Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

bethFromDayton

I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

Haters gonna hate?

It sounds to me that you and your doctor are making a decision about what is best for your health. If you and your medical professionals think it is the right thing for you to do right now, then have faith that it is the right thing for *you* to do.

I think a lot of people believe that what is right for them is right for everyone else. Those people often also think that when someone else makes a choice that choice maker is also insinuating that would be the right choice for everyone else. Some of those people (on MFP) spout all sorts of advice as if there's only one way to do things. I don't believe that for a minute. "There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays, "And every single one of them is right!" (Kipling)

Some of us have success with calorie counting. Some require some level (mild to extreme) of carb limitation. Some exercise for general fitness, others lift weights, some do both, some are not exercising and concentrating on food intake. I can only believe that everyone is doing their best at doing what is best for them, even if they're (like me) far from perfect.

I chose not to have weight loss surgery--it wasn't the right choice for me. But that doesn't mean it's not the right choice for you--and it isn't kind of friends and family to be snide. (Snide is never kind.) Given that there are so many negatives for you to deal with, you might need to find responses that you're comfortable with to shut those naysayers down.

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery and recovery.

Ladyinwaiting4

I am thinking perhaps they feel weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out. with surgeries its a quick fix and your not learning how to manage your eating or work out habits or discipline. I am thinking perhaps that is what they might be thinking and why they say its cheating.

I know a lot of people are really old school and feel the only way your are truly a success with weight loss is if you eat right, work out and do it all on your own with no quick fixes. that would be my guess.

ChgingMe

I really can't get with it. Good for you for having the courage to go through with it. I know your medical condition is why you need to do this.

But in my opinion it is a cop out for the people too lazy to do it the hard way. I have never understood why something so drastic and filled with a whole host of possible side effects, up to and including death, was a better option than diet and exercise. Especially when the end result is diet and exercise to maintain the weight lost. Why not just do that in the first place?

I overheard a man at the mall happily answering questions about his upcoming surgery. He said the good thing is that I will have to be in the gym at least 3 days a week and really watch what I eat. I wanted to hit that man upside the head and say. DO THAT NOW!!!

iamkass

I don't care what you do but I'd just like to point out that people saying that they couldn't lose weight so they HAD to have a surgery are full of bologna. The surgery FORCES you to eat less calories. It takes the accountability away so you need to make life changes. Guess what, anybody can eat less calories to lose weight, whether they are forced to do so or not.

If you want to use surgery to help you on your journey, fine. But don't say it's because you had no other choice.

grim_traveller

I don't view it as cheating - I just don't view it as the right option for most people and for many it's a flat out mistake. Why do you have to be cut open and have your insides rearranged in order to eat at a calorie deficit?

If you eat the right foods and plan your meals accordingly, you shouldn't ever go hungry.

I don't know why I had to be cut open and have my insides rearranged in order to eat at a deficit -- but I did. Why are others unable to keep from drinking too much, doing drugs, gambling, stealing, cheating on their SOs, or any of a million other things? I don't know that either. It's all well and good to assert that someone should be able to do something, but it won't make it so.

I have friends that never pay any attention to what they eat, or do any exercise, and yet are a healthy weight. Good for them. They are also unable to accomplish things that are as easy for me as breathing. I don't know why that is, it just is. Neither deserves any pats on the back, as they require little effort.

Everyone is able to do some things, and unable to do others. Mostly it matters very little. But if you need help with something as vital as your health, your very life, stop passing moral judgement and just do it. Or don't. It's a choice.

MrsB123111

Its the cowards way out
when we are out here working our *kitten* off cuz we gotta lose weight- the real way

Two of my most inspiring MFP friends had weight loss surgery. I did not. They have both lost about the same amount of weight as I have.

The ONLY difference between us is that they had the surgery and I didn't. All three of us log food religiously. All three of us workout all the time. All three of us have made lifelong changes in our approach to food and fitness. All three of us have to approach every challenge with willpower and hard work. All three of us are at risk of regaining weight if we fail to retain our new habits - in fact, studies show that of the three of us, I am the most likely to fail.

We all lost weight "the real way." We all worked our *kitten* off.

THANK YOU! From those of us who have had WLS and follow the rules!

I have lost 125 pounds and kept it off for 2 years (and counting). I log my food everyday, exercise and continue to attend all recommended appointments by my physicians.

To those of you that think I took the easy way out... F YOU! I have never done anything that was so difficult in my whole life! WLS changes your life completely. I eat on a schedule, have to take vitamins, and I don't really get "cheat days", unless I want to spend the day vomiting.

It's a push in the right direction that some of us need. When you get to a certain weight, you begin to feel hopeless and that the end result seems unattainable. Not everyone is born with amazing will power. Simple as that. Some people just need the extra help.

Siege_Tank

I can't speak for others, but to answer why people see it as cheating...

In my mind, it's *NO* different than lying to get a script for Adderall (which eliminates appetite) or undergoing liposuction, or any other way that FORCES you to lose weight.

