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blackmagic25
blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
in Chit-Chat
So my buddy has been married for about 6 six months and lately he's been telling me he's not happy and that he's wants to leave his wife. I tell him to stay because he had a kid with her but he tells me he misses the old days when we use to hangout all the time and well when he was free to do whatever. He's my best friend and I want the best for him that's why I'm here asking people that are married or think they know what he should do so I can help also since I am friends with his wife it kinda sucks that he tells me that. anyways input would really help thanks :)
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Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Stay out of it?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    How old is he and why did he marry her? Was he trying to "do the right thing" because she was pregnant?
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
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    Ouch. Maybe you should tell him to talk to his wife, not you.
  • blackmagic25
    blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
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    he's 22
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    He shouldn't have married her if he's that young and thinking of the "good old days"
  • blackmagic25
    blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
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    I told him not to get married because he's trying to grow up to fast I wanted him to stay single but two years again he was saying he loved her and she moved in pretty quick
  • kjoy_
    kjoy_ Posts: 316 Member
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    he made his bed, let him lie in it. he made a promise for life and if he's too immature to handle that then let him drain his bank account getting a divorce and deal with the stress of raising the child of a divorce himself.
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    simple man up whos he going to cuddle you or wife
  • blackmagic25
    blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
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    haha that's what I am saying but he's my boy and well I wanted to respect his decision no matter what I thought
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    And this kids, is why you always use protection, unless you are ready to become a husband and father!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I told him not to get married because he's trying to grow up to fast I wanted him to stay single but two years again he was saying he loved her and she moved in pretty quick

    Not your problem.


    ETA: I am not being snarky
  • blackmagic25
    blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
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    simple man up whos he going to cuddle you or wife
    damn haha not even like that he's like my brother we known each other since 1st grade
  • TTHdred
    TTHdred Posts: 380 Member
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    first let me say I agree with two answers already posted. You should stay out of it and tell him to talk to his wife about how he feels. That's really the only way.

    Wanting a divorce because he wants to hang out like he used to is a bit immature. And based on the age you just listed that explains why. He can't hangout as he did because he has kid, not because he is married. My husband and I have been married for 9 years and I go hangout whenever I want....sometimes with him, sometimes without. BUT we don't have kids.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
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    if he has a kid with her...tell him to grow a pair and man up cause his wild days are over. not saying he has to stay in the marriage- but he seems to not understand that he has to put his kid before himself.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    And this kids, is why you always use protection, unless you are ready to become a husband and father!

    Having a kid doesn't mean you have to stay in a relationship where you are not happy or you don't want to be.

    This is not a dress rehearsal. You don't get a second chance. So you made a mistake. It doesn't mean you have to be miserable with it for the rest of your life.
  • blackmagic25
    blackmagic25 Posts: 227 Member
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    And this kids, is why you always use protection, unless you are ready to become a husband and father!
    we can say that all day but it doesn't happen
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    And this kids, is why you always use protection, unless you are ready to become a husband and father!
    we can say that all day but it doesn't happen

    Indeed.

    And not using protection and getting pregnant doesn't mean you have to propose OR stay with the gal you knocked up.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    He wants to leave so he can go play the field, then what is going to happen? He will meet some other chick, get her pregnant and have TWO babies to support. He needs to grow up, and fast. And if you are a good friend, you will want him to do right by his wife and child. We all make decisions we regret later, but you don't just walk out on responsibilities because you wanna go play.
  • padipaddy
    padipaddy Posts: 12
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    tell him to run like ****e off a shovel. This is not a practice, you get one chance make the most of it. If he is not happy now its unlikely he will not be happy next year.
  • MaraPN
    MaraPN Posts: 66 Member
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    He has some soulsearching to do.What does he really want? If it's just the hanging out
    maybe you'll could get together once a week or so.
    If it's more than that he should asked himself if he really wants to give up his
    family to hang out with friends.
    And your involvement, you can give him advice or just stand by him as a friend but that should be it.

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