Getting fed up with bad forum etiquette

124

Replies

  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    I came in here prepared for another 'People are being mean!' post.

    I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing I would add is this:

    8) Don't take any of this too personally. If someone made a joke at your expense it's not the end of the world. Brush it off and go about your business with dignity. Everybody here with over 200 posts (some maybe less) has had a joke made at their expense. The truth is their still breathing and still moving closer to their goals.

    9) DON'T BE TOO PROUD TO ADMIT WHEN YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE- I see so many people caught up and being 'right' on the forums that they absolutely REFUSE to learn anything. I type before I think, I misinterpret data, I make jokes that are offensive, and sometimes I cross the lines. But at the end of the day I learn things on these boards because I work at staying humble.

    Hey you everybody else, you're doing real good and I'mma let you finish, but PlayerHatinDoGooder had the best response of all time. All time!

    tumblr_mn1agvniiu1qha8lao1_500.gif

    BWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHA
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    Does MFP have a internet entry in daily food


    seems with all the grains of salt people are taking here this would be ideal to track...
  • Lynds7128
    Lynds7128 Posts: 132
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  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I agree with much of what you said...will it change anyone's behavior?

    probably not.

    I was pretty much going to type exactly this. It sucks that there are jerks (I can be one sometimes too), but for the most part the larger portion of people here are very supportive. Don't let the forums deter you from using this site to better your situation in life.

    I thought you liked me Mary Beth!
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

    I have been told that most people are really decent in real life but they like to be nasty on line.
    I think that's BS.
    If a person is decent in real life then they will be the same on line and vice versa.

    There is a roving band of Internet bullies who feed off of each other, same as on the playground.
    I was naively hoping they would wear out their welcome but apparently they are a tenacious breed and the moderators don't see them as a problem.

    Do what others have said.
    Carefully choose your forum topics, ignore the rude, annoying posters and report the abusive ones.

    Get a great friend list of like-minded people and get your main support from them.
    Stay off of chit chat, especially at night.

    I feel your frustration.
    Sadly the posts by well meaning, intelligent members are far outnumbered by the ignorant egomaniacs.

    There are some great people on here with helpful advice/information.
    You will learn who to take seriously and who to ignore.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    When in the history of the world has it been well-received to come into an established community and right off the bat say "I think that the way this community (that I'm not really familiar with and don't understand) functions is all wrong"?
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    When in the history of the world has it been well-received to come into an established community and right off the bat say "I think that the way this community (that I'm not really familiar with and don't understand) functions is all wrong"?

    I think the US has tried this recently...
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    I came in here prepared for another 'People are being mean!' post.

    I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing I would add is this:

    8) Don't take any of this too personally. If someone made a joke at your expense it's not the end of the world. Brush it off and go about your business with dignity. Everybody here with over 200 posts (some maybe less) has had a joke made at their expense. The truth is their still breathing and still moving closer to their goals.

    9) DON'T BE TOO PROUD TO ADMIT WHEN YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE- I see so many people caught up and being 'right' on the forums that they absolutely REFUSE to learn anything. I type before I think, I misinterpret data, I make jokes that are offensive, and sometimes I cross the lines. But at the end of the day I learn things on these boards because I work at staying humble.

    ^^^^^This.
    :drinker:
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member

    I have been told that most people are really decent in real life but they like to be nasty on line.
    I think that's BS.
    If a person is decent in real life then they will be the same on line and vice versa.

    Nasty people will be nasty, whether on the net or in real life. It's how we deal with them that matters.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    In for gifs
    tumblr_m7oro4iMzW1qiomupo1_500.gif
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    When in the history of the world has it been well-received to come into an established community and right off the bat say "I think that the way this community (that I'm not really familiar with and don't understand) functions is all wrong"?
    chest-bump.gif
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    When in the history of the world has it been well-received to come into an established community and right off the bat say "I think that the way this community (that I'm not really familiar with and don't understand) functions is all wrong"?

    I think the US has tried this recently...

    Yes, but he said "well-received".
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    well the option is to stay out of the forums and stick with your friends. Besides the recipe selection most advice is questionable.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    My favorite forum etiquette rule: keep it brief as no one wants to read a wall of text or a book
  • BigDnSW
    BigDnSW Posts: 641 Member
    MFP is crazzzy town! Don't waste your time and energy on the negative side, find the crazzzy that's right for you! Seriously this is a public forum you can't expect much more here. I've seen your post a 1000 times and will see it a 1000 more I'm sure.

    Totally agree with wickedlifter...find some really cool peeps and leave the forums for those who like to pontificate, argue, feed their egos rather than their souls...however, there are some great finds on the forums. Like wickedlifter :)
  • Surfrider
    Surfrider Posts: 364 Member
    My favorite forum etiquette rule: keep it brief as no one wants to read a wall of text or a book

    This.

    Also.. welcome to the internet.
  • :laugh: This is so amusing ! Okay.. so I guess I will not see you around anymore OP.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    What I've personally found on the internet is that there will ALWAYS be people who enjoy pissing people off. It's their kick. Might be the one bright spot in their day.
    I look at it as "how does this affect my daily life and my families?" Almost none of it does so I don't let any bad etiquette get under my skin.
    There are lots of great people to listen to on here when you need advice. Personally I like to use sarcasm and jokes on many answers on threads, however I'm rarely mean or berating.

