Stop calling me too skinny!

Options
2456

Replies

  • MarkAWhipple
    MarkAWhipple Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    I'm reminded of the new guy on the assembly line being told to slow down, as he's making everyone look bad... Same general principle.

    Your coworkers would rather eat cake and nachos, rarely exercise, biyatch about how little time they have to take care of themselves, blah, blah, blah, and you're a reminder that it doesn't have to be that way...

    --P

    And this. Sorry, but many people who call someone "too skinny" are just jealous.
  • Hambone23
    Hambone23 Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    When you start seeing individual ribs, that might be a sign to stop. But from what I see, you're thin and toned more than most. People do get threatened by that. (As someone who still has a lot of weight to lose, I admit that even I still get threatened by it sometimes.) I think it's a case of that old cliche: Misery loves company. It's too bad your significant other isn't supportive because of something lame like the more natural size of your breasts. Instead of trying to lose even more weight, which I do think would make you excessively thin, I agree that you should focus more on toning at this point. The scale will go up, but you'll look fantastic and still thin.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
    Options
    I get it too. I started at 190 (5'11, so overweight but not too much). At that point no one ever said anything about my weight but I wasn't happy about it.

    Now, I'm 145 and worked darn hard to get the 45 pounds off, but now I seem to get told I'm thin, boney, skinny, etc. I'm about 21%-22% body fat, so normal. I think I looked better at 150-155, but at my height 5-10 pounds really shouldn't matter. So after concentrating very hard to get weight off, I'm looking to put a few pounds on and when you've trained your head to "lose weight" adding weight isn't easy. I'm a size 4/6 (first time in my life, btw) and I'm looking to be more a 6/8. For my body, that looks better and is more maintainable.

    Really it's what you are happy with. If you are happy with you, people will just deal. Everyone is used to people being larger than average these days and I think depending on who's telling you you are too thin (are they larger themselves?), it may be jealously.
  • KarmaxKitty
    KarmaxKitty Posts: 901 Member
    Options
    I'm not going to lie. If people around me started to do that, i would seriously consider harassment charges. I had to completely cut off contact with one person because it got so bad. No one should be harrased to eat a cheeseburger just because "we never see you eat anyway". I thought she was going to shove it down my throat...

    YOU know your body. YOU know your goals. If you have seconds thoughts about them AT ALL, then see a nutritionist, or a trainer, or a doctor (although I'm a bit wary of that last one...doctors get weird about weight...). You look AMAZING to me and to a lot of other people on this site. You're doing a great job. Honestly, a lot of that probably comes from jealousy. "Oh, hey, she's looking skinny...that makes me look like a whale." (I have had this feeling before...one of the motivations to lose weight in the first place.)

    Short answer - you look fine, you eat helthy, your weight is healthy, and the people around you have no idea what they're talking about. Getting/Staying small is WORK.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    Options
    I'm reminded of the new guy on the assembly line being told to slow down, as he's making everyone look bad... Same general principle.

    Your coworkers would rather eat cake and nachos, rarely exercise, biyatch about how little time they have to take care of themselves, blah, blah, blah, and you're a reminder that it doesn't have to be that way...

    --P

    And this. Sorry, but many people who call someone "too skinny" are just jealous.

    normally I would agree, but after seeing her picture, I think her problem is that she lacks definition/toning, and considers herself "fat" still, when in fact she's already thin. Of course based on that picture i'd say she's in great shape and doesn't need much toning. :smile:
  • ShrinkingShawna
    ShrinkingShawna Posts: 186 Member
    Options
    I've never liked this double standard. Why do people think it's ok to say "you're too skinny", or "you don't eat enough", but it's not ok to say "you're too fat" or "you eat too much". And the force feeding thing is ridiculous. The BMI chart is sometimes the culprit, and some people don't know the difference between BMI & BF% on the "health" side of things. But mostly, and I'm going out on a limb here based on my experiences when I was skinny, it's overweight people that are trying to do the force feeding. Until I started on this site, no one ever said "you don't eat enough" to me while I was overweight. I find it ironic that they'll post that kind of negative feedback, but don't say anything when I'm having a cheat meal and slam some pizza. I think the skinny comments are more of a jealousy thing than an honest concern. Other than my doctor, not one person I know expressed concern for my health being this large, and I am at extremely high risk for diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and all around putting unneccessary stress on my organs. I would think if people had an honest concern about "health", this double standard wouldn't exist.
  • HeavyLiftGirl
    HeavyLiftGirl Posts: 1,267 Member
    Options
    I have skinny arms and legs, so people automatically think I am a stick. They don't, however, see my stomach area. That is were I gain weight, so before I lost the 19lbs I needed to lose (after having my daughter) I wore bagger tops, and people kept telling me "You look great! You don't need to lose a pound". Ummmm...you haven't seen me with no top on.

    Don't let it get to you!
  • lowry12
    lowry12 Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    oh my cry me a river but look your on the lower side of a healthy weight for ur height any lower and u will be under so ya eating a piece of cake aint gonna hurt you i dont thnk these ppl r being mean or rude or are jealous of what youve done and i mean if your own husband is making comments about it then maybe you do need to move your thoughts away from loosing weight and lift sum weights or something and no im no where remotly close to being jealous and thats why im saying this i have no desire to be "skinny" im not envious of skinny girls or anything but there is a such thing as too skinny and im affraid your headed in that direction
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
    Options
    oh my cry me a river but look your on the lower side of a healthy weight for ur height any lower and u will be under so ya eating a piece of cake aint gonna hurt you i dont thnk these ppl r being mean or rude or are jealous of what youve done and i mean if your own husband is making comments about it then maybe you do need to move your thoughts away from loosing weight and lift sum weights or something and no im no where remotly close to being jealous and thats why im saying this i have no desire to be "skinny" im not envious of skinny girls or anything but there is a such thing as too skinny and im affraid your headed in that direction

    Punctuation is your friend.
  • SherriLibrarian
    SherriLibrarian Posts: 53
    Options
    Have any of you taken the time to look at her bikini picture?

