I Need A Man's Opinion
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All my guy friends would bed you but they wouldn't date you because of your weight...
Your guy friends sound like a-holes.
aholes because they have a certain preference on what they want? that is a bit harsh don't you think?
If you think someone is atractive enought to have an erection, and bed you , why wouldnt u date someone ? Ive met alot of *kitten* like that when i was younger, its mindless insecure pep who live according to everyone else standards , ( friends, family ) that want their frendos to be impress. Theres some women like that too.0 -
All my guy friends would bed you but they wouldn't date you because of your weight...
Your guy friends sound like a-holes.
aholes because they have a certain preference on what they want? that is a bit harsh don't you think?
No. I don't. It's my opinion that her stated fact that EVERY guy friend she has would sleep with her but not date her because of her weight is either a really general and possibly misguided assumption, or a bunch of guys that sound like a-holes.0 -
Oh, and because this is always important to remember --
amen!0 -
Best to keep your sanity is to not ask peoples opinion , the only conclusion that you will get , no matter what the subject is, is that there is alot of selfish , shallow , and evil people in the world.0
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A woman I know, a girlfriend of a friend, I'm guessing she's probably 300 or more. She is (not a word of a lie) one very attractive woman. Here's why:
Everytime I see her, she has a huge smile, offers a little hug, glad to see you, very very positve, stays very well groomed (always sharply dressed) and just carries herself with an enormous amount of confidence. Not once have I ever heard this woman complain, ***** or moan about anything. Nothing negative. When you part company with her, you leave feeling good about yourself. And this is the way she is with everyone.
My buddy is a really lucky guy to be with her, and they have a great relationship. I and many others have told him that, and he knows.
Weight has NOTHING to do with the quality of a good relationship.
Off course it takes some years to mature, to have his opinion. He probably didnt had this opinion at 18.... Did you ?0 -
All my guy friends would bed you but they wouldn't date you because of your weight...
Your guy friends sound like a-holes.
aholes because they have a certain preference on what they want? that is a bit harsh don't you think?
No. I don't. It's my opinion that her stated fact that EVERY guy friend she has would sleep with her but not date her because of her weight is either a really general and possibly misguided assumption, or a bunch of guys that sound like a-holes.
I agree. Sure, a guy can have the right to not be attracted to someone for whatever reason, but to say they would do them, but not be seen in public with them, is typical High School D-bag mentality. Fortunately most men eventually grow up, altho some never do.0 -
Some men would and some men wouldn't.
That is crazy talk.0 -
or a pickle...
I always think about a pickle when I see your profile pic.0 -
A woman I know, a girlfriend of a friend, I'm guessing she's probably 300 or more. She is (not a word of a lie) one very attractive woman. Here's why:
Everytime I see her, she has a huge smile, offers a little hug, glad to see you, very very positve, stays very well groomed (always sharply dressed) and just carries herself with an enormous amount of confidence. Not once have I ever heard this woman complain, ***** or moan about anything. Nothing negative. When you part company with her, you leave feeling good about yourself. And this is the way she is with everyone.
My buddy is a really lucky guy to be with her, and they have a great relationship. I and many others have told him that, and he knows.
Weight has NOTHING to do with the quality of a good relationship.
Off course it takes some years to mature, to have his opinion. He probably didnt had this opinion at 18.... Did you ?
Yep. Well said. I wish I could have jumped into a time machine and talked to my 20 year old self. Women mature earlier than men. That's a fact. My head didn't get pulled pulled out of the sand till I was probably 30.
LOL ....
Takes more or less the same time for a women to understand the same. 0 -
Not a guy, but I want to weigh in in a motherly way.
I once heard someone say, and this is not verbatim, but you'll get the jist: Women may attract men with their looks, but they keep them with their personality.
It's pretty much what others have said, but I like how this was stated. I don't care how gorgeous you are, if you are lacking on the inside, it won't matter much beyond just a quick roll in the hay.
Big hugs0 -
As someone who's been on both sides of the weight coin - yes, men IN GENERAL (not every single one of them, just the majority) prefer smaller women when looking for serious relationships. For casual relationships, they're much less discriminating.0
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Oh, and because this is always important to remember --
Can I get an Amen?! AMEN!0 -
All my guy friends would bed you but they wouldn't date you because of your weight...
Your guy friends sound like a-holes.
They just sound like guys to me0 -
How YOU doin'?????
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Who cares about the majority? Many people like different shapes and many people don't care about the shape as long as you're into what they're into and some people are into the shapes that are usually into the things they're into because well in all honesty if you met a runner and you're into running and you weren't running before you're not going to stay the same shape.I'm not insecure at all (maybe a little). I really just want to know if weight really matters to most men.
I have a couple of guy friends who wouldn't date people who looked out of shape simply because they were hyper active moving activity freaks. If I were the girl on the other end, I wouldn't take offense to it. It makes a lot of sense.
