Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

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  • jennielou75
    jennielou75 Posts: 197 Member
    I had gastric sleeve surgery in June 2012. I tell everyone I had the surgery mainly because I lost weight so quickly I didn't want people I hadn't seen for a while to think I had been ill. Also I am not ashamed of it at all.

    I lost 3 and a half stone before the op because I wanted to be as light as I could be on the operating table. I have never been a healthy weight in my life and yes I had indeed tried virtually everything except diet pills because I have bowel issues. I know there is no way I could have done this by myself. I only lost weight when I ate 1,000 - 1,200 calories a day. This was found by follwing doctors instrucitons and starting at 1,500 and reducing by 100 cals every 2 weeks until I started losing.

    Bad eating habits were creeping back in as in eating a packet of crisps but my pre op diet started at the right time for me.

    My weight loss means I now look normal. That is all I wanted to be....normal. Now I can go to the gym 3 times a week, walk 5 miles a day etc etc.....I love my fitbit!! I could not do this at 5ft 3 and 23 stone. Just walking caused me pain.

    I still want to eat the wrong things. The difference is that now I can't eat much of them, I log them here so I can see the effects of what I am doing and I stop and think about it before I eat again....I also drink a lot more liquids now. I am also going to counselling.

    I have no doubt that the surgery saved my life....now with over 10 stone gone it is now up to me. I will make sure that the money that has been spent on me will not be wasted. If I regain more than a stone then off to the doctors I will go or I will join a weight management group, not for more surgery as there is no more I can have but to have a good talking to like I can get on here.

    Now you can all say that you know someone who has done well so far with surgery and hopefully in 2,3,4,5 years time I will still be here saying i have done well as I really hope that people here just wish people well even if they do not agree with the way they have lost the weight. I almost feel that I need to prove some of the people on here wrong which is really sad as outside of here I have only had support from people who wish me well and want me to succeed because they care about me and want me to be happy. I think I will continue to not want to let those who have supported me and people like me down as that is a much more positive reason to want to succeed.

    Fat people have been considered lazy and greedy for years. Now that is being added to those who have had surgery and are working hard to make it work for them. I just find that a little sad.
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
    I think it is up to you, same for girls that want their boobs done and men for laser surgery or whatever. Its your body, do whatever the *kitten* you want with it. Just stay away from my NHS unless it is 100% medically necessary.

    On a personal note I do think that it doesn't really change your feelings towards food. You still have psychological issue towards food and it can't cure that. It restricts you, and you might form a habit but the original cause is still there.
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
    To the OP:

    What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.

    She will be eating a substantial less amount of calories = weightloss.

    Although it should be said that I don't really know much about PCOS so my above comment might be pointless.
  • StephTheBookworm
    StephTheBookworm Posts: 177 Member
    I NEVER had surgery. I changed my mindset and attitude, and therefore have lost successfully and kept the weight off. I know several people who had the surgery but thought it would solve their problems without changing their mindset. They gained the weight back.
  • dough21
    dough21 Posts: 216 Member
    I don't think it's cheating. However I do think it's pointless if after the surgery you return to your old ways and expect to keep it off. It's not going to happen. Unless you got some sort of condition I would just do it the natural way through diet and exercise.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I don't think of it as cheating...when you're morbidly obese, one of the best things you can do is drop that weight very quickly...which would mean surgery. I do however think it's a pointless exercise if you aren't willing to make lifestyle changes to improve your overall health and well being post surgery.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member

    Could a WLS patient do an hour in the pool swimming laps? Probably not, because they become physically incapable of taking in enough nutrient at one time to actually do a decent workout.

    I will let my very good friend who had successful WLS three years ago, followed ALL the recommendations given to her by her doctor, has lost over 150 pounds and kept the weight off, AND runs half marathons know that she's obviously physically incapable of doing that. Oh yeah...her running coach, who also had WLS a number of years ago, has successfully completed at least a dozen marathons and (to date) two Ironman competitions. Guess he shouldn't be doing that, eh?

    /Facepalm.

    A post-WLS patient should given a lot of guidance by their surgeon (if it's a good one) on how to intake the proper nutrients and balance that with activity. There are also support groups for post-WLS folks.

