Getting fed up with bad forum etiquette

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  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I agree with much of what you said...will it change anyone's behavior?

    probably not.

    I was pretty much going to type exactly this. It sucks that there are jerks (I can be one sometimes too), but for the most part the larger portion of people here are very supportive. Don't let the forums deter you from using this site to better your situation in life.
  • eamartin
    eamartin Posts: 216 Member
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    With the topic you just posted you are going to get a 50/50 reaction, half will support and encourage and the other half don't care about your opinions and want to make jokes. Honestly you invited it by writing this post especially since this has been posted numerous numerous times and people get agitated seeing the same stuff over and over and they also feel dictated too which invites hostility right to your door, so don't get discouraged by the replys you get, this topic shouldn't count in your final decision because you unknowlingly invited it. My rules for navigating the forums are very very simple, stick to the topics you like, listen to the advice you want and IGNORE the rest. There is nothing you can do about it and by being bothered by it you make yourself and easy mark. It's like a raging river, go with the flow and you'll have a nice ride swim against it and you are gonna get tired real quick.

    ^^ this
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Your opinion on proper forum behavior means absolutely nothing because your opinion means absolutely nothing.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Long post is long

    You're certainly entitled to your own opinion, and if you think this forum is ill-mannered I can see how that would be frustrating. However I would like to point out something that, to me at least, is a warning sign.

    It looks like you haven't even been a member for a full month yet. If after a month you're already 'fed up', how can you expect to overcome all the difficulties with getting in shape and being healthy? Those things aren't easy either, and the world is full to the brim with people who'll tell you this and this miracle cure will help you drop 200 lbs and pick up Adriana Lima as a concubine in 37 seconds, or people who are bitter that they couldn't get in shape and will try to cut you down and tell you how you can't succeed.

    If I were you, I'd think long and hard about just what is worth getting up in arms about, and what you should just rise above and ignore.

    Good luck to you, either way.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    tl;dr


    This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
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    Well, I guess she told us!

    I actually have found that if someone is outright nasty, the other posters come to the aid of the first. The exception is when an original question or subsequent comment are clearly there to incite. #trolls

    May I suggest that the OP of this thread feel free to hang out at recipe swap?
  • ysienkiewicz
    ysienkiewicz Posts: 86 Member
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    First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.

    Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.

    Here's the MFP guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

    Here's what I believe should be considered good social network/forum etiquette

    1) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's an opinion, not a statement of fact, so it can't be wrong. No-one has the right to lambast someone for their opinion. Debate it, discuss it, disagree ... sure. Berate? No!

    2) Before you quote someone else's comment, read it once, read it twice. Don't assume what other people are thinking or what they are implying. If it's not clear, check or at least bear it in mind in your post.

    3) Respect that not everyone is at the same education level or life/fitness/health experience point as you. Some will be smarter, more aware. That's ok, respect it. Some will be less so, less aware. That's ok, respect it.

    4) Everyone likes a joke. Every joke in the entire world is at someone or something's expense. Some people use humour as a way of lightening the mood, some people just flatly enjoy humour more than serious debate. However, if you can't take a joke, then social networks are not for you.

    5) Understand opinion vs. fact. There are some things that are undeniable science, there are some things that are suggested to be consistent facts but not yet wholly proven, there are some things that are just what people choose to interpret, choose to believe and form opinions around. This is why forums exist - to learn, to share, to discuss.

    6) Get your facts straight. Ensure you have educated yourself on the facts before you start making statements. Opinions - always ok. Statements - before you start questioning people's credibility, understand their credentials. Before you start quoting politics and law - read the motions and the events. Before you discuss technology, become familiar and educated about it first.

    No problem to say what your findings are, what your experiences are, but don't tell me or anyone else what is fact if you have nothing to back it up with. If you choose not to get your facts straight, on your head be it, but respect people who are equipped to set you straight.

