Stop calling me too skinny!

It's very much a cultural thing. When I gained to 120lbs at 5'4", my asian family/friends never called me "thin" or too thin - my parents actually told me to lose a few haha (my face was getting puffy).

At 110lbs, no one said a thing either. The only time I've ever gotten comments is ironically, from strangers whose opinions I disregard.

Weight is not a measure of health. Show your family your blood tests and health records if they're really that curious.

I agree. In grad school one of my classmates from Korea was distraught about getting "fat". He told me that everyone was telling him that he needed to lose weight. To Americans he was normal weight, but in his opinion he was too big.

I also think that anorexia has been so sensationalized and overeating is accepted here. When people see another straying away from the standard American diet they panic.

I was harassed about my weight loss when I was dieting down for my first physique competition by co-workers, friends, and family. I lift religiously, eat clean 98% of the time, and never miss my cardio. The reason? I had a goal, and I was going to accomplish it. Well, I dropped from 150 to 125 and did it the right way. I lost faster than anticipated, but it was as a result of hard work and discipline. During this journey, co-workers had pot luck parties at work three times a week, and found ANYTHING to celebrate with cake while at work. They ordered in food that was unhealthy and against my diet. Never once did I say anything about how they chose to eat or live their lives, but every day they did this, they teased me and harrassed me about my chicken, yams, and veggies. They would leave brownies, cake, and cookies on my desk while I was out, then laugh when I came back to find them. After asking them not to do this many times, I finally snapped and threw an entire plate of brownies at the group, while they were eating. I would send my mom progress pics, and she would respond...."you look disgusting" Friends would say, "You need to live a little", 'lighten up", "You're obsessed...give it a rest." It is fascinating to me how uncomfortable it makes others when I don't participate in unhealthy eating with them.

Well, here's the kicker...after I got done with my competition season, I set a goal of adding as much muscle as possible over the next year. I knew I needed to regain some body fat to get to to optimal muscle building capability, so I added calories and carbs, decreased cardio, but I continued to eat clean. I have gained 15 pounds, but my body fat % hasn't increased. My body fat increased...but the percentage didn't. So, I gained muscle and a small amount of fat. I'm on track with my goals. What are the comments I get now? "Wow, you really let yourself go after the competition, didn't you?", "See, no one can be that disciplined forever!"

The point? People are mean, ruthless, judgemental, and insecure with their own inability to stick to their goals and dreams, so they try to tear you down, so they feel better about themselves. Know YOUR goal. Know what is healthy for YOUR body type, and work at it every day. Use people's comments as fuel for your fire!! Good luck!

Heavier people believe they are complimenting you. I realize you don't feel complimented. It makes perfect sense to me that there is no excuse for telling someone they are too thin if one believes it is rude to tell them they are too heavy. "You look good to me...." and leaving it at that should be sufficient.
I would suggest just telling these people that you LIKE eating healthy and that you ENJOY exercising. They believe they are trying to talk you out of depriving yourself. Point out that you feel less deprived now than you did before because you enjoy your life more now. Well meaning people should then at least agree that "to each their own..." Smile indulgently at truly concerned people and point out that your doctor is pleased so far. You trust his / her judgement as to whether you are "too skinny" and "don't eat enough", not even the most loving and well meaning lay person.

Sounds annoying and inappropriate. Even if it's a backhanded compliment (how many times can you say - you look great losing all that weight - I so admire you?).

But I would also take a step back.

I have two sons (one 24, one 13) with BMIs of 17. They ARE skinny. Muscley, look great, and skinny. Put them in the wrong clothes and they look TOO skinny. The oldest is in the Peace Corps right now living in a tin roofed cinder block shack with no water. I saw him two weeks ago and hugged him and he IS too thin - all ribs and backbone (6'2" and maybe 135 lbs). 17 is the bottom end of healthy. When I got that thin (long ago) my ballet instructors told me I should gain weight.

When my 6' sister dropped 65 pounds very quickly it was also scary to us. Not that she was too thin (she wasn't - it was weight she needed to lose and she looked great), but because she showed no signs of stopping losing when she had hit her goal weight. The dieticians she was working with told her she HAD to eat more calories because they were worried about her becoming too obsessive about her diet and developing an eating disorder. (It turned out that she did have one.)

It's inappropriate for colleagues to tell you this. But maybe the worry isn't that you're too thin now, but that they're worried you are very thin now and are still trying to lose MORE weight.