    OP, it's a totally individual decision between you, your doctor, and your family. I wish you the best and hope that whatever you do, it is successful and you feel healthier.
  • pjwcampbell
    pjwcampbell Posts: 17 Member
    I have a very good friend who had surgery. He's lost quite a bit of weight but has now stalled. Every day I see him coming in after lunch with a bag of fast food. I rarely eat fast food. In the end, I will bet money that he will always be overweight and I won't because I exercise and eat good food. BTW, since I'm a 50+ year old woman I also have hormonal issues. I have to work harder than I ever have to keep my body fat at a healthy percentage.

    I'm not anti-surgery per se but I do get frustrated when people comment about how thin I am and tell me I have no idea how hard it is for them to lose weight. However, they also have no problem calling me crazy when I tell them I rode 75 miles on my bike over the weekend or that I get up at 4:45 so I can go to the gym before work. So...really...let's talk about me not understanding how "hard" you work to lose weight.
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Cheating is a rough word... I did it the calories in/calories out way. But then some people would tell you that MY way was cheating since I still ate processed foods like pizza and chicken fingers, just in smaller portions. Eventually I started eating healthier whole foods when I saw the benefits to my hair, skin and body but I lost 50 pounds eating LESS pizza and LESS fried foods.

    I just think that people who say "I've tried everything" haven't really... I used to say the same thing. Then I really got into weighing/portion control/counting and exercising hard and it fell right off, seriously. If you've worked really hard and done every little thing you're supposed to with no shortcuts and it still isn't working... then maybe it's a good step? I just know someone who died from this. It's serious stuff. I would think diet would be a good way to control sugars, etc. since that is what causes the weight gain with PCOS. I was an APPLE to start with lots of belly fat and a round body. Not anymore.

    It's a journey. I say whatever gets you going is great, just make sure you are continually looking to improve your habits! My friends with gastric never really addressed their underlying food issues and most of them gained it back. It's not always sustainable. So good for you, but be sure you have a good relationship with food before that surgery! :) Best of luck!!!
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.


    Maybe you can see why some of us would think it's not a good idea?


    Everyone can do whatever they want with their lives. But this^? I wouldn't recommend that kind of life to anyone.

    ...and again I say, mileages may vary. I was back at work within a week, so my recovery was nowhere even in the ballpark of "long". I can chug water like a champ, and I can still eat the occasional piece of candy or kid's birthday cake with no consequences, and have once or twice. I just choose not to do it all the time. I LOVE social gatherings even more than I ever did, because I'm a big attention *kitten* and I love getting compliments. I just plan my way around the food and decide ahead of time what I will eat, or whether I'll have something more fitting to my plan at home beforehand. Yes, it does require planning and dedication and modification, but so does any other long-term plan. I know far more post-op patients who live the lifestyle I'm living than the one described above. Please don't let the horror stories stand as the norm just because they stay fresher in the mind.

    I am only two months post-op for my VSG surgery. I eat around 1,050 calories a day and chug water easily. My lunch today consisted of a 2 ounce piece of turkey breast, 1 ounce of avocado and a piece of cheese. it's small, but enough to be psychologically satisfying. I still enjoy food immensely, I just enjoy it in smaller quantities and make sure that it's of good nutritive value as well as TASTY... and yes, TASTY is still very important to me!!! As far as sweets goes, I've been avoiding them for the most part but I enjoyed two peanut butter cups about a month ago and those went down nicely without any complaints from my digestive system which is not surprising since VSG patients don't have any malabsorption so don't typically experience any of those nasty side effects from any foods. My recovery was way easier than my gallbladder removal was years ago. I had very little pain, and only took pain medication for one day post op. I was up and walking around within hours of the surgery. My experience has been excellent with the surgery. I've lost 24 pounds in two months.. around 3 pounds a week which isn't a ridiculous amount for a person of my size who is also exercising daily. (the other 70 pounds on my ticker I lost before surgery)

    I don't want to pry, but if you lost 70 lbs before surgery why did you proceed? Seems like you were doing just fine on your own and now you have the side effects of the surgery to deal with.

