VOLUNTEER girls coach was fired last night.

Mavrick7a

As a coach, I see the biggest problem with some of these types of parents. There were a couple of parents that tried to volunteer as an assistant coach, but my biggest rule is "no coaching your child" They are there to help the team, not be the "special" coach for their child.

I have also witness parents threatening their children to "push harder" or else! Really sad. :frown:

Doodlewhopper

The mother was wrong and should have been stopped; but the guy who booted her postured at the expense of the little girl. I am sure this humiliated her.

This could have been handled discreetly without an audience. As far as I am concerned the guy is a punk and was only interested in looking heroic.

whatshouldieat

To me it sounds like the parent was living a dream through her child. It appears that the woman simply didnt make it in life where she wanted so she pushed it onto her child. It is just a sport, have fun let kids be kids. Yelling with a cause to correct a bad behavior OK, yelling because your mom is a total B!T@H not OK. That mom needs some anger management. I just hope that kid has a good head on there shoulders and when the time comes to make a serious decision in life that she makes the right decision.

DalekBrittany

So... now it's not only OP's fault for not taking action, but it's also the crowd's fault for antagonizing the mother (who was already yelling) and embarrassing the child further? What's next, it's the coach's fault too for sending the mother off the field in a huff because he probably made her madder and more likely to potentially abuse the daughter?!

This thread is spinning out of control...

I don't think the OP has any fault in this. All I was saying was that the crowd did not make matters any better. I didn't ever place fault on anyone or say that this is so-and-so's fault, I said that the crowd didn't help the situation by being immature. And yes, they did antagonize her, and yes, they probably did embarrass that poor girl even more. It is no one's "fault" but the mother's, but if everyone was so concerned there are much more mature ways to handle it than to antagonize the woman. Also, yelling =/= abuse. If the mother wants to yell at her child, however inappropriate it may be, it's her business. The only time it is someone else's business is if it is abusive, which no one on this thread has any idea if it was, I'll point out, because no one knows what was said.

motown13

As a coach, I see the biggest problem with some of these types of parents. There were a couple of parents that tried to volunteer as an assistant coach, but my biggest rule is "no coaching your child" They are there to help the team, not be the "special" coach for their child.

I have also witness parents threatening their children to "push harder" or else! Really sad. :frown:

As I mentioned before, in the 80's I played professional softball, and I made sure my daughter knew that I would not be coaching her team... Not so much because I didn't want to coach her, but because I didn't want to play favorites, or get frustrated if she didn't do well. Until 4 weeks ago, she had never even played softball. The most she had ever done was play catch.

IMO, it is so much harder to keep level headed when your own kids are involved. That said, I can't imagine doing what that woman did with my child.... So, I don't coach, but what I do, do is take her out 2x a week and pitch about 100 pitches to her. When I started doing that at first, I was more critical. Now, I see as where she responds much better if I work at being more upbeat. She is still a really bad hitter, but she is getting better.

motown13

s. The only time it is someone else's business is if it is abusive, which no one on this thread has any idea if it was, I'll point out, because no one knows what was said.

OK, here is one example..... she screamed his after her daughter dropped a 3rd strike:

"What are you doing back there? You cost the team at least 5 outs this game. Nobody else cost the team 5 outs, just you. Didn't we practice this all week?"

_Timmeh_

I don't mean to antagonize anyone here, but yelling at a kid during a game is never the proper thing to you. Usually if you are yelling, it is because you are agitated/mad and you are criticizing. That is never helpful -- that is, assuming the kid even hears, during the heat of competition.
The time for coaching is before the game. Competition is the time for support. Competition is a difficult, emotional thing.
If you have to coach during a game, take the kid aside at half time or sub them out of play for a bit, and then talk calmly with the kid.
Having someone yell at you that you are doing something you shouldn't, or not doing something you should, during the sweat and intensity of competition is only going to make you nervous. Or, worse, demoralized.
The best coaches I ever had in competitive soccer and baseball, worked us like dogs in practice. But, they were almost as silent as the grave during the game. I remember one of those coaches made us run two miles after a soccer game because he thought we did not put in full effort. It was the final game of the season. We were done. But, still, he was very calm and matter-of-fact during the game, and when he made us run afterwards. We were kids, after all.
My son plays rugby and his coach has coached teams that are nationally ranked. His sons play collegiate rugby. This guy lives rugby. But, I have never seen him yell at a kid. I have never seen him criticize a kid in front of others. Instead, he teaches with praise. It is quite admirable and instructive. Rugby kids are tough kids physically. But they have emotional vulnerabilities and feelings like anyone else.
It does not help to wound an athlete when they are out there trying, ever.
What happened to that poor girl is horrible -- especially horrible because it came from her parent.

Great post!

harvo

I coached my step-kids in rec-league and they took their turn sitting the bench and playing outfield. Every kid played infield, outfield and sat the bench. My 9 yr old step son was playing in the 10-11 year old league while playing AAU on weekends. More than once I told kids that saidto put Moose in to close the game that we can do it without Moose's pitching and if we don't that is ok as well.