I have a friend who always says that. It's just because she is way bigger than me. Ignore people.

Ignore them. That sucks that they do that to you. I have to be honest though, I am Italian and it is in my nature to feed a person no matter what shape they are in. It is part of our heritage to "put a little meat on those bones."

Honey, you need to be taking advice from your doctor and a nutritionist, not a message board on a web site, and not your co-workers.

No, but I am very close to several people who have this same problem. Some people are just naturally smaller framed, and us "bigger" ladies are just jealous of that because we struggle too. I can indulge in 6 beers and a hamburger one night after being healthy all week and it entirely undermines all the effort I have put in. It doesn't seem fair that I'm not allowed to treat myself once if i want to lose any weight. But it is what it is and that's how it goes for me. But I digress...I think people like me see people like you and start harping because they can't understand that you are struggling to be healthy just like the rest of us. It's all relative. Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they are healthy, and people don't get that. My friends just don't discuss weight loss efforts with co-workers and when they are approached they politely put out an exasperated "*sigh* I'm so tired of being mocked for choosing to live a healthy lifestyle...I mean, I thought that was supposed to be a good thing." and walk away. It usually ends up never coming up again.
Us ladies will never be totally happy with our bodies. Theres always going to be a flaw. So keep up your good work and don't let people get you down, but remember to love yourself too in the process and embrace your flaws. (Sorry about yur boobs, though...that does kinda suck.)

I think it just depends on your body type.

I am 5'4 and at one point i got down to 108 (from illness) I looked horrible and I was all skin and bones, I had absolutely no boobs left whats so ever. Not to mention my muscle definition was disappearing. I felt way too skinny, and everyone around me was telling me to gain weight (and they were right).

Eventually, I got up to 115 and already looked much better, now i am back to 120 and people stopped making comments. I just look fit, but not too skinny.

Maybe sometimes people are just worried or concerned. If I were you, I would do more lifting less cardio, eat more protein, and see where that gets you

They are jealous because you are making amazing changes and look fantastic! Look up you BMI and just tell them that. You are normal and at a healthy wt. Just let the haters hate, and block them out! Stay strong!

I get that a lot... I ignore it. I know where I need to be better than anyone. I am aiming for 17-18 as well. Currently at 19% Good luck love, and don't pay them any mind....Carry on!!!!

IDK...I don't know you...however if everyone around you are telling you the same thing, especially the people you love and love you, then maybe you should stop for a moment and listen to them.

Yea, you can give me all the numbers you want, but these people know you....they love you...they are concerned for your well being.

What concerned me is the fact that you no longer log. You say you are eating 1500 cals but six months ago, I said the same thing lol (instead I was eating 3000....maybe you might be eating 500 and don't realize it). Try logging again for a few days and see.

At your height/weight...the way you look in your pic....it looks to me like you are thin enough. Listen to your loved ones hon....they are not lying.

This is very similar to what I was thinking....

I get this all the time from my wife. The problem is that it took me 12 years or so to pack in the weight, and about 7 months to take it all off. So she has in her head this concept of what I should look like, and what I do look like is nothing like it. The other part is that we were supposed to lose weight together, but she got left way behind. I used MFP, she went on weight watchers, but the points system is too arbitrary, not built up enough, and instead of scanning a single bar code like I did, she had to enter 4 different values to get a point count, and that didn't cover anything that wasn't prepackaged. I remember once I made dinner for us, and it took her longer to enter all the nutrition values than it did to eat the dinner.

Anyway, the point is that she tells me at least once a week that I'm too skinny, and I tell her that I'm not losing any more, and it's just toning from her on out. Over time, she'll get used to it. She does lament the loss of my derriere, but I think she can cope with that.

I was hearing the same thing. So then I thought, maybe I am too skinny. So I ended up gaining 5lbs, which on our frames is huge, but it is 5 lbs of jiggly belly fat, not muscle. I am going to now "start over" and try to focus more on healthy eating and strength training and less on how many calories consumed and endless cardio.

It's typical in America for thin, healthy people to be considered unhealthy and too thin. Look at the percentage of fat people in this country; a healthy, thin person isn't the norm. When I was vegan, I was very naturally thin and got the same b.s. I'd just smile, say thank you, I prefer to stay on the thinner side because it keeps my blood pressure, cholesterol and other issues related to being fat out of my life and mind.

If that doesn't work, just tell them to put their nose back in their business and out of yours!