    Fair enough question. I wanted an appetite to match my metabolism. I worked with a dietician for around a year and I could NOT HANDLE eating at a deficit enough to lose or even maintain over the long term. I am metabolically challenged. I also had perversely enough a longer than normal stomach as confirmed by my surgeon... So extra large stomach.. extra small metabolism PLUS I LOVE LOVE LOVE food it just took SO MUCH of it to satisfy me.. not even to make me feel "full" but just to reach the point of satiety. Now, I aint gonna lie.. as much as this fatty actually enjoys really healthy food options, I also love the junk and like everyone, I have to exercise will power, or these things find their way down my throat.. It's absolutely AMAZING how much easier it is to say "no" when you're not also battling almost constant hunger! If I wasn't willing or able to exercise willpower then my surgery would be for nothing since if I ate the wrong things.. I could easily consume thousands of calories per day... but if I eat the right things... Regular normal good quality foods (I choose low carb, and higher fat and 80 grams of protein a day) and I'm satisfied after a small meal and not feeling the need to eat again for many hours. I've done a lot of work to make sure my head is in the right place before doing this surgery. I addressed any issues with emotional eating, I stopped eating wheat and STUCK TO a wheat free diet (I'm intolerant to wheat but used to eat it anyway because I felt like I HAD to). Even with all these steps that I took to address my weight problem, I still kept coming back to the HUNGER and I had this surgery to address that!

    Fortunately I don't have any side effects to deal with. I don't have any digestive issues, I can tolerate any food.To be clear, I did not have RNY gastric bypass. I had VSG-Vertical sleeve gastrectomy.. which is basically just reducing the size of your stomach but your intestines remain untouched so there is no malabsorption of nutrients or calories and no "dumping" when eating sugar. My body digests food in the same way it always has.. just with a smaller stomach! Some people need the RNY, but I felt that I could make it work with just the VSG.

    So I hope this answers your question. I chose the surgery because I simply could not face the rest of my life having to feel deprived and hungry all the time.. Now with the surgery, I can maintain an appropriate calorie intake for my body and feel satisfied with that calorie amount.
  • amyk0202
    amyk0202 Posts: 666 Member
    Fair enough question. I wanted an appetite to match my metabolism. I worked with a dietician for around a year and I could NOT HANDLE eating at a deficit enough to lose or even maintain over the long term. I am metabolically challenged. I also had perversely enough a longer than normal stomach as confirmed by my surgeon... So extra large stomach.. extra small metabolism PLUS I LOVE LOVE LOVE food it just took SO MUCH of it to satisfy me.. not even to make me feel "full" but just to reach the point of satiety. Now, I aint gonna lie.. as much as this fatty actually enjoys really healthy food options, I also love the junk and like everyone, I have to exercise will power, or these things find their way down my throat.. It's absolutely AMAZING how much easier it is to say "no" when you're not also battling almost constant hunger! If I wasn't willing or able to exercise willpower then my surgery would be for nothing since if I ate the wrong things.. I could easily consume thousands of calories per day... but if I eat the right things... Regular normal good quality foods (I choose low carb, and higher fat and 80 grams of protein a day) and I'm satisfied after a small meal and not feeling the need to eat again for many hours. I've done a lot of work to make sure my head is in the right place before doing this surgery. I addressed any issues with emotional eating, I stopped eating wheat and STUCK TO a wheat free diet (I'm intolerant to wheat but used to eat it anyway because I felt like I HAD to). Even with all these steps that I took to address my weight problem, I still kept coming back to the HUNGER and I had this surgery to address that!

    Fortunately I don't have any side effects to deal with. I don't have any digestive issues, I can tolerate any food.To be clear, I did not have RNY gastric bypass. I had VSG-Vertical sleeve gastrectomy.. which is basically just reducing the size of your stomach but your intestines remain untouched so there is no malabsorption of nutrients or calories and no "dumping" when eating sugar. My body digests food in the same way it always has.. just with a smaller stomach! Some people need the RNY, but I felt that I could make it work with just the VSG.

    So I hope this answers your question. I chose the surgery because I simply could not face the rest of my life having to feel deprived and hungry all the time.. Now with the surgery, I can maintain an appropriate calorie intake for my body and feel satisfied with that calorie amount.

