introvert or extrovert?

hbrittingham

I used to be an extrovert, but I have gotten older, I've become more introverted. I can fake it if I have to, but am miserable if I do. I am married to the ultimate extrovert.

ArchangelMJ

Here's some cool and interesting quotes I just found from Laurie Helgoe's book on introversion vs extroversion, "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength" (who can relate?):

“Introvert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.”

“In “America the extroverted,” relationships are good, and even if they are very bad, they are better than no relationship. Introverts don’t think this way. Many of us want and have great relationships, but we generally prefer “no relationship” to a bad one. Quality matters. We conserve our relationship resources, because we know they are limited.”

“Introverts keep their best stuff inside—that is, until it is ready. And this drives extroverts crazy! The explanation for the introvert’s behavior—and there must be an explanation for this behavior, say the extroverts—is that he or she is antisocial, out of touch, or simply a snob.” (can SO relate to that one, people have labeled me as "stuck up" when I'm just being my introverted self)

“While the introvert is reflecting on the question (thinking first), the extrovert takes this as an invitation to fill the void (talking first). As long as the introvert doesn't interrupt, the extrovert continues to fill the interpersonal space with talk. But as long as the extrovert talks, the introvert can’t think and stays mute. Mute means the invitation is still open, and continued talk assures that the introvert remains mute. By the time the extrovert pauses to ask, the introvert’s head is pounding and he or she just wants to get out so she can think. The extrovert just assumes the introvert had nothing to say, and moves on.”

“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.”

“I prefer to interact with people one-on-one. Any more than that, and the dynamic becomes competitive.”

“This is why it is sometimes hard for introverts to find words: we really hate to compromise, and words are always a compromise.” ( I always feel like there's only one best way to say something, and I rather get there than offer something less, which is why conversations can be a chore at times.)

chelseascounter

Introvert

ScatteredThoughts

Introvert. I've never been a people person, and usually find it hard to express myself well.

pudadough

I am what I would call an extreme introvert. Both of my parents are introverts as well, so I think I just got a genetic "double shot." I'm not shy at all. At all. i just like to spend the majority of my time alone. I'm extremely protective of my downtime. I'm a teacher so I'm pretty drained by interaction after work.

The upside is I hardly ever get lonely the way extroverts do. The downside is that I have a hard time being a good friend because I truly have to force myself to hang out with them, even if I genuinely like them! It's hard for most people to understand that mentality. And I don't blame them.

HunterKiller_wechange2

Pervert

Sparkle_Princess

Pervert

:laugh: :laugh: :devil: sounds like fun Mr

trophywife24

Extrovert. I love people.

Vain_Witch

I have elements of both, however, I'm definitely more introverted. But, if you ask people I work with or friends, hey often call me an A type personality or extroverted. I'm not, but I do have elements of extroversion when I want to be social.

This is SOOOO me! I've always been extremely shy, but I figured out in middle school that if I know everyone I never have a reason to be shy...so this has been my life's mission since then! lol So most people think I'm an extrovert, but honestly it's forced until I find a way to make myself comfortable.

pnut456

total introvert until I am comfortable...

nine2481

People wear me out. I do enjoy being around others but only when I want them to be around. I find it extremely exhausting trying to act like I'm extroverted so I usually don't. I like to recharge after being around others. It has it's pro's being introverted as well as cons. I've never felt like I need people and as I age, it only get's stronger. Yes, I'm a happy introvert that enjoys light interactions with others.

pnut456

Wow that's a really interesting definition. I was an extrovert until I was bullied at school at age 10-12, then I became very distrustful of people and became a bit OCD and had panic attacks etc as a teenager. I'm an introvert but it's taken me most of my life to accept that's how I am and to stop trying to be something I'm not. My daughter is age 14 and quite introverted, I've been trying to get her to be accepting of that, rather than feel the odd one out because she's not into socialising etc with her peers. Strangely I am a lecturer, and regularly stand up in front of 40 or more strangers, but I loved acting at school, and they are very much the same thing.

I was a teacher and I found that to be no big deal, which is definitely strange. I think it's because I was in charge of the situation. It was my classroom and I knew exactly what I wanted to say, etc. Also it's a lot more structured. I don't like the uncertainty of unstructured social interactions.

Aw, yes, structure is very important. It explains why so many artists and actors are introverted and yet capable of performing so well. When things are rehearsed and planned, it's much easier to be confidant and in control of the situation. In school, I found that if I prepared a speech and rehearsed it or was allowed to read it, I'd do quite well. If I'm left to just talk on my own I'm a hot mess, lol.

You guys are speaking my language!!! This is totally me... panic attacks and everything.. I hate not being in control and I dread social interactions where I may meet new people. EEK

JustAboutDelicious_wechanged

Does wanting to be naked all the time in public make you an extrovert? If not, then I'm totally an introvert.

Tatonka_usn

Introvert, to the Nth degree. I can manage a false front in public and put on sociable facade, but ordinarily can't stand crowds/new people and would much prefer doing my own thing.

brian90

Introvert

krowanvil

Introvert

Mercatus Center scholar Jerry Brito debunking the top ten myths about introverts:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

source: http://spatialorientation.com/2011/10/14/misreading-introverts/

quirkytizzy

Introvert.

It's incongruous for me sometimes - I'm loud, excitable, and actually enjoy being the center of attention. But I dislike leaving the house (in the winter months, it's not unusual for me to go *weeks* without leaving the house) and being around people - even people I like - exhausts me. I do well with small talk, but extending attention and energy any further is very hard for me.

Trying to figure out the rules, which are ever-changing depending on who I'm around and the mood, is difficult for me sometimes.

I often need a recharge time of days after a social occasion.

Thank God for the internet.

Cre8veLifeR

Totally an extrovert! Which is good since it suits my career.

ItsCasey

Definitely an introvert. Not in the sense that I can't have a conversation with a stranger, just in the sense that I need alone time, and I do better socially in smaller groups with people I know well.

srallen98

I put the Captal "E" in Extrovert. I am one of those people who can strike up a conversation with a total stranger... in another country... not knowing their language. Tends to work too!