That and some people relate size with health issues which makes sense as well, big or small.0 -
And you all seem to think you have psychology degrees and couldn't stay on topic to save your lives.WTF does this have to do with insecurities ? She asked a simple question if you can't answer it gtfo. Some men are chubby chasers and some are into the boney shapeless look. I am sure you are losing weight for yourself and just wondering what men generally think. You should find a man that wants to work out and be healthy with you. But right now stay single and say screw relationships
Whoa. I feel like you need a cookie... or a pickle... or a random happy place like McDonalds.
I feel this is not the forum for you.
OP I have friends who date larger women and friends who date smaller women - and they all say it just depends on the personality of the woman.
Yeah weight matter to some men, in the same way we are all attracted to different types. I really don't think it is the be all and end all of the decision to date someone for most people.0 -
"bony shapeless look"?WTF does this have to do with insecurities ? She asked a simple question if you can't answer it gtfo. Some men are chubby chasers and some are into the boney shapeless look. I am sure you are losing weight for yourself and just wondering what men generally think. You should find a man that wants to work out and be healthy with you. But right now stay single and say screw relationships0 -
At this point, would you have a relationship with someone who looked like me, or would you want me to lose more weight first? I am going to continue to lose weight, but I want to know what men really think of me now. Thanks
-Rachel
You look great the way you are. All of us have some "tweaking" to do to ourselves, whether it's our bodies, personalities, intellect, etc. You have to continue to be the best Reptile Rachel you can be. And everything will work out fine. And for the record, I was once in a relationship with a heavier person. We didn't break up because of her weight. We broke up because I was an a##hole.0 -
Well this blew up rather nicely. Kudos to all involved.0
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Self doubt is the biggest boner killer, lady!
That is a fact! Listen up ladies!0 -
What you need right now, more than any man's opinion, is to know that any person worth your time and energy will value you for the person that you are over everything else. The guys that wouldn't date you right now because of your weight, are likely the same guys who'd be upset if you ever gained at any point during your relationship because "you aren't the person I feel in love with". I mean, is that really a road you want to go down?
In my experience, men seem to prefer women who are confident in their imperfection. They like women who aren't worried how bad their body looks during sex, they like women who aren't afraid to try new hobbies and laugh at themselves, -- they like women who take care of themselves without constantly worrying if they are unattractive.
Not every guy out there is going to be physically attracted to you no matter what you weigh, so why worry about it? Some would date you, others wouldn't -- that will be true when you lose 65 pounds. Point is: you are worth being loved no matter what. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking that thinness makes you more worthy -- it doesn't.0 -
I wouldn't date you because you're only 18..if that old.0
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You need to quit worrying and start/keep working out. We all know that the politically correct answer to your question is "weight doesn't matter", but that kind of answer can be used as an excuse to skip an exercise or eat one extra meal of junk food. Let's not make an inventory of excuses. I know because I used to have a bag full of excuses.0
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all guys are different. Each has a different "type" of woman they are attracted too. In college my roomates and I always had different types so luckly we never went after the same ones. I preferred active, another preferred the punk style chick, and another liked meat on their bones (no incredibly skinny chicks).
So I would say just take comment with a grain of salt and don't look to much into them since you are a getting a small sample of guys opinions. No guy is going to want to Date anyone based off looks, they will date based on interests and personality.0 -
Not worth it.
Edited to simply say, bony is a shape.0 -
wow well said0
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Okay let's stop everyone. This blew up quickly and I don't aappreciate it. I think you guys didn't understand my question. End. Of. Subject.0
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You are a very beautiful YOUNG lady. At your age it's really not a time for serious relationships. It's all about learning who you are and having fun.
Men want to date women who are confident within themselves, as another poster said. If you THINK that you need to be thinner to have that confidence, then perhaps putting dating on the shelve for the time isn't a bad idea.
You don't want your insecurity to lead you to being taken advantage of.
Men love women of all shapes and sizes. Some men, you might not be their cup of tea. Other men might think you are sexy as hell.0 -
Man, some of you guys are just downright cruel. You should be ashamed of yourselves.0
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Telling an insecure person that insecurity = unattractive can sometimes make that insecure person even more insecure because of their previous insecurities and now new insecurities about being insecure.
...... Did that make sense?
Either way, just speaking as somebody who is extremely insecure who tends to feel even worse any time somebody says that it's not cute. Because, I mean... if it was really as easy as "Okay, I'm not going to be insecure anymore", then I don't think it would be a problem for anybody. But it is a problem because it's not just something that you can turn off.
Here's another kicker telling an insecure person the are attractive can = more insecurity.
Oh damn didnt see your age NVM
However I will say this being an overweight woman does put you at a disadvantage it's not fair but neither is life.0
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