Is it rude to delete/decline friends with a private diary?

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  • TiffersStr1
    TiffersStr1 Posts: 67 Member
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    I keep friends who choose not to post their diaries..and if they complete the day, and it shows they are under their calorie limit..I comment" good day" or "nice job staying under"..or some such comment. I don't need to know every thing that went into their mouth to be supportive. You all have a great rest of the day, or night..or whatever you are experiencing. :flowerforyou:
  • rachelannecraig
    rachelannecraig Posts: 92
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    There are a lot of varying opinions - but you need to do what is best and motivates you! :smile:
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    It's totally your perogative.

    For me, the only person I'm accountable to is...me! I'm the one who disappoints myself if I mess up. I had mine public for a while, but when I kept getting a variety of unsolicited nagging, I shut it down to keep the peace and maintain friendships.

    Each to their own.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    My diary isn't public but you wouldn't need to worry if it was because the first time you commented on my food without me asking I would have already deleted you.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    My diary isn't public but you wouldn't need to worry if it was because the first time you commented on my food without me asking I would have already deleted you.

    I lost two friends this way.
  • Strangegirlz
    Strangegirlz Posts: 92 Member
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    I don't show my diary for a few reasons. Some of the things I use every day, like homemade almond milk, I can't put the exact nutritional info in so I just try and use something similar. This doesn't bother me because i know when I look at it what it is, but if my diary was on show I would feel like I wasn't being exact for other people. Also I have 2 fasting days a week which change and if people looked on these days I wouldn't want them to think I eat very little as I'm conscious that it might be discouraging for people who didn't realise what I was doing. These are just a couple of the reasons
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
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    I think you can decline or delete people based on whatever criteria works for you- I never knew someone would delete friends for commenting on their food without asking! Maybe that's why some people have deleted me, lol!

    I have a small group of highly interactive friends. I have deleted people who eat very low calorie, because I felt like I was responsible for them and didn't want to keep harassing them. I have deleted people who never interacted. I have deleted people who used MFP to generally ***** about life. I have deleted people who post nothing but their crossfit WODs. I figure, if I have nothing positive to say on your updates, we are probably not compatible as MFP pals! I personally won't accept anyone without an open diary and a message, but that's what's important to me- food and personal interaction. I get kind of invested and spend too much time if I have more than like 30 friends to keep up with.

    I figure we are each building support networks that meet our needs and our friends' needs. We don't always get to choose the people around us, but when it comes to fitness and diet, it seems like however it works for you is fine!
  • Lessz
    Lessz Posts: 17 Member
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    I welcome positive feedback and i dont care what anyone thinks of my food choices . My diary is visible to my friends, and i dont expect my friends to comment unless its positive.
  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
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    rude? i hope not! i unfriended my own husband. i kept getting notices that said "your dear husband has not logged in since the dawn of time. he might need some encouragement."

    well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. and everybody needs 8 glasses a day! :)

    LOL I sent my husband a friend request after he created a profile and he never accepted! Of course, he has zero friends on MFP, it's just a logging tool for him... when he bothers.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
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    How can I support you if I don't know what I'm supporting? How can I offer suggestions if I don't know what you are doing and what you're not doing?

    It's your FL, delete or add as you desire. But I have a FL full of wonderful, supportive people (who I also support). My diary is private and I've never looked at any of theirs. There are a million ways to support people without looking at diaries. And chances are very good that someone with a private diary isn't looking for suggestions or commentary on their food choices. If you're looking for ideas of things to eat, just ask. I'll happily and freely tell you what I eat (binges & bad stuff included). But it creeps me out to think people are poking around in my diary.
  • Argentino
    Argentino Posts: 52
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    With so many strong opinions out there, I don't want anyone telling me what to eat and what not to. It can screw people up.
  • jsj024519
    jsj024519 Posts: 400 Member
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    How can I support you if I don't know what I'm supporting? How can I offer suggestions if I don't know what you are doing and what you're not doing?

    It's your FL, delete or add as you desire. But I have a FL full of wonderful, supportive people (who I also support). My diary is private and I've never looked at any of theirs. There are a million ways to support people without looking at diaries. And chances are very good that someone with a private diary isn't looking for suggestions or commentary on their food choices. If you're looking for ideas of things to eat, just ask. I'll happily and freely tell you what I eat (binges & bad stuff included). But it creeps me out to think people are poking around in my diary.

    This^
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
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    I only like it cause I don't keep people to eat too few calories...but I get if they don't open theirs.
    People don't always want advice either... be mindful of that.

    Just because my diary is open to friends doesn't mean I want them telling me how to eat....
  • spongebobsquarepants12345
    spongebobsquarepants12345 Posts: 7
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    Its your FL, do what you want.

    however, my diary is private because I find the notion of strangers going through my daily food choices utterly creepy.

    This and the fact that you get nagged to death if you eat a piece of bread or have a treat once or twice a week
  • Triciasal19
    Triciasal19 Posts: 13 Member
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    I don't have my diary open for the reason that it is for me to see. I don't look at other people's diary because I don't care. I have only added people that have similar goals to me and that works for me.
    We all eat differently and I don't want people thinking my stuff is off or I'm eating too much if they don't know my whole story. I breastfeed and need the extra calories and I don't need people saying that I'm eating too much or the wrong food.
  • MartinaNYC
    MartinaNYC Posts: 190 Member
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    rude? i hope not! i unfriended my own husband. i kept getting notices that said "your dear husband has not logged in since the dawn of time. he might need some encouragement."

    well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. and everybody needs 8 glasses a day! :)

    LOL
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    You can do whatever you want. I don't care if people open their diaries or not, because they can do whichever works better for their own personal weight loss process.

    Mine is open to friends, in case anyone really wants to see it. I don't actually understand why anyone would want to. It's boring.....lithezebra ate her yummy chicken soup for the nth day in a row.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Well, I don't even log food consistently, and I don't ask for help or support with my food choices.

    You are free to use this site as you see fit. I don't look at my "friends" food diary.

    Same here.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Its your FL, do what you want.

    however, my diary is private because I find the notion of strangers going through my daily food choices utterly creepy.

    This and the fact that you get nagged to death if you eat a piece of bread or have a treat once or twice a week

    Or eat an amount appropriate for you.
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,721 Member
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    Nah, and I like to keep mine to people with open diaries as well.

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