How to dump a guy without being mean?

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n2thenight24
n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
in Chit-Chat
But still making him understand it's really truly over. I tried the "it's not you, it's me" it didn't go so well. Help a sister out.
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  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    "I am sorry, but we are just moving in two different directions. You want X and I want Y. It isnt fair for either of us to have to ignore what we want to appease the other, that will only lead to resentment in the future. There is nothing wrong with either of us, we just need to accept that it isnt going to work and move on from there. I think you are a wonderful guy amd I wish you alk the happiness in the world."
  • Flickenstein
    Flickenstein Posts: 88
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    just tell him you are banging flickenstein now and he will understand
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Text message.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Text, email, IM, twitter, Instagram, FB.
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    Text message.

    Did that. FB message as well. Also set my status to "Single" annnnd unfriended him. Can it get any more clear in this day and age?
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    if you have done it nicely....and he's not getting it....then you just may have to get mean...

    it's hard......but some men need that....

    they really do.
  • dezcast
    dezcast Posts: 429 Member
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    Your more into petting the cat....he may ask to watch tho
  • OneEyeUp
    OneEyeUp Posts: 373 Member
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    Cold Turkey. Doing it nicely makes us guys think that there might be something left. If you do it cold turkey, and blunt, i'll get the picture and never call again. Try it. It sounds mean, but its actually the only way that works.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    "I'm breaking up with you"......
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Just tell him the truth. You don't see it going anywhere, you're just not happy in the relationship anymore etc.
    That’s what I did. I told my ex that while he was a great guy, he wasn’t the right person for me. It got to the point where our whole relationship was a series of compromises from both of us, and it wasn’t worth it. So I told him exactly that, no hard feelings.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    But still making him understand it's really truly over. I tried the "it's not you, it's me" it didn't go so well. Help a sister out.

    Ok, To avoid getting a strike I am going to be very general about my response....If you need more detail PM me and I can help.


    Invite a friend who is a girl over and "hang out" with all three of you.....

    Then tell him that it's not him it's you and you have decided you like girls instead

    He might be disappointed but he will be so happy about "hanging out" with you and your friend he will get over it.
  • VryIrishGirl76
    VryIrishGirl76 Posts: 1,167 Member
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    I feel your pain, am in the same situation at the moment.....I'm leaning towards no contact at the moment.
    It's just too painful....especially when they want you back....
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    Move
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
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    Send Taylor Swift to his house to do it for you.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Wait... What is he still doing? Is he acting like you simply didn't break up? Begging for a second chance? Stalking?


    After all you've done, I'm baffled.
  • Legs_McGee
    Legs_McGee Posts: 845 Member
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    Get a restraining order. "Turns out it really is you, not me."
  • nygrl4evr
    nygrl4evr Posts: 196 Member
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    Cut off all contact with him. Seriously, do not try to be his friend right now. He is thinking you two still have a chance. My daughter had to do that because the guy kept asking to get back together. He couldn't understand the "just friends thing". It sounds mean but may be the only way.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    Text message.

    Did that. FB message as well. Also set my status to "Single" annnnd unfriended him. Can it get any more clear in this day and age?

    Two words: restraining order.

    In all seriousness, cutting off contact completely may be your best bet.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    "Hey, you don't seem to be getting the message and I don't want to be mean but your behavior is stressing me out and making me unhappy. Our relationship is over and I don't want to pursue a friendship".

    Then stop responding to him, block him if you have to.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    Tell him you are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like ever.

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