    I could have written this same post. For me, the surgery was about controlling my hunger. I would lose weight but I was always sooo hungry. Eventually I would just give in & eat until I was not hungry anymore. Then I would gain the weight back. Maybe I produce more ghrelin than other people--I don't know. Even after my surgery (also had a VSG)--that same weekend, I was still hungry. The difference is that now I can eat the small portions that everyone is supposed to eat & actually be satisfied. If that means I have "cheated" because I am no longer suffering enough for everyone else, then so be it. How many years do you have to be hungry before you are considered to have paid your dues? I spent my whole life waiting for my next meal because I was never satisfied after I ate. Now I can make better choices about my food because I'm not driven by constant hunger. Does that mean I don't have enough "will power" & everyone can look down on me? Go for it. I was not willing to spend the next several years struggling to lose the weight the "right" way that everyone talks about while starving & having my health & quality of life continue to deteriorate. I think if people cannot recognize the hard work & struggle that a WLS patient goes through even if it is not the same hard work & struggle that they face, then there is nothing more to be said to them. So many people complain about WLS patients not telling others about their surgery, but the negative attitude & the "you cheated" type comments make it pretty certain that many won't. I tell anyone who asks. I want everyone to know what a life saver the surgery was for me & I would encourage anyone who is willing to do the work to do it.
  • etak17
    etak17 Posts: 71 Member
    To the OP:

    What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22169760
    Surg Obes Relat Dis. 2012 Jul-Aug;8(4):440-4. doi: 10.1016/j.soard.2011.09.022. Epub 2011 Oct 6.
    Roux-en-Y gastric bypass ameliorates polycystic ovary syndrome and dramatically improves conception rates: a 9-year analysis.

    Abstract
    BACKGROUND:
    Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common cause of infertility, especially in the morbidly obese. We evaluated the long-term effects of Roux-en-Y gastric bypass on PCOS and infertility.

    METHODS:
    A total of 566 morbidly obese women underwent Roux-en-Y gastric bypass from 2000 to 2009. A total of 31 patients (5.5%) had a history of PCOS. Of the 31 patients, 6 were postmenopausal and 5 lost to follow-up and were excluded. Telephone interviews were conducted with the 20 eligible patients.

    RESULTS:
    The mean age and body mass index was 32 ± 5.8 years (range 22-42) and 52.8 ± 9.08 kg/m(2) (range 37-76) before surgery. All 20 patients had ≥ 2 of 3 diagnostic criteria for PCOS, including clinical or biochemical evidence of hyperandrogenism, anovulation, or polycystic ovaries. Of these, 85% had oligomenorrhea, 70% had hirsutism, and 45% had type 2 diabetes mellitus with medication. Before surgery, 8 patients conceived with or without hormonal treatment, 2 did not desire pregnancy, and 10 did not conceive. The mean follow-up was 46.7 months. After surgical weight loss, menstruation was corrected in 82%, hirsutism had resolved in 29%, and 77.8% of those with diabetes had complete remission. Of the 10 patients who did not conceive before surgery, 4 no longer desired pregnancy, and the remaining 6 patients had become pregnant within 3 years of surgery-5 without any hormonal treatment and 1 with in utero insemination.[/b]

    CONCLUSION:
    Surgical weight loss after Roux-en-Y gastric bypass achieves excellent amelioration of PCOS manifestations and the postoperative conception rate in infertile PCOS subjects desiring pregnancy was 100%.
  • Georgielee37
    Georgielee37 Posts: 113 Member
    As the sister of TJ, I saw first hand everything she has gone through and it has not been an easy ride. Yes part of me is very jealous because her weight is coming off so fast right now, but she is working her *kitten* off for it. I don't think others really think of it as cheating if they were honest I bet they are more jealous then anything. Honestly after being with her during her surgery I am not sure I could do and I damn sure know I couldn't afford it at this time. Besides I smoke and am not ready to give that up. Op go for it and anyone that truly cares about you will be proud of you just like I am proud of TJ. She just started this journey and is doing great so far. I'm still jealous but very happy for her.
  • Georgielee37
    Georgielee37 Posts: 113 Member
    I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


    Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

    Erm... you do know that WLS is only a catalyst right? YOu know that even after the surgery they have to work hard, and eat properly or they can undo everything they have done right?


    I have a friend who has had WLS, she has had amazing results, but I also know she works her *kitten* off (literally) to maintain what she has lost and she worked her *kitten* off to lose that weight. WLS is NOT a fix, it is a tool, one that if used properly is a wonderful tool, they still have to maintain a healthy lifestyle which includes a good diet and exercise to get to the goal they want.

    OP ignore everyone and their remarks, do what YOU need to do for YOU and no one else.

    ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!

    I had surgery a month ago tomorrow and I am still working just as hard now as I did before the surgery to lose weight and gain strength. Don't listen to those people who haven't gone thru it, they have no idea what they are talking about if they think its cheating or the easy way to lose weight. Its not.

