I think I need to be told I am fat

While I'm all for making someone feel good about herself, sometimes we need a kick in the pants, right? You carry your weight very evenly, I never would have guessed 190. While I don't look at your picture and think "that girl's obese!" you obviously know you need to lose some weight or you wouldn't have written this post. Here's the reality, though and I'm giving it with love and respect... I'm about your height and if I ever saw 190 on the scale I'd be much more than a little unhappy. In fact I hit 140 last year and was VERY unhappy because I was about to fall into the "overweight" category. That was my wake up call and the moment I got into action.

Don't let people convince you of something you know is untrue. If you know you're overweight and are unhappy about it, do something. Do it for you because you know that 190 at 5'3" isn't healthy no matter what people tell you. Good luck on your journey, wherever it takes you.

You should have seen my face the day I had my children,I weighed close to 240 with both of them :noway:
I know I am overweight and unhappy about it,I just dont think that I need to lose 50lbs to feel,look and be healthy.
It is a lot less overwhelming thinking "I need to lose 30 /40 lbs" and doesnt seem so unrealistic.(I weighed 155 on my honeymoon 13 years ago,then got pregnant with my son and have yet to get under 170 in the past 10 years :ohwell:
I always have people tell me that I look fine and do not need to lose weight,I know I just hold my weight well and that healthwise it would be better to lose anything,even 20lbs.
thanks for your honesty

You may not need to lose the full 50 lbs to be at a healthy weight for you. I weigh 165 which is 10lbs overweight at 5'6" by the BMI chart and I am pretty dense so I look like I weigh a little less. Obviously I could still stand to lose a few pounds (I'd like to lose that last 10) but at this point its just going for less belly and arm flab, not overall smaller-ness.

You do look overweight, but you don't look 50lbs overweight. Actually - what scale are you using? I had an old scale that was putting me in 10 lbs heavier than I am.

They say that even losing 10% of your weight even if it does not put you into a 'healthy' bmi has enormous health benefits, so why not just shoot for the 20 lbs lost and then take it from there. That way you WILL get the health benefits and if you feel good at that weight then fine, leave it. (PS also active overweight people are healthier on the standard markers than inactive thin people, so if you are not active now adding that will also have health benefits).

You are not fat at all.

There is nothing wrong with being confident and loving yourself. You look very cute to me in this pic!

You do not look morbidly obese!! You & I are alike in one way... unhealthy BMIs and bodies that are good at hiding it (except I'm like the rest of the crowd and think I look worse than I do, haha). Because I was able to hide it so well, it's taken me until now to decide I really have to take losing weight & getting in shape seriously. I came to this point for 2 reasons:

1) All of my co-workers are old enough to be my mother (or grandmother in some cases)... and I have seen the damage done to poor care of their bodies, and how difficult it is to keep up with a changing body. I want to make sure that I am in good habits NOW, at age 21, so that I can continue to keep my body in good health through the end of my days.

2) My big "WTF time to change" moment: back in June I (tried) to take a tough hike with my husband (who is a runner). I literally could not get up the hill. It was embarrassing how out of shape I was... My asthma kicked in immediately, I got frustrated and started crying at one point, it was a horrible mess, haha. After that I decided that a 21 year old (an any-number-year-old, truly) should not be kept from doing fun, active things from a simple unwillingness to get some exercise and eat food that is good for you. Then I found MFP, which has helped me keep up a momentum, and for the first time in my life I feel like I can achieve my health & weight goals.

You should do it for your health! I recommend the book "French Women Don't Get Fat" by Mireille Guiliano... it will completely change the way you see food, health & well-being.

I think you know you don't look morbidly obese.

I don't mean this disrespectfully or in a mean way, but if you want my honest opinion, I think you are trolling for compliments and attention.

But what do I know?

If you are being honest with yourself, you know what morbidly obese truly looks like. If you truly see yourself as that way, then you may need to get some help (sorry, just being blunt - not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings. I personally think you look great.)

I got curious about the definition of "morbidly obese", so I looked it up:

Obesity traditionally has been defined as a weight at least 20% above the weight corresponding to the lowest death rate for individuals of a specific height, gender, and age (ideal weight). Twenty to forty percent over ideal weight is considered mildly obese; 40-100% over ideal weight is considered moderately obese; and 100% over ideal weight is considered severely, or morbidly, obese.

from http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Morbidly+obese

You definitely don't look morbidly obese! Or obese at all. When I see how good you look, and then think that I weight the same as you and I'm 5'8", I figure maybe I'm being too critical of myself, lol. I still have some extra weight on me and I can't seem to shake it off, which aggravates me cuz everyone tells me I don't need to, but I know what I look like naked and they don't, lol. I always wonder if people are just being too nice...

I don't think you look unhealthy and you have a feminine figure. There's some extra pounds, yeah, to be honest, but you know that too, the numbers are lying but there's an element of truth.

All in all, we can always make healthier choices, and that's only good for us. There is no harm in adding some exercise, cutting out some crap and adding some nutrient rich, low calorie foods. Aim for health, not numbers!