    She is thin, slim and seems toned.

    OP, if you were to lose those 6lbs just because you like the number 107 more than 113 then you shouldn't do it. Honestly at 5'3, 6lbs is A LOT (I'm 5'4 and know how big of a difference that can make). You seem perfect to me, and not saying your co-workers are right, but I think you should focus on toning and not losing weight. losing weight =/= less body fat %. PLEASE remember that.

    a woman that weighs 120lbs at 5'3 could have 18% bf %, and a 120lbs 5'3 woman could have 25% bf %. the number on the scale is not indicative of body fat percentage.

    I agree. Muscle weighs more than fat. Maybe work on toning certain areas with a trainer. Also your body after childbirth changes especially with a small frame. My hip bones are farther apart and my rib cage is wider. You can still have a great body but don't obsess.
  • Angie_1MR
    Angie_1MR Posts: 247
    Options
    I think you should get your body fat checked by a professional to see where you really are.
  • sarakrajewski
    sarakrajewski Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    I went through a similar experience, but mine was due to an eating disorder.

    as long as you know you are HEALTHY, don't let what others say bring you down. However, i do think it is easy to get into a grey area, where health is determined by the number on the scale. Even though i need to lose weight now (I gained a LOT during my recovery) i am WAY healthier than i ever was at my smallest weight. I think that is important to remember.

    Best of luck.
  • MarkAWhipple
    MarkAWhipple Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    I think you should get your body fat checked by a professional to see where you really are.

    This.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,691 Member
    Options
    Just because you are thin does not mean you are "healthy". Good for you for trying to get healthy. Try your hardest to ignore those people.

    I lost a good amount and now everyone is telling me I am too thin, so in a way I understand.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    Options
    I think you should get your body fat checked by a professional to see where you really are.

    ^THIS

    You don't know your actual BF%, so you're just making guesses to your own health. You might already be close to 17% BF. If you go much lower, you'll be starting to risk your health. The lowest a woman can go is 12%, and that's pushing it. The only people who reach that are elite athletes. You need to work out/train HARD to be able to achieve that. It requires a decent amount of muscle (but not bulk - toned). To strive for that, without doing heavy workouts, isn't a very realistic goal.

    Under 30% BF is healthy for a woman. Under 25% is very healthy. If you're not active, any lower isn't a wise choice.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    You sound perfect just the way you are now - But if you feel that you need to make a few more changes and are doing it the healthy way then screw them and do what makes you happy. Sounds to me that you are making positive changes and consuming more healthy foods - how can that be bad?
  • jdswaker
    jdswaker Posts: 36 Member
    Options
    What I had to start telling people is that since no one felt compelled to say...

    "Oh my God! How fat are you trying to get? You don't need to gain anymore weight. I'm getting concerned about your health."

    They do not now get to say...

    "Oh my God! How skinny are you trying to get? You don't need to lose any more weight. I'm getting concerned about your health."

    Keep doing what you're doing.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    Some people don't realise that having a relationship with your body is something that you build after years of struggling and succeeding in your own skin. They cannot just walk in and tell you that they know your shell better you do, little crab.

    They don't have a relationship with their body. You do. And You can own that relationship with pride.

    Go forth and amaze thyself.
  • abbylg1983
    abbylg1983 Posts: 177 Member
    Options
    Thanks for the comments everyone. I just wanted to address a couple things- I logged religiously from Jan-June and I pretty much eat the same things over and over, so although I do not log, I have a pretty good idea of the calorie content of everything I eat. If anything, I think I am eating less than what I'm actually consuming, so this is not a question of me starving myself.

    I do some strength training but not much, just what I can do in 15-20 min with my limited equipment (my job and baby take up most of my time). Mostly I do body weight exercises- lunges, squats, pull ups, push ups, etc. I do some deadlifting, bench pressing, but not as often as I should. I do almost no cardio except for the occasional bike ride which is more recreational than anything.

    I do not think my coworkers and family are jealous, I think it is honest concern. They act like I am one step away from anorexia. This is frustrating to me because whether or not I am thin enough- what is the harm if I don't want to eat bagels and donuts for breakfast anymore? Why is it bad that I am consciously trying to get a certain amount of vegetables and protein per day? I also think some of the 'you're too skinny' comments come from people who think they are complimenting me, but I don't take it as a compliment because I know it is not true. (and it wouldn't be a compliment even if it were true).

    The 6 pounds I want to lose is not set in stone. That is just based on some body fat calculator that says I would need to be 107 if I wanted to be 17%. The 17% is not set in stone either- it's just where I think I would like to be. My main concern is being healthier and stronger and I wasn't getting results eating nothing but cereal and bread and smart ones frozen meals.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    oh my cry me a river but look your on the lower side of a healthy weight for ur height any lower and u will be under so ya eating a piece of cake aint gonna hurt you i dont thnk these ppl r being mean or rude or are jealous of what youve done and i mean if your own husband is making comments about it then maybe you do need to move your thoughts away from loosing weight and lift sum weights or something and no im no where remotly close to being jealous and thats why im saying this i have no desire to be "skinny" im not envious of skinny girls or anything but there is a such thing as too skinny and im affraid your headed in that direction

    Maybe she doesn't want a piece of cake... and regardless it is totally inappropriate of her BOSS to tell her she is wasting away and needs to eat cake. Um, hello harassment?

Categories