    Yes, you do see some great results at first, but the you will hit plateaus just like everyone else and if your not following all the rules laid out for you you will gain it back. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I have no doubt that there are people out there that joined a gym and worked their *kitten* off to get in shape and then let it all fall apart because they got complacent so they have no room to judge people that used surgery as a tool. Just like a gym or a food scale, surgery is a TOOL.

    You people need to get off your high-horses if you haven't been thru it and be supporting because I guarantee people that have had the surgery have a lot more challenges than you do. People that judge someone else's choice, shouldn't, because I bet there is something you do in your life that others would be appalled at.

    OP do what you need to do and remember to just surround yourself with people that understand your situation and support you and get rid of the ones that dont.

    As the sister of TJ, I saw first hand everything she has gone through and it has not been an easy ride. Yes part of me is very jealous because her weight is coming off so fast right now, but she is working her *kitten* off for it. I don't think others really think of it as cheating if they were honest I bet they are more jealous then anything. Honestly after being with her during her surgery I am not sure I could do and I damn sure know I couldn't afford it at this time. Besides I smoke and am not ready to give that up. Op go for it and anyone that truly cares about you will be proud of you just like I am proud of TJ. She just started this journey and is doing great so far. I'm still jealous but very happy for her.Sorry this is on twice I didn't do it right the first time. :)
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
    As the sister of TJ, I saw first hand everything she has gone through and it has not been an easy ride. Yes part of me is very jealous because her weight is coming off so fast right now, but she is working her *kitten* off for it. I don't think others really think of it as cheating if they were honest I bet they are more jealous then anything. Honestly after being with her during her surgery I am not sure I could do and I damn sure know I couldn't afford it at this time. Besides I smoke and am not ready to give that up. Op go for it and anyone that truly cares about you will be proud of you just like I am proud of TJ. She just started this journey and is doing great so far. I'm still jealous but very happy for her.Sorry this is on twice I didn't do it right the first time. :)

    I don't think it is jealousy to think that using surgery as a substitute for willpower is not a great idea.

    The only thing that surgery accomplishes is that it makes you EAT LESS. And the fact that people see it as impossible or too difficult without the surgery, that's what bothers me. That so many see it as a "last resort" and eating less on their own is just not an option. So yes, I know I will get jumped for this, but I do see people who want weight loss surgery to be extremely weak willed.

    I"m not jealous. I have about 10lb more till my ultimate goal weight and I love enjoying a cheat meal once in a while. A piece of wonderful cream pastry or a large beer. And freedom of lifestyle that you still get to enjoy when you get there on your own, healthy, without unnecessarily altering your body.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    If I didn't know that I would figure out a way to cheat the surgery adaptation, I guess I might consider it.

    But I know myself too well. Plus, I have Postcholecystectomy syndrome, which is very much like dumping syndrome and I don't want anyone going in and making my innards WORSE.

    I've failed and failed and failed with weight loss in the past. Each time I've ended up fatter. But at least I have an intact digestive system.

    I'm working hard to do this on my own. At least by eating better my Post cholecystectomy syndrome is less bothersome.

    Good luck to all on both sides of the issue. Health and happiness! :drinker:
  • I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

    I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

    I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

    Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

    I have an honest question. How does making your stomach smaller change your hormones? Shouldn't you have hormone therapy to change your hormone levels?

    I don't know if this has been answered yet, but I too have issues with hormones which made it very very difficult for my to lose weight. I am not blaming it 100% on them, but it did have a huge impact. After having countless appointments with everyone ranging from GYN, Prime Care, surgeons, etc, etc, it was determined that weightloss would help my hormone levels. I don't know the exact chemical reactions that make this true, but the occular headaches from the hormones have lessened in severity as well as some other hormone-related issuses I have suffered from. Losing weight has a huge impact on hormones
  • I NEVER had surgery. I changed my mindset and attitude, and therefore have lost successfully and kept the weight off. I know several people who had the surgery but thought it would solve their problems without changing their mindset. They gained the weight back.

    You are 100% accurate. I had surgery a little over a month ago, and know ppl who have been successful and know people who have failed. Surgery is a tool, and if you look at it as "the fix" vs. a tool there is no hope for long-term success
  • This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.

    I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?



    These are not polite customers asking if they can order off the the senior menu or kids menu. These are demanding customers that order the regular meal, then want it discounted because they can only eat a portion of it. I have never seen a menu with a WLS/Lap band section on it. Unless you have worked in food service, you have no idea how rude and demanding people can be.

