White guy who 'loves' black women.

squatsandlipgloss

Man, the people in this thread are crazy sensitive! Everybody chill out.

This white guy sounds like he is trying way too hard and I can get where the OP is coming from. My best friend in high school (biracial) used to get these idiots who tried to impress her by focusing in on her race and how special she was because of it. I guess they thought they were being sensitive or reassuring her or something. I witnessed this first hand and it sounded similar to the description OP is giving - they used words like strong and exotic too. She didn't want or need to be desired for her race or to be reassured that she's ok even though she's X, Y, or Z. She wanted to be seen as an individual.

P.S. Taunto, recognizing when someone is attractive or hot doesn't mean you desire them or are a perv. It means you have eyeballs and you can see how others would find them desirable. I can see that my own sister is a very sexy woman. That doesn't mean that I want to get down with her. Gimme a break!

^^ Couldn't have said it better. This is exactly what people fail the understand in this thread.

joselo2

It is reassuring that some people at least sort of get where I am coming from. Like, it is just sort of patronising to a black woman to be treated this way.

I know I may not have been totally fair or rational, just stating my feeling. I'm not a bad guy really. I don't feel like defending myself about not being racist, I don't need to prove that, it is just a fact. You already made your views about me, whatever. Sorry if I offended people... this always happens when i dare mention race.

thebzax

Hahaha so many white people crying over the race card. "It's not just whites!!!" Urgh please read a book.

Oh and by the way, I find fetishising someone based on race really creepy. White saviour complex comes to mind.

MercenaryNoetic26

That's his "game" lol Maybe it's worked a couple times and he's sticking with it. I'm thinking of Malibu's Most Wanted Jamie Kennedy character. You described something out of that flick. Lol

squatsandlipgloss

It is reassuring that some people at least sort of get where I am coming from. Like, it is just sort of patronising to a black woman to be treated this way.

I know I may not have been totally fair or rational, just stating my feeling. I'm not a bad guy really. I don't feel like defending myself about not being racist, I don't need to prove that, it is just a fact. You already made your views about me, whatever. Sorry if I offended people... this always happens when i dare mention race.

It is patronising, it is like saying our race and color is the only thing worth talking about, when we have other great qualities. Often, they won't even take the time to ask about US, but constantly shower us with compliments about our looks. Come on...

But, on the other hand, I do think you should try not to worry about it too much. I am pretty sure your sister can stand up for herself just fine, and she sees right through these guys

MrsSassyPants

I would never ask people on MFP this question. Precisely because of all the B.S. that you are having to listen to. I can't even believe I'm commenting except to say "trust your instincts" you may be right. If not, does it really matter?

jenilla1

Hahaha so many white people crying over the race card.

For serious! Everybody's pulling the card these days. I'm gonna piss off all the crybabies, but everywhere I go these days there's somebody (frequently a white person but not always) whining about how bad they've got it and how they suffer so because of racism or some other sort of discrimination. It's freaking embarassing. I wish everybody would just grow up and get on with their lives. :flowerforyou:

P.S. - OP, the bird cartoon in your profile is hilarious.

dixiewhiskey

Some racial tensions up in here, holy... sounds like some of you have had bad experiences but there really isn't anything wrong with someone wanting to talk to someone cause they are Chinese or purple or whatever. Guy in all honesty was probably a player (or a slimeball) but those types of men come in all races and sizes.

You never did answer about how your sister felt about that guy?

dixiewhiskey

Hahaha so many white people crying over the race card.

I wish everybody would just grow up and get on with their lives. :flowerforyou:

Best post :drinker:

supplemama

I get where you are coming from OP. I totally understand what you mean. My husband is white and I have dated men of various races/ethnicities before him. There are two types of people who date/marry interracially: those who fetishize people of racial groups different than theirs and those who recognize that people are people regardless of their skin color and simply date who they are attracted to. BIG difference. I never dated fetish men because they are creepy and strange and off-putting from the start; in how they approach you. I don't want to be liked because you presume I am a 'type' and/or you think I have attributes and characteristics I may or may not have.

