Because I really need to talk!

siqiniq

Everybody here has already told you what to do, and I hope you're ready and strong enough to do it. But I want to tell you something that others did not say: there MIGHT NOT be a man out there for you. We all need to learn to live with ourselves first, and then if the right guy comes along, great; but if he doesn't, we need to build our own happy lives. I have been single for 15 years and I've never been happier in my life. I don't date, because the situation where I live severely limits chances for a woman of my age, but I'm okay with that because I have an income, a good life, and I am happy. You can be too, and I hope you soon will be.

Rgtjax85

Get rid of him. Any sneakiness or abusive language only grows in time. Keep and eye out for a man that is not playing boyish games. A man that that esteems your value as a unique woman that is unlike any person in this world. I hope your next boyfriend is better. Be blessed.

MissE4410

Are you serious!? You are beautiful! Funny thing is..........I feel the same way you feel about yourself is how I feel about myself. Sometimes we can not see our own beauty.....

Just remember--we have nothing to gain by lying to you on here, so believe us when we say he is so self centered that he can't see how beautiful you are. It sounds to me like he is trying to bring you down to feel like he may feel.

You have to take care of YOU. Emotionally and physically! Dumping this guy will be the best thing for you. It's better to do it sooner than later when things get more complicated and he shoots you down so much more that you feel you can't leave your relationship. It's never going to get easier than it will be today. Show him that not only are you beautiful, you're brave and strong enough to walk out on someone who could treat you that way.

Good luck!

sreekripa2002

You are not ugly at all. I know what you are through. I been to same phase before so I know how you feel. But trust me he doest deserve you. You need some one much better than him. So my suggestion is just dump him, kick him out of your life, close your heart door lock it and dont let him enter even as a friend.

Cr01502

The guy is a jerk. This has nothing to do with you. He's a jerk and he's manipulating you and using you.

Dump him. Plain & simple.

Yep.

Furthermore stop relying on men to dictate how pretty/fat/thin/ugly you are.

Have confidence and yourself.

darylewb

You are way to young to waste your life with someone who makes you feel like this. It speaks a great deal about him. If this cad has so little care for your feelings, drop him. If this guy is making you feel this badly, he is not healthy for you. Move on. Your life is ahead of you and it is too short to deal with this kind of nonsense.

Enjoy your youth; you should be in the middle of the best times of your life - enjoy everything you do and distance yourself from those who make you doubt yourself. Experience the things that you want to experience and don't look back.

Get in shape for the improved quality of life that getting in shape brings. Get in shape to feel better and feel better about yourself, but not to hold onto this guy, or any other. Never let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough - ever. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not weigh you down.

You will find someone who is right for you. Don't rush it.

Also, you are NOT ugly.

CoderGal

Hi!

I've been using myfitnesspal for a while now, and sometimes I come here and read some posts to get useful info or motivation although I never post (I don't know I didn't feel I have something useful to say). But today I really really need to talk here's the situation:
I feel depress and so ugly, even when I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise I feel is just not enough. I'm in a "relationship" right now and I think is driving me crazy (I'm going to the psychologist next week, so you can imagine how I feel) because according to him, he loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. But I've seeing him writing to some girls (really beautiful girls) asking her out and telling her stuff like he is looking for a real relationship. And I've come to the conclusion that he don't want to be in a relationship with me because I'm ugly, he even sometimes tell me that 'I'm fat' or that 'I look kind of ugly'.
I know how stupid this sound, but I feel horrible this is broken me badly. And lately I'm thinking he's right, guys aren't that interested on me and the few guys who are I don't like him back.
And this feel is affecting my work life, my social life, everything. I just have this feeling that I would ended up alone because I'm not skinny enough!!! and I hate it, I truly hate it.

If your profile pic is of you you have no problems in the looks department I assure you. And I honestly am not one of those people who go around saying nice things to make people feel better. I'm usually terribly sarcastic by nature.

I know plenty of 'ugly and fat' people inside and out who have no problem with getting guys. So that problem does not have to relate to looks. Once you see some terrible people with partners, those thoughts should leave you lol.

My heart goes out to you. I've been called ugly my whole life. I was beat up for it when I was a kid and I have scars on my face to prove it. I found a bf that made me think differently...life went on and eventually I was with someone for 2 years and it was the same situation. After those 2 long years of feeling completely unattractive he told me I was a beautiful person that he cared about and wanted the best for me but he wasn't sexually attracted to me. It cut me, deep. I really loved his family as well so that was also hard. I found pictures of girls (including ex's) in lingerie on his computer. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me near the end with his current gf which is a long story. It's definitely left a war wound and confirmed what I thought my whole life. And I can't say I've found anyone since that made me feel attractive. I half blame that on me. It's hard to come off as sexy when you don't feel it, and that's half the game.

