thought everyone who was my friend could see my diary automatically. It wasn't until i went into my profile for another reason did i even see the diary settings and put it to where my friends could see it. maybe some people just don't know they are set to private, it's the default setting when you sign up for MFP.
  • jacklis
    jacklis Posts: 280 Member
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    I'm friends with people, not diaries.

    Well said.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Too be honest I never look at anyone's diary so I don't care.
  • Dark_Roast
    Dark_Roast Posts: 17,689 Member
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    I don't look at my friends diary unless they bring something to my attention. I would be irritated if someone commented on what I ate actually, especially since I never ask for advice on my food selection.
  • Sharla_G
    Sharla_G Posts: 72
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    It really is helpful to me to see what others are eating. Just for ideas, you know?

    You have to decide what you want from your friends here and act on that.
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
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    I made mine private because to many people are nosy about what I eat. TBH it is no ones business what goes in my mouth but my own. I am the only person I need to please. If I am not happy with what I am feeding myself it is my fault. I got tired of negative comments because everyone has a difference of opinion.

    If you choose to be this way you could be missing out on some amazing friends
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Do you really care if you decline some random stranger to your FL? Does anyone?
  • ncl1313
    ncl1313 Posts: 237 Member
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    @ncl1313,

    We can see each other's workouts, weight loss, forum posts, etc. The food diary is just one tool, one aspect of what this site has to offer.

    You are right, maybe this is more about relatively inactive friends and those I simply have nothing in common with. You are a keeper. lol

    :happy:

    I've never actually look at anyone's diary unless they specifically mention something about it, like how they only ate 800 calories and are full. I want to know what someone is eating to be full after only 800 calories. Usually it's raw veggies, and then I'm sad because raw veggies are evil.
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    My diary is viewable by my friends. However, I don't "complete" my diary at the end of the night. Because I don't need other people to cheer me on in that aspect, plus I don't like seeing the "If every day were like today..." message that comes up when you complete it. I don't like getting caught up in the weight it tells me I should be in five weeks. I also don't look at my friends diaries very often or comment on them. A couple people eat similar to me, or eat what I want to be eating, so I may look at theirs for some new ideas. However, I have a lot of friends that don't eat like me and unless they ask me for my opinion, I am not going to give it. I always try to comment on exercise to be an encouragement with that. Yes, I do think it would be rude to delete someone for not having an open diary. Many people who start on here are not ready for that kind of openness, but are still looking for support. Many of my friends started out with a closed diary and after building friendships, felt safe enough to open them.
  • nashsheri33
    nashsheri33 Posts: 225 Member
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    rude? i hope not! i unfriended my own husband. i kept getting notices that said "your dear husband has not logged in since the dawn of time. he might need some encouragement."

    well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. and everybody needs 8 glasses a day! :)

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