Keep in mind I was talked to by a few parents about how I had the kids at the park too much and that I was burning them out. Those talks ended when I told them the boys were going to walk up there if I did not take them and that the kids pestered me to teach them the game and work them harder than anyone else. So I was harsh in those drills and sometimes in games. At the end of a game I would tell them what they need to work on and why it was incorrect and I would tell them what they did well and exceptional. Exceptional was few and far between. I was hated my the grandparents and dad for my honesty with them but they have thanked me for pushing them and expecting more from them even if I had to raise my voice.

Now, I believe this lady was over the top and as an umpire I am sad that they did not take care of the situation.

harvo

As a coach, I see the biggest problem with some of these types of parents. There were a couple of parents that tried to volunteer as an assistant coach, but my biggest rule is "no coaching your child" They are there to help the team, not be the "special" coach for their child.

I have also witness parents threatening their children to "push harder" or else! Really sad. :frown:

As I mentioned before, in the 80's I played professional softball, and I made sure my daughter knew that I would not be coaching her team... Not so much because I didn't want to coach her, but because I didn't want to play favorites, or get frustrated if she didn't do well. Until 4 weeks ago, she had never even played softball. The most she had ever done was play catch.

IMO, it is so much harder to keep level headed when your own kids are involved. That said, I can't imagine doing what that woman did with my child.... So, I don't coach, but what I do, do is take her out 2x a week and pitch about 100 pitches to her. When I started doing that at first, I was more critical. Now, I see as where she responds much better if I work at being more upbeat. She is still a really bad hitter, but she is getting better.

Just curious, with you being a professional softball player what is your stance on hitting batters on purpose?

Sabine_Stroehm

I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.

I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...

Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.

I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.

My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.

OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.

What should the OP do? What does "taking it out on" mean?

TylerJ76

I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.

I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...

Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.

I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.

My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.

OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.

What should the OP do? What does "taking it out on" mean?

IDK
OP said it...

Mcgrawhaha

As a coach, I see the biggest problem with some of these types of parents. There were a couple of parents that tried to volunteer as an assistant coach, but my biggest rule is "no coaching your child" They are there to help the team, not be the "special" coach for their child.

I have also witness parents threatening their children to "push harder" or else! Really sad. :frown:

As I mentioned before, in the 80's I played professional softball, and I made sure my daughter knew that I would not be coaching her team... Not so much because I didn't want to coach her, but because I didn't want to play favorites, or get frustrated if she didn't do well. Until 4 weeks ago, she had never even played softball. The most she had ever done was play catch.

IMO, it is so much harder to keep level headed when your own kids are involved. That said, I can't imagine doing what that woman did with my child.... So, I don't coach, but what I do, do is take her out 2x a week and pitch about 100 pitches to her. When I started doing that at first, I was more critical. Now, I see as where she responds much better if I work at being more upbeat. She is still a really bad hitter, but she is getting better.

Just curious, with you being a professional softball player what is your stance on hitting batters on purpose?

i admit it! i used to hit other players on purpose when i pitched. only a select few, but i did it.

Warchortle

Sounds like someone's been eating a few too many crabby patties.

aka low carb diet.

lkane99

NFL players aren't 11.

Mcgrawhaha

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it. theres nothing wrong with a coach whos hard on his players... parents need to pipe down and let the coaches run the team. if a parent feels their child is being abused, remove your child from the team or ask to be transfered to another team. i prefer the toughest coaches around. the harder my daughters are pushed, the harder they play, and thats what i like to see, and thats how my daughters prefer it as well.

AuddAlise

I coach my middle daughters soccer teams. I have never yelled at any of the kids; let alone my own. During practice we use gentle correction through pulling aside and fixing the problem. Then we praise when its done right. During games I stand at the sidelines and call our encouagement; not only for my players but for the opposing team too. This is supposed to be a fun time in their life, not a stressful one.

To be fair though my son, whose the true athlete in the family, couldn't care less if someone is yelling at him on the pitch. He doesn't hear them when he's out there. He would also be the one to run till he dropped.

AuddAlise

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it. theres nothing wrong with a coach whos hard on his players... parents need to pipe down and let the coaches run the team. if a parent feels their child is being abused, remove your child from the team or ask to be transfered to another team. i prefer the toughest coaches around. the harder my daughters are pushed, the harder they play, and thats what i like to see, and thats how my daughters prefer it as well.

I beg to disagree that by 11/12 the kids should know the game. This season my son (who plays BU11) has 4 out of 9 players on his team playing their first season ever of soccer. Age doesn't mean comprehension; nor does it mean talent.

motown13

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

For example,,, lots of kids don't even know when the third strike is called. I have seen the umps tell them to go to the bench. I have seen coaches tell kids to run after the catcher drops the third strike ( many have just walked to the bench ) And I even once saw a girl on 3rd base walk to the bench thinking that the 3rd out had been made, and it had not.

Mcgrawhaha

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

odusgolp

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

Calm down, Mike Rice...