    7) Respect the bravery. It doesn't matter how you feel, what you would do or what confidence level you have. People will often start topics looking for help, making personal declarations. That takes a lot for many people to do. It shouldn't be a problem to help them get on the right track by filling in knowledge gaps where they might exist, but there will be a lot of people on sites like MFP who have major confidence issues and insecurities.

    Before you respond, question if you're responding to help, to share, to understand ... or to do damage.

    Maybe I'm just drawn to the wrong subject headers for my own state of mind, but I'm going to give these forums another week before I isolate myself to the trackers. Just a week to see if it's just the phase of the moon or some such twaddle that's making a lot of pig ugly threads come to the surface.

    Very Well said!!!
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I came in here prepared for another 'People are being mean!' post.

    I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing I would add is this:

    8) Don't take any of this too personally. If someone made a joke at your expense it's not the end of the world. Brush it off and go about your business with dignity. Everybody here with over 200 posts (some maybe less) has had a joke made at their expense. The truth is their still breathing and still moving closer to their goals.

    9) DON'T BE TOO PROUD TO ADMIT WHEN YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE- I see so many people caught up and being 'right' on the forums that they absolutely REFUSE to learn anything. I type before I think, I misinterpret data, I make jokes that are offensive, and sometimes I cross the lines. But at the end of the day I learn things on these boards because I work at staying humble.
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
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    lol. it's the internet.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    worry about you
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    tl;dr


    This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies

    Agreed this forum is very tame compared to other forums
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    if u put as much time into exercising as u do w orrying about what others are doing you should be doing great
  • Jimaudit
    Jimaudit Posts: 275
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    Why does everyone want to sit around and hold hands? Not reality so why get worked up about it?

    You joined the end of April and have posted 150+ times already--obsess much? Did you just come off a Facebook addiction and thought you would turn it into a MFP one?

    Jeez--it's the F-ing internet--can't you folks figure that out and stop trying to make everyone nice.
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I stopped reading after the first point. I got fed up with the self righteousness.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    tl;dr


    This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies

    Same, people on these forums have helped me so much, I think the only people that get offended just want to be told they have to eat lettuce and starve and get mad when people mention ice cream and beer! Excuse me while I go lose 1-2lbs this week while having ice cream and beer!
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    tl;dr


    This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies

    Same, people on these forums have helped me so much, I think the only people that get offended just want to be told they have to eat lettuce and starve and get mad when people mention ice cream and beer! Excuse me while I go lose 1-2lbs this week while having ice cream and beer!

    No one asked the Canadian...
  • ShaniWulffe
    ShaniWulffe Posts: 458 Member
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    Here's the problem: it's usually not the people who know what they're talking about who are being jerks. It's those who just want validation for their opinions. Here, take an example:

    Person A: omg duz ne1 no nething abt the cabbage soup diet/shakeology/whatever i wanna do it but im scared its dangerous
    Person B: Basically, if it's not a sustainable life choice, it's not worth it. Science proves that healthy eating/caloric deficit/whatever is a much better idea.
    Person A:P OMG U R SO MEAN. wut r u calling me an idiot???
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
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    tl;dr


    This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies

    tumblr_lx7kj36jZD1qjnlpf_zps23b8d884.gif
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I'm always intrigued by message board complaints about rudeness. Invariably, the rude people prove the OP point. It's not "the Internet", which of course is not a place but just a conduit, it's the anonymity. Same principle that applies to people flipping you off on the highway at 70 mph who are less inclined to do so at a stop light.

    Imagine if instead of posting on a board we were all sitting around in a room talking. It would go way differently.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    Yup, there will always be bullies and pack mentality....just is. Have I been at the receiving end of the hurt? oh yes. :ohwell: Personally I just try and stay the eff out of the forums when I'm too blue to handle it...should it be that way? who knows, but there will always be people who push their own thoughts and opinions on others, and there will always be people who enjoy kicking people when they are down.

    Have I done it? prolly, wish I could say no, but I'm sure I've made a joke at someone's expense.

    But OP, your post was nicely thought out and well worded, so props. :flowerforyou:

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