Do you ever feel like others try to deter your goals?

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24

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  • peachyxoxoxo
    peachyxoxoxo Posts: 1,178 Member
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    People who don't workout or care about eating healthy or being healthy in general get mad/jealous when others around them do. I have people tell me I am too skinny when I am naturally thin. I workout to stay strong, be toned, and for the cardio. I don't want the reason of my death to be because I didn't take care of my body.

    That's the weird thing in my situation though. My mom does eat healthy and she exercises almost daily. I feel like she of all people should be supportive!
  • r5wr
    r5wr Posts: 203 Member
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    Yup I gained about 40 with him its hard to.notice unless your looking you.can't really tell km the weight I am, but I know.so.it bugs me. Hr has no idea I've gained weight at all...but speaking of deer from goals my family just had a freak out when I refuse a slice of anniversary cake. My mom literate forced me to have a piece I took the smallest one. And thank.goodness I had the calories to slate tonight -______-
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Yeah, most people aren't going to understand. I do everything I can to avoid any kind of conversation about fitness.
    I try to avoid talking about it at all costs, with the exception of MFP forums! It typically just makes people feel guilty about their own lack of effort and spirals down from there.

    Just my opinion.

    Yep, ^this and ^this.
  • Barbellsandthimbles
    Barbellsandthimbles Posts: 205 Member
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    Yes, my family feels slighted if I don't eat the junk they offer me! Maybe with your mom it's more of an education thing. My mom has it in her head that cardio is better than lifting because it burns more calories (so why wouldn't I just do more cardio?). I have to explain why building more muscle is just as good for you.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    My house is filled with cookies, chips, junk food gallore! I get told, "its for me and the kids." I dont give a choice on my fitness my life, my future all depends on it. Days I feel adrift alone in a sea, but I look forward to my workouts, so it balances out. No one is going to ••••ing stop me.
  • tz93
    tz93 Posts: 1 Member
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    Happens to me all the time. My wife will come home from work with a high-calorie dessert, or make something unhealthy for dinner when she knows how hard I've been working to get my weight down again. It is very frustrating.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Happens to me all the time. My wife will come home from work with a high-calorie dessert, or make something unhealthy for dinner when she knows how hard I've been working to get my weight down again. It is very frustrating.

    Sometimes, just sometimes, a good swift kick to the side of the head will learn dem *****es.
  • RokkinRobin
    RokkinRobin Posts: 13
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    i've learned to
    a) not talk about it
    B) ignore people
    c) smile and nod
    d) secretly hate people


    I so agree with this. When people ask why I'm not indulging in the cookies or treats people are bringing, I say it's because I am trying to have better control of my type 1 diabetes, not to lose weight. They will support the diabetes thing, but if you tell them you're trying to drop a few pounds, it is "oh, just one [brownie, cookie, piece of cake, candy bar, piece of pie, muffin, etc] can't hurt you". Yes it can... if I give in once, I will do it again.
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
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    Yep. My mom was happy when she saw that I'd lost weight. Until she found out I weighed 1kg less than her. Then it was "OMG YOU MUST GAIN WEIGHT NOW, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY!"

    Sigh.
  • jadedzen
    jadedzen Posts: 221 Member
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    i've found this more among some of my female friends, it's almost like a jealousy thing. Some of my friends are really awesome about it and are following their own diet plans but i had one friend in particular who would make some of the meanest comments on my efforts to lose weight. she is no longer a friend, even though i'd known her since high school. i pretty much just don't talk about it except with my circle of about 5 friends who are all trying to support each other in our lifestyle changes. it's kinda like religion and politics... it's usually a topic that doesn't end well.
  • goldfinger88
    goldfinger88 Posts: 686 Member
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    I don't think your mom is being "suspicious" as much as concerned and making an honest effort to understand your goals. Her questions seem reasonable. Sometimes older people don't understand what younger people want. And many older women don't understand why a young woman wants to bulk up. My mother certainly didn't. She thought I was just odd. I guess for my generation I was.

    But she wants you to be healthy and can't understand why you want muscle. I see how she can feel that way and I sure understand why you do! I suggest you show her studies on why women should lift weights. If you tell her that you can ward off osteoarthritis, she'll understand that. Older people understand health and sickness.

    Just try to understand "her" and help her to understand you. She is, after all, your best friend and no one in the world will ever love you as much as she does.
  • liss125
    liss125 Posts: 77
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    Yeah, most people aren't going to understand. I do everything I can to avoid any kind of conversation about fitness.