Cr01502

I am not saying you are. It is the fact you say you don't think its possible for anyone to be that I am curious about.

This is what I'm curious about.

How is black on white racism debatable?

rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
Noun
The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, esp. so as to distinguish it as...
Prejudice or discrimination directed against someone of a different race based on such a belief.

The fact that you think this is debatable only reiterates the underlying tone of the message.

I do understand your objection to dating your sister but the fact of the matter is he's a *kitten*. He just happens to be a white *kitten*.

I know plenty of black guys who date white women as well. And ONLY white women. More power to them. It's what they're attracted to.

MrsSassyPants

I get where you are coming from OP. I totally understand what you mean. My husband is white and I have dated men of various races/ethnicities before him. There are two types of people who date/marry interracially: those who fetishize people of racial groups different than theirs and those who recognize that people are people regardless of their skin color and simply date who they are attracted to. BIG difference. I never dated fetish men because they are creepy and strange and off-putting from the start; in how they approach you. I don't want to be liked because you presume I am a 'type' and/or you think I have attributes and characteristics I may or may not have.



Exactly.

dixiewhiskey

I am not saying you are. It is the fact you say you don't think its possible for anyone to be that I am curious about.

This is what I'm curious about.

How is black on white racism debatable?

rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
Noun
The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, esp. so as to distinguish it as...
Prejudice or discrimination directed against someone of a different race based on such a belief.

The fact that you think this is debatable only reiterates the underlying tone of the message.

I do understand your objection to dating your sister but the fact of the matter is he's a *kitten*. He just happens to be a white *kitten*.

I know plenty of black guys who date white women as well. And ONLY white women. More power to them. It's what they're attracted to.

Well said! AND :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: at that image.

joselo2

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

squatsandlipgloss

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

sz8soon

It is reassuring that some people at least sort of get where I am coming from. Like, it is just sort of patronising to a black woman to be treated this way.

I know I may not have been totally fair or rational, just stating my feeling. I'm not a bad guy really. I don't feel like defending myself about not being racist, I don't need to prove that, it is just a fact. You already made your views about me, whatever. Sorry if I offended people... this always happens when i dare mention race.

I get the fetish part- that isn't my issue with your statements. I would whole heartedly agree that this occurs and is unfair. It's also not just a black-white thing as another poster pointed out many "races/cultures" seem to do this. It's the fact you seem to contradict yourself often. Or you just did a crappy job of getting your thoughts across and people were quick to fill in the blanks with how they took it.

dixiewhiskey

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

Because you know who has experienced this and who hasn't... So many assumptions!!!!!

squatsandlipgloss

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

Because you know who has experienced this and who hasn't... So many assumptions!!!!!

Oh and you are not assuming that I am talking about certain people?

joselo2

It is reassuring that some people at least sort of get where I am coming from. Like, it is just sort of patronising to a black woman to be treated this way.

I know I may not have been totally fair or rational, just stating my feeling. I'm not a bad guy really. I don't feel like defending myself about not being racist, I don't need to prove that, it is just a fact. You already made your views about me, whatever. Sorry if I offended people... this always happens when i dare mention race.

I get the fetish part- that isn't my issue with your statements. I would whole heartedly agree that this occurs and is unfair. It's also not just a black-white thing as another poster pointed out many "races/cultures" seem to do this. It's the fact you seem to contradict yourself often. Or you just did a crappy job of getting your thoughts across and people were quick to fill in the blanks with how they took it.

Do I contradict myself? If so it is because I am weighing up different sides. I did not come here with a fully formed view, no point in asking if I had. Maybe I did do a 'crappy' job. I am not an academically gifted man, my intelligence is low, this is a fact. I hope that dosen't undermine my view though, I have enough brains to form a reasoned view, maybe just not excellent at expressing it.

dixiewhiskey

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

I'm glad you talked to her about it. Sounds like she was able to handle herself.

