Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

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  • sucg
    sucg Posts: 36
    Cheating? For some maybe but let me tell you about myself. In short I developed kidney failure 5 years ago. Due to bad eating habits and steroids and inactivity my weight ballooned to 150Kg. Huge, Actually super huge. 150Kg how could my weight and body be so big without me noticing.

    At dialysis i had to stand on the scales twice a day, before my session and after. It was soul destroying. I needed to do something and with the help of a dietician my healthy life style began. For the first time in my life my mind was in the zone as they say.

    The hospital staff were so supportive, even though i was losing weight they told me that i had to warn my children and close friends that one day i might die. How do you tell a 22,15 and 10 year old that you might not be around. I struggled with this, surley my life would be spared now that i knew how to look after my health, well eating and light exercising at least. It made me more determined/obsessive to lose more weight.

    I worked so hard but one day my transplant surgeon came to see me. Su he said you have done a great job, but you need to lose more weight. I know says i, and thats just what i'm planning to do. Great says he but you need to do it quicker. Quicker says me, I've lost 30 Kgs in 3 months,. You havent got enough time to lose weight at this rate, you need a transplant yesterday. We can get you help but its a big step. He talked to me for ages but the only words i heard were gastric surgery.

    It was like my worst nightmare. I could die in surgery, It was to drastic, healthy eating was the way surely. All of this was true but i would be dead sooner rather than later if i didn't have a transplant and i was still 20 Kgs to heavy for the kidney surgery. Having already told my girls i love them, having made a will and planned my funeral i guess i had to give myself the hope of still being around for my girls.

    On the 4th of July 2012 i had a kidney transplant at 93 Kgs. Instantly my colour change, how had i not seen how gray i looked. The 4 hour sessions at dialysis stopped and i was well enough to take care of my children again properly.

    As for cheating, not me. I've worked dam hard to get here. I weigh 78Kg now. I only ever had my band blown up by 4 mls of fluid, most people have 10mls every 3 months. I havent needed it. I'm in the zone. I'm eating 1200 cals a day, keep my protein high. I am to do an hours exercise 3 times a week minimum. there no 6oz meals for me. My band was just the start. It got my weight where it needed to be, the rest i have done myself. My gastric band surgeon only ever expected me to lose half of the weight i have and i'm apparently one of the few to have kept it off. I've still got a bit more to lose but i'm much more healthy now in all ways.

    Good luck. You CAN do it. Its not cheating just a step in your journey. Cant wait to hear from a healthier and happier you soon. Add me if it will help. Negativity comes from people who have never stood in your shoes. Su x x
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
    I am not going to comment one way or the other about weight loss surgery being "cheating." You "cheat" on games and your health isn't a game. I have long believed weight loss surgery has its place – specifically, when the patient is unable to take the steps (regardless of how slow or frustrating the process may be) to lose the weight naturally and their life is in dire danger as a result of their excess weight. Bedridden individuals spring to mind. What concerns me most with the surgery is when people who have a moderate amount to weight to lose and no medical or physical hindrance to losing it opt for surgery. The fact is, NOBODY gets overweight, obese or morbidly obese by simply being hungry – there must be some sort of underlying behavioral and/or psychological issues driving the compulsion to eat in excess. A couple pre-op sessions with a staff psychologist or MFT can't properly address those issues. Reducing the size of the stomach most certainly does not address those issues.

    This is just one person's experience and opinion. At my highest weight – nearly 300 lbs – I qualified for weight loss surgery, my medical insurance would have picked up the tab. But I knew in my heart of hearts that my stomach wasn't the problem. I had to teach myself to eat property, I had to become an active person and I had to change my views about myself and my health. Once that happened, I lost the weight. What's more, I have the tools to keep it off for the rest of my life and I have a respect for myself, my discipline, my balls-to-the-wall drive and the self kindness I as finally able to feel and express.
  • divaford140
    divaford140 Posts: 2,511 Member
    I consider weight loss surgery as cheating simply because your weight loss is based off a procedure. There is no hard work and dedication put into transforming your body. Although I see absolutely nothing wrong with the surgery, I do become a bit irriated when I see success stories of people "claiming" to have lost 130 lbs of hard work and dedication. As long as you're honest about your journey, then go for it. On the other hand, you owe no one any explanations, so you in essence, don't really have to be honest if you don't want to. This is just my take on the Gastric Bypass Cheating. I support you for your BRAVERY to go under the knife....something I would never have the guts to do ;-).

