Attraction Question

o2bADyer · July 2012

Isn't it all personal preference? Two people aren't going to want or desire the exact same traits in their mate as the other person. And it isn't JUST the physical traits either...in my opinion.

j_wilson2012 · July 2012

Oh, and for the record, neither of my parents had red hair. :glasses:

Wow....that ginger comment has gotten a lot of circulation. I had to google it to find out what it was. Turns out, it is ME! that got me interested. And then, as I slept in lazily, out of reach of the remote, I heard the Wendy Williams show (ugh), and she was talking about them. Strange.
I can speak on the redhead thing. I have a dark auburn haircolor, and freckles. I do not have flame red hair, vampire pale skin, or bright freckles. Relative to my "race", I have a darker complexion. I am told that I look just like my dad, but only structurally. He has brown hair, and no freckles. I have the same hair color as my birth mother, but I believe only by coincidence. I will explain. Also, my facial makeup is from my dad.
My sister, born to my current mother, is a spitting image of me, which tells me that my dad carried the redhead gene, but it was recessive in him. As he passed it on, it became dominant. He is adopted, so I cannot trace my geneology past my father, but because my sister looks exactly like I do, and her birthmother (my stepmother) does not have an ounce of red hair in her, I can come up with these conclusions.
It is a complex science, but you have to look at family history to be able to tell if your kids will have red hair or not. I am not totally sure, but I think that the redhead gene is alternate in some cases. Is there a Geneologist than can shed some light on this? I would bet that if you are a redhead, fiber, someone in your biological family has red hair and freckles, even if it is a few generations back.

Josie_lifting_cats · July 2012

For some of us, the personality makes or breaks the physical attractiveness nearly completely. I don't care what you look like, if you don't have a sparkle in your eye when you laugh, make me laugh, or seem smart to me, there is no hope whatsoever. And while it sounds like crap, it's so very true for me. I've dated guys of all builds, and I just am not interested if I don't find that I could enjoy all of my time with him and have fun.

That said, scale theory is largely about self image, too. Even though I've lost weight and husband claims I look better than ever, think my self image is still low overall. I still see myself as a 2 as far as looks go. I do, however, think I'm hilarious and witty and cute in a nerdy sort of way.... Which helps. But I also feel that my husband has taken huge strides in this and is now significantly higher on the scale than I am, and that's hard to deal with sometimes.

that is why there are two main parts to the scale. you could be a ten, and it will be easy to meet people, but if you are two, it wont go much farther than that (unless the goal is a one night stand). But, you could look like a two, and have the personality of a ten, and never get a chance to show it, except with other 2s, as you wouldnt get a second look.

P.S.---- A guy loves it when his girl gets slimmer, for two reasons. It makes it easier for you to be on top, and it enlarges his penis! :bigsmile: Food for thought.

Ha! So it's all selfish, is it....?

I kind of also suspect it's that I eat less food now, which means more for him.

I'm really losing here.

anels449 · July 2012

Hello. I have a question. I am not a religious buff. I want to get opinions on this question: Do you believe in Natural Selection? The theory suggests that a person will choose a relatively attractive person to be with, because their kids will look great too. I know the old cliche:"Its what is on the inside that counts." But do you really want the nicest, smoothest guy if he looks like McLovin? Sex appeal is a greater factor in relationships these days, as premarital sex runs rampant.
I believe that if the sex attraction is not there anymore, the relationship is dead. We are mammals, it is natural. Science proves that better looking and fit people do better in life because it speaks volumes about their personality, and other people see that. What do you believe? In addition, do you believe in the scale theory (noone can date higher than their 1-10 rating)? I believe it has some merit, and for various reasons.

For me at least, there's the initial sexual attraction, but if their personality isn't sexy as well, I'll walk away and find someone else.

myateam4 · July 2012

I absolutely think you have to be attracted to someone to be in a relationship. From the moment I seen my boyfriend I knew there was an attraction there, and then over time you find out who they really are and their personalities which should make you even more attracted to them. Could I be with someone who I wasn't attracted to? NO. Also I think people can be attracted to someone and go through a break up and then be completely disgusted by their appearance. And then we all have different tastes, so when someone is ugly to us they might be hot as hell to someone else.

gogojodee · August 2012

Haha, bump. I only date above me on the totem pole! ;]

Actually, the lower someone is depicted on a totem pole, the higher level an honor is being given them. Interesting fact of the day. Carry on.

So what you are saying, is that true beauty is on the inside? Gees...google the scale theory and find out what it is about. Also find out what the Natural selection theory is about. It is apparent in every organism. It goes way deeper than what you said. I wont cater to ignorant comments like that.

I wasn't commenting on scale theory or natural selection, which I'm familiar and well-versed in (it ain't rocket surgery), but the meaning of actual totem poles, carved by Native Americans. The other girl's comment suggested that higher spots on a totem were "better" spots, when really it's the opposite. And, in fact, you did cater to a comment you saw as ignorant, since you responded and all.

haha - I'm actually 100% Native so I actually knew this, I was only making a joke. :] That tidbit of info was probably helpful.

iKapuniai · August 2012

t it basically assures me that my children will not be gingers!

ಠ_ಠ

LOL! I literally just lol'd.

InnerFatGirl · August 2012

I'll come back to this..

Attraction Question

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