Quickie weddings or long engagements?

987Runner
987Runner Posts: 209
edited December 27 in Chit-Chat
Just a question I've been thinking on. I was married within 8 months of meeting my hubby, only engaged for four of those months and then he went overseas right after we got engaged! Engaged at 19, married at 20, first kid at 21. (Been happily married 13+ years now)

I really like the quote from When Harry Met Sally: "...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." It just rang true for us!

What was your engagement length? Still engaged? How long had you been serious before the proposal? What's your story?
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Replies

  • Kerilynnda
    Kerilynnda Posts: 129 Member
    I've been dating my fiance for 5 years, and we FINALLY got engaged last October. Our date is this January - so we will have been engaged for a little after a year when we get married.

    I think it's just personal preference!! I know I'm happy as can me, I wanted to wait a while before getting engaged, i wanted to live with him first.

    Congrats on 13 years! :flowerforyou:
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
    I was engaged for a month. Wish I would have had a longer engagement. He didn't show his true colors until after we were married and had a baby on the way. Long story short, he decided that family life wasn't for him because we (the baby and I) interfered with his extramarital affairs and him trying to lead a 'single life' out and about. Needless to say, its over. I highly recommend long engagements.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I dated my husband for two weeks before deciding I wanted to start a family with him. So we did. 9 months later, our son popped out. a year and a half later, we got married (we only waited so long because we wanted to save up. His family would have flipped out if we just went to the courthouse).

    The last four years of my life have easily been the best. When you know, you know.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    We've been together for a little over 2 years but moved in together after about 6 months. We just got engaged in May with no date set. I'm not in any rush since I'm lazy about planning things.
  • 987Runner
    987Runner Posts: 209
    Two totally opposite replies there so far.

    That's scary to have a quick engagement and then the other person shows their true "dark" colors. I'm sorry! It makes me feel lucky and blessed that my hubby stayed true to how he was when I met him.

    That's great to hear a long engagement is working out so well too!!!
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
    Honestly.. I can't wait its taking to long. But My bf doesn't see it that way. To him, why rush? Then he corrects himself b/c we have been together for over 3 1/2 years.. but he still quotes "why rush it? We have the rest of our lives together" But OP I agree with you, and "When Harry Met Sally" but.. eh...

    We are ring shopping in 2014.. which by then will be like 5 years... not soon enough for me. We live together.. I mean, WHY wait?

    But anyways, after that rant... I used to want like a year engagement. JUST to make sure I have enough time to plan, but now (my parents own an Event Center) once I get engaged, I'm going to find a date within a 6 month period, (by this time I have already planned what I want.. no need for a long engagement) that works and get married. It will be a heck-tick.. fast, 6 months. But I'm tired of waiting...
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
    Two totally opposite replies there so far.

    That's scary to have a quick engagement and then the other person shows their true "dark" colors. I'm sorry! It makes me feel lucky and blessed that my hubby stayed true to how he was when I met him.

    That's great to hear a long engagement is working out so well too!!!

    The whole thing sucked but I feel bad mostly for my 19mo daughter. Not what I wanted as far as a family life for her at all. But on a higher note, we are happier and have a much more stable life now that he is not part of it.

    Im glad to hear that there are decent guys out there. After my ex its hard to trust again. Congrats on your happy marriage! :flowerforyou:
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Dated for 3.5, engaged for about 10 months, now married for 3 years. The timeline worked well for us. Met right before college, dated through college, engaged senior year, married before grad school.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    With xPrincessx i'd marry her tm...
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
    we dated for about a yr, got engaged and married 2-3 months later...bammm just like that;) now we have a gorgeous 10 month old baby girl and r doing great!!
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    going on three years (and four years of friendship) and only living together as of now. i moved in with him and his older sister for 6 months, then we decided to get our own place 100 miles away and reuped our lease for the 2nd year. not saying i wouldnt want more though haha. i know hes the one i wanna marry

    it will happen when it happens, its nothing i can (or would want to) plan.

    i know for sure i dont want kids for the next 5-6 years.

    in the past i have always moved in first (before engagement) and they always show their true colors after a while.... so far so good this time around though :]
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    Dated 5 years, engagged 2 months.
    Married forever it seems( neither of us can remember how long, as marriage was just a piece of paper for a visa)
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    I think we may be a bit of an anomaly. We never formally 'dated', nor was there any formal 'proposal' and we've now been married more than 14 years.

