I'm conflicted about "Fat Acceptance" morally.. I find

Ramberta

Tell me one reason why the amount of fat in your body should correspond with who you are as a person. Last time I checked, our personalities are in no way linked to our body composition.

It's not. I was engaged to be married to a 400-pound woman, and her weight had nothing to do with our relationship going sour. I am still very close to her, still care about her, and still worry that one day I will lose her before it is her time to go.

But tell me one reason why the amount of smoke in my lungs should correspond with my loved ones being concerned with my health-- ohh, that's right. Because it's an unhealthy behavior. Just like being obese.

Oh, I've already covered this multiple times. Everybody is concerned with everybody else's health. I got that. Good for you. I've gone beyond that though... to a place where health and longevity in life mean nothing. I want to know why your body composition is better than your ex-fiance's in terms of "happiness" and "acceptance." Why do you deserve happiness and acceptance because you have less fat than her? Explain that to me. (That's what this whole body acceptance thing is about, you know.)

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Btw, is there something in fat that drives others to look down on, shame, and disrespect those who have an excess of it? Maybe a pheromone that causes underdeveloped humans to instinctively react with disgust?

In response to the last bit, that same 'pheromone' must also exist for people who look down on drug addicts, smokers, and people with mental health issues. Being fat is not, nor will it ever be, the only reason to look down on and disrespect others.

I am a bit bewildered that you seem to be putting words in my mouth-- I never once said that I deserve to be "happier" or more "accepted" than my ex. I am also obese, only less so. I have endured just as much bullying as she has.

But you know what I don't want? I don't want people to tell me I'm beautiful the way I am. I don't want people to like me for being fat, to think of me as their "fat friend". I don't want to be 'accepted' for being at an unhealthy weight, and I am NOT happy with the way my body currently is!

Does that mean I have to be at my goal weight to be happy? No. But does that mean I should just embrace my fat self and never strive for something healthier?? That's crazy talk. I will be happier WHEN I am healthier, and that will be at a lower weight!

chuckponygirl

It's unfortunate that being fat isn't frowned upon the way that being a smoker/drinker/other drug user is, because really, it should be.




^ That statement is shameful! Your ex is better off without you. I sure would not want to read a statement like that from someone I love!

No reason to answer, I already know you frown upon me. After all, I am obese. Good thing I don't value your opinion enough to come back to see what you might have to say. Oh wait, that attitude is probably frowned upon too, huh?

postrockandcats

My problem with them is that they try to discourage obese people from losing weight.

That's my thing. Everyone has a right to be happy and comfortable in their own body, and that includes loosing weight if they want.

carolstartingover

My last comment on this. It can be compared to drinking because some people have a glass of wine when they go out once in a while. That does not mean they are getting trashed every night. They can be compared in that respect. A person should not be treated differently unless it causes another person harm. And in the medical profession, these poor nurses have to struggle with people who are very obese. I have the mind of a food addict. I quit acting on it and grab carrots which I don't particularly like but I am trying to find foods that are filling. I eat way too many carbs, but if my calorie count is ok, then I lose. What can happen is a person starts out slightly obese and says they are going to lose weight but they are young and no major things happen. So, then see themselves in a morbidly obese state, knees hurt, they can't walk far. Then another fifty pounds and they can't walk , so no exercise. Then, they give up and ride in a wheelchair. Oh, yes I see it all the time. My cousin died at 50 just like how I said. She was up too 500 and it was sad. She was the nicest cousin I ever had. So, if you are young and thinking that I am old and don't know crap, then you might wonder if you will live that long. I NEVER look at heavy people and think yuck. I love my daughter will all of my heart and would do anything for her. I just don't want to lose her. I cry as I write this. Her birthday is Monday and she will be 37.

Ramberta

And fat acceptance isn't JUST about morbid obesity.

No, but that is the part that I have an issue with. If it were just about people who are considered 'overweight', I would be 100% on board. But once you pass a certain threshold (and again, this is different for everyone), you are not only overweight, you are unhealthy.

My current body fat percentage is 53%. That means that over half my body is composed of pure fat. No matter how you spin it, that is unhealthy! Just because I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure doesn't mean I'm the picture of health. And just because someone is 120 lbs doesn't mean THEY are the picture of health either!

And as beautiful as I think that model is, I would be sickened if anyone told her that losing weight would be a bad idea! The problem with Fat Acceptance is that it goes too far in the opposite direction and becomes reverse discrimination.
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Yeah, but WHY is it wrong for people to feel value and self worth no matter what their weight is? That shouldn't be something a reserve is placed on. If you read all the comments here, you will see a few ended here BECAUSE of FA. It's not about encouraging people not to lose weight, it's about helping people see that people have value and meaning even if they do take up two airplane seats.

It's about overcoming self loathing and accepting that the ideals of other's don't define who you are. That is a liberating experience that empowers people. That seems are more motivational than shaming. Period.
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I messed this up somehow. My reply starts here:

I have never once said that people are unworthy or have no value as an individual if they are fat. Yet again, you are putting words in my mouth. I am not 'shaming' a fat person in my life that I love by telling them I think they would be healthier if they lost a few pounds, or quit smoking, or driving while drunk! I am telling them, "I care about you, and I love you enough to want to keep you around as long as possible." Please tell me how that is shaming.

