I got dumped last night

I'm so sorry this happened to you

What everyone is saying is true- it's HER LOSS. You're handling this much more graciously than many others would, take pride in that if nothing else.

This is your journey, keep that in mind! One day you may cross paths again and by then she'll realize the mistake she made.

Good for you on the weight loss. You look great! It is definitely her loss.

<~~~~~~~ It's Boobie Friday!....sorry, that's all I got to cheer you up. :blushing: Note: I am not exposing myself for vanity or FRs but because I have a friend who is a breast cancer survivor and I do this every Friday. :embarassed:

Hey, your physical transformation is awesome according to your picture. Such a great accomplishment and glad you are doing it for yourself.

Don't carry a torch, but don't lose heart either. Enjoy your life and those around you. You just never know in what direction the winds of fate will blow.

Don't worry, this isn't a self-pity post. Maybe just a little....but not too heavy on it.

She was the girl I crushed on in high school, and we reconnected last year. We decided to stay away from each other while her divorce was finalizing, and stayed in touch with each other very sparingly. The little time I got to speak with her was always precious, and I thought I was giving her the space she needed.

But apparently not - despite not seeing her since Christmas, she said she feels smothered. I believe that she is transferring her image of her ex-husband onto me, and perhaps freaking out a bit.....but whatever the case, it's broken my heart.

And I am not mad at her - I don;t hate her, I don't resent her. I love the woman, so I can't speak ill of her.

I wasn't losing the weight for her (I was losing it for ME), but she hasn't seen me since I was in the 260's. I was hoping to see her face when she got a look at my 206-pound body. Sadly, that won't happen now.

Hey, at least I'll keep losing weight - I have no appetite, and feel like running a 10K or two this weekend. (Don't worry, you guys, I will not starve myself)

But maybe you guys can cheer me up a bit?

Jeff

I went through something damned near identical several years ago. It was rough, especially the way he did it, but everything really does happen for a reason. In my case, that relationship was necessary to prepare me for my soulmate. I never would have been open to it otherwise. I've now been incredibly deeply in love and content for more than 3 years, and happily married since May 2011.

There is someone you are meant to be with. She'll be perfect for you, and you'll be perfect for her. No way of knowing who she is, but you will have to ready, and she will have to be ready (the part that can frustrate some) before she can come into your life. In the meantime, grieve this loss knowing there is something wonderful waiting for you. :flowerforyou:

I know it's your broken heart in the end. But guess what? That will heal with time. Everything does happen for a reason. I am 20 years old and I am learning that a young age. If it's meant to be then it will be. If not then still just be her friend. I know that sounds like bad advice.But it will really make you better in the end. If she rejects your friendship then just let her be and pray for her. You WILL HEAL. And you look great. Congrats on your weight loss... I won't talk your ear off.But keep up the good work..And in due time you will reap your benefits! BEST WISHES! MECHELE P.

You sounds like such a great guy, definitely her loss! :flowerforyou: If you do get the opportunity to see her show yourself off, you deserve it!

That just means there is someone even better in your future. Keep your head up. You look great, and like you said, your weight loss is for YOU. Just echoing what everyone else said here, her loss. :flowerforyou:

Keep up the good work and don't stress about the love life... It will all fall into place when you least expect it.

I am sorry She is probably going through mixed emotions with the divorce... and you certainly don't want to be her 'rebound'. Give her some time, keep in touch, and be her friend, and I can almost guarantee she'll come around. My friend just went through this with a recently divorced man. Almost a year later, they are happily together.

I quite agree--if she was just coming off a divorce/bad relationship, she's dealing with the loss. Give her some time and space, but leave the door open (she might want to reconnect).

Oh honey.... your loss (in weight) her loss in reality. seriously, who wants a drama queen?

You are much better off, though you dont see it now!

PS you are a cutie patootie too! =D

I know how you feel, about not doing it for her but wanting her to see...I am definitely doing it for myself, but want to scream it off the rooftops to anyone who will listen whenever I lose lbs. You have much to be proud of, you look fantastic, and I am sure people have taken notice, even if it may not be the specific person you wished would. Keep up the great work, someone will come along who can appreciate everything about you.

Just keep swimming. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! What I will say is, typically, the first relationship after a divorce doesn't work. There are many divorced couples who get into relationships after their divorce as a way of healing or just finding someone to be there for them and take their mind off the loneliness. However, when the other person gets serious they are ready to end things and sprint away. It's better this happened now then after you were even more in love with her.

Congratulations on losing so much weight and getting in shape. I am confident you will find a woman to love you for you and to be there with you through thick and thin. The woman who dumped you may even realize down the line - after dating some really "great" guys (and I do say that sarcastically) that you were the perfect guy for her. When and if she comes running back you can decide if you deserves you or not.

In any event, hang in there. You will get over her and move forward. And I do agree with others that you should somehow make sure she sees your new lean body at some point just so she can see what she missed out on. Her loss is a good woman's gain!

Be blessed!

Hmm..how to cheer you up? I once dated a dude with blue hair. Yep. Blue hair. Smurf blue hair. And sometimes when he'd get angry at wrestling (yes he took that crap seriously) he would turn red and have a blue vein pop out on his forehead..that matched his hair. I hear he is now happily married to a girl with green hair and theyve had some little Jolly Green Giant babies....

Buddy, girls run like buses- you might miss one, but can catch another every hour, on the hour, promptly (words of wisdom brought to you courtesy of Puffy & Ma$e, circa 1998). She probably feels "smothered" because of the divorce and needs to find herself and heal those wounds. I applaud your lack of resentment/anger towards her, because that resentment/anger will only weigh YOU down, it won't affect HER in the slightest. Continue to focus on YOU. You just got more ammunition for the gym, which, for me, is the best therapy (besides getting tattooed, and the gym is a hell of a lot cheaper). If you two were meant to be, it'll be, just not at this exact moment. Hopefully she works on healing herself, because from what you've stated, it sounds like you'll be fine regardless.