I think I have a fundamental problem with people implementing a solution that removes the choice and free will. Given the freedom back after you're 'cured' and you'll have learned nothing.

Which isn't to say that there isn't a medical necessity for it. If you have a medical problem, like the gal with RA, then it IS a tool, in the way that RA, and it's medications are an anti-tool.

But WLS is WAYYY too commonplace.

lloydrt

To the lady who posted....OP

Check out the side effects and know what could be the worst to happen to you. I didn't have the surgery, but a girl I went to school with had it ,as well 2 of her morbidly obesesisters and one chose not to have it.........all 4 of them are SEVERELY obese

Linda, the girl I went to school with did fine and had not gained the weight back
Sister 1 had it, had complications and gained it all back
Sister 2 had it, had some complications and gained it all back
Sister 3 didnt have it and has her first heart attack and by pass surgery.......shes severely severely obese

strange thing though..................................all sisters stopped speaking to each other within a few years........Linda would get frustrated with sister 1 and 2 about their eating habits and that would erupt into fights

All 3 went after sister 3 for not having the surgery, so now she doesnt speak to the 3, and the other 2 who gained it all back refuse to talk to Linda because she has maintained her weight...............go figure.....

ps, ......my nephews wife had it , lost it all........got divorced from him, gained it all back, and now has lost it all................weird.........also, check out the increase in divorce rates that happen after weight loss surgery......Im not kidding, its high................best wishes and best of luck

spetermann190

I haven't taken time to read the responses ... I am guessing many support and probably some still want to criticize ... I guess my two cents is ... DON't Sweat Anyone Else ... Period ... If it makes sense for you and Especially if it supported/recommended by your Physician then who cares ... you really shouldn't be concerned with what they think ... Do What is Best for YOU ... Continue to live as healthy a lifestyle as you are able and be Happy!

I could have driven my motorcycle or truck 8 miles this morning instead of running ... so did every one that chose to drive to work or wherever they were going "cop out" I could care less ... each of us has to make our own choices ... never will everyone agree with ... always will someone be jealous of ... I say to each his own ... there are too many angry miserable people in the world ... don't let them negatively influence you!

gurlygirlrcr80

Who cares what other people think. My favorite line is ..."i'm doing it the right way" well riddle me this...why are you still overweight after "doing it the right way" for how long? Hows that working out for you? dont tell me after 20 years of being obese you just decided it was now time to start a diet. It's a bunch of BS. It's a different journey for everyone. If you don't keep the weight off, you only have yourself to blame. The people that seem to bash it always fall into the same categories, thin people who never had a weight problem or health issue, overweight people who have delusions of losing weight on their own (i called these people the resolutionists...they clog up the gym every year from january to april) and people who know someone's cousin who had a friend who had a bad surgery...

My bit of advise for you, once you get the surgery...be prepared to work harder than you ever have. The weight will fall off for a short period of time but then it's up to you to work on your diet...yes WORK ON IT to lose more weight. Plan your meals and shop in advance and know your food triggers and learn about macros and TDEE and everything. Educating yourself is the best plan of attack. The more you practice the good habits now (before surgery) the better off you will be in the long run. Pretty quick after the surgery, you will start to feel "normal" again, don't let this fool you that you can eat whatever you want. You will be on a healthy diet the rest of your life.

don't listen to anyone who hasn't had the surgery, they obviously only know rumors and theories. if this is right for you, do it. I don't like tattoos on people but I'm not insulting them for making that choice for their body!!!

Best quote in my opinion...."In order to have something you never had before, be prepared to do something you never have done before"

mattschwartz01

Weight loss surgery should really only be an option for folks that are facing imminent death or danger due to obesity! It is a risky procedure with unknown long term consequences. I would much rather see folks try to it the regular way through diet, exercise, and behavior modification.

vegasjamie

To anyone saying they are against WLS... Get off your high horse. Who cares what other people do to lose weight? I am doing it by diet and exercise, but if I could afford WLS I would do it. Stop being so judgmental.
I take a diet pill prescribed to me by a doc. Am I a coward? Am I taking the easy way out?

Maybe I am. But guess what? IDGAF. Not everyone has the same mentality as you.

So people, please stop passing judgment on this person, and just support. Who cares how people lose weight? As long as they do it?

Also, WLS is anything BUT easy.

LauraDotts

I don't consider WLS cheating or easy. It's not. I also understand the difficulty of losing weight with PCOS, insulin resistance, and diabetes. I also know that the struggle with weight often times has nothing to do with will-power.

I have PCOS. I'm also a Type 2 diabetic. If my only option for weight loss was bariatric surgery, I would choose to die fat. Yes, I have that strong an opinion of it.

I've known two people who have died from it. I know of another who was unable to stop losing weight and was slowly starving to death. She was begging to be approved for a reversal that may or may not have worked. I don't know what the outcome of her situation is. I know of others who had severe complications.