    I have to say that I am a little offended about you saying that surgery doesn't take hard work and dedication. I have a hormone imbalance that made it near impossible for me to lose weight, and instead of waiting for diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and who knows what else, I decided to have gastric bypass. I have thought about and and gone back and forth for 5 years now. With bypass you are making the commitment that you will take vitamins and supplements FOREVER. Yes, the weight comes off easily at the beginning, but that by no means is an indicator for future success. Just like every other person trying to maintain or achieve a healthy weight we must diet and exercise. Do you have the dedication to never eat a cheeseburger or ice cream sundae again? We have to. For instance, I will never again be able to eat more than 10g of sugar or 6g of fat in a meal. That means on the really bad "I just want a burger day" I have to find a substitute.
    I understand bypass isnt for everyone, and it doesn't have to be put on public display either. Thats like asking a couple who used IVF to announce it when speaking about their child. Sometimes people need medical help to reach their goals and there simply is nothing wrong with that.

    If someone goes into surgery thinking it will be a quick fix, they will have no long term success, but if they think of it as a tool (like glasses, or a knee replacement) then the chances of long term success sky rocket.

    You by no means have to agree with my opinion, but please dont undermine all of the hard work and dedication it takes to be successful no matter the means you choose.

    Actually I'm not replying tothe question but just have a honest curious question of my own - if the surgery inables you to eat a lot and the wrong stuff (i.e. a cheeseburger) how is it that people gain the weight back. I'm not trying to be funny just uneducated as to how that works. I only know of 2 people second hand that had the surgery and I'm pretty sure they eat junk now well I know one of them does just cause I happen to be around when they're eating it. Just curious?
  • victoriannsays
    victoriannsays Posts: 568 Member
    Do not let anyone tell you that you are cheating by getting weight loss surgery. Is it possible to lose weight with out it? Yep. It's your life. Your choice on how you want to proceed with your own weight loss journey.



    **** It is not and end all be all to weight loss. It is a TOOL to aid you in the process of becoming a healthier you ***



    The hard work begins after your surgery. You have to adhere to a new lifestyle. This is your life and your decision. Don't look to a forum for answers to this because you won't find very many supportive people here. Look to your family and friends.

    Good luck in whatever you choose.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Surgery isn't cheating... is wearing eye glasses cheating? What about a knee brace? If you dont do what you are supposed to do with these other "cheats", then your ailment won;t get better. Just like with bypass, if you dont do what you are supposed to, you will gain all the weight back. Surgery isnt cheating, its a personal decision. Honestly, when you get to your goal weight, when someone asks how you did it you can say "hard work and exercise" because that is the truth. Surgery is hard work, and you must exercise. Be happy in your decision to change!

    Are you really trying to compare WLS to needing glasses? Do you see how you can't compare these two things? One is within our control, the other is not.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    I know people who have had the surgery, lost 100+ lbs.....and gain it alllll back....just saying

    My mother, father, and sister all had this surgery and have successfully kept their weight off for 2-5 years. My sister and mother now run half marathons. All three do triathlons. Just saying.
  • birdgal
    birdgal Posts: 17
    Here are some stats:

    95 percent of people regain weight lost within 5 years

    70 percent of weight loss surgery folks keep off at least 50 percent of weight lost after 5 years.

    Just saying, which stats do you like? For me, it was the second one, and I have been maintaining a 100 lb weight loss for almost 3 years. It takes constant awareness, change in lifestyle, exercise, including weight training to be successful. People who regain weight, whether they had weight loss surgery or not, is because they have not made the needed changes in lifestyle to be successful. Obesity is a chronic illness and is obviously, very difficult to deal with. It has multifactorial reasons and causes.

    For many, many people weight loss surgery helps to resolve diabetes, PCOS, joint problems, and has given them a second chance at a healthier and more active lifestyle. Losing weight is the easier part. Maintenance is where the rubber meets the road. For me, it has been a precious gift and has given me a second chance at a healthier and more active lifestyle. I thrive on exercise, including weight training and appreciate being able to complete a Spin or TRX class. I would do it again, to feel as good as I do now.
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
    Here are some stats:

    95 percent of people regain weight lost within 5 years

    70 percent of weight loss surgery folks keep off at least 50 percent of weight lost after 5 years.

    Just saying, which stats do you like? For me, it was the second one, and I have been maintaining a 100 lb weight loss for almost 3 years. It takes constant awareness, change in lifestyle, exercise, including weight training to be successful. People who regain weight, whether they had weight loss surgery or not, is because they have not made the needed changes in lifestyle to be successful. Obesity is a chronic illness and is obviously, very difficult to deal with. It has multifactorial reasons and causes.