I mean, Mcgrawhaha.

motown13

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

Well, my other daughter is in travel volleyball, and I have yet to see a coach yell. Personally I think you just like coming across as a hard *kitten*.

Mcgrawhaha

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it. theres nothing wrong with a coach whos hard on his players... parents need to pipe down and let the coaches run the team. if a parent feels their child is being abused, remove your child from the team or ask to be transfered to another team. i prefer the toughest coaches around. the harder my daughters are pushed, the harder they play, and thats what i like to see, and thats how my daughters prefer it as well.

I beg to disagree that by 11/12 the kids should know the game. This season my son (who plays BU11) has 4 out of 9 players on his team playing their first season ever of soccer. Age doesn't mean comprehension; nor does it mean talent.

i know nothing about soccer, never played it, never watched it. i know, that in girls softball, the majority of the girls start young, about 4 or 5. by 11/12, we usually see maybe 2 new girls on a team, the rest are returning players. in travel ball, we see no new players, so... maybe in soccer, you get alot of new comers, but in our leauge, where we live, we have girls leaving surrounding city leauges, coming to our city, because we have such a competative leauge. this season, we have 1 new player on one of my daughters teams, who has never played before. thats it.

Mcgrawhaha

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

Well, my other daughter is in travel volleyball, and I have yet to see a coach yell. Personally I think you just like coming across as a hard *kitten*.

i like coming across as a hard *kitten*? how so? im not a coach... i wish i was, but i dont have time. i just happen to back the idea of tough coaching. do i yeall at my girls? absolutely, everytime they ASK ME to pitch some balls to them and they mess up... but you know what, they take what a say, and fix what they are doing wrong. i happen to appreciate what all my coaches and my parents did for me and my playing skills growing up. theres nothing hard *kitten* about that... it only means that in my family, we appreciate tough coaching, and we welcome that coaching style as a tool to better their skills.

and as for your volleyball comment, i cant comment on that, ive never played volleyball, and never watched it be played, so, i have nothing to say about the dynamics of that game.

Sabine_Stroehm

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it. theres nothing wrong with a coach whos hard on his players... parents need to pipe down and let the coaches run the team. if a parent feels their child is being abused, remove your child from the team or ask to be transfered to another team. i prefer the toughest coaches around. the harder my daughters are pushed, the harder they play, and thats what i like to see, and thats how my daughters prefer it as well.

CHILDREN are CHILDREN. They don't need to be screamed at in public or in private.

GiddyupTim

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

Well, my other daughter is in travel volleyball, and I have yet to see a coach yell. Personally I think you just like coming across as a hard *kitten*.

i like coming across as a hard *kitten*? how so? im not a coach... i wish i was, but i dont have time. i just happen to back the idea of tough coaching. do i yeall at my girls? absolutely, everytime they ASK ME to pitch some balls to them and they mess up... but you know what, they take what a say, and fix what they are doing wrong. i happen to appreciate what all my coaches and my parents did for me and my playing skills growing up. theres nothing hard *kitten* about that... it only means that in my family, we appreciate tough coaching, and we welcome that coaching style as a tool to better their skills.

and as for your volleyball comment, i cant comment on that, ive never played volleyball, and never watched it be played, so, i have nothing to say about the dynamics of that game.

My son's rugby coach walks with a permanent limp from the game, and still has his sons playing. Trust me, he is a hard *kitten*. Does he push the kids in practice? Certainly. Has he ever yelled at a kid and humiliated him during a game? Never.
That's not coaching. That's abuse.

Ramberta

NFL players aren't 11.

athletes are athletes, and need to be pushed, not coddled. otherwise, for parents who cant handle a tough coach, girl scouts is a better option... athletes need to be treated as athletes. by 11/12 years old, these girls know the game, and how to play it.

Not in this league, It is a developmental league.

well, in travel ball, believe me, they know the game, and they are there to win, not for play dates.

Well, my other daughter is in travel volleyball, and I have yet to see a coach yell. Personally I think you just like coming across as a hard *kitten*.

i like coming across as a hard *kitten*? how so? im not a coach... i wish i was, but i dont have time. i just happen to back the idea of tough coaching. do i yeall at my girls? absolutely, everytime they ASK ME to pitch some balls to them and they mess up... but you know what, they take what a say, and fix what they are doing wrong. i happen to appreciate what all my coaches and my parents did for me and my playing skills growing up. theres nothing hard *kitten* about that... it only means that in my family, we appreciate tough coaching, and we welcome that coaching style as a tool to better their skills.

and as for your volleyball comment, i cant comment on that, ive never played volleyball, and never watched it be played, so, i have nothing to say about the dynamics of that game.

My son's rugby coach walks with a permanent limp from the game, and still has his sons playing. Trust me, he is a hard *kitten*. Does he push the kids in practice? Certainly. Has he ever yelled at a kid and humiliated him during a game? Never.
That's not coaching. That's abuse.

QFT.

Jerrypeoples

there is a huge difference between being stern and trying to get your players full potential realized and what that "coach" from rutgers did

InnerConflict