The image provided mild humour cause the thread was getting too serious.

dixiewhiskey

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

Because you know who has experienced this and who hasn't... So many assumptions!!!!!

Oh and you are not assuming that I am talking about certain people?

I don't care who you are talking about to be frank, just making a general observation.

Cr01502

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Your sister laughed it off. As should you.

I think the main issue with this guy that you have is that he objectifies women and this woman happens to be your sister. And I don't blame you.

I think your original post just expressed this poorly because the fact of the matter is that in all races there are specific people within those races that like to date other races. This doesn't make them predators or people that objectify those races.

Like I said before: The guy sounds like a *kitten*.

luvred51

Joselo2, I agree with your last paragraph were you stated and I quote, " or if it just the drink, aah." :laugh: :laugh: I think it was your drink or drinks too. Thanks for the laugh. :bigsmile:

squatsandlipgloss

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

Because you know who has experienced this and who hasn't... So many assumptions!!!!!

Oh and you are not assuming that I am talking about certain people?

I don't care who you are talking about to be frank, just making a general observation.

If you don't care, why decide to post about it? Twice.

MercenaryNoetic26

I get where you are coming from OP. I totally understand what you mean. My husband is white and I have dated men of various races/ethnicities before him. There are two types of people who date/marry interracially: those who fetishize people of racial groups different than theirs and those who recognize that people are people regardless of their skin color and simply date who they are attracted to. BIG difference. I never dated fetish men because they are creepy and strange and off-putting from the start; in how they approach you. I don't want to be liked because you presume I am a 'type' and/or you think I have attributes and characteristics I may or may not have.

Well said. Agreed.

joselo2

Joselo2, I agree with your last paragraph were you stated and I quote, " or if it just the drink, aah." :laugh: :laugh: I think it was your drink or drinks too. Thanks for the laugh. :bigsmile:

oh righ aaah right, least I got a little moderation to my views, no need to laugh at me

squatsandlipgloss

I get where you are coming from OP. I totally understand what you mean. My husband is white and I have dated men of various races/ethnicities before him. There are two types of people who date/marry interracially: those who fetishize people of racial groups different than theirs and those who recognize that people are people regardless of their skin color and simply date who they are attracted to. BIG difference. I never dated fetish men because they are creepy and strange and off-putting from the start; in how they approach you. I don't want to be liked because you presume I am a 'type' and/or you think I have attributes and characteristics I may or may not have.

Well said. Agreed.

Very much agreed, too.

sz8soon

Don't judge other's if thou shall not want their self to be judged.

dixiewhiskey

I agree that people shouldnt be too offended about race, and look for offense.

Yeah, my sister just laughed it off mostly, kinda found him annoying.

Well some define racism as prejudice plus power, and there is a power imbalance there. But whatever, I don't suppose I am changing any minds on this, I have known this debate before.

Sassy gifs/images don't prove anything.

Again: don't get too upset about it. And don't get upset about people who have no idea what you are talking about because they never experienced it

Because you know who has experienced this and who hasn't... So many assumptions!!!!!

Oh and you are not assuming that I am talking about certain people?

I don't care who you are talking about to be frank, just making a general observation.

If you don't care, why decide to post about it? Twice.

I have insomnia and this thread is entertaining. I enjoy challenging people when I'm bored.

HeidiMightyRawr

I don't really see an issue. He obviously has a strong type, I think a lot of us do.

In my eyes, it's a little creepy that he went straight towards her showering her with a million compliments and whatnot but that's nothing to do with the race. I can also see why you'd feel a bit annoyed if he's making her feel like she should be grateful for any good attention, but again, that happens within all races.

Yes there will be stereotypes usually. Before you get to know a person and chat to them, you judge them based upon their looks only, and whether you like it or not there are usually a few assumptions in there.