    If worst comes to worst, there is always the IGNORE button for that person.

    Don't take the internet personally.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    8). Stop giving a **** what people on the internet say.

    +1
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  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    but....but...that is how you will find awesome friends!!!
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Use the search function
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    How ironic.

    Your first comment is the only one that counts really. Everyone has an opinion and everyone is entitled to it. Your opinion of what you would like the forums to be is duely noted. But everyone is here for different reasons and none are better or worse than others. You have all the choice in the world where you spend your time or where you put your energy. Choose wisely.

    Beyond that, good luck with your issues.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    In for the gifs.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.

    Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.

    ...
    You do know that forum etiquette dictates performing a search before posting a new topic, right? I know MFP isn't set up well to support that, but it's a pretty basic tenet of any online forum.

    I'm not saying this to call you out. I'm not denying your right to start whatever post you want. I'm saying this because had you done a search before posting, you might have seen how posts like these turn out.

    Some forums do well moderating themselves. MFP has a tough job monitoring everything because it's gotten huge. I can only imagine the horror of having to deal with thread reporting on a regular basis.

    We're all pretty harmless. Every one of us on MFP. You know why? Because we're just typing words. I won't get into a debate on the power of words (and won't discount hurt feelings because of it), but I'm always disappointed by threads like these that are coated as supportive, but generally read as judgmental or complaining. I think the focus is on the wrong side. Why not spend the same amount of time and energy you did composing your original post, and create a thread talking about being strong in the face of criticism, not taking things personally, seeking healthy support from caring friends, finding ways to feel confident about yourself, achieving your goals, etc.?

    It seems like a thread on any of those ideas would be a lot more helpful for people who have been hurt by mean/rude/inconsiderate words on the forum. That is, assuming the motivations behind your post was to help others.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.

    Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.

    ...
    You do know that forum etiquette dictates performing a search before posting a new topic, right? I know MFP isn't set up well to support that, but it's a pretty basic tenet of any online forum.

    I'm not saying this to call you out. I'm not denying your right to start whatever post you want. I'm saying this because had you done a search before posting, you might have seen how posts like these turn out.

    Some forums do well moderating themselves. MFP has a tough job monitoring everything because it's gotten huge. I can only imagine the horror of having to deal with thread reporting on a regular basis.

    We're all pretty harmless. Every one of us on MFP. You know why? Because we're just typing words. I won't get into a debate on the power of words (and won't discount hurt feelings because of it), but I'm always disappointed by threads like these that are coated as supportive, but generally read as judgmental or complaining. I think the focus is on the wrong side. Why not spend the same amount of time and energy you did composing your original post, and create a thread talking about being strong in the face of criticism, not taking things personally, seeking healthy support from caring friends, finding ways to feel confident about yourself, achieving your goals, etc.?

    It seems like a thread on any of those ideas would be a lot more helpful for people who have been hurt by mean/rude/inconsiderate words on the forum. That is, assuming the motivations behind your post was to help others.
    37529-Clapping-gif-WCwy.gif
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.

    Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.

    ...
    You do know that forum etiquette dictates performing a search before posting a new topic, right? I know MFP isn't set up well to support that, but it's a pretty basic tenet of any online forum.

    I'm not saying this to call you out. I'm not denying your right to start whatever post you want. I'm saying this because had you done a search before posting, you might have seen how posts like these turn out.

    Some forums do well moderating themselves. MFP has a tough job monitoring everything because it's gotten huge. I can only imagine the horror of having to deal with thread reporting on a regular basis.

    We're all pretty harmless. Every one of us on MFP. You know why? Because we're just typing words. I won't get into a debate on the power of words (and won't discount hurt feelings because of it), but I'm always disappointed by threads like these that are coated as supportive, but generally read as judgmental or complaining. I think the focus is on the wrong side. Why not spend the same amount of time and energy you did composing your original post, and create a thread talking about being strong in the face of criticism, not taking things personally, seeking healthy support from caring friends, finding ways to feel confident about yourself, achieving your goals, etc.?

    It seems like a thread on any of those ideas would be a lot more helpful for people who have been hurt by mean/rude/inconsiderate words on the forum. That is, assuming the motivations behind your post was to help others.

    Have I told you lately that I love you?
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member


    1) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's an opinion, not a statement of fact, so it can't be wrong. No-one has the right to lambast someone for their opinion. Debate it, discuss it, disagree ... sure. Berate? No!



    A lot of people who choose to go the fad diet route seem to believe that if you disagree with their choice and don't "support" them, that you're bullying them.
    So in those cases, don't expect much to change. People WILL tell you your opinion is wrong.

    In fact don't expect much of anything to change. This is the internet. :smile:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    if i lost 1 lb for everytime i heard that

    I'm guessing most of us would cease to exist! :P

    LOL
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Here's the problem: it's usually not the people who know what they're talking about who are being jerks. It's those who just want validation for their opinions. Here, take an example:

    Person A: omg duz ne1 no nething abt the cabbage soup diet/shakeology/whatever i wanna do it but im scared its dangerous
    Person B: Basically, if it's not a sustainable life choice, it's not worth it. Science proves that healthy eating/caloric deficit/whatever is a much better idea.
    Person A:P OMG U R SO MEAN. wut r u calling me an idiot???

    Exactly. I see far more hostility from people who post their "opinion" and then get told they're doing it wrong.