Peer pressure to eat unhealthfully. . .

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  • ParisArkw
    ParisArkw Posts: 186
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    I really don't get the peer pressure with food thing. Maybe it's because I'm not that social? What's the worst that will happen if you said "no"? They fight you? Food isn't meant to be a tool to inflict guilt, it's meant to sustain you. If you want to enjoy whatever social event you're at with a piece of candy, do it. If not, then don't.
    I appreciate that you think it's that simple. Which, when you get down to it, it is. It's as simple as you make it. But I'm very conscientious of other peoples' feelings, I avoid friction, and yes, that has resulted in me making some bad decisions. But I'm at a transitional point, and I was merely looking for input on that transition.

    Why should you let other people's feelings affect your goals? They aren't you. At the end of the day, all this guilt will have you making a post on MFP about it and they won't even remember you ate the candy.
    Well, that's the thing, isn't it? I shouldn't let other peoples' feelings affect my goals. Which is what I'm confronting in THIS post.

    Hopefully this thread is inspiring you then.

    Btw - You don't need to be defensive when you put something out there for people to give opinions on. Especially if it's something you realize you need/want to change about yourself. Maybe I'm misinterpreting your tone. /shrug

    You seem to be doing quiet well on here standing up for yourself maybe take some of this gumption with you? Whatever you are feeling to be able to back and forth with your bold words do it in real life?
    Duude...that was extremely observant of you, and reading that was actually kind of really profound. I very much do want to have the same kind of gumption in real life. I severely lack self-confidence, but that is true, I have it in me somewhere, don't I? Thanks, much, for pointing that out. . . :D

    aaaaaaand it's different in person. Just sayin'. But you can do it I think you are just on your way. People will stop pushing stuff on you when you've been doing it for awhile, they know you're serious, and the results show. I notice my thin friend no one ever questions her food choices but mine are constantly under attack, no matter if it's ooh that's bad for you, or oooh you're not eating enough. Like the simple fact of my extra pounds lets everyone else trump me. Nevermind that I've already lost weight in the past twice in my long life and kept it off for years.

    You just look like a problem to someone when you share your weight loss efforts/goals and everyone loves to "help" right? I find it's better not to divulge too much with too many people because then in come all their ideas and things they just heard on TV all unfiltered for hurt feelings and just regurgitated to prove they know something about the subject.
    This is true, too. Man, it's kind of annoying to think of it that way. Even if people don't mean it deliberately, when they push food on you, thinking, "they're overweigh/not skinnyt, they obviously don't care." But annoying in a good way, ha! It makes me feel more defensive about putting up a wall around my healthy eating. :]
  • Fit_Mama84
    Fit_Mama84 Posts: 234 Member
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    It depends on who's offering the food. Sometimes I politely decline, other times I give an explanation, and sometimes I do what another poster suggested and take the treat "for later" and toss it when no one is looking.
  • magpie0
    magpie0 Posts: 194 Member
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    Whether this is extreme or not, I do not know. I am taking the AA approach to chocolate by saying that I have an 'allergy' to it and that I cannot control myself around it.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Screw it all!! Throw it on the floor,stomp on it and start running in circles FTW!!!!!!!
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
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    I have this problem with alcohol more than food (but an empty calorie is an empty calorie!) I work in a bar and it's constantly "oh, just one shot! Here, have a free beer!" I'm not a big drinker even when I'm not dieting, but in the past I've usually just said yes to avoid the argument. Now, though, I really don't care what they think. I'm just saying "I'm on a diet. Alcohol has a ton of calories. I don't want to screw up my diet, okay?" I hear a lot of crap about being no fun and that kind of thing, but I'd rather be no fun and skinny than fat and drinking. I don't like alcohol enough to make it worth more than one drink on the weekend or whatever.
  • ParisArkw
    ParisArkw Posts: 186
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    Whether this is extreme or not, I do not know. I am taking the AA approach to chocolate by saying that I have an 'allergy' to it and that I cannot control myself around it.
    I'd been too self-conscious to want to share about my borderline-binge episodes. But I realized I will probably have to do this, too. I will tell people, "it might just be this one chocolate, but I will go home and eat everything, or I will go to the grocery store to get more, because of this chocolate." Because that is kind of what would happen to me. 8\
  • ParisArkw
    ParisArkw Posts: 186
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    Screw it all!! Throw it on the floor,stomp on it and start running in circles FTW!!!!!!!
    Hahahaha. Picturing myself at the casual-formal theatre we were at and doing this...I would've been such a scandal, but it would have been so awesome. XD
  • ParisArkw
    ParisArkw Posts: 186
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    I'd rather be no fun and skinny than fat and drinking.

