Overweight kids- Who's to blame

SDHudgins1976

OK.. Im reading all this crap, and I'm wondering

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PLAYING OUTSIDE?!?!?
[sic]
chasing critters, climbing trees, digging holes, riding bikes, playing tag, helping garden, these are wholesome activities to keep your child fit... live in the city? You don't have a community garden, park, ally, nothing?! Hmmm, I don't buy it...

I'll address this at least for where I live.
I live in a small town, in a large house with a small yard. We just tore up our flower bed in order to grow a small vegetable garden this year (so they will be helping with that). Our back yard is tiny, and my kids are allowed to go out there any play with the pups pretty much when they want (throw a ball around, just break sticks sometimes, kick around the soccer ball, you get the idea), but other than that... The area I live in is not that safe. We live a couple blocks from the park, where I don't feel safe (though I do take my kids occasionally, plan on going at least once a week this summer) We know few of our neighbors, and some of our neighbors change frequently, where others, I just don't feel comfortable with. My biggest regret in buying that house is the lack of yard. (it's not even big enough for a swing set, but they sure do have fun with the small space they have)

My kids are stuck with me at work a lot of the time way too late, but run around my room like mad people They also run around our house and get hot and sweaty and red faced and giggle and have a grand time. Most of the activity my kids get are INDOORS simply because they are safer. Not safer from being hurt (my son has managed to have to have two sets of stitches BOTH earned from playing while inside), but safer from the sex offenders that live around my neighborhood, safe from the pit bulls people won't keep put up and/or muzzled (and other big dogs). They both LOVE to dance, and we have a storage room that is going to get emptied out and become a room to exercise/play in... I'm wanting to do Zumba, and I'm planning on finding other videos for the kids so they can dance dance dance.

I grew up in the country, on 10 acres, surrounded by family who all lived on big plots of land that I was free to run across, ride bikes across, chase the dogs around, etc... My kids don't have that They play soccer during soccer season, my son is playing football this coming fall, my daughter is wanting to start running this summer... though she will probably start INDOORS in the church's activity building for safety (she's 10 and looks 8 tops) I never would've dreamed of doing ANY of those things.

Some of our kids just really don't have the luxury of just "going outside and playing", so we do the best we can to keep them active.

Missjulesdid

I don't know - my daughter is overweight (age 5, 72 lbs) but her brother is not (age 9, 68 lbs). My daughter is very sedentary, and my son is very athletic, just like his mom and dad. Personally, I race triathlon and carefully monitor my intake but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to get her to be active and do the same. She's 5 - she just isn't into it yet.

At school, I assume she's eating pretty well with the lunches they provide. My ex and I try our best to feed them healthy meals at home, but she's still not losing weight. If we don't watch her portions she will eat, eat, eat! We went to a birthday party the other day, and there was pizza served. I came over to check on her, and asked how many pieces she ate. She said 4. I don't even eat 4 pieces! That's close to 800 calories.

She always complains about her belly being too big. I hate to think she has weight issues already at age 5. The only thing we can do is keep her on a calorie-restricted diet and get her to be more active. It's been challenging because her mom and I are divorced.

I was a lot like your daughter.. Still am... I did enjoy activities such as dancing and swimming but I was also that weird kid who all the adults liked because I could sit perfectly still for hours and read a book. I was also VERY food centered. I would take advantage of EVERY opportunity to get food. It would have HELPED if my parents didn't have junk in the house, never ordered in pizza, never served me processed foods, etc.. but it wouldn't have slolved the problem. Why have I been this way since birth??? I don't know. I have one sister who is also like this.. but two sisters and a brother who are not. I also have one niece who is like this.. but her two brothers and her sister are not. I believe in my heart it's something genetic in the way our brains respond to food.

Keep supporting your daughter and trying to encourage the healthiest lifestyle possible without making her feel bad about her weight. I believe it definitely would have helped if I could have had more exposure to healthier foods as a child, though like I said.. that's only part of the battle.. Good luck to you and your family.

Crankstr

Not the parents. The mother. I bring them to hockey, she cooks. you do the math.

when they have no front teeth it will be your fault!

















*note to mods and report happy people...attempt at humor*

Hey, nothing better than a few lost teeth or a broken jaw to help you along the weight loss path.

dbmata

Another thought on school lunches:

When I started teaching they gave us a handout with the rough calorie count for a school lunch. The high school portion was roughly 800 calories, so I asked why it was so high. I was told that it's because over 50% of our students were living in poverty, and we had to assume that school breakfast and school lunch were the only meals those students would get that day.

Was that based on some PTA bs, or some legitimate scientific research, or did they even tell you where they came up with such assumptions?