BMI is such a sham. It was invented in the 1800's and people and physiques have changed a lot since then!

I agree! Food is the devil. If I ever win the lottery (yeah, right) I'd hire a personal chef. I tell my husband that all the time. LOL!

This is exactly what happened to me. I hadn't allowed my photo to be taken in awhile and then I set up the camera to take one of my sis and I. I never thought I was fat til I saw that pic. I wasn't happy before because I was always griping about finding clothes to fit. I think I was in denial. Not anymore and on the road to health now;)

denise:drinker: :drinker:

Some people think they are much bigger than they are,I think I have the opposite problem,I think/feel that I am smaller than I am.
I wore this outfit the other night and felt so good,then I see the picture and am like ...not feeling so good.
I weigh 190 and need to lose at least 40 lbs to be even close to a healthy BMI(more like 50+) ,but my motivation lately has been less than stellar,the working out,running ect is great I work out all the time,I just eat way too much :sad:
So tell me do I look morbidly obese(I am only 5'3 so this is where I fall on the charts!)

I got curious about the definition of "morbidly obese", so I looked it up:

Obesity traditionally has been defined as a weight at least 20% above the weight corresponding to the lowest death rate for individuals of a specific height, gender, and age (ideal weight). Twenty to forty percent over ideal weight is considered mildly obese; 40-100% over ideal weight is considered moderately obese; and 100% over ideal weight is considered severely, or morbidly, obese.

from http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Morbidly+obese

Thank you! So glad you posted this! People are using "morbidly obese" wrongly. It is not about how fat you look. It is a mathematical calculation which takes into account the percentage of fat you have relavitve to your height, age and gender. So if you're my height (5' 3") female and weigh153lb you're obese but if you weigh 200lb you're morbidly obese. It doesn't mean how you look or how you carry it it means you're at a higher risk of having a serious health complication or dying when compared to a person of same height, age and gender weighing 120lb.

I know I am overweight and unhappy about it,I just dont think that I need to lose 50lbs to feel,look and be healthy.
It is a lot less overwhelming thinking "I need to lose 30 /40 lbs" and doesnt seem so unrealistic.(I weighed 155 on my honeymoon 13 years ago,then got pregnant with my son and have yet to get under 170 in the past 10 years :ohwell:
I always have people tell me that I look fine and do not need to lose weight,I know I just hold my weight well and that healthwise it would be better to lose anything,even 20lbs.
thanks for your honesty

Who cares about 50lbs? If you figure you maybe need to lose 20lbs, then lose those 20lbs. then have a good look at yourself, and visit a doctor and do a little learning about where your health is at, and then see there if it's time to lose more or not.

People will often tell you "no, you're beautiful! you don't need to lose weight! you're not fat!"
This is because:
a - we've linked weight and self-esteem too much. You *do* look good. that doesn't mean you don't also look fat. You *should* feel good about yourself. but that doesn't mean you should feel good about excess body fat. It is entirely reasonable to love and respect yourself, and choose to lose weight for those very reasons. Because everyone should respect themselves enough to take care of their bodies.
b - people prefer to deny reality rather than admit bad things, let alone recognise something negative in another person
c - most people are overweight themselves, and if they admit that you are obese and need to lose weight, that might force them to admit that they (who are in even worse shape) are obese and need to lose weight. People don't like confronting unfortunate realities like that.

Are you up for brutal honesty?
I think many of us have started to lose our sense of overweight, because so much of the population is overweight. When we compare with 'average', we often forget that the average person these days is overweight.
I definitely don't see morbidly obese, but I definitely see overweight.

You look like you carry your weight very similarly to me - it's evenly distributed across your body. Some people gain weight and it turns into one big beer belly, or spare tire, or huge thighs. Some people instead gain weight very very evenly, and that makes it less visible. Instead of seeing one big fat area, it's a smaller layer of fat all over. So you don't look as heavy, and it's easy to not notice the pounds for a while.
Looking at your photo, there's no big fat area, but everything looks soft and having some extra width. Your waist doesn't go in much, but your body appears as though it naturally would. Your widest part is not at your hipbones, but below that - suggesting extra weight carried on your thighs. Your arms are extremely soft, and your wrists and hands look a bit puffy.

So I don't think you look too bad, and you definitely carry your weight well, but you probably do have a fair bit of extra fat on your body that doesn't do you any favours, and would probably be healthier losing some of it.

this

and BMI is flawed.
If it says you're morbidly obese, I don't buy that. You may have more lean mass than is typical at your height/weight ratio.

So, if you posted this just to hear all the "helpful" people say over and over how great you look, you are not gonna get that from me. I hope this wasn't a veiled cry for compliments....

Not morbidly obese, but definitely overweight. You have work to do. For your health, for yourself, and for your children. You could be healthier at a lower body fat percentage. Aim for that.

I agree with these two posters. The first poster was very tactful and not brutal

You are not morbidly obese but you are overweight.

You do carry your weight well. Which, to me, means you are going to be super hot when you trim down!

Perhaps just over the overweight line, but you're not morbidly obese. I want to lose 125lbs, and my BMI will still be in the overweight section. I am morbidly obese.