    For many, many people weight loss surgery helps to resolve diabetes, PCOS, joint problems, and has given them a second chance at a healthier and more active lifestyle. Losing weight is the easier part. Maintenance is where the rubber meets the road. For me, it has been a precious gift and has given me a second chance at a healthier and more active lifestyle. I thrive on exercise, including weight training and appreciate being able to complete a Spin or TRX class. I would do it again, to feel as good as I do now.

    I don't mean to start WWIII but there is nothing easy about losing weight without surgery. Everything you do for maintenance, I had to do from day one just to lose the weight.
  • spfldpam
    spfldpam Posts: 738 Member
    Surgery isn't cheating... is wearing eye glasses cheating? What about a knee brace? If you dont do what you are supposed to do with these other "cheats", then your ailment won;t get better. Just like with bypass, if you dont do what you are supposed to, you will gain all the weight back. Surgery isnt cheating, its a personal decision. Honestly, when you get to your goal weight, when someone asks how you did it you can say "hard work and exercise" because that is the truth. Surgery is hard work, and you must exercise. Be happy in your decision to change!

    Great post! :)
  • spfldpam
    spfldpam Posts: 738 Member
    I consider weight loss surgery as cheating simply because your weight loss is based off a procedure. There is no hard work and dedication put into transforming your body. Although I see absolutely nothing wrong with the surgery, I do become a bit irriated when I see success stories of people "claiming" to have lost 130 lbs of hard work and dedication. As long as you're honest about your journey, then go for it. On the other hand, you owe no one any explanations, so you in essence, don't really have to be honest if you don't want to. This is just my take on the Gastric Bypass Cheating. I support you for your BRAVERY to go under the knife....something I would never have the guts to do ;-).

    Saying that something is "cheating" implies a lower level of effort or skill are required - and that you are possibly violating some rule - to attain the same results. That. Is. Not. The. Case. with gastric bypass. It requires an incredible level of effort, bravery and will to be successful. It requires a life-long level of commitment. I'd put it right up there with Marriage on the scale of major life changes.

    I have been obese all my life - I mean that literally. I was obese even as a small child. My bad eating habits were as ingrained into my mind as my speech patterns are - and just like you'd need serious treatment or therapy to change your speech patterns, I needed serious treatment to change my eating patterns. Gastric Bypass was what I needed; it changed my perception of food and exercise on a level I didn't even understand was possible.


    Having an RNY Gastric Bypass was the best decision I'd ever made in my life.

    Great post!
  • sucg
    sucg Posts: 36
    please dont undermine all of the hard work and dedication it takes to be successful no matter the means you choose.
    [/quote]

    Here here

    I raise my hat to everyone who wants good health and happiness for themselves no matter what tools they use to get there. knowledge, friendship and support help, lets keep negative thought to ourselves. Su x
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I wouldn't say that it's cheating, but ....

    It's just a medical replacement for willpower and discipline IMO.

    At first glance I agreed, but then I thought, no, I don't agree completely, because even with a medical procedure, they can still gain all the weight back if they don't have willpower and discipline in the long term.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    To answer all of you "well if you can lose weight on your own for the preop why can't you just keep doing that" or "if all it takes is to eat 4 ounces of food a meal, then do that and you don't need surgery" people....THESE ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC STATEMENTS I HAVE HEARD ON THIS FORUM.. (other than the people who think they're in starvation mode because they missed lunch, but that's another topic entirely)

    OBVIOUSLY eating these low amounts of calories isn't sustainable for most people and that's why they gain the weight back... That's why 98% of morbidly obese people who attempt to lose weight with diet and exercise alone will fail. I HAVE lost weight before MANY TIMES.. I simply cannot sustain the calorie deficit I need to .. even with a healthy diet. It is ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE to feel hungry all the freaking time. I was able to lose 70 pounds SEVENTY POUNDS!!!! before my surgery through diet and exercise alone.. The only thing that kept me going was the light at the end of the tunnel.. and that light for me was surgery day. Since my surgery, I still have to battle the mental aspects of eating, I still have to choose eat broccoli instead of french fries. I still have to choose to drown my sorrows in a brisk walk rather than in ice cream... but with the surgery, it's possible for me to more consistently make the right choices because I don't have the constant discomfort of the physical hunger. It's still not easy, I WANT the freaking french fries, but now I'm able to better resist.
  • birdgal
    birdgal Posts: 17
    Even during weight loss, one has to make the healthier choices, learn to eat correctly, and exercise. If people do not do this, they will not lose weight and will regain. There isn't anything easy, either way. Weight loss and maintenance require hard work, whether one has surgery or not.