My advice is leave him, feel terrible. Eventually feel better because flirting with guys can be fun and therapeutic

Darmonatrix

let me put this in simple terms for you.
your boyfriend is a narcissist. he wants to have you available when it suits him and let you go when it suits him. Over time that has become normal to you. It isnt normal to those of us on the outside of the relationship.

you are gorgeous with a lovely smile.

NOONE can make you happy but yourself. holding on to another person to make you happy WILL NOT work. not one bit. its just a big old waste of your time that you could be spending on yourself and working towards a happier place.

I hope whatever choices you make, they end up being happy ones for you

FaerieCae

um you're very pretty and he's a loser. never let a man tell you you aren't attractive.

^^this! If your man doesnt think you're the sexiest thing he can put his arms around, then kick him outta your life! You WILL find someone who adores you.

I have freckles, stretch marks, flab and a flat butt, but my hubby lets me know he adores me, flat butt n all. Dont put up with it, if he treats you bad now, he will never treat you better once you're 'skinny'..

Darmonatrix

i might just add - it really shouldnt be anyones goal in life to find a boyfriend when you are this unhappy. dont go looking, the right will fall in your lap when you are least expecting it.

Change4Love

You are far from ugly, you are beautiful and if he can't see that it's his own fault. Seriously it's probably good to see someone and tell them how you feel so the decision to see a phychologist is brilliant!
This man who sounds like an immature boy, is using you and controlling you, he wants you to feel like rubbish so that you feel you can't have someone else when the reality is he's probably the ugly one. If he wants relationships with other girls I can honestly say I doubt any of them will last and he will upset them just like you, you should just get rid of him ensure him that you can do better than a low life like him! Always here for a chat, feel free to add!

jocomoso

listen sweetie - HE is the ugly one - cut him loose, the outside physical person is important, BUT not as important as your inner person and if he is going to be so superficial - he is going to weigh you down
I have been married 27 years to a wonderful man, who has loved me through thick and thin, fat and fit times (!) and times when I really didn't deserve him at all, because my behaviour and personality were ugly..
get yourself some positive friends round you, join a gym that's not for poseurs, if you haven't already or try spin classes so that you can meet like minded people...and I am sure if/when you finish this relationship you will feel a whole lot better, it may be scary but it's gonna be worth it!
all the best - let me know how you get on....
love Jo (from Spain):happy:

ozigal

You arent ugly. He's using emotional backmail on you. Get rid of him.

Your confidence is shattered because of him. Talk to your friends. Get some support from them. Re-build your confidence and I guarantee you that the right person will come along.

The reason they havent at the moment is purely because they can feel how you are feeling about yourself. Dont make the mistake that many people fall into. Dont love just for the sake of loving.

You have to love yourself before anyone can love you properly. The loser you are with is preventing that from happening!!

saxmaniac

This looks more of a failed NSA relationship with a tactless player, than abuse, honestly.

If you can't handle that kind of relationship, get out of the one you are in, and don't get into one. Unfortunately nobody can control who you choose, other than you. The days of bringing boys home to Dad are over, ya know? Nobody wants that.

There is nothing wrong with your looks at all. You should beating off young men with a stick at your age. Find someone who wants to be with you. But insist on being his one and only from the start. A man who's interested in finding a girlfriend won't mind.

My wife snagged me with these words: "I won't date people who are seeing other. Are you?" The answer you are looking for is "No" or, at worst, "Yes, but I'll stop now". Anything else, get out (unless you want NSA).

Maris_Swan

You are beautiful and do not deserve to be treated like this. Get out of this "relationship" stat. This is toxic for you.

ale7714

Yes... Definetely have to stop seeing him, it's hurting me a lot.

mank32

Not that i want to encourage putting a lot of stock in what other ppl think/say, but...

...for every 1 time that you hear something critical about yourself (e.g. you are 'fat', 'ugly', whatev) there MUST BE AT LEAST *10* other times when someone has THOUGHT something complimentary you and either didn't or couldn't say it directly to you. Unless you live on a farm you must be passing by a number of perfect strangers throughout the day--there's got to be other ppl out there noticing your megawatt smile...