Eifersucht

You can place blame all you want. Personally, I feel it's just another way to get down on others. Instead, why not focus on what we can do to help change things?

I am a parent of an overweight child. For her age, height, and weight she is categorized as obese. We have seen dietitians. They have all said the same thing. We eat healthy. She drinks mostly water. We exercise together. We're doing everything we can. She suffered a brain injury when she was 8 weeks old. Since then, she has been involved with speech, occupational, and physical therapy on a regular basis to help with her deficits. She has difficulty moving her left side but it would be difficult for the layperson to tell. She hides it well. She wants to give up when she gets discouraged. She gets teased at school already for being slower than the other children, for not jumping as high, etc. She's slower because she has less coordination and her left side isn't as strong as her right. It's hard to hear my daughter tell me that kids tell her she's slow. It breaks my heart. She'll be 5 years old next month. So what do we do about it? We continue to look for ways to eat better, more physical activities to participate in, and we monitor her progress. We frequently chat with her therapists regarding her progress and what we can do to further help her. But thank you for further confirming the idea that people see my daughter and just assume we're lazy and feed her junk. It must be the parents fault, right?

dbmata

Another way to think about it. This week, the FDA approved the marketing of the "morning after" pill over the counter to girls 15 and above. What does that tell you about respect and the role of the parent?

Nothing wrong with girls 15+ having access to it. Granted, this was a revenue based decision that aids the advertising industry, so the government's role in it was all about payola, but functionally this is good for women.

Again though, in most cases it wouldn't be needed if parents were doing their jobs and teaching young women about life.

hfester

Another thought on school lunches:

When I started teaching they gave us a handout with the rough calorie count for a school lunch. The high school portion was roughly 800 calories, so I asked why it was so high. I was told that it's because over 50% of our students were living in poverty, and we had to assume that school breakfast and school lunch were the only meals those students would get that day.

Was that based on some PTA bs, or some legitimate scientific research, or did they even tell you where they came up with such assumptions?

I'll chime in here because I missed the original comment. My son gets to eat "hot lunch" once a week as a treat. I counted up the calories of the school lunch he gets on Fridays: about 700-800. He's six. The example lunch I used was pizza, chocolate sundae, mandarin oranges, and shredded lettuce with ranch.

Canned mandarin oranges shouldn't count as fruit. Yet people scream about the reform of school lunches.

dbmata

I am a parent of an overweight child. For her age, height, and weight she is categorized as obese.

How much daily surplus is she eating?

k8blujay2

I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.

It was causing ALOT of debate.

Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.

What does the rest of MFP think?

I believe it's the parents.... As a parent, I'm the one that buys the food, I'm the one that makes the decision to go through the drive thru, I'm the one that allows them to watch TV for hours on end or to kick them out of the house for a couple of hours.... Sure, when my kids are older they will have the means and ability to get junk food... I did.... it was super easy to use babysitting money and walk to the local convience store and buy junk.... BUT it is still up to me and my husband to teach and instill healthy habits for the majority of the time.

JustQuitIt

I don't really think assigning blame helps anything. But I don't have kids, so what do I know.

mgmlap

I do believe its the parents fault.. Whether its because of the foods they eat..or a medical condition..its the parents responsibility to notice these things.

In my household..we do have junk..and lots of it..but then we have fruit, yogurt, veggies...I make sure my daughter eats a balanced breakfast, lunch, and dinner...and yes..she splurges in between..

we go on walks..and I make sure she gets moving.

My oldest just recently moved out..and within 4 months..has gained about 15 pounds from eating junk 24/7. ...Its all about moderation..but as long as that child is under your roof..you are responsible

RllyGudTweetr

Another way to think about it. This week, the FDA approved the marketing of the "morning after" pill over the counter to girls 15 and above. What does that tell you about respect and the role of the parent?

Nothing wrong with girls 15+ having access to it. Granted, this was a revenue based decision that aids the advertising industry, so the government's role in it was all about payola, but functionally this is good for women.

Again though, in most cases it wouldn't be needed if parents were doing their jobs and teaching young women about life.

Not to mention that a lot of girls and boys have access to a small income by that point, from some sort of after school job (parental consent forms may be needed in some locations, I know).

