I got dumped last night



  • NoFatChick2
    It's not the right time for her. You sound like a really great guy, so don't be too hard on yourself. Your comments about her are so sweet. Keep taking care of yourself. You deserve it!
  • timadotcom
    timadotcom Posts: 674 Member
    There's going to come a time, where you will run into her again in the future and you WILL get to see her reaction after she looks at your awesome transformation! Keep up your hard work!
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    So sorry. I know how you feel!
  • JeffInBuckeyeNation
    JeffInBuckeyeNation Posts: 91 Member
    Thank you, everyone - I needed this. Also, thank you for not attacking her. That's sweet of you all.
  • creech6317
    creech6317 Posts: 869 Member
    If she is feeling smothered and you haven't contacted her since christmas then it sounds like she has a few things to work out within herself. I wouldn't rule out the chances the two of you have, but I would let her have time to work all of her stuff out.

    In the meantime it just gives you more time to get even hotter. And once she is on more of an even keel within herself that will make the two of you in an even better place to decide to start something, or to be really good friends, because from what you wrote, you sound like someone who is a good friend to people.

    Have a great day!
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    I am sorry, break ups are hard for BOTH people. But you know what, just keep focusing on you, and getting to your goals and let the rest fall into place.

    It could be too soon after her divorce. It took me a long time to be ready to be in a relationship after mine and even then I wasn't ready.

  • cmayoung
    cmayoung Posts: 38 Member
    Trust me, after you get past the sadness, you will wake up one day and realize you two were not really right for each other and you will be happy for unanswered prayers. As for now, make a playlist to get you worked up and keep you motivated at the gym. Recommendations....
    Since You've Been Gone - kelly Clarkson
    Stronger - Christina Aguliara
    Not Meant to Be - Theory of a Deadman
    Irreplaceable- Beyonce
    Cry Me a River- Justin Timberlake

    You get the idea. Not songs that will make you sad, but more of the "screw this, I deserve the best" type music! Good Luck!
  • supermumincanada
    supermumincanada Posts: 59 Member
    Hugs to you, it's her loss, just keep doing what your doing, I know it 's easier said than done xo
  • jshashaty
    jshashaty Posts: 33 Member
    She will realize one day that it was the biggest mistake of her life. Remember her loss will eventually be your gain. Having raw feelings is a tough thing to overcome; and I don't want to give you the cliche of time heals all wounds, because it doesn't. One day at a time and healing will come.

    Hang in there and remember her loss....
    If you need me, I'm here---just friend me.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Jeff. You are worth so much more than someone like this. She has a lot in her head and her heart to deal with and at this time she apparently couldnt spare any more space for anything more serious.

    Use the time and the sting to throw yourself into your weight loss and workouts. Giving anyone the power over you to stop you on your path isnt a good thing and I just dont see you doing that. You appear very sincere and level headed.

    I wish you enough......

    "Walk toward the light til you find the sun"

  • filomenae
    filomenae Posts: 110 Member
    I'm so sorry this happened to you :(

    What everyone is saying is true- it's HER LOSS. You're handling this much more graciously than many others would, take pride in that if nothing else.

    This is your journey, keep that in mind! One day you may cross paths again and by then she'll realize the mistake she made.
  • ancia03
    ancia03 Posts: 43
    Jeff hun I will only say one thing : dafuq was she thinking ?
    seriously everyone says it but i must repeat it - her loss
    just wait ! she'll be back and then you can just tell her : too late darling !

    she didn't appreciate you = she didn't know you well enough !
  • Hairista
    Hairista Posts: 86
    Good for you on the weight loss. You look great! :) It is definitely her loss.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    She sounds like she is a bit mixed up. It's probably better for you (healthier) that you go your way and let her figure some things out. And I agree, it is her loss.

    ^this. A divorce can be really hard on people. It sounds like she has some issues to work out, and she's not ready for a real relationship right now. It's unfortunate that it happen, but when you jump into a relationship so soon after leaving someone, then it's more likely to not work out. She needs time for herself, and to figure out what she wants. Keep working on yourself and what you want :)
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    <~~~~~~~ It's Boobie Friday!....sorry, that's all I got to cheer you up. :blushing: Note: I am not exposing myself for vanity or FRs but because I have a friend who is a breast cancer survivor and I do this every Friday. :smile: :embarassed:
  • nickiog
    nickiog Posts: 187 Member
    id say be glad you didn't end up stuck invested more into a person with issues ( not trying to bash her just saying ...)

    use the sting as fuel for your workouts and with what appears to be your genuinely sweet caring personality im willing to bet youll feel better and find better in no time :)
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
    Hey, your physical transformation is awesome according to your picture. Such a great accomplishment and glad you are doing it for yourself.

    Don't carry a torch, but don't lose heart either. Enjoy your life and those around you. You just never know in what direction the winds of fate will blow.
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
    You don't realize it yet, but she did you a HUGE favor by finally freeing up your heart so you can now fully pursue bigger and better things. The time will come when you'll want to send her a Thank You card for allowing you to become all that you can be and find the REAL love of your life. Go ahead, take tonight off and have a Big Pity Party--get it all out of your system--then put it behind you and move on to your better life.
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
    Don't worry, this isn't a self-pity post. Maybe just a little....but not too heavy on it.

    She was the girl I crushed on in high school, and we reconnected last year. We decided to stay away from each other while her divorce was finalizing, and stayed in touch with each other very sparingly. The little time I got to speak with her was always precious, and I thought I was giving her the space she needed.

    But apparently not - despite not seeing her since Christmas, she said she feels smothered. I believe that she is transferring her image of her ex-husband onto me, and perhaps freaking out a bit.....but whatever the case, it's broken my heart.

    And I am not mad at her - I don;t hate her, I don't resent her. I love the woman, so I can't speak ill of her.

    I wasn't losing the weight for her (I was losing it for ME), but she hasn't seen me since I was in the 260's. I was hoping to see her face when she got a look at my 206-pound body. Sadly, that won't happen now.

    Hey, at least I'll keep losing weight - I have no appetite, and feel like running a 10K or two this weekend. (Don't worry, you guys, I will not starve myself)

    But maybe you guys can cheer me up a bit?


    I went through something damned near identical several years ago. It was rough, especially the way he did it, but everything really does happen for a reason. In my case, that relationship was necessary to prepare me for my soulmate. I never would have been open to it otherwise. I've now been incredibly deeply in love and content for more than 3 years, and happily married since May 2011.

    There is someone you are meant to be with. She'll be perfect for you, and you'll be perfect for her. No way of knowing who she is, but you will have to ready, and she will have to be ready (the part that can frustrate some) before she can come into your life. In the meantime, grieve this loss knowing there is something wonderful waiting for you. :flowerforyou:
  • blondie6688
    I'm sorry. I believe it's her loss. I wasn't ready when my ex and I broke up after many yrs together. It sounds like she is "finding" herself. I'm sorry that you got hurt in the mean time. Keep up the good work!! Congrats to you on your weightloss!!!!