I am overcoming my own self-loathing because I am taking steps to CHANGE myself for the better (health-wise), and thus have no REASON to loathe my body. It's not just being fat, it's the fact that I didn't take care of myself. I didn't exercise, I ate crappy foods, and I had many many bad lifestyle habits when I went through periods of depression and anxiety, including a dropoff in basic personal hygeine. When I was pushing 300 pounds, eating probably 5-6,000 calories a day, and so depressed and socially avoidant that I hid in my room and skipped class... would you really tell me in complete honesty to love myself and who I was? Or would you try and gently nudge me in a healthier direction?

I do not think that shaming someone is acceptable, but nor do I think it is acceptable to say that someone who is over 350 pounds is perfect just the way they are. Just like I wouldn't tell a girl with anorexia that she's perfect the way she is, and I wouldn't tell someone who did drugs that they're perfect the way they are. There's a difference between support and understanding, and delusion.

Ramberta

It's unfortunate that being fat isn't frowned upon the way that being a smoker/drinker/other drug user is, because really, it should be.




^ That statement is shameful! Your ex is better off without you. I sure would not want to read a statement like that from someone I love!

No reason to answer, I already know you frown upon me. After all, I am obese. Good thing I don't value your opinion enough to come back to see what you might have to say. Oh wait, that attitude is probably frowned upon too, huh?

Personal attack, much? I'm obese too. Thanks for proving my point that everyone makes judgements of others, this "love everyone for who they are" thread is just full of hypocrisy.

tallvanurse

I work in healthcare and am also conflicted about this. People say "It's nobody else's business if I get fat."
Except it is.
When you (general "you") get sick or injured, I have to manually move you from bed to stretcher to commode,etc.
Even with great lifting technique and help from others, I will continue to get hurt. It will be harder us to find an IV site to give you the medications you need and chest tubes and needles are not long enough.
You will be more likely to get a wound infection. Your blood sugar may be more difficult to manage, even if you are not diabetic. If you are a short, round person, we may not be able to fit you into the scanner. It will be difficult to obtain a decent X-ray because of the increased soft tissue.
It will be more difficult for you to walk and move after surgery, so your healing process will be longer.
So my workload will be very increased, and the patient's outcomes will be worse.
I'm not trying to "shame" anyone, I'm just not sure that people realize the consequences of their actions.

ALL OF THIS....I'm not trying to be mean either, these are just facts.

Ramberta

Final thought before I go take my 3 (or more) mile walk that I couldn't do before I lost weight:

I don't think anyone should be discriminated against purely because of their weight. I also don't think that someone classified as "overweight" (NOT obese) should necessarily obsess over losing pounds, or even losing body fat, so long as they are ambulatory and healthy and confident with their own bodies.

But it cannot be denied that the morbidly obese people of the world, whether they are "healthy" (as healthy as one can be when morbidly obese) or not, impact everyone they come into contact with. I will gladly pay taxes to help give health care to these people, and I will see these people for the individuals that they are instead of a sack of fat, but I draw the line at ENCOURAGING them to stay the way they are, or even encouraging them to get fatter. Say all you want about the noble principles of Fat Acceptance, but the reality is that it is convincing people that being fat is not only okay from a health perspective, but that it is desired!

I don't know about you, but I desire to be able to run a mile someday without stopping even once. A whole mile. Right now it seems impossible, but I know that if I treat my body right, I will do it. I also desire to be able to lift heavy someday, to have more energy, and to feel like an unstoppable force capable of anything.

If people constantly placated me and told me I was fine the way I am now, I would never have these desires. I would continue to treat my body badly, and have a shortened life because of it. That is why I am against Fat Acceptance. Instead, I am into People Acceptance. I accept and appreciate the input and debates of everyone on this thread so far, and I hope the OP does as well. Have a pleasant day everyone.

mmddwechanged

On here, I'm pretty much the unpopular opinion when it comes to issues like this, but I appreciate the fat acceptance movement (which is ultimately part of a larger movement that promotes being body-positive in general). I don't think it's encouraging anybody to be fat or stay fat or get fatter or whatever. I think what it does is it helps people who are fat and are constantly belittled about their weight feel better about themselves. I was (and still am) fat, and the movement has helped me come to understand that whether or not I lose weight SHOULDN'T determine my worth as a human being – although it sadly does. We tend to correlate a person's size with their worth (something losing weight has made me become painfully aware of). You should be able to be fat and still be awesome and look pretty and feel good about yourself.

Fat people are reminded constantly, in even the subtlest ways, that they don't belong. I don't thing it's wrong to remind them that they do and encourage them to embrace themselves, fat or not. It doesn't make fat people suddenly love their bodies and the idea that they mindlessly believe that fat is beautiful and they're healthy the way they are is ridiculous. Fat people who are a part of the FA movement still tend to feel pretty crappy about themselves, because outside of the movement, which is a fairly small community compared to the general public, they are still reminded that they should feel like crap.

I love all of this^. And 100% agree with you! I have absolutely no right to judge other people. ). Nor would it be helpful to others or myself.