    Amen to that!
  • hooee71
    hooee71 Posts: 8 Member
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    Eat what you want to eat. Let them eat what they want to eat. The really funny one is my dad... who told me often how overweight I was, then told me to have seconds because it would make my mom happy. LOL

    Eat what you want or feel good about eating; don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
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    Just say "No, thank you." It's that simple. Remember, this is your life that you are concerned about and if your peers are pressuring you to stray from your goal, then you need to exert some power.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i think you need top lean just because you say no to people doesnt mean they wont like you. feeling pressure to say yes even though you dont want to is ultimately about wanting to please people.

    those who are your friends or who love you for you won;t be offended by you saying no i dont want that. if they are, then fuggem.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I find the best thing is to say you don't feel like it, make some excuse. I get that when I don't want to drink a lot of alcohol - I only want one?!?! It's like I'm crazy (Australian culture). I say I just don't feel like it today, and people eventually back off.

    :laugh:
    Oh very un-australian of you - just kidding! I get the same thing. Or if I say I will have ONE my friend will come out with a FISHBOWL of a glass :grumble: When she goes inside sometimes to top up her drink I tip mine in the garden.

    It's hard to say no around people but you can do this - eventually they will back off.
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
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    I'm glad you posted this. I realized that sometimes when I'm confronted with a similar situation, I feel a need to give an explanation about why I don't want to eat something, especially when it's a thing that I really like (i.e., sweets, french fries, wine, soul food). But then I feel a little embarrassed about my explanation because my body doesn't reflect one who doesn't eat those things. I often end up saying fugg it and eat. It's a vicious cycle. But from now on, as suggested here, I'm simply going to say, "No thank you!" :noway:
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Whether this is extreme or not, I do not know. I am taking the AA approach to chocolate by saying that I have an 'allergy' to it and that I cannot control myself around it.
    I'd been too self-conscious to want to share about my borderline-binge episodes. But I realized I will probably have to do this, too. I will tell people, "it might just be this one chocolate, but I will go home and eat everything, or I will go to the grocery store to get more, because of this chocolate." Because that is kind of what would happen to me. 8\

    This is the problem with making excuses and feeling like you owe people explanations. You don't. You are not obligated to eat everything people throw at you, and I personally do not like to be put in a position where I have to lie just to make someone feel better. A simple "no, but thanks" will eventually sink in, especially if you mean it.
  • hdlb
    hdlb Posts: 333 Member
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    I have a perfect excuse now, Chrohns disease (set off by multiple triggers) as well as some food allergies and no one who knows me ever offers me food anymore. But thats not a usefull excuse for everyone lol.

    But it wasn't always that way. For the first 6 years of my marriage, my MIL, FIL and my husband grandma (she was by far the worst) were horrible food pushers. Eventually they got used to me saying "Not right now", or "No thanks", and stopped pushing, but it took a long long time. But I didn't give in. I'm not going to eat something that I don't want when I'm not hungry just because someone is pushing it on me, its my body, not thiers.
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
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    Say thanks, but I can't, as have to watch my sugar levels.
  • REDI4CHANGE60
    REDI4CHANGE60 Posts: 170
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    Bump
  • LillyBoots
    LillyBoots Posts: 114 Member
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    I've been using a very blunt, some what sarcastic approach that has been working "No thanks, I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm fat and I'd like to change that"
  • aronao
    aronao Posts: 112 Member
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    Dear OP

    Don't let others sabotage your goals or your efforts. A simple "no thanks" should be enough, if these people care about you they should respect your answer. Other answers you could give them "no thanks, if I eat that now I'm going to have to run for an hour later", "my doctor told me if I don't lose weight I'm going to get very sick so no more junk", "thanks but I just found out that im allergic to <insert offered junk food here>"?
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    I'm kind of a jerk about it. I pull out my phone and google the calorie content of whatever it is they are asking me to eat, then I announce how many calories are in the darn thing to the whole room and compare to other healthy foods. I don't do this with people's home made treats, of course. But store bought junk food? Hell yeah, I'll announce all the terrible things about the item, then go on a tirade about the causes of obesity and type 2 diabetes and hypertension and heart attack and stroke and whatever else I can come up with. I'll start quoting numbers in inches instead of pounds, because most obese people have no idea they are obese. For instance a woman with a waist larger than 34" is obese and a man with a wait of more than 39" is obese (unless they are unusually tall; over 6 foot for a woman or over 6'6" for a man).

    Trust me, no one asks me to eat their junk food anymore. It usually only takes once or twice of the Cliff Clavin treatment for them to lay off.

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