How can I want it so badly, But never follow through?

rotill

You have had some great advice (I particularly think the one about structure is good and important), so I'll just add my own motivations to the mix.

It seems like you know what you need to do, and you are doing it. It just takes a bit longer than it felt like it did coming on. Remember, you didn't gain weight over night, it took six years!

As for what worked for me? I did the maths. At one point I realised that I had been gaining one to two kilo a year for the last 15 years That put me at 20+ kilo overweight. If I didn't at least stop that progress, in another 15 years I'd be 40 + kilo overweight. I already had back problems and a bad knee. I was projecting into the future, seeing myself as an obese, handicapped woman in a wheelchair when it was time for retirement.

Now, do the same for yourself. You have gained 50 pounds, that's about 20 kilos over 6 years. in 12 years you'll have gained 40, and be 60 kilos overweight - that's a whole second you. You are very young, and by the time you're half-way into your thirties, you'll be crushed under your own weight, and unable to do anything at all.

The least you should do is stop this. However, you have already managed to turn it around! So, do some opposite projections. You don't tell us how long it took to lose those 20 pounds, but let's say 6 months. In another 6 months you'll be only 10 pounds away from having lost all the weight it took 6 years to gain. Then it may take you 6 months to lose the last, but you'll be stronger, fitter and smarter by that time! You'll know how to regulate your weight, and how to stay fit, and you'll know what to do if it starts creeping back on. The future, helpless, obese you is all gone, due to your own hard work!

I know what I'd pick. Good luck!