    I'm sorry you have had really demanding customers, but to try to promote the concept that these people poorly communicated to you, the program I am part of actually hands out cards to the patients to present to the servers. I know it can be annoying, especially during a busy shift, but most places haven't given me any issue whatsoever.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    My sister was obese her entire life. She had a serious food addiction and refused to admit it. She tried OA, weight watchers, etc. You name it,she tried it. She was miserable. 5 yrs ago she got lapband surgery. She could eat very little after the surgery and it was seriously like a heroin addict going through withdrawals. She was not someone you wanted to be around, but she stuck to it ( she could have had them remove the fill at any time but didn't) She lost 350 lbs in 1 yr ( maybe not the best way but it worked for her) and has kept it off for 4 yrs and eats healthier than anyone I know and works out like crazy. Watching her go through that showed me that the surgery was not cheating for her. It took a lot of work. She got help with her addiction and is now the happiest person I know and I'm proud of her.
  • nolongerXXL
    nolongerXXL Posts: 222 Member
    With out reading all of the comments. I will post what I used to think and what I think now.

    Even though my mom had her stomach stapled back in the 80's and never really took control of her weight even with the surgery, I have always known deep down that WLS was not a "free ticket" if you will.

    I have now as I've grown older, realized that WLS is hard work and a person must work on improving their eating habits, increased exercise and of course watch what they are eating or it will not work!! I have heard people talk go have had by-passes and they will say I can eat that double cheese burger as long as I don't eat the top bun. Obviously this is not what the surgery is for. Also the surgery has failed to help those people.

    On the other hand I have have seen people who have worked hard along with WLS and they have done wonderfully. So, IMO, WLS requires a dedication to eating right, watching portions (by-pass and stomach stapling allow for stretching over time) and get up and get MOVING!!

    I have considered WLS myself, but here is the thing. I know it is not a catch all fix, you have be active in the the process and change your own habits or the WLS will fail. I don't have the $$ to have the surgery, nor am I 100% sure that this is something I want. I have decided to do it on my own and try to teach myself better eating habits and get in the routine of exercising, which hopefully will make it stick with me.

    Finally, I used to think of WLS as the cure all fix for weight related problems. It really isn't and requires active participation from the person to change their habits, with saying that, I don't consider it cheating if you take all the proper steps and work hard during the process.

    I wish you the BEST of luck and sincerely hope that this is the answer to help you.:heart:
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    You still have to make a lifestyle change... you don't take steroids and get magically get ripped just like surgery doesn't make the fat magically go away. If you have a medical issue that would make surgery more optimal for your health than I see no problem... but it always brings me back to...

    How lucky are we to have one of our biggest problems be TOO much food?
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
    I wouldn't say that it's cheating, but ....

    It's just a medical replacement for willpower and discipline IMO.

    Judge much? Weight loss surgery requires lifelong commitment to a healthy regimen followed closely by a doctor. It's vitally important to get enough water, keep electrolytes balanced, on and on and on. It's not easy or any kind of shortcut for someone who can achieve weight loss otherwise. If it has been recommended by a doctor and agreed upon by the patient, everyone else can go ..... Sweetie - you don't owe anyone an explanation. Find what works for you and just get healthy. My sister was a trainer and her husband makes custom gym equipment. She gained weight after a back injury then went into high blood pressure. She was in and out of the hospital, on bedrest at home, etc. She couldn't lose weight even under supervision. Bariatric surgery saved her life. This is a sore subject for me.
  • This type of surgery is between you and your doctor. However, I get patients ready for surgery all the time who have regained most if not all of the weight they lost due to gastric bypass. True, others have kept the weight off. It isn't just the surgery, you have to change your whole life, exercise, eat better. Seek psychiatric help. Why did you get so big in the first place? There's so many factors. Socio-economic, cultural, etc. Were you abused as a child? Did your family make you eat everything on your plate because you grew up poor and not eating everything was wasteful. Does your family center all gatherings around food? Rarely is it a medical issue, like thyroid or other metabolic diseases. It's usually something mental. After you have this surgery, will you be able to exercise? Or, do you live in an area where that is very difficult?, ie, can't get to a gym, no trails for walking, the humid heat of living in the south, etc. Do you have access to fresh fruit and veges? Close to get to farmers market? Are you committed to keeping the weight off? It's so sad for me to get people ready for surgery who have a BMI of 56, who have already had gastric bypass, they usually say, I just went back to eating like I used to and/or didn't exercise.