    If it didn't work, it wouldn't be approved by insurance companies and the government. Obviously, there is enough success to justify a radical procedure.
  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
    "If it didn't work, it wouldn't be approved by insurance companies and THE GOVERNMENT. Obviously, there is enough success to justify a radical procedure."
    [/quote]

    This is part of what bothers me.My neighbor had WLS,paid for by the state, after she was admitted to the hospital due to
    gangrene.She had to have a portion of her intestine removed due to her weight.She was over 500 pounds,a single mom of three kids.

    She gained back every pound she lost.

    Obviously,the psychology didn't change and she was willing to risk her life again despite her children.

    If you're not in the right mindset to make the change it's not going to work.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    I don't mean to start WWIII but there is nothing easy about losing weight without surgery. Everything you do for maintenance, I had to do from day one just to lose the weight.

    Weight loss surgery isn't liposuction. It's not like the fat is just sucked out through a tube and you are left with a beach body. The loss comes due to a calorie restriction, just like "normal" weight loss. The patient is just UNABLE to eat or absorb as much as they used to without getting ill. It's not like people get this surgery and lose 100 pounds eating 3000 calories/day. You can cheat and get around it by eating more frequently--so people who lose the weight due to surgery are still doing it themselves.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    I know people who have had the surgery, lost 100+ lbs.....and gain it alllll back....just saying

    My mother, father, and sister all had this surgery and have successfully kept their weight off for 2-5 years. My sister and mother now run half marathons. All three do triathlons. Just saying.


    I said I know people.... I did not say everyone.
  • birdgal
    birdgal Posts: 17
    "She gained back every pound she lost.

    Obviously,the psychology didn't change and she was willing to risk her life again despite her children.

    If you're not in the right mindset to make the change it's not going to work.

    This is the essence for everyone who has lost weight and tried to maintain. Changing the mindset, attitude, and lifestyle are crucial for success, with or without surgery.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    "If it didn't work, it wouldn't be approved by insurance companies and THE GOVERNMENT. Obviously, there is enough success to justify a radical procedure."
    This is part of what bothers me.My neighbor had WLS,paid for by the state, after she was admitted to the hospital due to
    gangrene.She had to have a portion of her intestine removed due to her weight.She was over 500 pounds,a single mom of three kids.

    She gained back every pound she lost.

    Obviously,the psychology didn't change and she was willing to risk her life again despite her children.

    If you're not in the right mindset to make the change it's not going to work.

    You're absolutely right.. if you don't have the right mindset, it WON'T WORK. The fact is, there are MANY people who DO have the right mindset.. and for them it DOES work... as evidenced by the fact that WLS have a 50-70% success rate while diet and exercise alone among morbidly obese people have a 2-5% success rate. That's a HUGE difference. Still a lot of failures with the surgery.. but exponentially more successes than diet and exercise alone.
  • Vickil57
    Vickil57 Posts: 1,881 Member
    First off I feel this is a personal choice. And only a tool. You still have to make choices and exercise. I thought about it a long time. And a person can not just dicide to have WLS then do it. I had to take a program from my insurance company for over 6 months and have a metal health test. I had lap band done Nov 2013. I feel I am very lucky as my doctor works with me and I see him every four weeks to have band ajustments. I have lost 70 pounds and still have 130 pounds to lose. I have been overweight my whole life and this was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Is it easy, no, but worth it. I also have two sisters who had the by pass surgery. They both lost and then gained it back plus some. My step dad and another person I work with had the lap band done with good results. The one thing about the lap band is it can be ajusted for life. I still had to learn to make better choices and make a lifestyle change. Each person has to do what is right for them.
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
    I don't think it's cheating at all. I think it has to be the most painful way possible to lose weight. I could never see myself choosing a major surgical procedure that will affect the quantity/timing of food I can eat for my entire life over diet and exercise, but I've never had to lose more than 15 pounds and even then I was within a healthy weight.

    I think someone who is at the point of surgery probably has some pretty compelling reasons to go through with it.