When I see the topic "overweight KIDS," I don't presume the subject matter is those around HS age who are joining the work force, taking drivers' education, and considering dating. Personally, I figure it's regarding younger children who are not yet dipping their toes in the waters of adulthood.

mgreen10

Feeding your kids a healthy diet and maintaining their physical health is one of the most important gifts you can give them, and one of the most crucial ways in which they need help and guidance. Overfeeding your kids until they are obese is a form of child abuse. Also, I don't buy the crap about "my kid is a picky eater", the kid should eat what you give them, or nothing at all. As a parent, you are the decision maker and they need to know this. Also, by not introducing certain foods to them, things that they should not be eating, you can eliminate their desire for those foods. Doutzen Kroes is a great example, she claims that her son has never tasted sugar, so he finds fruit to be the best thing there is.

craigmandu

Another way to think about it. This week, the FDA approved the marketing of the "morning after" pill over the counter to girls 15 and above. What does that tell you about respect and the role of the parent?

Nothing wrong with girls 15+ having access to it. Granted, this was a revenue based decision that aids the advertising industry, so the government's role in it was all about payola, but functionally this is good for women.

Again though, in most cases it wouldn't be needed if parents were doing their jobs and teaching young women about life.

Yea right....nothing wrong with letting 15 year old girls (girls mind you, they aren't mature women) buy a pill that takes away any possibility of risk being involved with having sex at that age.....

How many 15 year olds parents do you think will EVER even know their child has them? You can talk to your kid til you're blue in the face, if they know they can do something and get away with it, with no prospect of a risk involved, they are going to do it. Kids aren't mature enough at that age and their hormones entice them to do all sorts of activities.

I'll be interested to see how many more diseases get spread as a result of the morning after pill, since it strongly encourages kids to not use protection during sex, since they won't need it anymore to ensure the girl doesn't get pregnant.

Don't give me the "Oh but it will cut teenage pregnancy" argument either...those that don't take the time to use current protection mechanisms aren't going to take the time to buy the morning after pill either.

I personally believe ANY drug that a child takes (even cough syrup) should have to be purchased by the parent and not the child...otherwise how the hell is the parent suppose to know if a kid is abusing any over-the-counter drug?

shunggie

My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.

So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.

I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.

We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.

I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.

Way to own it Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RllyGudTweetr

My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.

So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.

I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.

We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.

I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.

Way to own it Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was the Mom posting.

skinnylynnie74

My 10-year-old daughter is SO proud of the fact that she hasn't eaten fast food in 3 years! She wants to put McDonald's out of business. Kids at school make fun of her for her lunches, but she tells me theirs are: Cheetos, fruit snacks, and juice, followed by a candy bar or chocolate pudding. These kids she is telling me about aren't overweight, but they are damaging their bodies at a cellular level... It's not only sad, it's going to cost us money as a society as these kids age and develop health problems.

NoExcuses79

First let me say that Ive read through most of the comments on this topic and Im impressed by the general consensus from you all. This has been a great read,very interesting.

I also agree that the parents retain FULL resposibilities for their children. That being said there are so many people having children to early in their life. They arent much more than children themselves and are consumed by their own desires in life. They have become reliant on the schools,daycare,nannys and the rest of society. Throwing them to the wolves without guidance. They have a busy day at work, bring a bag of .99 burgers home, watch tv, shower, then to bed and think they are being great parents all the while. Let me tell you it takes alot more than that!!!

It really bothers me and Im speaking from my life experience. I have 3 children of my own that I had at a young age I had to make many sacrifices to be what I had to be. I have made many mistakes along the way because of my own desires, but my family came first and its not been easy holding it together. So many families dont make it which makes it that much harder. When you become a parent everything else comes second. You have to dedicate yourself to that child/children. Long day at work, Oh well no tv for you tonight. Its all about the kids. Things are getting worse everyday people. Go spend time with your kids......everything you do should be something to help lead your child in a better direction.

It starts with you....Thanks!!!

Bama56

Being a kid to most, I would say that a great deal falls on the shoulders of the kids. Parents are not around their kids all the time to control the things they do, younger generations need to strt taking responsibility for themselves. Granted, I am not downplaying the control of the things that come into the house by parents. But forcing kids to eat certain things at a young age is just setting them up for failure later in life, in my opinion. Sadly, most people in today's world just do not care about their long term health.

xiamjackie

I'll chime in here because I missed the original comment. My son gets to eat "hot lunch" once a week as a treat. I counted up the calories of the school lunch he gets on Fridays: about 700-800. He's six. The example lunch I used was pizza, chocolate sundae, mandarin oranges, and shredded lettuce with ranch.

Canned mandarin oranges shouldn't count as fruit. Yet people scream about the reform of school lunches.

Where on earth does your kid go to school that he's 6 years old and he's eating pizza and a chocolate sundae for lunch? And you're worried about the mandarin oranges being counted as fruit? I work in a public high school and we do not serve ice cream. Pizza, yes. Canned fruit? Yes. Chocolate sundaes? Uh, no.