    Yes! I am the same way. Unless I truly want someone's advice, I don't talk about it. Your mom is probably just concerned, though. It's her job to be worried and suspicious.
  • MoreneG59
    MoreneG59 Posts: 2
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    I agree with you totally. I feel the same way about my husband. I have never been a diet person, and up until the last few years didn't need to, but now I really do. Every time I try to cut back or work out or do anything to better my body and health, itl's like it
    really bothers him. I usually just try to do my thing without his knowledge of what's going on. It gets really hard and challenging and I attribute most of my failures to the interference from him. I know I should be stronger than this, and used to be. I am trying really hard this time to regain my own personal strengths and do what is right for myself. I think it bothers him that I want to improve myself when he doesn't care enough about himself to do things to improve his life. I am going to start focusing on being "the little engine
    that could"!
  • phenixred
    phenixred Posts: 26 Member
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    Most of my friends have been VERY supportive. Except i have one friend who is constantly complaining about her weight, she has asked over and over what am i doing , how should she start, what should she do. and I tell her. SHe always says "yea your right i'm going to try that too"
    Her main problem is she eats fast food at LEAST twice a day. almost EVERYDAY. When she comes over, she ALWAYS stops at Mcdonalds, gets huge box of the spicy chicken thingies, and than shoves them in my face "have some, i cant eat all these, have some" and if i say no thanks she gets OFFENDED!! Thats not being supportive AT ALL!! it just drives me NUTS. and when i say to her "no, i dont eat that crap anymore", she goes on and on about how she shouldent either, and devoures the whole box. ne day she came over with homemade chicken wings and got pissed that i only had 4. SO, i felt bad and ate more, and BLEW my day. I was so pissed at myself cause i feel like she is doing it ON PURPOSE, and i fell right into her trap.
  • XaviAvant
    XaviAvant Posts: 20 Member
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    Oh absolutely. Fitness and health have never been big in my family, so when I tell them I'm joining a gym, or that I'm eating better, or that I can't eat what they're eating because it's too unhealthy, they simply scoff at me or make some sly comment. It's like they're mocking me, it's like them saying "look at this *kitten*, trying to do better for himself." It's so discouraging...
  • kwin91
    kwin91 Posts: 128
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    I feel the same way, most of my family and friends say that I'm too obsessed with what I eat and how much I work out. And they are all constantly trying to get me to eat bad things when they know I won't. It's just annoying that most people using this site have to get motivated from other users, instead of their families.

    Like I know that I am so much healthier now, and if they see it too, why wouldn't they join in?!

    Also, when they say I'm too obsessed, I just think in my head that that's the reason they are overweight and out of shape. Being dedicated is different from being obsessed, I'm just glad that I know how to commit to this.

    EDIT:
    And my husband is the most supportive person for me. He's amazing and encourages me so much. He just wishes I would eat a little more-but hey can win every time.
    And I constantly feel like my friends are just jealous and try to make me eat bad things or drink bad things because they want me to be fat again..
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 1,003 Member
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    yup, i doggy sat for my frind last wknd while she went to the states with her dads piping band...when she dropped the dog off she complimented me on how good i look and how well ive been doing...she came back with a box or double stacked moon pies as a pmt for me. wtf?:huh:
  • bmonagle
    bmonagle Posts: 14 Member
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    The majority of the people in my work place are women. Since I have been dieting they are leaving cakes in the refrigerator. there has been a carrotcake and a chocolate cream cake in the frig this entire week. I wish they would leave prime rib or lobster lol
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Yep. My moms side of the family very supportive, especially since obesity runs in my family, and yet I am the only one exercising and eating better. My one is 350 and won't do anything but complain, the other one was using the body by vi shakes plus one meal plus workout and gained 8lbs last week. He is now at 437.

    My husband's moms side of the family makes in fun for me for not eating an entire plate of food every holiday. They do everything home cooked but they have restaurant size plates and when i fill mine only a quarter of the way, they say "aren't you going to eat more? Are you starving yourself?" It's like "no, i am just not that hungry" (i don't lecture them on portion size or exercise). My husband's dads side of the family, well, they are happy i am losing weight and can't believe that only 6 months after having our son that i have the energy to work out.

    My husband is 5'10" and 277, and mostly muscular. He got a fairly interesting wake up call recently because he doesn't understand how on earth he gained three pounds in a bout a month. I told him, "you have to work out and stop eating the fast food" (he eats it if I don't cook or make him sandwiches for lunch or fix breakfast and he also won't work out) but after he gripes about it, he then goes on about how he is perfect and blah blah blah (then why gripe?) and then gets mad at me when I go running or work out after he goes to bed or while he is at work and thinks I'm perfect the way I am but at 5'2" 191lbs, i'm not perfect, I'm overweight and would love it if my asthma wouldn't kick in and love to live longer then 57 years of age (my mom was that old).
  • munchlaxx
    munchlaxx Posts: 102 Member
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    I've learned not to bother discussing it with anyone around me unless it's someone I see in my gym...

    My family's negative every time I ever mention anything about this change in my life. I can't even talk about it with an old friend I've reconnected with (used to be best buddies). She thinks I am crazy. It's just all a downer. My husband supported me, but I think he's bored of the calorie counting thing now, so he doesn't say much anymore. He was meant to be on a diet/exercise thing with me, but he works too much and can't commit to it like me.

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