    I believe we were together a couple years before we decided to get married and engaged for about a year or so.

    Looking back at our friends who got married, whether it was quick to wed or a prolonged engagement seems to have made no difference. Most are divorced. A few remarried, a couple of those more than once. One, after five marriages, gave up entirely.

    I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about it, even though I do think a lot of young (under 30) people rush into getting married. It depends on the couple themselves.
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    My BF and I have been living together for 7 years. We can't get married yet due to reasons not in our control and we probably won't get engaged. I don't really want a huge wedding so when it does happen it'll be fast.
  • msmindylee
    msmindylee Posts: 61
    We met in December and were engaged four months later, moved in together, got married exactly a year after the proposal, and we've been married a little over 20 years now. No human kids, but we have a menagerie, LOL
  • darciew2
    darciew2 Posts: 50 Member
    Dated a year, engaged one month, quick wedding on the beach......2nd marriage so we both knew what to look for, and what we wanted. :)
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 842 Member
    when i see something i like i want it now so i'm a fan of the quick marraige that being said i been engaged for over a year now and it's killing me but it's her that wants to wait ugh
  • dj_phx
    dj_phx Posts: 115 Member
    My boyfriend and I have been together over 8 years, and living together about 6. To us marriage is really just a formality that we will eventually get around to.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i met mine, a month later was pregnant. a month after that he left for the army. got married when he graduated boot camp, and separated a year and two children) later.
    we reconciled for a little while after that.. but it didn't work out.

    we are still legally married and it's been 10 years.

    i was 19 at the time, and he was 17.
    we were way way way way way way way way waywayyy too young.

    lots of regrets.
  • instructor03
    instructor03 Posts: 56 Member
    my husband and I were a blind date. We dated for 3 years (living together for 2 of those). Had a 4 month engagement and will be celebrating 20 years in October!
  • DinaLKeil
    DinaLKeil Posts: 95 Member
    Met in February and got married that next October. No engagement really...and no official first date. Had a child about a year later. Been married for 14 years this October. :)
  • Janiot
    Janiot Posts: 187 Member
    Engaged at 6 months, married at a year -1st child 9 months later!- still happily married 22 years gone May
  • crazylikefox
    crazylikefox Posts: 100
    I remember seeing the Muppet Movie, and I turned to my spouse and whispered in his hear of the human couple "They've been dating for 10 YEARS?? That is just weird". He looked at me and replied "THAT is what you find weird; not the spontaneous singing and dancing, or the fact that his brother is a muppet..."

    We dated for a year, were engaged for a year, and have been married 10+ years. But then again, we ain't born typical ;)
  • ali_b83
    ali_b83 Posts: 324 Member
    First marriage-engaged for almost two years
    current marriage- Met in November, engaged by January, married in February. Why wait, right?
  • crrc78
    crrc78 Posts: 207 Member
    I met my husband when I was 20 - in 1999, while studying abroad in Australia (he was on my flight from LAX to SYD) and the rest was history! We were engaged in late 2003, married in June 2005 and had our first child in 2008. I think it really depends on the couple and where are you in your lives. There is no wrong or right. COMMUNICATION IS KEY THROUGHOUT.
  • norabeth
    norabeth Posts: 176 Member
    Meet my now husband in April 2009. Moved in together august 2009. Engaged June 2010. Married august 2011. Engaged for 14 moths only so we could pay for the wedding without loans or credit cards.
    I would have gotten married that same summer if not for money. :-) :-)
  • Lakeswoman
    Lakeswoman Posts: 37 Member
    Met in May. Then December saw us taking about marriage.. Married the following March, during my college spring break. That was over 32 years ago...and still going strong!
  • lobbyart
    lobbyart Posts: 24 Member
    Moved in at 3 months, engaged at 4 months, but we had a 14 month engagement... married 6 months and everything is just lovely!
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    Met in April. Married in June. Pregnant in December. 28 years and 4 kids later, he's still my best friend. When you know, you know.
  • lmeasterling
    lmeasterling Posts: 139 Member
    My husband and I dated for 6 months before getting engaged & got married 6 months after that. We've been very happily married since March, 2011, and are looking forward to spending the next 60 years together! IMO, 6 months was the perfect engagement length - long enough to get things planned, but not so long that it felt like I'd never get to the wedding day! lol. :)
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