    Best of luck to you.
  • momofJandA
    momofJandA Posts: 1,035 Member
    As someone who suffers from PCOS . . . . your PCOS is not making it "IMPOSSIBLE" for you to lose weight- it is making it harder and a longer process, but not impossible

    For the sake of the conversation I am curious how you manage your PCOS and weight loss. My initial thought is through hormone therapy. Is that correct?

    actually no . . . . I manage my PCOS and weight loss through DIET and EXERCISE- a strict diet and a whole hell of a lot of exercise- I work my a** off each and every day (literally and figuratively)- hence why I said it is a harder and longer journey than someone without PCOS. My point was stop making excuses- if someone wants surgery, then get the damn surgery but don't say "its because of PCOS- I can't lose weight :sad: "
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    actually no . . . . I manage my PCOS and weight loss through DIET and EXERCISE- a strict diet and a whole hell of a lot of exercise- I work my a** off each and every day (literally and figuratively)- hence why I said it is a harder and longer journey than someone without PCOS. My point was stop making excuses- if someone wants surgery, then get the damn surgery but don't say "its because of PCOS- I can't lose weight :sad: "

    but everybody is different. my caloric intake and exercise may not produce the same results for someone else who has my general size and dimensions.
  • Susan823
    Susan823 Posts: 18 Member
    It's not cheating it's a tool to help. In the end it's still you that's doing all the work of eating heathly and exercising! When I mentioned it to my family the 1 person I thought I would have to convince was all for it. The ones I thought would support me are against it :(
    In the end it's your body and you need to do what's right for you! Where I live I had to go to an info session first before starting the road to GBS; I asked some of my family and friends to come with but no one would so I went by myself to learn more about the procedures. Unless someone has been in the same postition with struggling with their weight they will never understand.
  • This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.
  • jrniven
    jrniven Posts: 74 Member
    I think that only cheating is cheating yourself at a new chance at life by not getting the surgery if all else fails. I have a few friends that had it done, and their quality of life is so much better. You only live once. Why cheat yourself out of a better life?
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


    Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

    You work just as HARD, if not HARDER, after weight loss surgery than anyone does to lose the weight. It is only a TOOL. You still have to do the work. The weight doesn't just fall off. It means completely changing your life--immediately. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WE DON'T WORK AS HARD HAS NO CLUE.
  • WifeofPJ
    WifeofPJ Posts: 312
    I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

    I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

    I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

    Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

    I'm just woundering have you tried talking to a dietition who specializes in PCOS or trying the PCOSDIVA Jump Start Program. Trust me I know how hard it is to loose and maintain weightloss when you have PCOS as I too have PCOS. I have found when I remove most of the processed foods from my diet and limit my added sugar intake loosing the weight has been so much eaiser I'm down 50lbs in 4 months.
    But remember you can't get rid of PCOS there is no cure just maintaing a healthy lifestyle to maintain symptoms so you are still going to have to eat low carb limit your processed foods greatly and stay away from simple carbs.
    I do have a friend wit PCOS who has had the weightloss surgery she does stay very active and tries to watch what she eats, she is startign to gain a little back so she is going to see a dietition to get things back on track.

    There is a PCOS group here on MFP I'd really suggest going there and getting ideas from the members us women with PCOS have to follow special nutritional guidlines and there are many women who are like me and in our journey to loosing the weight and figuring out how we need to live, but there are also some women who have figured it out, lost the weight and kept it off who have provided women with great advise. If your DR is saying weightloss surgery is the only way I'd really suggest getting a second opinion.

    *** Edit **** Ps. I also get help from Metformin to control my insulin resistance.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I don't think it's cheating. It's so far beyond my range of experience that I really have no business placing any kind of judgement on it. From what I have heard some people do all the right things and it's very effective, some people do not change their lifestyle and it becomes unhealthy, so it's not the method, it's the follow through. I have to admit when I first heard about it (and I was in my early 20's) the whole thing kind of freaked me out a little and seemed worrisome to me for young people. I've learned a little bit more since then.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    It is each person's personal choice as to how they lose weight, but I must admit that most of the people that I have seen get the surgery have looked at it as a quick fix and are now back to eating the same way they used to because they refused the counseling and group support afterward because "they did not need it." Two out of the three have had to have numerous surgeries because they had complications due to overeating. The third has lost and maintained the loss because she followed through with support and exercises a lot unlike the others who "have no time and are too busy."
    That is what makes it seem like cheating when a person knows what to do to make it a success and does not "feel like" doing the follow through and only cares about the short term loss. Basically a difference like having a credit card closed and not having physical access to the money vs setting up a budget and making sure to follow through and choose not spend even though physically you have access to the money.
    It all comes down to changing your habits and your mind set...if you are not there yet it will not be successful.