    As for cheating, I don't think it's that so much. It's a serious surgery. Very serious. Do you know what you're getting yourself into? Good communication with your doctor is important. I think seeing a dietician or nutritionist is important after surgery, along with an exercise regime. If you do something as serious as this just to lose the weight and NOT change your life, you're in for trouble in my opinion.

    Good luck and speedy recovery for all those who do get it.
  • basschick
    basschick Posts: 3,502 Member
    Haven't read the other posts, but I definitely don't see it as cheating. My sister had PCOS and insulin resistance and weighed 440 lbs. There was no way she was going to lose that weight without surgery. The months that followed her gastric bypass surgery were like a roller coaster for her. I remember her crying tears of joy with every milestone: being able to wear jeans again, being able to bend over to tie her shoes, walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, etc. There were also many days when she said if she had to do it over again she would not have had the surgery. She was plagued by serious digestive problems for years and some days she couldn't leave the house because of severe diarrhea. The diet was also very hard to stick to over the long haul. I wish you well and hope you don't have some of the complications that she did.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    As long as you lose the weight and keep it off who cares what anyone considers it . . .
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
    I don't think there is anything wrong with the surgery.

    BUT (and yes, I know what using but here means)

    I'm disappointed that too many doctors recommend it to patients that SHOULD NOT get it. I have only one case and it hits close to home. My niece, she weighed 280 lbs and was 20 years old when the doctor recommended it. She jumped on it, got the surgery and now, three years later, is gaining the 100 lbs she lost back! She was not ready (mentally) to employ the lifestyle change needed to be successful after the surgery and any idiot who spent five minutes talking to her would have been able to see it.

    So for those that get it and then keep the weight off... there's nothing wrong with it.

    In cases like my niece... grrr.

    I once had a gynecologist suggest at the same weight and age that I get a gastric bypass. I mentioned nothing about weight issues, she handed me a pamphlet and started preaching to me about it. I didn't go back to her.
  • sem41278
    sem41278 Posts: 89 Member
    I don't think its cheating. I know people who have had it and work hard. I wouldn't want to mess around with my insides though. Never being able to eat certain things again without being sick doesn't sound fun either. However I totally understand needing it as a tool. I have some how mustered up the motivation to get myself together but I totally understand the feeling of desperation.
  • canoe4you
    canoe4you Posts: 8 Member
    I was considering it for about a year and paid out of pocket about $1000 to see a overpriced dietician, psychologist, and nurse but after hearing all of the side effects, the restrictions on how you have to eat your food and when you eat it and how invasive it is I had lots of doubts. The team I went to was very state-of-the-art to a fault, i felt swindled like they were not really concerned about what was best for me and my health and only what was best for their pocketbook and making their facility seem the most fancy and their statistics look the nicest. Horrible support and they made it feel like I could not lose weight without the surgery because I would just gain it all back.

    I might be out of $1000 but I am trying now to prove them wrong and do it the old fashion way so that I have much more control over my body. I have been morbidly obese most of my life and know it is not easy battling eating disorders but I hope I can stay on track. I am only 25 though and do not suffer from PCOS like the OP. I don't feel that it is cheating for those who truly need it. I don't know much about PCOS or the people here commenting about having it and saying they lost the weight even with it. Everyone is different, she might be genuinely putting in the extra effort and need that push, it is up to her to decide if it is right for her to go through that risk. It is a very big one and can come with lots of complications and takes lots of work to keep the results. I'm sure you already know but you have to take the vitamin B supplements the rest of your life if you get the RNY or duodenal switch plus you can not take aspirin ever again even if you do gain the weight back. It is a very serious and invasive surgery.

    Don't worry about what others think, if you always worry about that, even family you will never be happy. I used to do that and never would go outside and I ballooned to 300 pounds. I don't worry about what others think of me anymore even when they immediately get off the treadmill next to me when i walk in at the gym because I can't change other people, just myself. Good luck with whatever decision you make, just make sure you make an informed one.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
    I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

    I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

    I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

    Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

    I have a lot of weight to lose too, and I could probably get WLS if I pushed it. I am not going to though because it is invasive, I could die, and often does not result in lasting weight loss. I know I can lose weight and maintain the traditional way if I just keep following the program the rest of my life. I don't think WLS is cheating either but I keep coming back to the fact that it is so unsafe.