Destined to be Fat Forever? (Ranty)

I'm going to cut to the chase. You are in denial.

Like an addict, you have to WANT to get fit and healthy, want it more than anything. Be willing to sacrifice a little piece of yourself for the ultimate goal. Until that lightbulb moment comes, you will always try and fail. The lightbulb moment is a feeling inside you, when everything suddenly clicks and you get a determination that you've never had before and you KNOW this is it.

It will be hard along the way, but if you're sick of starting again, then you can't give up.

Having said that you have lost 54lbs, so you can lose weight. No one is destined to be fat and no one is naturally fat. You can do it. Don't deprive yourself as you'll just snap and fail, have a cheat meal once a week and allow yourself a small treat if your calories allow.

I hear you. I've been there. I am completely healthy except for that dang number on the scale. But I don't agree that I am destined to be fat forever.

I still think about food constantly. Its in my head all the time. Its why I'm on MFP all day everyday. I want to eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, celebrating, etc. But I don't eat all the time anymore because I make a continuous effort to change my point of view. Food is not entertainment, nor is it my best friend or lover. Acknowledging that food is none of those things and is only required for survivial is what has prevented me from continuing to get bigger and bigger.

Have I lost a ton of weight yet? No.... but I have prevented myself from reaching the 300 pound mark, and I have begun to lose slowly.

Do I slip up and eat crap? Yes, which is why I haven't lost a lot of weight yet.

So why don't I just give up and let myself enjoy whatever I want? Because I have hope. I have hope that being responsible about food will give me many more years with my husband. I have hope that being responsible about food will allow me to participate in any activities I so choose. I have hope that being resonsible about food will lead to days where my feet don't ache anymore. I have hope that being responsible about food gives me many more days to savor the millions of other things in life that I love other than food.

I continue to try because as long as I am trying, I am not failing. Somedays that's is the only reason I keep going is because I can't stand to fail at anything.

My advice is simple, just keep trying and even if you don't lose quickly or as much as you wanted to, you will be better for the small effort that you do manage to put into it. Even the littlest changes towards your health can go a long way.

I'm going to cut to the chase. You are in denial.

Like an addict, you have to WANT to get fit and healthy, want it more than anything. Be willing to sacrifice a little piece of yourself for the ultimate goal. Until that lightbulb moment comes, you will always try and fail. The lightbulb moment is a feeling inside you, when everything suddenly clicks and you get a determination that you've never had before and you KNOW this is it.

It will be hard along the way, but if you're sick of starting again, then you can't give up.

I've been waiting....and waiting...where the hell is my lightbulb?

But seriously, I think deep down I do want to lose weight, but it probably is just laziness. My hubby and I even joked last night, "We never would have gotten fat if it was this hard!" referring to how hard it is to lose...

I'm not in denial. I know EXACTLY how fat I am, the heath issues associated with it, the societal stigma, how it affects my love life and social life and basically how being fat negatively impacts most all of my life. I think I'm more pissed that being fat does all of these things and I oftentimes feel powerless to fix it. Like I said, I KNOW what I need to do in order to be healthy. Right now I'm just having a very hard time doing it and mentally convincing myself that it is, in fact, worth it.

It can take years to come. Someone close to me was obese for nearly 20 years before her lightbulb moment came.

You admit the problem is laziness, there is no way to change that other than refusing to be lazy. You can't sit there and wait for it to happen, you have to make the chnage no matter how difficult it is and the lightbulb moment will come eventually.

It's your choice. Your only two options are to lose weight and be the person you know you can be, or stay as you are and feel the sadness you feel. You sink or you swim.

I don't think you are denial about being overweight or knowing what you have to do, I think you are in denial about how much this is your responsibility and yours alone. Saying you feel destined to be fat forever is a natural thought, but also the words of someone who is looking for a cop out.

It is so so so so hard, all of us here know that and we all support you. I know I sound harsh, but I promise you it is something I wish I had realised earlier.

It sounds to me like you need to (a) adjust your thinking and (b) find things to do other than food that make you feel good. Don't think of it like "we can't have X" think of it like "I choose not to have X, instead I'm going to have Y." Healthy food can be delicious and satisfying. It only needs to be "cardboardesque" if that's what you want to eat. You can eat so many delicious things that will help you reach your goals - no need to eat stuff that tastes like crap.

If you are craving junk food or high calorie food, either have a little bit or decide that you are going to do something else. Go for a walk, hike, go to the gym, read a book, take a bath, do anything that distracts your mind from eating/food. There are so many things you can do if you have free time. Sometimes a change in scenery is good too - reading a magazine on your couch may be a gateway into mindless eating, but walking to the library and reading the same magazine rarely provokes the same result (at least for me). Get some hobbies!

I agree with what you said, You already lost 54lbs don't get down on yourself, its gonna take time. Don't make the mistake of going backwards you will regret it.

Part of your profile reads: "I'm huge, my legs and joints hurt, I have bad skin, I'm physically limited in the things I want to do..."

Your outlook of "heavy and happy/content" doesn't quite compute with the above... just saying.

It was more of an internal question to myself that I was posting on MFP, and it seems that others have that feeling as well. "Can I just live life the way I've been living and be happy?"

Sometimes it's just too much, and sometimes it's very hard to stay positive. Obviously I've had some small successes, but damn...that 50 pounds was not easy, but at the same time I look back on this last year, having lost that weight in that time period, and I KNOW I didn't try very hard.

Maybe I am making excuses for myself, but as I said, this was exactly how I was feeling this morning and often how I feel alot of mornings, particularly if I've eaten poorly the day prior.

Maybe it's just the way I grew up, but there has always been an all or nothing mentality. if you slip, you fail...that sort of thing. I'm wondering if it does get easier...because 34 years later, it's only gotten harder.

Moderation is another issue I have...if i have a little, I'll want A LOT! So maybe it's just supposed to be a lifelong process. I know I'm going to strive for a healthy eating lifestyle, but I don't know if I'm ready to accept the "forever" part of it...I dunno, just one of the aspects of the journey I'm having serious issues with.

But, like some have said...I have lost over 50 pounds in a year. I know fat is bad and unhealthy and I want to do somethign about it...but maybe some people just don't want to work that hard. Obviously, we take the easy way...it's what we know and what we're comfortable with. Not saying it's right...just trying to explain how I feel and why it's so damn hard.

So your question is "Can I just live life the way I've been living and be happy?" The answer is obviously no because you already seem unhappy at the moment because it's "hard and just getting harder". It's not always easy and you just have to accept that fact. Will you have to do this your whole life?... YES! Until I'm bed ridden and fed through tubes, I will have to make a conscious decision about the foods I eat and how to keep active. Once I'm at my goal weight I'm not going to decide, ok, I'm done... time for McDonald's and back to being a couch potatoe. HELL NO!

Whether it's hard or not, a healthy lifestyle is supposed to be the norm, not the exception!