I need your opinion on how to respond to a text...

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  • saviarre
    saviarre Posts: 26 Member
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    My biggest reaction to this is not that she blew you off to go golfing. My biggest WTH moment with this was that she never approaches you at the gym.... she waits for you to approach her...

    This strikes me as someone who wants to be the center of attention... someone who is using you to make her feel better about herself... When you approach her, it makes her feel desirable. If she were to approach you, it would feel less like you were chasing her, and therefore isn't something she wants.

    Personally, my advice is to stop approaching. If she really is into the friendship for the friendship that it should be, there should be mutual approaching...

    In regards to the text, I'd respond with something along the lines of "Upset or not, you can still come say hi."
  • thenewlg
    thenewlg Posts: 11
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    So the woman you want to cheat on her husband with you is cheating on you with her guy friends? Stop. Just stop.

    You clearly missed the part where I said that I've never made a move on her and that I have no intention in the world of being involved in an extra-marital affair.

    I don't think it was missed at all, I think she's spot on. You need to STOP. I have never in my life seen a guy over analyze a situation like this. If you are this bent out of shape about her, you are in WAY too deep and need to do just what this poster said, just stop. She's married and that means you need to get her out of your head...stat.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    say that you were insulted because after telling you she was so busy with chores and couldn't find any time to hang out, she went out and did something else instead.
    she sounds like a rude b!tch and people deserve to have better friends than that.
  • Sactown900
    Sactown900 Posts: 162 Member
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    Uh...you sound jealous. Like, boyfriend jealous. Maybe you don't *intend* to do anything, but I think this is headed down a bad path.

    Great point.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    Sexual tension between you and a married woman is not a healthy relationship.

    Do yourself a favor and just chill with people that don't upset you. Too many fish in the sea for friendships and romantic relationships to being getting miffed over this nonsense.
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
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    You clearly missed the part where I said that I've never made a move on her and that I have no intention in the world of being involved in an extra-marital affair.
    Nobody intends on being involved in an extra-marital affair.
  • jfrankic
    jfrankic Posts: 747 Member
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    So I have a friend that I always get into fights and arguments with. She always turns it around and makes me out to be the bad guy/ a-hole. I think we fight so much because there's some sexual tension between us. She's married and of course doesn't want to cheat on her husband. And I have no wish to have or be apart of an extra-marital affair. I have never made a move on her, etc.

    Anyway, we will occasionally hang out or go out to dinner together for our cheat meal. Lately we haven't been hanging out a lot, even though I've made time for her and tried to get her to get out of the house to have some fun.
    So last weekend I had the weekend off and she had Sunday off. I texted her on Saturday seeing if she wanted to hang out, go shooting, or do something else fun. She said she would be too busy doing things around the house and running errands. Ok, no biggie, we're all busy with day to day chores.

    So, y'all are dating, just not having sex? Sorry, I should've stated this way.... So, y'all are dating, just not having sex.

    (note the change in punctuation? subtle, but it's there.)
  • onedayatatime410
    onedayatatime410 Posts: 42 Member
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    This woman is not your wife or SO. You are friends. It's not that serious and it makes no sense that you feel this way unless you have feelings for her that really aren't warranted. Shouldn't be building that close of a relationship with a married woman anyway. There are plenty of women that are single in this world that would love your company, bro.

    That's just my opinion.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    She is married, end of story. She should not be having dinners with you unless her husband is aware and joining you both. You sound like you have more invested than you want to admit, regardless of what your "said intentions are". Saying hi at the gym is one thing, dating another man's wife....not okay, dude...
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
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    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.
  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    She is married.. sure people have friends of the opposite sex, but it sounds like you talk to and see her a lot more than the average friend of the opposite sex. And then she goes hanging out with OTHER guys besides her husband? Something doesn't sound right here.
  • jeleclekat
    jeleclekat Posts: 124 Member
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    How old are you both? Sounds more like teenagers than adults. She's married and not to you. And if she is hanging around all these other male friends, she doesn't sound too serious about her marriage. Best bet - leave.....
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.

    OMG - THIS!! lol
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Omg! Are you a teenage girl or what? So much drama for nothing. She has a life and doesn't have to include you in anything if she doesn't want to.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Um, she probably knew you'd cry about her having other plans and not including you - so she lied.

    Take that for what it is -- somebody telling you that you're being too clingy/needy. If you just didn't like that she lied, I don't see why you wouldn't just tell her the truth. But methinks you know you sound -- jealous, possessive and kind of sad.
  • mumb3th
    mumb3th Posts: 36
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    this is a married women. she is not available for a "relationship". you need to look else where for a better class of person. say hello at the gym, be nice. but leave it at the gym.

    Yup. This!
  • daisymae850
    daisymae850 Posts: 127 Member
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    "Nothing is wrong, I'm busy with chores, I mean golfing, I mean chores."


    DEFINITELY THIS!
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    You are 25 years old, she is a married lady (I didn`t read the whole of the thread) I am presuming she is younger than you?

    With the greatest respect I would say move on...this `friendship` is never going to go anywhere.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    what pisses me off is that told me she had chores to do so she can't hang out, and then goes and hangs out and doesn't even include me. Along with that she never texts me first, comes up to me at the gym (it's apparently my job to initiate conversation), etc.

    Alllll right so she's too busy doing chores but has time to do all that?? So I said screw it. I'm going to ignore her all week

    You're secretly a girl?
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.

    This is excellent advice!! LMAO!!

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