I believe that the medical community is irresponsible for the number of bariatric surgeries they recommend. This is an extremely dangerous procedure with no guarantee of long term success with a huge potential of serious medical consequences that can last a lifetime and potentially fatal results.

vegasjamie

Who cares what other people think. My favorite line is ..."i'm doing it the right way" well riddle me this...why are you still overweight after "doing it the right way" for how long? Hows that working out for you? dont tell me after 20 years of being obese you just decided it was now time to start a diet. It's a bunch of BS. It's a different journey for everyone. If you don't keep the weight off, you only have yourself to blame. The people that seem to bash it always fall into the same categories, thin people who never had a weight problem or health issue, overweight people who have delusions of losing weight on their own (i called these people the resolutionists...they clog up the gym every year from january to april) and people who know someone's cousin who had a friend who had a bad surgery...

^^^^This

meadow_sage

Its the cowards way out
when we are out here working our *kitten* off cuz we gotta lose weight- the real way

Two of my most inspiring MFP friends had weight loss surgery. I did not. They have both lost about the same amount of weight as I have.

The ONLY difference between us is that they had the surgery and I didn't. All three of us log food religiously. All three of us workout all the time. All three of us have made lifelong changes in our approach to food and fitness. All three of us have to approach every challenge with willpower and hard work. All three of us are at risk of regaining weight if we fail to retain our new habits - in fact, studies show that of the three of us, I am the most likely to fail.

We all lost weight "the real way." We all worked our *kitten* off.

This is a great response. I'd rather do it your way though because surgery is dangerous and you don't have to live with all the stuff that comes with the surgery.

Symphony2010

I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.

kamakazeekim

Just to add a little more information to my original post...

I had 2 VERY complicated pregnancies that forced me to be on bed rest throughout most of them and then being deathly sick after delivery thus forcing me to be inactive for another several months. I have had 4 abdominal surgeries where I have been cut from the bellybutton down totally wrecking my abdominal muscles which will eventually have to be surgically repaired. In the past 4...almost 5 years I have spent a combined total of 20 months confined to bed. It SUCKS!!! Try not gaining weight when you cant move.

I LOVE playing sports, weightlifting, swimming, walking, doing mud runs, taking Zumba 3 times a week...I am VERY active. I generally eat between 1200 and 1800 calories a day...obviously there are times such as holidays or the occasional vacation where you eat crappy and drink alcohol.

The doctor explained to me that the WLS will change the way my body uses sugars and starches. We tried metformin and not only did it not work it made me insanely sick...I had a hard time keeping any food down....(birth control does that to me too)

I am obsessive about things...today I counted out every single peanut I ate for breakfast (30.) I'm at little to no risk of being the person who continues to eat a ton and be lazy, using the surgery as a crutch.

My body needs a jump start and a way to block insulin. That's why it was recommended.

rosemaryhon

PCOS makes it more difficult for the body to use the hormone insulin, which normally helps convert sugars and starches from foods into energy. This condition -- called insulin resistance -- can cause insulin and sugar -- glucose -- to build up in the bloodstream.
http://women.webmd.com/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-and-weight-gain

So, sincere question ~ how does WLS help with this ^^? As another poster wondered, eat less thru willpower or eat less due to smaller stomach ~ is that what the bottom-line is?

theCarlton

I have PCOS (and hypothyroidism) and had a harder time losing weight. But I knew my weight wasn't BECAUSE of these issues; it was because I sat around all day and ate constantly and poorly. So when I woke up and admitted these fatcs to myself, I stopped being a punk and started eating less and exercising more (just 40 minutes a day for 5 days a week - walking 3.5 MPH). I began to slowly lose weight. I was then prescribed Phentermine by my endocrinologist. That helped a lot. I lost weight like the average human being who is trying to lose weight would. After a couple of months on it, I lost enough weight that losing weight after that without the pills no longer was difficult. I feel like a normal person now. It's been 5 years. I never gained my weight back after Phentermine because I acknowledged that the issue wasn't my metabolism or health issues, it was my habits and lifestyle.

I know someone who's had gastric bypass... she lost a lot of weight (like 100lb) but now her eating needs and habits rule her entire day. I'm not exaggerating. Getting a meal down takes around an hour because the stomach can't handle everything all at once anymore. It just sits in her esophagus. She vomits sometimes if she doesn't eat slowly enough. Yet, somehow she is still quite overweight. So - even though you didn't ask, my advice is to get your head right before you do anything. Good luck.

lilRicki

To anyone saying they are against WLS... Get off your high horse. Who cares what other people do to lose weight? I am doing it by diet and exercise, but if I could afford WLS I would do it. Stop being so judgmental.
I take a diet pill prescribed to me by a doc. Am I a coward? Am I taking the easy way out?

Maybe I am. But guess what? IDGAF. Not everyone has the same mentality as you.

So people, please stop passing judgment on this person, and just support. Who cares how people lose weight? As long as they do it?

Also, WLS is anything BUT easy.


The OP asked for opinions, so we're giving them to her...I'm not on a high horse, I could give a crap what she does with her body.