How do adults make friends?

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  • jbaum329
    jbaum329 Posts: 11 Member
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    We all have different social skills and sensibilities. It take effort to be the planner. Some people just don't like to plan things or are not good at making social plans. Also, some people just don't feel the need to go out all that much. When they do, it's good luck for them if to have a friend who's willing to hang out when they get the desire to. But, you don't always have to do things on their terms. You could try to talk to them about it and see what they say just so you know where they are coming from and can make better plans or to put limits on how much planning you actually want to do. Everyone is different. I have this type of thing happen a lot between my husband and I. He's way more social and extroverted than I am and a much better planner. I on the other hand, am introverted and love to be at home but go out when it feels appropriate for me.
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
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    My question is how can a socially awkward, sarcastic 36 year old woman who works in a office with a bunch of old ladies and stuffy lawyers meet new friends. I've put all of my efforts into work, marriage and kids for the last 13 years and now I'm ready to have a social life again. I have grown apart from old friends and really miss having those close girlfriends. Any suggestions?

    Find something you like to do, and start taking a class. Yoga, dancing, whatever. Before and after your classes, you'll probably be killing time by talking to the other people there, and you're bound to click with some of them.
  • jbaum329
    jbaum329 Posts: 11 Member
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    I'll be your friend. I am sarcastic! (not about making friends, just in general but you probably figured that.)
  • portalm
    portalm Posts: 201 Member
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    Become involved in the community
  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
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    Church? Neighborhood? Gym?
  • jbaum329
    jbaum329 Posts: 11 Member
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    That's my problem too. I almost never bother to move past "hello" to "wanna be my pal and hang out and do stuff?" because it feels strange to me. I'm also afraid of being rejected or finding out that me and my new pal will actually wind up hating each other or being a pain in the butt.
  • DietandVlogsense
    DietandVlogsense Posts: 48 Member
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    My question is how can a socially awkward, sarcastic 36 year old woman who works in a office with a bunch of old ladies and stuffy lawyers meet new friends. I've put all of my efforts into work, marriage and kids for the last 13 years and now I'm ready to have a social life again. I have grown apart from old friends and really miss having those close girlfriends. Any suggestions?
    I read a very interesting areticle a couple of weeks back which concludes that once you hit you mid-twenties it becomes harder and harder to make new friends, by that they meant real friends, like BFFs.

    I'll see if I can find the link.
  • DietandVlogsense
    DietandVlogsense Posts: 48 Member
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    Here's the link. Actually rings very true...

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
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    I know how you feel.
    II once had friends then met my ex husband, lost contact with my friends because he couldn´t stand them, so I came a part of his friends circle.
    We divorced and I was all of a sudden isolated and still am over 9 years later.
    I have met people in school, people I have gotten to know online but that has never bome a true friendship, just people I know a little and pass by and say hi to.
    I´m very shy, quiet and listen. Maybe I´m not outgoing enough. I tend to feel lonely but still I don´t feel the need for socialicing much though.
  • racemary
    racemary Posts: 52 Member
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    Oh I can see where you're coming from. Making friends just gets harder the older we get.
    Now imagine this: I'm 30, no children, not married (and not too keen on the whole marriage thing either lol). I'm a part-time PhD student, part-time tutor. So most PhD students are a bit younger, most employees at unis are a bit older. I tried volunteering, groups, fitness classes. Turns out I'm not really 'my age' - mind of a 40something and life of a 20something. So I gave up all prejudices. I'm a foreigner and would have loved to have some friends who are from the town I live in and who wont move away so that I feel more integrated. I'd love to have friends my age. Now most of my friends have moved countries too and will continue to do so, my best friends are 27 and 37. Sometimes it's a start to have certain friends to do certain things with and move on from there. Just keep an open mind :)

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