Getting fed up with bad forum etiquette
vstraughan
Posts: 163 Member
in Chit-Chat
First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.
Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.
Here's the MFP guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
Here's what I believe should be considered good social network/forum etiquette
1) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's an opinion, not a statement of fact, so it can't be wrong. No-one has the right to lambast someone for their opinion. Debate it, discuss it, disagree ... sure. Berate? No!
2) Before you quote someone else's comment, read it once, read it twice. Don't assume what other people are thinking or what they are implying. If it's not clear, check or at least bear it in mind in your post.
3) Respect that not everyone is at the same education level or life/fitness/health experience point as you. Some will be smarter, more aware. That's ok, respect it. Some will be less so, less aware. That's ok, respect it.
4) Everyone likes a joke. Every joke in the entire world is at someone or something's expense. Some people use humour as a way of lightening the mood, some people just flatly enjoy humour more than serious debate. However, if you can't take a joke, then social networks are not for you.
5) Understand opinion vs. fact. There are some things that are undeniable science, there are some things that are suggested to be consistent facts but not yet wholly proven, there are some things that are just what people choose to interpret, choose to believe and form opinions around. This is why forums exist - to learn, to share, to discuss.
6) Get your facts straight. Ensure you have educated yourself on the facts before you start making statements. Opinions - always ok. Statements - before you start questioning people's credibility, understand their credentials. Before you start quoting politics and law - read the motions and the events. Before you discuss technology, become familiar and educated about it first.
No problem to say what your findings are, what your experiences are, but don't tell me or anyone else what is fact if you have nothing to back it up with. If you choose not to get your facts straight, on your head be it, but respect people who are equipped to set you straight.
7) Respect the bravery. It doesn't matter how you feel, what you would do or what confidence level you have. People will often start topics looking for help, making personal declarations. That takes a lot for many people to do. It shouldn't be a problem to help them get on the right track by filling in knowledge gaps where they might exist, but there will be a lot of people on sites like MFP who have major confidence issues and insecurities.
Before you respond, question if you're responding to help, to share, to understand ... or to do damage.
Maybe I'm just drawn to the wrong subject headers for my own state of mind, but I'm going to give these forums another week before I isolate myself to the trackers. Just a week to see if it's just the phase of the moon or some such twaddle that's making a lot of pig ugly threads come to the surface.
Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.
Here's the MFP guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
Here's what I believe should be considered good social network/forum etiquette
1) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's an opinion, not a statement of fact, so it can't be wrong. No-one has the right to lambast someone for their opinion. Debate it, discuss it, disagree ... sure. Berate? No!
2) Before you quote someone else's comment, read it once, read it twice. Don't assume what other people are thinking or what they are implying. If it's not clear, check or at least bear it in mind in your post.
3) Respect that not everyone is at the same education level or life/fitness/health experience point as you. Some will be smarter, more aware. That's ok, respect it. Some will be less so, less aware. That's ok, respect it.
4) Everyone likes a joke. Every joke in the entire world is at someone or something's expense. Some people use humour as a way of lightening the mood, some people just flatly enjoy humour more than serious debate. However, if you can't take a joke, then social networks are not for you.
5) Understand opinion vs. fact. There are some things that are undeniable science, there are some things that are suggested to be consistent facts but not yet wholly proven, there are some things that are just what people choose to interpret, choose to believe and form opinions around. This is why forums exist - to learn, to share, to discuss.
6) Get your facts straight. Ensure you have educated yourself on the facts before you start making statements. Opinions - always ok. Statements - before you start questioning people's credibility, understand their credentials. Before you start quoting politics and law - read the motions and the events. Before you discuss technology, become familiar and educated about it first.
No problem to say what your findings are, what your experiences are, but don't tell me or anyone else what is fact if you have nothing to back it up with. If you choose not to get your facts straight, on your head be it, but respect people who are equipped to set you straight.
7) Respect the bravery. It doesn't matter how you feel, what you would do or what confidence level you have. People will often start topics looking for help, making personal declarations. That takes a lot for many people to do. It shouldn't be a problem to help them get on the right track by filling in knowledge gaps where they might exist, but there will be a lot of people on sites like MFP who have major confidence issues and insecurities.
Before you respond, question if you're responding to help, to share, to understand ... or to do damage.
Maybe I'm just drawn to the wrong subject headers for my own state of mind, but I'm going to give these forums another week before I isolate myself to the trackers. Just a week to see if it's just the phase of the moon or some such twaddle that's making a lot of pig ugly threads come to the surface.
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Replies
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was going to comment but don't want to get told off.
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I agree with much of what you said...will it change anyone's behavior?
probably not.0 -
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8). Stop giving a **** what people on the internet say.0
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I agree with much of what you said...will it change anyone's behavior?
probably not.
^ This.
Unfortunately, you've just opened up a can of worms in doing this. You aren't the first person to post about this nor will you be the last, it doesn't change anything.0 -
was going to comment but don't want to get told off.
hahaha... I agree!0 -
Here for the berating.0
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Cry me a river....0 -
This is going to go well. READY>>>SET>>>GO!0
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I have been here since 2010 (this is my third accnt). My opinion: you cannot force others to behave the way you want them to on a public forum. You can only control your own behavior and reactions. If you feel that someone or some topic is against the guidelines or violates the rules, report it. Then move on.0
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I'm a big fan of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Literally. Some posts on here are just too stupid to respond to. So I don't. A lot of other people don't have that willpower.0
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Here for the berating.
Mine.0 -
YAH to good forum form............sadly I think a lot of people revel in causing a stir. People will be people, and must admit I was quite taken aback by the number of fat egos I found reading community threads.
Seems to me there is an abundance of bullies ( low self esteem and a tactic to make themselves feel better, often seen berating success stories, or making ridiculously rude comments) , know it all's ( I'm guessing they only come on to brag about how "knowledgeable" they are and how wrong everyone else is, but I suspect the reason they spend some much time advising others is because they haven't got a life outside of this, nor any friends left to listen to them), the educators ( few and far between, they probably are out there getting fit), the newbies ( wanting some genuine advise) and I'm guessing trolls from some of the threads I've read. But hey that's just my opinion!
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I'm a big fan of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Literally. Some posts on here are just too stupid to respond to. So I don't. A lot of other people don't have that willpower.
i sometimes dont have that willpower....0 -
MFP is crazzzy town! Don't waste your time and energy on the negative side, find the crazzzy that's right for you! Seriously this is a public forum you can't expect much more here. I've seen your post a 1000 times and will see it a 1000 more I'm sure.0
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if i lost 1 lb for everytime i heard that0
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if i lost 1 lb for everytime i heard that
I'm guessing most of us would cease to exist! :P0 -
The forums really turned to crap. When I first signed up 5 years ago everyone was supportive and friendly. I wish this site didnt become so popular because it just attracted a bunch of rude, know it alls.0
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The forums really turned to crap. When I first signed up 5 years ago everyone was supportive and friendly. I wish this site didnt become so popular because it just attracted a bunch of rude, know it alls.
wow ! i wish i had found this site back then.I would be a fitness model by now:grumble:0 -
Some of the comments that I come across make me want to literally jump through the screen and smash certain people up :laugh:
However, I just remind myself that I don't have to deal with or speak to these people and simply move along :drinker:0 -
I haven't been on MFP for long but I see these posts all the time, I didn't know there were mean people before the internet.:laugh:0
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Stick around, it will change.
We are still riding the wave of people who joined to fulfill a New Year's Resolution and haven't given up yet, and some of the people who joined in April or May have just finally heard about it from their friend who lost 10-20 pounds between January and April.
A lot of people will get more serious about MFP through the summer and drop out by Fall. Then you'll see a subtle change in the forums.0 -
I hope I'm not getting jaded, but the forums seem much nicer to me the last couple of months. Of course, it's possible I'm missing the drama because it gets deleted while I'm at work.0
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OP I'm thinking you should just stop checking this thread because the responses you're going to get aren't going to make you feel any better about things.0
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network/forum etiquette??? To each their own.....opinions are like brains,,,,, they are not all right .... If someone makes a total fool of themselves and are down right mean on here you can't make them change, just think how they must be in their day to day lives and be thankful they are not in yours.0
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I agree with you, but there will always be douche bags in the world.0
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Here for the berating.
^^ This0 -
It's a good idea...but unfortunately there will always be trolls...there will always be people that want that reaction from someone and will poke the sleeping grizzly to get it...there will also be individuals who stick to their opinions, however misinformed...and people who will be impolite about expressing their views to others.
Strive to take the high ground and don't get your feathers ruffled when others don't do the same.0
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